Scrimpflation and Shrinkflation

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Essentially paying more and getting less.

I’d like to be able to post is an abstract manner like Sir Limply who puts me in mind of Professor Stanley Unwin, but that is not something that comes naturally to me. So I will just post as normal.

Products on shelves are getting smaller. We’ve no doubt all read or heard the stories about Toblerones having fewer erm..ridges? segments? pointy bits?

In addition we have the cunning ploy of the approximate weight (e symbol) against the weight of a tin of Roses.

Bags of crisps are now 2/3 air. Retailers will defend this by telling us their costs have gone up so they need to reduce quantities so as to keep the cost to the consumer low*

What’s that unpleasant but strangely familiar smell?
Oh that’s right. It’s bullshit.

*Keep your profit margins high you mean dearies.

It happens with ingredients. Sweeteners replacing sugar. Palm oil replacing butter or milk.

It also happens with services as well. Some of the services that were stopped during Covid never really started again, but yet they charge the same price or more.

How does that work then?

In the hospitality industry, some hotels are keeping room prices stable, but only offering housekeeping services upon request, or not providing waiter services, but relying on customers to do self-checkouts for breakfast.

Oh it’s the pandemic. It’s a knock on effect of the pandemic. They say.

What did we blame things on before the pandemic, brexit, or climate change?

Link for info to back up my rant and keep the admins happy
(They do a sterling job):

NPR Link.

Nominated by : Harold

85 thoughts on “Scrimpflation and Shrinkflation”

  2. I find that the easiest way to beat shrinkflation and balance my household budget is to put half the items in my basket and the other half in my coat pockets.

    • I find the easiest way to shrinkflation is googling nude pictures of Diane abbots cheese encrusted, distended ragged piss flaps open wide with the remnant of magic grandpa Corbins cream pie visible.

    • The only way to get through to them Thomas, is to enter the shop wanking. After the young lady behind the counter finished being astonished after you’d just shot your load, you then can explain why has everything been reduced to this. ( shrivelled up cock ) I can’t bring Jeremy Beadle in to explain because he’s dead.

  3. All the multinational mega cunt corporations are at it.

    They can shrink their greasy shite as much as they like.

    It’s far more exciting at Aldi where the most creative shoplifters and junkies go,why just the other day Mrs Terry popped in for a few essentials (whisky) only to find some ragpicker stuffing joints of frozen beef into his filthy jacket pockets..

    He was given a stern telling off by the manager who promptly put the soiled produce straight back in the freezer.

    Beef with extra added hepatitis.

    Shrinkflation can get to Fuck.

  4. Drinkflation:
    Fosters 4.0% —> 3.7%
    Old Speckled Hen 5.0% —> 4.8%
    Bishop’s Finger 5.4% —> 5.2%

    Cunts.

      • Not many Australians.

        Fosters sold in Europe is brewed by Heineken in Manchester.

    • Chardonnay 13.5% now 10. 2.5 quid dearer.
      I’d get more pissed from the fumes off my nail varnish remover 🤔

    • Odin, you’re letting your namesake down.

      In the course of a Saturday’s normal drinking (12 hours minimum) it would be no problem to sink at least 18 cans. Plus the odd snifter.

      Granted, I feel a bit shit the next day, but I’ve found that drinking gin as soon as I wake up negates this problem.

      PS, don’t drink Budweiser, it’s shite. And gay.

  5. It’s a shame the huge land whale waddling along and blocking the pavement this morning as I tried to ride my bike to work wasn’t suffering from shrinkflation. The fucking fat gluttonous piece of blubber.

  7. I remember as a kid a Yorkie bar would feed a average family of 12.

    You’d have to put the back seats down in my dad’s old estate car and drive it up to the quarry to be broken into edible chunk’s by a bloke on a digger.

    They used to have a warning on the wrapper ” 2 man lift ‘.

    Seen em now?

    Get stuck under your fingernail.
    Need a fuckin magnifying glass to see them.

