Busybody Know-It-Alls


Why is it that some people can’t resist sticking their noses into other people’s business, even on the most trivial of matters?

Take this morning for example. I was in our front garden, just about to start removing a large clump of nettles which was threatening to choke out one of the wife’s beloved azaleas. I’d barely begun, when along HE came; Mr Busybody, Mr fucking Know-all, to offer an opinion where none was wanted or welcome.

As he drew alongside me, he stopped, stuck his hands in his pockets, and peered portentously over the low wall which separates our garden from the pavement. After some seconds he opined ‘you know, you should really leave those nettles alone’.

What the fuck? thinks I. ‘My wife thinks they’re intrusive, and wants them dug out’ I replied somewhat tersely.

‘Yes’ says he, ‘but don’t you know that they’re an important part of the ecosystem? They provide food and habitat for butterflies, bees and other insects’.

‘My whole garden is a butterfly and bee friendly environment’ says I, straightening up, ‘but I’ll tell you what. If you’re that bothered, hang about for five minutes while I root them out, and you can take them away with you for replanting’.

‘Er, but I don’t want them’ says he, surprised and now somewhat hesitant.

‘Neither do I’ says I, ‘which is precisely why I’m digging them up and slinging them in the compost, okay?’

At which point a look of intense irritation comes over his face, and with a ‘harrumph’ he stomps off.

Why is that irksome, interfering cunts just can’t resist the urge to stick their oar
in, even when it’s concerning a matter of utter inconsequence involving a complete stranger? His whole demeanour was such that he felt that I should justify myself. For weeding my garden for fuck’s sake.

Fair nettled I was. If I wasn’t a gentleman, I’d have told the cunt to fuck right off.

Nominated by : Ron Knee

95 thoughts on “Busybody Know-It-Alls

  1. Would he be so concerned if a fuck off clump of Japanese Knotweed appeared in his garden? Why can’t some people just follow that old Yorkshire saying “ Hear all see all say nowt” life would be so much easier. Almost forgot “ If you do owt for nowt do it for yourself”

  2. I recognise his face! But out the 81 comments, I can only see one from Black Biscuit. No time when it was posted either. What has happened to this site Admin? They say if it aint broken, then it don’t need fixing! Just like my bank, Google & Ebay, there is always some cunt fucking about with the settings. Well I have had enough!

  3. I have just done my front and back gardens top to bottom. Good exercise and it keeps my hand in. And, if I take my time and don’t go mad, I can still do it.

    All weeds, Japanese dock, thistles, nettles have been completely removed/killed.
    And if any smug cunt came up and told me what to do or how to do it, I’d have put them in the brown bin and all.

  4. fuck me if you want to be in a job where everyone and their mother knows more than you do, shoe horses, from the vet to the fucking Feedman they all got something to say. Horse that’s a dirty bastard to shoe and would kick the skimps off a blackbirds back you have reservations about getting under it your a coward, fucking thing not going right blame the farrier. The horse world is full to overflowing with know alls who are fucking clueless about my job but know more than we do. The World, European and British champion Farrier is an Englishman and I guarantee some wet behind the ears get will be telling him what to do at some point this year.

    • Horse people are never short of opinions and the majority of them (owners or groupees) have their heads embedded in their arses.

  5. Ron
    You could have structured this cunting and used English better. I am always available for advice.

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