It’s always good to see a display of informal yet elegant fashion, so I was highly impressed to see a new standard being set recently in the streets of Majorca’s fine capital city.
Step forward the ripped figure of the man I’ve dubbed ‘Mr Speedos’, recently caught strolling urbanely through Palma’s shopping area clad in, er, a pair of bright green budgie smugglers. Now you might think that the gentleman in question would have augmented this outfit with a trendy pair flip-flops, but no, nothing so mundane or boring for this cutting-edge fashionista. Instead, he’s outrageously gone for contrast and shock value, chosing a pair of short shocks and trainers.
It will not surprise cunters to learn that a race is now on to identify this style icon, with a number of international fashion houses and modelling agencies desperate to sign him up.
Step forward ‘Mr Speedos’; a dazzling future in the world of haute couture awaits.
Nominated by : Ron Knee
They love it
Pretend to be outraged but secretly they love it.
In Spain it’s quite common for people to attend funerals, weddings and appear in court wearing Speedos.
In fact most Spanish judges will attend courr in Speedos.
General Franco regularly wore them with jackboots.
And when the Conquistadors were raiding south America?
Speedos.
It’s their national dress or something.
19
I haven’t got any speedos Mis (sounds a bit like peedo) but I have got some bleached crackers, only had them on a week, I could turn them inside out for the right occasion. Will that do?
2
Look , you can borrow a pair of mine,
But I want them back when you’re finished with them!
Speedos don’t grow on trees
4
I suppose we should be grateful for the fact that he wasn’t wearing stockings and high heels, the twat.
5
When you go abroad you’re an ambassador for your country. I really think there should be a short aptitude test every time you buy an airline ticket.
Good Morning
12
Exactly. Drinking, fighting, shouting abuse at the waiters and leering at women.
Archetypically English.
7
The worst part of this is you just know he is British.
23
Looks Irish ☘️ to me. Green.
4
Or a Muslimist, they’re fond of green too
3
In the airport arrival lounge you will see men stripping down to just a pair of shorts and flip flops before getting on a coach to some horrible resort.
It doesn’t matter what the weather is like.
They are in Spain!
It’s always the fat, tattooed, sweaty bastards that get their shirts off at the first opportunity.
Mrs Cunter complains that it’s never the fit guys.
It’s the same for the scruffy women.
You rarely get to see a slim girl with good tits in her bikini top on the streets.
It will be the fat, ugly ones bursting out of their too tight clothes.
These people don’t even cover up much more in the evenings.
Same shorts and flip flops, but an unbuttoned shirt to go to the restaurant.
¡Gentuza de la mierda!
Some supermarkets hand out old T-shirts to people that think that it’s OK to shop topless.
Other places just fuck them off.
We call them ‘escoria’.
21
We call them fucking slobs.
16
My guess is he’s a Cunter.
Is anyone going to own up?
Anyway, he’s overdressed for St Tropez.
8
What do these catholic fuckers want?
Him to walk around in a wet suit and flippers?
So you can see his maracas when he sits down in a restaurant?
Big deal.
He’s a guest in your country!
Be hospitable. rather than criticism of his swimming trunks.
He’s bringing tourist money into the Spanish economy.
Rather than moan they should serenade him with flamenco guitar and offer him a donkey ride.
This is the reason I don’t go to Spain.
6
I heard its full of dagoes. Dreadful race.
5
Pearl clutching from a nation that tortures bulls and throw donkeys and goats off rooftops..
Throw the cunt off a cathedral Pedro..
18
Well said.
5
The twat will also have a gut on him no doubt and those keks revealing a birth defect arse cleft, are begging for a pair of scissors for the one downward snip to disable the cunt from further embarrassment and hefty fine.
3
He’d get a small fine and a proposal of marriage from the judge.
4
It’s Boris Johnson.
The Cunt.
Good morning.
5
Spain is full of cockneys.
Palma is named after EastEnders star Patsy Palma.
The cuisine is a fusion of traditional Spanish and chimchimanee.
Popular dishes are
Cock sparrer paella
Jellied eel gazpacho
Patatas brava wiv mash
And jamon and chips.
Local restaurant owner Ronnie Rodriguez says
” Fack me! The food is triffic!
All fresh ingredients me old son.
None of that frozen hows ya father.
Me and Shirl love it.!”
11
If it had been the Brits building the Sagrada Familia in Barcelona they would have finished it by now.
A hundred and forty years later and the lazy bastards are still at it. That’s siestas and a civil war for you.