    • Also you could’ve used the old sized Wagon Wheels on the cart for another day out, Mis. All the family under the Surrey with a Fringe on Top.

      • The Yorkie Bar was used at the Highland Games when they ran out of cabers.

  8. The only way to feel the benefit is for a 2 for 1 offer crops up, but that could take fucking ages.

    • Failing that, you’ll have to go shopping fully dressed as Sherlock Holmes and the magnifying glass will have to suffice.

  9. To be fair, not everything is getting smaller. Some things are getting bigger:
    Linekunt’s ego
    Flabbot’s weight
    Jordan’s cunt

    • And some aspects of shrinkflation are to be celebrated.

      Sasha Johnson’s brain shrinkflation, for example.

      • You’d think, given the amount of high-IQ spunk I’ve blasted through her lubed-up head hole and directly onto her brain that she might’ve woken by now, the bone-idle slubberdegullion.

      • Eeuurrgghh…like I’d shag Jordan or Flabbott.
        I’m not some sort of pẹřvert.

    • As I tell missus Miserable Geordie
      Bigger isn’t always better…

      • It not the size of the boat that makes.it float, its the motion in the ocean baby!!!

        Actually, this is just a lie made up by men with small.dicks to make themselves feel better, and women not wishing to offend.

        Women love big dicks, it’s a scientific fact.

    • Good idea GT.
      They could also use Jordan’s cunt for the next “Jonah and the Whale” making it look more realistic, similar to what must be up there.

      • I knew someone who actually went down on Katie Price. Whilst there he said “My word, this is one massive hole! … My word, this is one massive hole!”. She said that there was no need to repeat himself. He replied, “I didn`t.”

  10. Everything good has shrunk.
    It’s the Gulliver effect.

    Go dig out a old 10p.
    It’s fuckin huge!!
    Like a bin lid.

    Hold a modern sickly , skinny midget 10p next to it.
    If you leave them overnight the old 10p will rape and eat the new one.

    McVities chocolate digestives,
    If it was raining you could all shelter under one.
    Now?
    Size of full stop. .

    • You’re right.
      Everything has shrunk.
      When I were a nipper my dad were double my height.
      Now he’s an inch shorter than me!
      Go figure.
      It’s all relative, I suppose…

      • Prince Charles aka King Chaz is shrinking fast as fook. Find a recent piccie, he’s a foot shorter than he used to be.

        ShrinKing. All his fault.

      • Think yourself lucky Mis. When our kids were in junior school we put the crisps and snacks out of their reach on top of the kitchen cupboards to limit the rate at which they scoffed them. By the time they were in their teens the only person left in the house who couldn’t reach them was me.

  11. I like this nom Harold.
    Well done 👍

    When you aren’t cluttering up the site with gay music and calling other cunters cunts,
    You can be a good lad.

    Treat yourself to a tiny chocolate bar and send me a invoice.

    • Invoice is on the way but due to shrinkflation it’ll be £50 for a ‘fun’ size Mars Bar.
      Doesn’t seem that fun when it’s the size of a school pencil rubber.

      On another point: I was called the c word by another person on here. I hadn’t provoked them and have never had any interactions with them before to my knowledge.
      I know 2 wrongs don’t make a right, but I had expected an admin or someone to step in and reprimand that person.

      I haven’t pressed the hurty words button or run to Mr Grimsdale.
      Not my style.

      I will stand up for myself if I need to though and I have.

      By the way it’s the second time I’ve been called a cunt on here.

      Nowt gay about this song:
      https://youtu.be/H4I_UsnRP0I?t=14

      😃

      • Like a idiot I clicked on it.☹️

        Harold you awful cunt!!!

      • Not to worry, Harold, the same cunter did the same to me.

        I won’t report anybody on this site. I find it amusing, if anything.

    • It was only a few years back when I thew one into the canal to save a drowning child.

