Saudi AI Robot

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In recent years with the rapid progression of Artificial Intelligence we have all heard the warnings about such advanced technology with job replacement by robots, bias in algorithms, too much power in too few hands to a Terminator Skynet-style end of the world scenario.

But before all that we have Saudi Arabia’s first AI robot called Mohammed, unveiled at an event in Riyadh and one of the first things he did was inappropriately touch a female reporters arse. Excuses were quickly made of a “technical glitch” and an “accident”. Is this fucker programmed to drive a taxi or pilot a small inflatable dinghy?

The Japs have had these things around for decades and do useful stuff like backflips, make coffee or cater to the depraved needs of the average sexually repressed salaryman living in a Tokyo shoebox who wears at nappy at the weekends God help us if the Afrocunts drag themselves into the 21st century. It would stab the nearest reporter with their pen and demand reparations.

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Metro News

Nominated by: Liberal Liquidator

59 thoughts on “Saudi AI Robot”

  1. Sounds like progress to me.

    I’d have expected him to chuck acid in her face before rayping her and then blowing himself and the room up.

      • Reminds me of the Billy Connolly routine where he talks about how he’d love to watch a sue-iss-ide bombing instructor coaching his students:

        “Now gather round lads, I’m only going to show you this the once”

  2. Nothing untoward here; it`s simply following the Saudi algorithm whereby all women are considered objects & playthings for men.

    Meanwhile the Nigerians have also developed their own AI robot: It`s a blow-up doll powered by 2 AA batteries with anal latex reinforcement.

    • A Muslim Robot?
      Marvelous ☹️
      I hate Robots
      and am hardly enthusiastic about curry smelling cousin shagging brown people.

      It’s like inventing a dog turd that smells of puke
      Or piss flavoured vegan crisps.

      Nowt good about it.

      Does it hoover while carpet kissing?

  3. How realistic is it?
    Does it give off a odour of yesterday’s curry..
    Does it have to kiss the carpet five times a day..
    Can you send mo.² down the benefit office, while mo.¹ shags his cousin/wife/sister.

    Do they do a pint-sized cunt Khan version?

  5. How much better the world would be today if they invented these things hundreds of years ago and programmed them to pick cotton.

  6. I’ll stick with my two female Japanese robots, ta.
    They’ve just had an AI software upgrade and, with their new “emetobox” functionality, they can puke into each other’s mouths to my hearts’ content.
    They can also accept a surprisingly large octopus up their cyborgfannies too. This backfired spectacularly the other day when the inserted octopus somehow leached some of the AI, became sentient, took control of the robot and chased me down the garden brandishing a samurai sword. Took me bloody ages to coax the enraged mollusc out from its hiding place and back into the aquarium so the robots and I could enjoy an evening of sushi and golden showers.

    • Thomas! What the hell is the matter with you?

      An Octopus is a cephalopod. Not a bloody mollusc.

      • Ho ho, oh yes – bollocks! “Thanks” for pointing that out 👍🏾

    • Well as Nick Ross used to say at the end of Crimewatch “Don’t have nightmares!”

      I’m certain I will have nightmares having read that disturbing piece of prose Mr Cunt Engine.

      It’s far more horrifying than anything H.P. Lovecraft could have invented.

  7. On a job yesterday the customer had one of those Alexa’s.

    It didn’t understand me?!!

    It was playing music

    ” Alexa shut the fuck up”
    Ignored me.

    ” Oi Alexa . Knock that shite off”
    Blanked me.

    ” Alexa blow up”
    Blanked.

    Yet it understood my labourer!
    Do owt for him.

    The robot motherfucker😡

    • Were you at JP’s?

      Grass you up for wearing one of his happi jackets when he was out and saying “oh herro”?

      • Jesus LL I’d not be able to wear one of JPs kimonos.

        He’s only little!
        About 7stone wet through.

        That Alexa is a right rude cunt.
        Wouldn’t have owt to do with me.

        But My labourer Kev?
        Flirting with each other.

        Dunno if it’s my accent?
        The racist cunt.

