The average British cunt behind a wheel
Have you ever noticed when you have a rant with anyone about the twats in the road everybody gets angry and joins in with the cunting? Everyone’s fucking perfect at it yet everyone is always complaining.
Chances are the person your talking to or in earshot is one of the cunts you are having a rant at, just that they are not in a car.
What is it with the average nob head thinking they can drive? They clearly signed up to a £70k finance package when they have no interest in driving, are shit at driving and clean it about as much as their arsehole.
Im not talking technical driving, but within the confides of awareness, consideration, legality to within the UK law, and hazard perception.
Whenever I make a mistake I’ll put my hand out the window and apologise. If I gone fucked up, that’s on me. But these fucking shit houses nearly kill you and your family, then start giving you abuse.
If I had a handgun in the glove box there would be a good 12 less cunts stealing oxygen in the Manchester area today.
Ignorant cunts just drive around like they are in a video game and only their shite life matters. Fuck everyonelse and their families… Get home safely? Fuck that I need to get home 3 minutes early and see if big Leroy is ploughing the mother of my children. (stay together for the kids, obvs)
Anyway fellow cunters, after nearly being hit 5 times today from Denton, to Hyde, to Trafford by people on their phone,plain stupid, ignorant or distracted: I just had to complain. I could understand if I was wearing my fucking invisibility cloak that I took from Harry Potter after running him over whilst playing foxy bingo on my Phone. But no, I’m not part of the problem. I’m a fucking perfect driver…
Nominated by : Cunt Executive Officer
Great header pic Admin.
If only everything in life was as reliable as a Volkswagen (driver).
Ta. Made me chuckle when I found it. No caption needed – NA.
10
when we say British drivers in the nomination, I think we can safely conclude we mean parkis.particularly parki women in Nissan micras, and our little yellow friends in some Japanese people carrier grey market import shit machine.
21
….and the typical knuckledragging mouth breather covered in tats and a vest driving some fuck off pick up with warrior, invincible etc on the back. cunts
21
Oy twat. I got warrior on mine.
5
ahh, but fatjon are you also a knuckledragging mouth breather?
4
Considering the nominating cunter mentioned Denton and Hyde, I think that’s a safe bet. I was thinking the exact same thing.
Years ago I was trying to get out of London by way of Hounslow and what I witnessed could best be described as third world driving and parking.
16
Not a day goes by that I don’t drive past a group of cunts arguing at the roadside.
How hard is it to drive in a straight line?
Still with a extra 10 million third world bovine scum on the road, expect mad max fury road any day soon..
“OUT OF MY WAY YOU FUCKING CHIMP “
19
true. I think ‘younger’ drivers….anyone under 40 has gone through most of their live never being told they are wrong…. so nowadays no one is used to admitting fault or saying sorry so leafing to confrontations. I always find if some cunt makes a mistake on the road that affects me, then a quick hand up in their rear view mirror towards me acknowledging the error instantly diffuses the situation.
if you make a mistake, don’t try and defend it, just admit it.
too many on the road now don’t know how or won’t admit an error
17
Went on compare the meercunt last night and my prices were from £300 to £2160. Fuck that I stayed with current insurer. So many cunts on the road making driving a fucking moneypit and life lottery. Where’s Jeremy Vine when you want to knock a cyclist over.
11
Jeremy is currently in a dark room wanking furiously over a photo of Dame Kweer.
10
Haha, and I missed Gordon Ramsey too. Need a celeb on a bike pronto.
6
Every fucker should learn to drive in a 1980’s manual transmission car.
Some mod cons, power steering, fuel injection, etc but you still have to actually mechanically drive the bugger.
Part of the test ought to be mechanical comprehension.
Some soy-drinking pussy or idiot woman doesn’t have even the faintest idea how an engine works, especially the clutch.
Explaining why drivers should understand how a car works with a view to making them a better driver should be mandatory and the test ought to be much tougher (including hand-written answers) to keep the roads free of wimmin and darkıes.
There should also be mandatory re-tests every 10 years, every 5 years after the age of 70 with at least one driving lesson for refamiliarisation of driving standards.
17
agree…test should include how to change a wheel by the side of the road, how to use a manual handbrake on an incline and how to navigate without satnav
10
I’ve never used satnav. i have an A-Z and if i know I have to drive somewhere ive never been, just go on google maps the night before and print out relevant info.
1
I was unpleasantly surprised by a work colleague last week who showed up a couple hours late, having had to wait for the AA to come out and change a flat tyre for him…on his driveway.
He honestly had no idea how to do it himself.
