Do androids dream of electric sheep, and do vehicles get lonely
This is a personal cunting, but I imagine they are a fair few on this wonderful site that will agree with me..
Whenever I use a car park I always find a spot devoid of vehicles, doesn’t matter to me if its a extra 100 yards to the shops..
Over the years I have had various cars banged by inconsiderate cunts opening their doors.. even a few when I’m in the vehicle, and then calling out the cunts to apologise..
So why is it when you come back to the empty car park there is always car parked next to you.
I know cars nowadays are technical marvels, but have they become sentient?
Probably not.. just driven by arsehole’s..
No link but some YouTube fun..
Nominated by: Barry zuckercunt
Never ceases to amaze me how many of these badly parking/ driving cunts are in Audi, s, seems to me 7 out of 10 of these fucks drive the 4 rings because 1 ring doesn’t do them justice…
Not all Aring drivers are cunts, but the cunt ratio is strong in this brand…
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Audi’s are the new disability cars.
Everyone who drives one appears to be a mitmot
No indication
Sat at green lights daydreaming
Swerving into other lanes
If joey Deacon drove?
A Audi.
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Only ring Audi drivers like is the bumholia type, they can get to fuck , morning all
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Arsehole
Usually
Driving
Inside
That is all 🙂
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Been there, suffered that, Baz. I’m at a loss to explain why, are they lonely?
Anyways, a quick boot in the rear wing alleviates frustration and is also always a worthy consideration against any mouth breather who approaches too close, they just can’t help themselves. Cunts.
Where’s Kung Flu 2 when you need it ?
9
Cunts who take up 2 spaces wherever they park.
Why do they do it?
There’s a horrible rancid tart who lives near me who does this on an almost daily basis.
Doesn’t even bother to check, just leaves her car, often at almost 45 degrees taking up 2 or 3 spaces.
Ignorant cunts like this should be flame throwered.
Good Morning
19
Not only parking.
Sit on an empty beach – a fucking loud family of shrieking brats and their cunt parents will rock up next to you.
Sit in an empty train carriage – a crisp eating cunt wil sit near you.
Sit in an empty cafe/pub – some cunt will sit close by.
No, not just car parks infested by these ‘lonely’ cunts.
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I find that masturbating whilst sitting on a train will generally stop people sitting next to you. Give it a go next time.
20
Done that, especially with a big grin, didn’t deter them.
One cheeky cunt said; “Looks like a penis but only smaller” 😃
13
Never a fit bird sitting next to you doing those nauseating things.
The not to get into trouble wank. Pretend to do it under a coat, draped across the toilet area.
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You’re a cunt magnet.
If you’re not up to wanking on public transport a good series of hazardous farts does the job.
6
I like to go to the flicks in the afternoon, as generally it’s much less busy. One more than one occasion the wife and I have been alone in the cinema, then with two minutes to the start, some fat cunt with a bucket of popcorn and a gallon of coke has plonked themself down immediately in front of us, when they’ve had every other seat bar two to choose from.
It’s a law of the universe; as immutable as the laws of thermodynamics.
7
I have experienced this also Ron – and I always seem to get someone with a head like Frank Sidebottom sitting in front of me in the cinema or theatre. You never see these cunts any other time so they must be bred especially for that purpose.
I also get fed up of being asked to move for people when the cinema is nearly empty – the last time this happened, the cunts were up and down to the toilet as well, stepping on my feet and my friends feet on the way. I lost my temper and said, if you are fucking incontinent, you should sit on the end.
2
That happened exactly for me. Empty theatre, I’m sat in my booked seat and the guy rocks up and sits next to me with his bucket of popcorn. I was so incensed I left through an emergency door which slammed shut behind me leaving stranded in a locked carpark at the back of the building. I had to beg assistance from Nando’s next door who let me out. Following that, I decided to build my own cinema. I converted the shed, fitted black out blinds, second hand furniture from Ebay, 13.1 Dolby Atmos speakers and a 100″ screen. My one and only grandchild told me ” I can’t wait Grandad, I’ve asked all my friends, and guess what? we’ve got Popcorn!
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My phone won’t let me type in blue but
youparklikeacunt.com is worth a Captain, some astounding cuntishness to be seen. Photo contributions are also welcome.
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Couldn’t help but laugh at this nom, every time the same happens to me. I could park in the middle of a field and some knobhead would rock up right next to you..
Strange though this never happened when I drove a really beat up land rover with girders for bumpers….
https://images.app.goo.gl/RiP9GPcBiU7ZVLGv8
7
People probably park next to someone who are on a lonely planet to feel safe, not realising it could be the psychopath, like a spider luring a fly.
6
If Ethel attempts to park next to you, be afraid, be very afraid.
Off topic for a mo…. I notice that there were some very scurrilous comments yesterday evening, regarding my relationship with HMRC.