7
It could never have been built here, LL, where every spare builder is busy suffocating what’s left of the green belt beneath shoddy and too close together houses all because nobody wants to live in traditional towns and cities that are full of unwanted and uninvited immigrants. Green and pleasant land turned to shit by successive governments and an electorate that moans incessantly but does fuck all about
9
* about it – always doing that: I need to lay off the bottle until a bit later in the day.
2
I suppose we can’t really talk IE, the nips or the tiddly winks would have built HS2 on time and on budget.
3
Fuck off, if the Brits had been building it they’d still be waiting for planning permission and wondering what they could get for the £8.50 left over from the £300m total budget, most of which they’ve blown on consultants and backhanders, not to mention their own massively inflated salaries.
1
Thanks Mis.
Feeling a bit low this am; this made me smile.
4
Sorry to hear that Ron,
Chin up kid 👍
If I’m feeling a bit blue I come on ISAC, cause offence,
Get in a argument
Make someone cry.
And afterwards I feel much better.
Whistling a dirty
Spring in my step,
It’s a right good tonic.👍😁
6
Ditty.
Phones got a filthy mind
2
@ Mis
A few ailments on my case at the mo. In for an op on Monday to try and sort one out.
Hospitals make me queasy; of course they do great work, but I take the view that to get in, you’ve got to be sick in the first place.
As the missus (bless her) always says, I’m ever the optimist!
4
With you Ron.
I’ve only visited others in hospital.
Never been a inmate myself.
And rarely seen a doctor.
Good luck👍
2
Yes, best wishes Ron. Keep us informed mate.
1
Thanks lads, much appreciated.
1
How come the greater part of humanity’s complete fucking moron genes ended up in the UK? The IQ devoid prick should be clad the same way and sent to Islamabad and kicked off the plane with neither money nor luggage but with a big Star of David tattoo stretching from his arse to where a brain should be. Fuck off, you complete piece of shit.
6
He speaks very highly of you.
5
Thanks for letting me know.
1
The sadness is unrevealed. Sat up in bed in traditional night attire, reading a book with a large embossed title.
1
That picture is a fake. That’s Mersey Square and Mis taking an afternoon stroll.
6
Photoshopped!
3
I mean why? just why?
2
Barney, isn’t it obvious? He’s still pissed from the night before and his missus has hid his clothes in a vain attempt at stopping him going to the offy.
He’s having none of that nonsense.
I speak from experience.
8
When Spanish towns say that they want to attract ‘the right type of tourist’ you can see what they mean.
Morning all.
8
Not really sure what they expected from a English tourist?
A cravat wearing David Niven taking photos of cathedrals?
These olives are simply divine!
Shall we visit the Salvador Dali museum tomorrow?
6
Well the assumption has been made that he is a in the British meeja that Mr Speedos is a Brit (suits a certain narrative I suppose) but nobody really knows.
4
I think he could be a German or Swede, showing off his north european sausage to the Consuelas.
2
The continentals love to object to the filthy toureests that prop up their economy, but they don’t half pander to them with low grade all inclusive hell-hole resorts and Irish pubs serving Guinness 24/7.
And also acting as if they are so much better.
I remember strolling along the promenade of the beach in Barcelona, 11am, a local sat on a bench taking in the morning rays with a six-pack and stark bollock naked. The locals no doubt regarded him as just expressing the liberated spirit of the local culture, rather than being what we refer to in this country as a deranged piss stained tramp.
5
Its Spain. Let the Cunt stay there.
3
Ron,
Why are you following me around and taking snaps?
6
So you’re *gasp* owning up So Long?
Get ready for the calls to roll in from agencies everywhere!
2
I love seeing a man in Speedos. Gets me all juicy.
2
To each his own CM;
I can only say that for me, this is much more likely to get me tap running;
https://www.vogue.co.uk/gallery/salma-hayek-bikini
3
There was a guy who used to wander around Barcelona naked.
Yes, he was a tramp.
Tourists called him The Elephant Man because he had an enormous cock.
He would pose for photos if he was paid.
He was arrested daily but nobody knew his name.
Court fines went unpaid.
He was locked up many times but eventually the police just let him get on with it.
I don’t know if he’s still around.
http://aurelm.com/2009/06/10/the-emperors-new-clothes/
3
A bit of local colour for the tourists.
5
I suspect there is an outstanding arrest warrant from Thailand for this gentlemen of dubious fashion. – Something not quite right
Over 40
Probably German or possibly Dutch
Bald or a suspect tash, its either one or the other
Seen as often as possible in Speedos but not at a swimming pool
If they hit all 4 then definitely one to keep away from children.
0