That’s not a man. That’s a cunt
29
Broadly agree with you Tom, I guess you could classify it as experience. I learned to drive in 1960s era cars, drum brakes all round, no servo, no power assistance on steering, rear wheel drive, cross ply tyres. I have to say I’ve been out with drivers years younger than me who would struggle to get such a vehicle round the first bend on a wet road. Most things on cars are hugely improved since those days and the only part of that list I miss is rear wheel drive. My view is that cars reached a peak in the early 2000s, after that they started loading them with all kinds of junk which did nothing to aid driving and caused great distraction. Our younger memorably described one such as an ipod on wheels. Touch screens in cars? Nonsense, should have been outlawed years ago. I had one company car which had a small pad behind the handbrake lever on which you could draw letters while you were driving to hunt through your phone list on the touch screen! I never dared try it.
As regards mechanical knowledge our younger was asked by the examiner to show him the dipstick which is more than was the case in my day. I read that fully 50% of younger folks taking a driving test now do so in an automatic. They will never be able to drive a manual and will remain completely ignorant of what a clutch is. Periodic retesting sounds attractive but it would likely take many people off the road and that would put a big dent in our already fragile economy. That’s the point I suppose, the majority of drivers drive because it’s more convenient than the bus and they have no interest in improving their skills.
7
Why do they make cars so fucking wide?
Some of the roads around here are barely wide enough for a push bike yet you see more and more absolute cunts driving bigger and wider cars. Badly.
While we’re on the subject of absolute cunts driving big wide cars badly – why can’t they park in a parking bay correctly? Instead of leaving the bastard thing at 45 degrees taking up multiple spaces.
12
Because people are getting taller and wider. Clue’s in my name. Problem isn’t that cars are too big, it’s that parking bays are deigned by cunts with average car sizes from 1970 in mind.
2
Disagree with you about the parking bays fatjon. They are in fact designed by politicians in order to give the motorist a hard time. Same explanation for those bendy buses red Ken put on London’s streets. The routemaster had a footprint only perhaps double that of a saloon car and thus was ideal for use in London so Ken brought in 60′ long articulated juggernauts to fuck up the traffic. I used to watch them completely blocking the Islington High Street/Pentonville Road junction on a regular basis.
7
How fat some cunt is or how big their car is doesn’t explain 45 degree parking in a rectangle shaped space.
8
Cunts on their phones are a big problem – cunts so blissfully unaware of the world outside, the inherent danger of their activity and it’s illegality. Women applying their makeup in the rear view mirror come in at a close second.
I have to say though that old cunts and women in their 50’s driving their Honda Jazz at 35 in a 50 are dangerous even though they think they’re driving responsibly.
8
that’s what I don’t get about the legality and safety of modern cars. look at a tesla…everything is controlled by a laptop on the dash. zero manual buttons or knobs, so you have to navigate several screen menus just to turn the heating up….thus taking your eyes off the road everything. with a kbob or button, once you know where to find it, you can operate it without even looking where it is.
12
English drivers are cunts abroad.
They expect everyone to use their indicators.
They complain when people don’t.
Fuck knows why.
Are you going to pull out in front of someone just because their indicator is on?
The chances are that his indicator has been on for the last 15 minutes.
Take no notice of indicators.
Watch what the driver is actually doing.
British people cannot reverse into parking spaces.
Especially the women.
When they invariably dent a bumper when parking it’s straight off to the body shop for repairs.
What’s the point?
They are called bumpers for a reason and next week you’re going to dent one again.
They smugly say that we don’t know how to drive in the rain.
Listen you cunts.
It hardly ever rains here and when it does the roads are worse than skating rinks.
But…… I used to think that Pákís were the worst drivers.
That title must go to the French.
10
Being a none driver, did the car on the right forget to extend their newfangled wings ?
2
… If so, its something I’ll have to watch out for when I cycle from my seafront the short distance to wear I chain up my bicycle.
3
In my experience it’s East European drivers who are the worst menace on our roads today.
7
They tend to be primed with vodka before getting behind the wheel.
Driving in Poland is a real test of man-hood. It’s like a giant GTA simulator. Playing chicken in a car is not for me.
India is like the unreleased version of GTA. No one gives a fuck. Old ladies pushing carts the wrong way on the motorway….I could go on…..
British roads are safe in comparison. Über drivers are a special type of twat though.
8
I see lots of what you’re talking about, MCC. When watching WNC. The amounts of road pizza on there makes me hungry and I’m have to pop one in the oven fairly regularly.
4
In my humble experience;
Angriest drivers – bald, white men.
Worst drivers – Daki women.