  14. It’s not just consumer items though is it?
    What do you get for your council tax contributions, national insurance, or tax in general?
    A lot fucking less nowadays, and it keeps on getting worse.
    At least, if a chocolate bar shrinks, I can stop paying for it.
    We’re getting fucked over constantly.

    • One of the biggest scandals is the proposed hike in our water charges – one water company asking if they can increase it by how much – 90%? They’re bleating about needing money for investment in their infrastructure. They don’t like being investigated for sewage spills and they don’t like to discuss how much dividend they pay to shareholders. It’s not as though it’s costing them a fortune to obtain their basic product, it falls from the fucking sky, they get it for free.

      • Despite refusing point-blank to have a smart meter for electric, I do have one for water and my bill is a very reasonable £24ish a month, worth doing unless you need unmetred.

      • I have to say, Thomas, getting a water meter is one of the best things Younger made me do. This was over 9 years ago.

        My bill went from £56pm to £22, and they refunded me all the overpayment from the beginning of the charging period.

        Even now, it’s a modest £28pm.

      • I won’t have a smart meter fitted until it’s done at gunpoint. There’s only 2 of us and the water meters we have (2) save us around £300 a year.

      • You realise though lads this is why the neighbours avoid approaching too close to you?

  15. Great nom.

    Fucking confectionery bandits. I just buy two as a ‘fuck you’ to the health Nazis, the Net Zero fascists, and socialist wankers. I can afford to keep eating what I like and as much as I like, you autocratic cunts.

    Good afternoon, everyone.

  17. I remember when my old dad used my wagon wheel which cost 3d as a spare wheel for his Morris 1100
    Now look at the size of the cunts, and there are no grips around the edges…

    • I remember when the Wagon Wheels at Maine Road were massive, and the Bovril at Old Trafford was like molten lava even at half time.

  19. Back in the day it was landlords and drug dealers who short measured, now it’s standard practice.

    Wouldn’t be surprised if garages and energy companies fixed fixed their meters to rip us off more.

  20. everything is suffering from shrinkage especially the fucking intellectual capacity of the modern youth, the wrappings the same but the content is sub-par and missing important ingredients, the dopey pansified cunts and that’s just the male ones.

    • Too right Civvydog.

      I was in HMV last week, and two millennial hipster knobheads were looking through the LPs.

      One of them said ‘I’ve heard of Talking Heads, but I’ve never listened to them.’

      And his daft bitch girlfriend said ‘They must be a rip-off of Radiohead. That’s where they get the head bit from.’

      The daft bitch then picked up a copy of Abbey Road, and then said ‘Paul McCartney is the most famous one. He’s the lead singer. Don’t know who the others are, but they’re all still alive’

      I barely hid my laughter. Fucking cunts….

    • Not wrong, there, Civvy.

      Fortunately, the Lass was bought up by me, largely, so she is common sense personified, calls “bullshit” when she smells it, and doesn’t give a shit if someone disagrees that it’s BS.

      I love her to bits. She calls me out if I’m being a cunt!

  21. The famous Quality Street Russian Doll.

    Each Christmas Quality Street tin from the late 60s to now. The size declined every decade.

    And now, they have been totally ruined. A miniscule crappy plastic tub, with the glittery wrappers now replaced by dull paper ones. All the festive charm and magic has been taken out of them.

    • No doubt next year the plastic ‘tin’ will just be full of wrappers, minus any chocolates.

    • They can shrink away to nothing, they’re revolting.
      Roses can go as well, palm oil and sugar.

      Shite.

  22. I nought a Rib Eye Tesco Finest recently. Was cut as thin as a pancake so bloody unusable. I wrote a damning review of the greedy bastards.

    • 30 seconds each side, Et voila!!

      A bacon style steak sandwich.

      I assume it was ridiculously priced?

      • Apart from calling it a ‘wafer thin atrocity ‘, I asked in my review if Tesco had an anti-beef person in charge; they actually published it!

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