Fat Bottomed Girls of the UK

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To quote Jane Austen, ‘it is a truth universally acknowledged that the country’s going to the fucking dogs’. She’s not wrong. On any index of anything, from health care to infrastructure to education, we’re way down the table.

But just when you think that things couldn’t possibly get any worse, they promptly do. Research has just been published showing which countries of the world have the women with the fattest arses;

Daily Mail

I’m ashamed, nay devastated, to see that the UK doesn’t even make the top fifteen.
Fucking hell, can we not be world leaders in ANYTHING these days other than level of national debt per capita and the import of fighting age males from everywhere under the sun?

Ladies of the UK, you have let the nation down. Hangs your heads in shame. Doomed ah tell ye, we’re all doomed.

Nominated by: Ron Knee

68 thoughts on “Fat Bottomed Girls of the UK”

  1. When I look at the Abbopotomous or Lady Fatarse, Emily Thornberry-Nugee, I am instantly reminded of an Austin A40 Somerset or Standard Vanguard Mk 1. Their arses were modelled on those wonderful vehicles, but sadly, unlike the Austin and Standard, they don’t have so much power under the bonnets.

  2. I wonder if it’s because, from what I’ve seen lately, women in the UK either have no arse because they’re men, or their arses is so enormous, they are actually classed as a slow-moving land mass, and not actually of human origin?

  5. You must remember the women’s bustle dress from the 19th century? It was a false padded arse, probably brought over from Africa when the white explorers rattled the dark women from behind and thought it a good idea to put their cuppa whilst doing so.

  6. Let’s not forget that, for example, whilst Brazilian birds do indeed have big arses (we employ one with a typical beaner arse), they’re stickey-outey and look utterly gropeable and fantastic, whereas British birds’ big arses are square and flat and look like two lumpy sacks of flour, the stupid flabby old bags.
    Yet they still think they’re something special, UK birds.
    Arrogant lardos.

    • Fucking lycra can’t tame that kind of immensity.
      Something more substantial is needed, perhaps fashioned from steel by messrs Harland and Wolff.

  10. They obviously didn’t speak to my ex-wife in the course of compiling this survey. Her arse cheeks have got separate postcodes.

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    • Super effort again Beau. You must arrange a vernissage.

      The African Banksey. Paris, New York, Agbogbloshie.

      • I`m not an MP, MCC, so a private viewing of my lady garden & associated nether-shrubbery would not be possible.

    • The Canadian as thrown it’s toys out of the pram, the Pakistani as upset it.
      Is this jockland we are talking about?

    • Can’t blame him really.
      Greens’ co-leader – WHITE
      Greens’ other co-leader – WHITE
      All other Green MSPs – WHITE

    • Hopefully he’ll be on the next flying-carpet to Gaza soon. Faux Jock useless oxygen thief.

  14. Latina birds may have big hips but that doesn’t necessary mean they carry a gunt, unlike about a third of the women around the South coast.
    They’re either fucking fat, always pregnant, or bòth.

  15. nout worse than a fat arse especially if its owner is wearing skin tight leggings as is the wont of one old Bullock I oft see in local supermarket, they are so tight you can see through the things and even worse it wears a thong which if you look carefully disappears into her arse like a cheese wire through a suet pudding, probably has the same effect as a fillet string on the back of a horses rug under its tail , a shit spreader bet when she takes off her thong it looks like a tramps used it for flossing. Good thing about following it round shop is it stops you buying crap scoff. Summer she’s definitely good to take to a barbecue, keeps flies off your grub fecking sweaty old minge, confused one blind bloke in shop once as he thought they’d opened a new wet fish counter.

  16. Whoever wrote the list on the nom is a fucking cunt.

    Brazil doesn’t even register.
    So why is the operation called a Brazilian Butt Lift?

    Japan at number 10!

    Fuck off.
    The only zipper heads with nice arses are interbred with something else.
    Your normal Japess has fuck all arse.

    I suppose that there are always exceptions but try finding a Colombian girl who hasn’t got a magnificent arse.

    I am somewhat of an expert on this subject.

    • What surprises me about these articles is that , despite working in a busy city centre and having been around for some time, I’ve never been asked for information for surveys like this, but all these valuable pieces of research keep appearing in the media, so somebody must be being asked.. Unless of course there was some invitation published somewhere that you could respond to. I will say it beats hearing about Gaza all the fucking time, but it does strike me that some already fat-arsed cunts will take it as a challenge they need to rise to.

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