Johnny Depp [3]


I can’t stand this little thespian.
He’s just been over for Shane McGowans funeral.

Depp is drawn to what he considers ” counter cultural heroes”.

Drink and drugs and being wild.

That’s fine, ..when your a young man.
He’s free falling towards his 60s.

And he gets it all wrong!
He sees McGowan as a freedom fighting Irish hard drinking rocker.

I see him as a posh school going Londoner with alcoholism.

He sees Hunter Thompson as a drug taking freewheeling Gonzo journalist.

I saw him as a fuckin pussy and fake who liked waving guns around but sobbed like a tart when the Hell’s Angels gave him a slap.

Johnny sees Keith Richards as a drugged up rock god.

I see him as a fuckin rich old skellington and a smackhead.

Johnny would love to be a wild rocker, to be a legitimate wildman.
But gets beaten up by his girlfriend.

Stick to flogging aftershave you fuckin fraud.

Daily Mail

Nominated by : Miserable northern cunt

58 thoughts on “Johnny Depp [3]

  1. Aye and while you at it have one of your butlers clean that mad bitches shit out your bed.

    This cunt doesn’t know how many houses he owns,overpaid cunt that he is.

    Great nom about a gigantic Cunt.

  2. Maybe he is researching a role to play McGowan..

    I’m happy to help with the authenticity by taking a lump hammer to Johnny’s teeth.
    No charge.

  3. Senator Barnaby Joyce should’ve had you put down and not threatened to do the same to your unquarantined dogs. As uncle Tez said wash your sheets you grubby cunt.

  4. Ho ho, splendid nom, MNC!
    I did quite like the younger Depp; at least he tried a whole host of different roles (before just treading water being Jack Sparrow and Tim Burton’s predictable go-to).
    And he got to shag Amber Heard, the lucky bastard.
    If I could shag Amber Heard and Vanessa Paradis whilst wearing a fully-eorking Edward Scissorhands costume, this is what they’d both look like after three minutes of blade sex:
    https://images.app.goo.gl/qt8ytnKuKCVtJ7b3A

  5. Everyone lives in their own little world and I don’t want to know what other people get up to. Especially nonentities who are normally talked about on here. Just thought I’d like to jog your memory on the situation. Soon hear about the cunters on here, who have more interesting things to say about themselves.

  6. Everyone lives in their own little world and I don’t want to know what other people get up to. Especially nonentities who are normally talked about on here. Just thought I’d like to jog your memory on the situation. Sooner hear about fellow cunters on here, who have more interesting things to say about themselves.

  7. Is this the wanker in the aftershave adverts who plays 3 chords on a guitar in the desert?
    He seems to like attaching himself to the ‘in’ things of the moment.
    The Fast Show and celeb funerals.

    • Afternoon Geordie.

      I’m going to have to disagree with your disagreement.

      Vanessa Paradis released her first single aged 14, the same age as I was at the time.

      I recall wanking like a safari park chimp every time she showed up on top of the pops until there was nothing but a wanked out husk where a vibrant teenager should have been.

      She hasn’t aged well to be fair, but I would still love to throw my filthy custard up her marmite motorway, given half the chance and assuming that the restraining order has now been lifted after 37 years.

  8. I hate Johnny Depp on a daily basis.
    Today I’ve just had 2 teeth out.

    For some reason this has elevated my hatred to a burning flame of pure fury.

    He’s such a fuckin fraud.
    He’s a wannabe.

    Nothing rebellious in his whole life!!
    He’s quite content to suck on the tit of Disney corporation.

    Real rock n roll rebels like Jim Morrison would of got their cock out and drunkenly insulted the CEO of Disney.

    Keith moon would of blown up the toilet in the CEOs office

    Sid vicious would of ODd in his office.

    Some actors are the real deal.
    They aren’t all ducky thespians.

    Randy Cobb was a boxer and genuine wit,
    Sonny Landham was a genuine hellraiser and had to have bodyguards on set to stop him getting pissed up and battering his costars.