I had this problem with ‘ Dirty Dick ‘ Fiddler, a couple of years ago. It was he who mockingly christened our leisure vehicle a ‘ luxury motorhome ‘ and suggested it had been obtained with ill gotten gains.
The cunt phoned HMRC from the phone box where he procures cheap and nasty call girls from and ratted me out. Luckily, one of the local urchins , in my employ as a lookout, managed to inform me of their impending arrival and I got the hell out of Dodge, just in time.
It would seem that we now have another rat in the woodpile.
You know who you are……
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C3xU0fnjUcg
I’m on to you
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It definitely wasn’t MNC, he was speaking to the HRMC on a different matter and your name just happened to pop up in conversation.
He’s signed a statement so it must be true!
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So…. it was MNC ‘ey ?
Thanks for that Sixdog.
Get you a case of beer for that one.
I’ll be round the Stockport area with me spray can, after dark.
Spreading the word.
Lol
9
There’s rules…..
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HDLgnP9piwQ
5
People are just inconsiderate cunts. Many should visit Terry’s reeducation oven.
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You probably know me by now, whose never driven a car, let alone owned one. There’s a new breed of noisy bastards who have souped up ones to let you know more of their character, being short in stature, loud voice and a tiny cock. I only encounter them when cycling, but mostly outside supermarkets when waiting for a taxi, adding them to the above list of being unable to read the TAXIS ONLY sign.
6
It’s definitely fucking weird. It’s like being in a pub toilet, pissing at an end urinal in a line of 6 urinals and some weird cunt comes and stands right next to you and whips out his dick to piss.
Most Human communication is non verbal and in the case of the urinal example, it’s obviously some kind of intimidation tactic… not sure what the crack is with this lonely, insecure parking though.
7
I recommend pissing in the sink. The chances of anyone rocking up to piss in the adjoining sink are minimal.
Disclaimer: Some Chinks tend to shite in the sink.
Always wash yer hands.
10
Or stand on the bog seat and squat consequently pissing all over the floor, as do the rug pilots.
10
You’ve reminded me after having an electric fan shit, I try getting the rest of it down the pan with a belated piss.
7
Or in a bank of three empty urinals, some cunt uses the middle one!🙄
6
Yeah that one really grips my shit! Seems obviously deliberate to me.
1
Supermarket drivers come in three cuntish flavours when it comes to empty carparks:-
1. choose to park right next to/behind yours. So close in fact you can’t open your door/boot.
2. park in the disabled bay 5″ away from the supermarket doors, even though they’re not visibly disabled (challenge them and they’ll say they have MHI. So they have the mental capacity to drive x number of miles in busy traffic, but feel the need to park in the DB because they can’t walk an extra few feet because of MHI!)
3. park in the supermarket’s garage next to a petrol pump. Not to buy any petrol, but to spend half an hour in the mini-shop.
3.
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Humans are cunts.
Fuck em, fuck em all.
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My (involuntary) verbosity truly humbled in fewer than ten words.
Well said, HtB…
In Greek, it wouldnt look out of place on a coat of arms.
Oi ánthropoi eínai mouní.
Gámisé tous, gámasé tous ólous…
🫡
0
I had this conversation regarding cunt parking with a work colleague a few years back.
I park right at the back of the car park where there are a sea of empty spaces to prevent some thick, inconsiderate cunts from putting a Tesco kiss in my door.
He does the same with his nut and bolt restoration MK1 E type. His pride and joy.
To his amazement, some chav bint pulled up next to him and immediately smacked her door into his, leaving what looked more like a crease than a dent.
When reprimanded for said cuntish behaviour, the filthy chavster delightedly informed him that “It doesn’t matter, because your car is really old and mine’s brand new”.
I don’t think she was quite ready for the repair bill when her insurance company refused to cover it. Probably cost more than her shit box Corsa was worth.
5
As a lover of all things old – music, art, toys, cars, architecture etc…. this really pisses me off.
That’s the problem with so many of today’s philistines (often very young) – they don’t realise that the value of a thing isn’t derived from it’s monetary cost to you as the purchaser; but from the scarcity of that item and it’s ability to endure through time.
Just because a thing which is new today often loses it’s value (and long-term usefulness) as soon as you buy it, that doesn’t mean that it’s value will necessarily continue in that direction.
That silly bint probably assumed that because it’s old and doesn’t have a catalytic converter, LED headlights or power steering that it must be worthless… not realising that things which have less complex parts have less points of failure and are easier to maintain long-term.
A lot of old, British cars are no longer with us due to being made of iron or poor, primitive steel so rusted away long ago. The fact that there are still some of those old cars being driven today is a testament to the love people have for preserving such cars from anything prior to 1995.
I wonder how many modern electric or hybrid electric cars will still be around in 30, 40 or 50 years from now… not fucking many I would imagine.
5
Love the old Mark II Jag. The shape, the era it came from. Don’t make them like that anymore unfortunately. Is it me or are cars becoming increasingly uglier especially the new electric cars? They look like something you’d drive to the shops in on Mars,
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