The Bullshit that is New Year’s Eve Night

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I no longer bother staying up for Big Ben (is that a sexist term now?) to strike midnight and to welcome in another New Year. It’s only another bloody day anyway, plus I can’t stand all those smug arseholes on TV and their false bonhomie – especially when they wheel out that greasy little cunt, Jools fuckin Holland.

Quite often you’ll see TV cameras pointing at crowds in central London and along the Thames waiting for the 12 minute firework display (so much for the environment and the huge cost, eh, SuckDick, you two faced cock sucker!) Then you have all the “Happy New Year and Peace on Earth” phoney shite, while in the same breath cunts are shouting “Kill the Jews”, “Black Lives Matter”, “We love immigrants”, “Freeze to death and Save the Planet!”

There’s loads of singing and dancing, but then come 1am and its all forgotten about as stark reality returns and we’re back with the same old shite.

I suppose the only good thing about welcoming in a new year is that you’re a little bit closer to Death.And the way this country is going down the pan the new years can’t come round soon enough!

Have a wank New Year and I hope millipedes crawl up your arseholes and infest your lower intestines!

Bah humbug.

Nominated by: Technocunt

111 thoughts on “The Bullshit that is New Year’s Eve Night”

  1. Happy new year my fellow cunters, off to get smashed up on cheap alcohol from my local corner shop.

    • My local corner shop got busted by Immigration Enforcement.

      I was so upset I told Nihal Teriaki Arthanayake all about it.

  2. A big thank you to Admin for keeping the show on the road for another year. Please keep up the good work!

    Happy New Year to all.

  3. Big Ben will be renamed Big Bender and its bongs will somehow now sound camper than John Inman and Julian Clary combined.
    Well, this New Year’s Eve looks even damper and more miserable than usual, so no fucker’ll be out celebrating.
    As a country, we have our new years’ resolutions set in stone:
    More immọs
    More tax
    More overcrowding
    Worse local services
    Worse roads
    Worse NHS
    Everyone more negative and depressed than ever.
    Right, fuck this, I’m off to take loads of magic mushrooms so it won’t matter about this dimension…where I’m visiting is full of colour and wonder!
    Crappy New Year, my friends!

    • Hopefully not a worse NHS. I need an operation on my neck. Given my local trust hospitals calamitous communications, record-keeping and data management (not the GP surgery as they are pretty good) I might see if the butcher can fit me in between his hogs.

      • Rishi Sunak needs an operation carried out on his neck too…to be performed with a guillotine.

      • Hope you enjoy your trip to end/beginning of the cuz-mose Thomas.

        I’ve been advised by several people who know me not to take hallucinogens because my brain is already ‘peculiar’.

  4. I’m with you Techno, but the missus is the opposite. And as I’m on antibiotics I can’t even hit the booze this year.

    • I’ve always drank when taking antibiotics and it was fine. Although they suggest avoiding alcohol there are, if I remember correctly, only a couple that tell you outright not to drink alcohol.

      • I have looked it up and I’m fine with this particular antibiotic. Booze away! Happy New Year everyone

  5. Does London still have new year celebrations?

    Surely that’s racist,sexist or homophopic.

    I would of thought the smelly brown goblin would of cancelled them and given the money to gaza.

    New years eve a chance to charge you to go somewhere that’s free any other time of year.

    • Last New Years celebrations in London I saw had a Black Lives Matter firework display.

      I expect tonight’s will have a LGBTQ theme. With bondage gear phags and trannie freaks parading their deviancy in front of kids.

      A total disgrace as usual.

    • of course. The New Year’s celebrations are the chance for the Mayor , the Metropolis and the BBC to spread their Globohomo Message to the grubby proles.

      Is it an accident ‘DEI’ (Diversity, Equity, Inclusion) is Latin for ‘of God’ or ‘gods’?

  6. Anyone have John Pilger n the dead pool?

    A sad day, one of the few journalists who spoke the truth and common sense.
    RIP

  7. From The Colonies enjoy a night of illegal fireworks, scared pets, and amateur drunks behind the steering wheel.
    2024 is an election year and things will get interesting one way or another.
    I hope to hear less about Taylor fucking Swift next year. Goddammit I’m tired of the media obsession with her!
    Part of me hopes Joe Biteme will croak, Kuntmala Harris gets sworn in and we finally go under for the unlimate reality check.
    Best to all of you and your loved ones.
    Love,
    The Curtains

    • Taylor Swift and her ilk are one of many reasons i’ve stopped watching TV and listening to the radio. The media would increasingly rather publicise her and the latest Marvel dross, or on how Doctor Who is more diverse than ever, than what is happening.

  8. Not arsed about it in the slightest but it’s a great excuse (should a fellow be in need of one) to neck a fine selection of refreshments.

    What a load of cunts are doing on TV and elsewhere means sweet FA.