    Errol Flynn was hard as nails and had a winky that’d choke a horse.

    Depps a tame little corporate turd.

    • Sympathies, Mis.

      Once had a back molar extracted, took the lass dentist 50 minutes to admit defeat and call a male in.
      Kept topping up the anaesthetic, even bought Sis in to hold my hand!
      When it was finally wrenched out (at one point I was horizontal, with his knee on my chest), the fucking thing had roots like thumbs. Fractured my jaw.
      That was such fun!
      Yet, I’ve been mocked for having needle phobia.

      • Jesus!!

        Tough going that JP!!

        It’s settled down to be honest,
        The dentist is a Asian bloke and to be fair he’s good at what he does.

        Once had a abscess that swelled up my face on one side like Popeye,
        It also started poisoning me making me lethargic.

        I went a emergency dentist,
        Little Chinaman.
        He had to kneel on my chest to yank it,
        And the smell that came out because of infection was fuckin horrible!!

      • Been there, done that.
        Partially erupted wisdom tooth.
        Wobbled like a weeble. X-ray, pulled it, massive pocket of pus, 7 days worth of antibiotics.
        7 days worth of constipation, always has that effect.

  9. He had my respect when he made his missus so furious that she did a tom tit in their bed. He lost my respect when he didn’t rub her nose in it and then lock her out in the garden for a few hours.
    Man up,Jonathon.

  10. I would crawl over a mile of broken glass to drink Vanessa Paradis’ piss from a sewer.

  11. Sorry Mis’ i can’t agree with this cunting.

    The bloke has been through a lot of shit lately, with Hurd accusing him of all sorts. What was he going to do, beat her up? she’s mental, and he wouldve gone straight to jail.

    Luckily he won his own defamation case.

    I don’t really care what he thinks of McGowan or Richards. Not enough to cunt him for liking them.

    • No probs CP,
      I’ve enough hatred for both of us!

      He wears as much mascara as Claudia winklepicker.

      And he looks a bit… Ethnic?
      Slight touch of the tar brush,
      Maybe a bit of ramjam in his bloodline?

      But mostly I hate him for letting the world know his bird beat him up and shit in the bed
      He’s a multi millionaire!!!

      He should of had her fed to the pigs.

  12. He may be a total cunt, but hey why not??
    I have been in the distant past……
    Haven’t any of you? Come on be honest

  13. Depp is a tosspot.
    Has Winona Ryder’s tits on tap, and he still wasn’t satisfied.

    Has the lovely Vanessa too. Trades her in for a dribbling psycho who drops turds in the bed.

  14. McGowan was the ultimate plastic fucking Paddy, slurring nonsense to electric diddle ee eye. If thats what turns Dep on then fuck him.

  15. @MNC

    George Christie reckons Thompson got slapped on purpose to give the book a big ending. Who knows but everything I’ve seen of Thompson makes me think most people would want to smack him.

    Johnny Depp

    The boy who refuses to grow up. He’s a bit like Keith Richard, Keith still thinks he’s as cool as he was in the 60’s, now an aged parody of himself.

    Drops in the same place, what ya rebelling against Johnny? Whaddya got?

    Johnny is anti establishment as fuck, after taking 210 million dollars of the same establishment he’s rebelling against his rebellion is questionable.

    Depp can act when he puts his mind to it, but can he act well enough to capture attention in serious roles now he’s an old ugly cunt?

    • I don’t think Depp thinks he is anti-establishment, and hasn’t for years. Not sure where this projection comes from.

      Working with Terry Gilliam and Keith Richards? Being friends with River Phoenix when he died? Appearing on The Fast Show?

      None are really countercultural, although all that died in the late seventies anyway.

      The Heard case made him more ‘anti-establishment’ than his artistic career ever has.

  16. He maybe pushing 60 but I’d still sit knickerless on his face🤭🤭🤭 Mr Depp isn’t a cunt.

    • Wouldn’t sprinkle it on Dexters litter tray, as a refresher.

      But it apparently makes a good wolf repellent.

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