      • Don’t be confusing happi jackets and kimonos Mis, JP gets quite particular about these things.

      • ☹️ I have Japanese traditional leisure wear dyslexia.

        I receive benefits for it.

  8. Presumably if it had been programmed by Donald Trump it would have grabbed her by the cunt.

  10. Before you know it the bloody thing will be buying a football club.

  11. Ai, load of shite.

    Artificial intelligence is in the same class as Harvey Price.

    It’s fuckin useless.

    Dunno what the big fuss is over it?
    Just a gimmick.

    It’ll be like the Rubik’s cube
    Sinclair C5
    Leg warmers
    Toploader videos
    Videos!!

    It’s doomed to fail.

  12. Fucking robot in the header pic looks like Noel Tidybeard Edmonds with some gay head attire.

    Push the fucker into a bonfire. Cunt Or No Cunt.

    • Talking of robots and homosexuality, now that they have designed these Androids, Star Wars could be re-filmed in Saudi Arabia:

      In a galaxy, centuries away…

      C3Pæe-d0: Master Mo, Master Mo, we’re approaching the Death Star.

      Luke GoatFucker: I’m here to save you.

      Princess Leia: Aren’t you a little short to be a Stormgroomer?

      Obi Wanky Goaty: Welcome to the Middle East. You’ll never see a more wretch hive of…

      Hand MoMo: Shoot the Death Cult!!

  13. I suspect that if it had touched the arse of the bloke it would now be a pile of shattered plastic and wires at the bottom of a tall building.
    🏢🤖

  14. It seems quite reasonable to me.

    At least it didn’t shit in her mouth,which is all the “portapotty” rage it seems with our Arab chums.

    Or cut her hands off after banning the sour cunt from driving or going outside in anything other than a black bedsheet.

    The Arabs are cunts and so is A.I.

    A Terminator that only kills ragheads is the only thing that A.I can make that I’m remotely interested in.

    Sand Wøgś?

    Dumb Oven.

    • I love the way the Metro describes the woman as being touched ‘inappropriately’ by the robot.

      It’s fucking machine. Will it now get its robot arm cut off?

  15. Once AI robots are able to compete in hot dog eating contests we will know they are here to stay and maybe one day take over from us. Until they can eat 70 or more hot dogs in 10 minutes they have no chance. I have eaten four hot dogs with mustard at one Danish football match. You may think that was pathetic, but they were quite long and wrapped in bacon.

  16. We have one for our Police & Crime Commissioner.

  17. P00ftes have had Arse Injected thoughts since time and immemorial.

    • Although his hands do look rather like he could wank off Timmy Mallet and Rod Hull simultaneously.

      • It was a midget inside Metal Mickey, Thomas.

        Same with that little arse bandit R2D2.

        All them Hollywood Robots have a little midget locked inside them.

        Cruel I reckon.
        Midgets should be free.
        To roam and frolic in the woods.

      • Go on Cuntalugs, you won’t regret it. Fair heart ne’er won fair midget.

  19. Dick Foxchaser-Fiddler had a blow up sex doll,
    If memory serves.
    Plus there’s a stunning Japanese sex robot resident in our street.
    Coincidence? What are the chances?
    Fuck them.
    Not Fiddler’s sloppy seconds, obviously! 😬
    Evening all. 😊

    • What we need is a nice looking robot that sucks your dick, refuses our offer of money and says “No, no, it was my pleasure, believe me”. I think we’d all be happy with that.

      • I believe there are actual women like this. Not that I’ve ever met one.

  21. Anyway it’s Friday,
    It’s a Bank Holiday weekend👍
    Let’s have a little music!

    I was never a fan of the Pretenders.
    On TV/radio they always play ‘Brass in pocket ” which is rubbish.

    But this is fuckin brilliant!
    Written by Ray Davis of the Kinks
    But this version is better

    https://youtu.be/vWH7oPBnD9s?si=bNql7a_7M7h6zrIO

  28. I thought AI was arificial Insemination, When I used to hang my keks up when sorting out the pigs.
    Times change.

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