Most dangerous – the dozen dish-dash clad Daki men crammed into the back of a BMW 2 series.
For me, the only definition of a good driver that counts is one that does not make life difficult for other drivers.
4
All true, we’re angry because of the rest!
I can barely get out of our estate without uttering the word Caaant!
9
Since the first motor vehicle, they’ve always traveled in a straight line. Why isn’t there an equivalent to the jump-jet version. Without me thinking it through, all motorists would be using one. There’s that idea down the drain, along with all the blood and guts l see in the road whilst cycling by without my helmet and bell.
6
Check this out, Sammy.
https://youtu.be/MetVwygPf9Q?si=ZKwqtzridi9VdOET
I seriously want one of these for my daily commute.
About £85k and it does around 60 mph.
I could be home from work in 8 minutes. instead of the hour it is currently taking.
That would be ace
2
That would be ideal, Odin for where I live, due to hardly anybody being around. Depending on your area, it could benefit you in also reducing the population.
1
I’m currently working in Alperton, which is wall to wall smelly Joe Dakis.
So the addition of twin mounted Vickers machine guns would be an absolute boon for strafing the high street at knocking off time.
2
You are professor Pat Pending and I claim my five wins on whacky races.
4
deliveroo, justeat deliver drivers with no insurance for commercial delivery use.
all cunts
13
They’ll also throw your dinner in the back of their hatchback as if gardening tools. I’ve watched them do it with their insulated takeaway bags when picking up orders. Launched in the back.
0
Driving is a cunt, used to enjoy it but every day seems to be drive l like a cunt day. Maybe it’s just an age thing?
11
Due to the dangers, some might not begrudge the darkie shagging his own mother previously. Its much safer so long as the law doesn’t catch up with him.
2
Effniks and old extremely old cunts should be banned along with boy racers and wimminz. The only people who should be permitted to drive are white male persons of good standing aged between twenty-five and seventy-five. With most cunts then banned from the roads the world would be much better organised and far less tense. The remaining drivers could even be trusted to have enjoy a few bevvies on the way home.
This policy has been fully costed by my far right think-tank.
Good morning, everyone.
11
PS Driving gloves and car coats would be de rigueur (wearing of which items being enforceable by law).
7
Driving gloves?
Dear God no. The true sign of a prat.
1
We are currently in Brittany. We were slowing down and indicating any some Breton tosser is nearly in our boot. Blind CUNT.
4
Repeat after me CM: BRANLEUR !!!
1
…branleuse, s’il vous plait.
1
Negotiating a roundabout even FFS. Pissing phone.
1
well, put it down while you’re driving cunty
2
Wimmin on fucking phones.
That’s all, no more to say.
4
Not many third world scum here, just piss heads and coke heads.
They manage to drive through walls, flip the car on its roof and have head on collisions on straight roads.
Need more big English oaks for the cunts to hit.
3
Quite a lot of that ’round Sussex and Surrey. twats in Porsches not giving way, crossing junctions to have a smash up with a Merc or Beamer travelling 80mph on the A road.
Women driving their 4×4 tanks, verring into the middle of the road to make the bend, smashed into by a silly old cunt driving her Twingo or Aygo while texting his dogsitter.
The act of consciously driving has been relegated to choice by many.
1
*her dogsitter.
Note; none of these are daki or any non-white category. They are all middle-class, white narcissists.
2
In a drive of approx 7 miles I have had to wait twice for people to make a 5 point turn on a major road. Two cars parked on zig zags at traffic lights. A car all 4 wheels on the pavement presumably to be off of double yellow lines and countless swerving twats delivering food to bone idle cunts to lazy to walk to greggs.
Not a single one among them was white, no wonder everyone one else has thought fuck it!
Bollocks to cars I’m guna get me a beat up skip lorry.
8
Johnny Foreigner is one of the worst offenders. It is beyond me why any fucker who ‘passed his test’ in a three wheel bag of shit overtaking camels and avoiding elephants should be allowed on our roads in the first place. East European shithouses who learned to drive while avoiding Soviet tanks are just as bad. Fuck the lot of them off, not just off the road but out of the country and off the benefits list too. Them, and all the unwanted shit hangers on they brought with them.
7
Young paki women…. fucking dreadful drivers….!
No bleeding wonder they won’t let them drive in shittystanland….💩
4
I’m a amazing driver.
Probably in the top 10% in the country.
Experience helps .
The rate Ill probably have to get a license.
4
The test should be harder, as there’s too many cars on the road. it’s the only fair way to reduce car driving. Exclude stupid people from ever getting a license.
2