    Let’s keep up the good work in an increasingly bizarre world.

    Good Health!

    • I don’t mind it either apart from that infuriating Jules Holland Hootananny programme that the other half always wants on, even though the acts on it are a mixture of people well past their prime, box tickers and miscellaneous world music weirdoes. I’m sure I have ranted on here about this before, but the worst bit is that dullard cunt who goes around the studio with a fucking clock stuck on his head.

  9. And local New Years Eve nights are also shite.
    A pub or club you go in all year, every year charges you a tenner to get in.
    ‘But… But it’s New Years Eve!’ So what? A tenner just for that? Sod off.

    Then, hordes of scum and parasites who never go in the place take the whole place over and regulars are pushed out of their usual seats. And these riff raff are as noisy and as oafish as possible. Cunts shouting ‘Sing Wet Wet Wet’ all bloody night and leaving chicken drumstick bones and all sorts of shit all over the tables. Vermin.

    And a so-called ‘DJ’ with no turntables, no disco lights or even CDs. A fucking laptop, which – of course – crashes and there’s no music.

    Taxis home…. A Daki driver nightmare. And a total and utter rip off.

    Only good thing is getting a good New Year kiss off the barmaid or landlady you’ve always fancied. That’s always a good bit.

    • When I have been out for New years eve, it’s never been that shite although it is for many. All in my twenties though, in city centres, bars and big night clubs rammed with fanny, or a house party on a mate’s family farm, going for a walk in the woods in the freezing early hours, out of your skull. In my 30s it was usually a pretty tame but pleasant meal with friends and some fanny, although a party at a mate’s flat for 2015 got a bit mental.
      No drumsticks or vol-au-vents in sight, or some bloke with his laptop and clapped-out pub speakers.

      Since 2018 i’ve not gone out for NYE. Everyone has kids and it’s usually shit in the pubs.

    • One of our village boozers has that garyokey on tonight which is generally pretty awful but will be made worse by the fact that it attracts the pie keys from the local (permanent) encampment. They will get hopelessly pissed and sing maudlin shite over and over, whilst their obnoxious cunt offspring run riot all over the pub – and outside.You hardly ever see the feckers the rest of the year. Luckily an alternative boozing emporium is available.

  10. And the ritual shitfest that is Jools Holland’s Cuntenanny.

    Recorded in November 2023 at around 3pm, this fakery really is the pits. I also know for certain what and who will be on it….

    Remnants of Squeeze and Chas & Dave session men in the Jools Holland R&B pub band.

    Some relic from the Sixties. Croaking out ‘It’s Not Unusual’ or ‘Handbags and Gladrags.’

    Ruby Turner/Beverley Knight (same fucking thing).

    Re-formed Third Division Britpop act. Shed 7. Menswear, Elastica. Some shite like that.

    Some African ‘World Music’ bollocks that nobody likes or listens to ever.

    Numerous BBC royalty and celebrity cunts on freebies and talking shit. I expect French and Saunders, Amanda Abbington, Richard Osman, Ade Edmondson, David Tennant and Ncunti Gayblack amongst other cunts.

    Rowland fucking Rivron, again….

    Same old same fucking old.

    • I watched it once, feels about 50 years ago, never again. I go bed at 9pm and hope to get a couple of hours before the fucking rockets start and often carry on till 2 or even 3am.

    • If alone I usually have a drink or two, order a takeaway and watch a film, drink, watch another film, drink, go to bed. Get about 4-5 texts around 11.55pm. Reply to two.

      I cannot stand NYE TV. It’s always the same.

  11. You forgot to mention that it`s also a leap year, Techno.
    So that`s an extra day`s graft with no extra pay.
    Fortunately, since migrating to the UK, I don`t work; I just suck & squeeze every morsel of benefit out of the state whilst enriching it with my diversity & non-integration. God, I love this cuntry!

  13. I’m thinking whether to watch the fireworks display through my bedroom window, or get a better view from my dormer window, which means having to mount another flight of stairs to see the pier fulll of people and ships sailing by. I’ll let you know later. If its pissing down like it was earlier, most possibly. I like seeing people getting piss wet through.

    • I fuckin hate New years and plan to spend it moaning, tutting and wishing Ill health on people.

      I hope the burns wards are full with fireworks spastics
      And stomach pumps for the rest.

      I don’t want a happy new year
      I want the rise of the new Reich.
      And the End of multiculturalism.

      That and a bit of quiet .

  14. I’m DJing with 3 mates up the function room at the local football club if you fancy it? Sold out but sure I could get a few of you in if I have a word? 1960s Mod classics, Motown, 70s youth club sounds, 2Tone, Northern Soul… Any takers? Buffet too and a decent bar 🍺

  15. The unemployed cunt up the street will let off his usual display grade munitions. which will be repeated every fucking hour till about 3 in the morning. He and his drunken cretinous inbred brood will stagger up and down the street wishing everyone a happy new year through a fucking megaphone FFS, only to get told to shut the fuck up and fuck off by those who have just got their little ones to sleep. The whole tribe need gassing. The utter cunts.

