Running on Escalators

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This has annoyed me for fucking years but today I experienced it five times in just over an hour, in Cardiff city centre.

It must be unimaginable to some cunts that someone else has been traipsing around for hours and might welcome the respite of a few seconds whilst being transported up a floor.

They must get to their all-important assignation or appointment a whole 5 seconds earlier than they would have done by staying still on the thing. Crisis averted.

The last cunt bashed into me and didn’t apologise, I asked him why he did not use the stairs that were nearby, I was told to mind my own business. This cunt was wearing a vest and shorts as well, so possibly using the thing as exercise equipment.

Any cunt walking or running on an escalator should be fucking electrocuted at the other end.

Nominated by: Mary Hinge

56 thoughts on “Running on Escalators”

  2. I’m afraid that I can’t agree entirety with this cunting. Running, no that’s inconsiderate. Here people stand on the left and walk on the right. If a cunt is blocking the right hand side and causing me to miss my bus or train connection I’ll say to them it’s a convenience not a fucking ride. FOB’s that have no concept or care for Northern European manners are the worst for this.

  3. Might I suggest running on escalators with scissors.
    What could possibly go wrong..

    Smack the stop button when they are in mid stride, should result in some skinned shins..

  4. Escalator hoggers, are cunts as well.

    These are the same as you see blocking supermarket aisles or pavements. It’s either a family of 4+ with buggies and/or prams; or friends meeting up and chatting while standing right across the width of the escalator with their feral kids being utter cunts in tow.

    • Entirely agree. I’m so fucked off with these cunts that I don’t go out anymore as they block the pavement too.

  5. Totally endorse this Cunting. Escalators are for older people who need a helping hand getting up a flight of stairs. Cunts the run walk and push past should be kicked back down and then kicked a bit more just to feel the pain of an older arthritic person.

      • Was great as a teen to let a wet fart off at the bottom and watch it be shared all the way to the top. If i tried it now id probably follow through.

    • Totally agree. Anybody under the age of retirement should be banned from using escalators, particularly the cunting spackies.

  6. I use the mechanical advantage of the escalators in tube stations to get the hell out as quickly as possible.

    Particularly when I have just seen a Joe Daki with a rucksack within 10 meters of me.

  7. It’s the eco-loons that are behind all this running up and down escalators tomfoolery. They argue that the less time a cunt spends on an escalator, the less electricity the escalator uses, thus cutting down its carbon footprint.

  8. Once for work had to go from victoria to Euston station,
    There was me , a Geordie lad and a woman from Stockport who’d never used the underground.

    She didn’t know you stood to the right and that people in a rush would jog past you on the left.

    This business man who was in a rush and every second counted,
    What with him being so important,
    Banged into her .

    ” Hey you you cunt!
    Go that again and I’ll fuckin batter you you knob head!”

    The bloke looked terrified 😂
    Whole escalator turned to look.

    I explained to her you stand to the side

    ” I don’t give a fuck!
    He does that again he’s fuckin dead!”

    Still at top volume 😁hehe

    Mr VIP looked traumatised

  11. There are similar design faults on Supermarket checkout belts, even though not dangerous. But customers are partly to blame for cramming items to the limit on both sides of the belt.

  12. Tortoise and the heir incidents can be funny, when someone running past nudged me, goes arse over tit and I’ve nonchalantly stepped over them, can be a triumph.

  13. The only advantage with steep escalators is being able to position oneself a little further down in order to peek up a woman’s short skirt further up!

    This advice came from Mr Cunt Engine’s latest book “101 Sordid P3rversions for Dummies” (page 24, paragraphs 3 – 6)

  15. A nice, well observed bit of cunting this.

    Escalator bargers are twats; this is one of those many little annoyances that make life less pleasant for everyone else.

    Morning all.

    • Well Ron, I don’t think you would mind if it was Salma Hayek taking a jog up the escalator, with you at the top just happened to be tying your shoelace.

      I don’t think any of us would mind tbf.

  16. Breaking news, the Begum Bitch has lost its appeal..

    At last, a bit of backbone has been shown….👍

  17. Digression. Just spotted, fans of the Toon twats are having to travel down to London for an 8pm kickoff with the Arse. Couldn’t they have made it later still, then all the consumed booze on a Saturday night will cause more mayhem than normal.

  18. I will admit I have run the wrong way up one once, just to see if I could do it. Not when people were on there though.

    • Did you run up the down or run up the up? I ran up the up once in my youth and ended up further down than when I started.

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