  16. Working in the morning, dealing with the aresholes that aren’t drunk but just feel really ill and ‘I think they need hospital so just do your job’.

    The feckless, selfish timewasting cunts that should be shot.

  17. The whole thing is a load of wank.
    The BBC with headlines such as ‘Sydney welcomes new year with firework display’, same as every fucking New Year’s Eve since I can remember. Hardly fucking news is it?
    The New Years honours list populated by the most undeserving cunts imaginable.
    Sob stories of vacuous cretins crying at airports, train stations and ports because bad weather has fucked up their stupidly last minute travel plans.
    And it will all be repeated on this very day next year and beyond.

    • I’m more likely to enjoy the 8-9th miniature savoury egg of the night, sadly.

      .. Unless you have Jasmine Harman’s number of course, in which case I’ll allow her to have the last savoury egg.

  22. Restaurants have been fully booked for tonight since last month.

    Most will be serving shite, badly prepared food at inflated prices.

    Cava being sold as Champagne.

    Music being played in places where it usually isn’t.
    People getting up to dance who really shouldn’t.
    Kids crying as they are up too late.

    At midnight there will be fireworks which will scare the dogs and have them barking.

    12 grapes to be eaten at each strike of the clock.
    A tradition, but foreigners usually forget to peel them first so end up coughing half of them up.

    Standing on just your right leg exactly on midnight.
    Another tradition, start the New Year on the right foot.

    ¡A la mierda con este!

    Feliz Año.

  23. Sis has been for a visit today, as she does most Sunday mornings.

    Anyway, as she was leaving, she decided to tell me that she was very hurt that I didn’t tell her we (me, Younger, Youngers hubby and her) wouldn’t be going out for Boxing Day tea, as we’ve done for the last three years.

    Now why the fuck I should have told her something wasn’t going to happen is a mystery to me, especially as it’s Younger that organises it. Anyway, she’s so hurt that she isn’t going to visit for a few weeks while she “gets her head round it”

    So that’s a first class result for me, that I don’t have to give up my Sunday mornings to accommodate the miserable twat.

    A Happy New Year for ( and from) me.

    • Just after 5:30 pm here, but very half hearted.

      Last year, it was like Armagedon, World War 3 and Invasion of the Space Aliens rolled into one from 4pm until 2am+.

      I had to sleep downstairs with the dog, he was so scared, so not my most favourite night of the year, no siree!

      • I used to love fireworks, still do. But I would love for animals not to be petrified several times a year. If people want explosions, perhaps they should let the illegal suntanned cunts in London provide some via an apocalyptic display on the Houses of Parliament. I can’t say I’d shed any tears,

  25. Been out for the meal. Pretty good apart from mother in law being with us. Settle down now. Watch some recorded stuff and a few pints of home brew – Grandma’s Gusset which is particularly aromatic treat.
    Regards and thanks to Admin, wanking furiously over Ann Widdecombe while keeping us cunts in order.
    Happy new year.

    • Ah, the MIL.

      Either such good fun, you find yourself fantasising how she looks in a bikini, or “Les Dawson, you weren’t wrong”

  26. Good nom to end another year of total fuckwittery.

    When I was a youngster I used to think that progress was the only way of the world.It followed that the New Year would be one of advancement and achievement to our ever greater benefit. What a deluded young cunt I was. Where are the bargain flights to Mars? Where is the overhead railway like in “Logan’s Run”? Where are the holidays in Atlantis?

    If you had asked the founders of modern philosophy how things would be in 2024, they would probably have thought that we would have it all worked out by now. Life, the universe, and all that. We have been fucking robbed.

  28. The dirty fucking shit cunts have been letting off the fucking ordinance since 4.30 round here, if you’ve got to do it wait till fucking midnight and do it all together dont make life intolerable for 6 hours just to hear your firefuckingworks on their own cos they’ve cost you a weeks wages, should have gone to Gaza for the evening probably quieter. Happy new year to you all.

  29. I’m extremely happy to say that it’s ( rain) absolutely hammering it down here, in sunny Sheffield.

    It’s so loud, I can hear it despite the double glazing.

    Thank you, Lord. Although it won’t deter the most obnoxious turds, come midnight they’ll be out.

    I pray and pray for some cunt to misread the instructions and blow his house up.

  30. Re my acquaintance parking his tank outside Wickes in yesterday’s nom, we visited local Wickes today to be greeted at the fucking door with a rainbow sticker proclaiming that Wickes is a proud supporter of ” diversity, inclusion and some other trendy bollocks ”
    Fucking nearly dragged Mrs Civvydog out the place but the look on her face as I started ranting made me think twice.

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