An ‘oi! Don’t frighten the horses!’ cunting for sexual exhibitionists, a couple of whom I happened to come across (no pun intended) in Asda’s car park this afternoon.
I’d parked away from the busier area, and on returning, saw that another car had parked one space across from mine, leaving a space in between. Seated in the front were a couple who I’d guess were in their late thirties. Nothing remarkable in this, but as I began to manoeuvre my trolley between the cars, the bloke promptly inserted his hand between her legs and made great show of vigorously massaging her fanny.
Now I couldn’t give a monkey’s what people get up to in their spare time, good luck to ’em, I say, but blimey, a bit of decorum’s surely in order. It was obvious that they knew that I could see them, and from the gratified expressions on their faces, these two were clearly a couple of thrill seekers who got off on that very fact.
I loaded up my stuff and drove off, wondering whether I should have tactfully suggested that they should get a room. If nothing else, they were chancing that someone would take the car’s registration and call the scuffers; but I suppose that the risk simply added to the excitement.
Now I’m one of the most broad-minded individuals you’ll ever meet, but this sort of behaviour in public seems a bit unseemly and coarse to me. Finger away to your hearts’ content I say, but show a bit of class and do it behind closed doors, and if you do want to be seen, do so in the company of like-minded individuals.
Now dear, just close the curtains come over here, would you…
Nominated by Ron Knee.
An absolute disgrace! Some cunts have no fucking class, whatsoever! Anyway, erm… where did you say this Asda was? Did you happen to notice the make/model/colour of said vehicle? Asking for a member of law enforcement who may with to make enquiries on this disgusting behaviour! One more question, was she shaved up like a racing hamster or did her lady garden resemble an owls nest??
20
I can’t agree with this cunting.
I quite enjoy watching people having a bit of ‘how’s your father’.
I have a special pair of lightweight binoculars which can be held steady in just one hand for this very purpose.
15
He probably works at the deli counter in asda, road testing a new pastrami recipe.
10
More likely the fish counter Barry, trying to add a bit of flavour to the cod fillets.
4
The most insufferable attention seeker is that ludicrously effeminate cunt Ollie Alexander. I was going to write a cunting about him, but my blood pressure couldn’t cope.
14
Good cunting Ron. Put her down and save it for later R On lad.
I do not want to see. Thank you.
7
What a disgusting story.
Ron, I am utterly appalled that you shop at Asda.
24
Are you not familiar with dogging, Ron?
They were probably waiting for you to get the camera phone out for a bit of x hamster fame.
You missed a trick there, should’ve cashed in.
8
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/8037528/Car-parks-closed-lay-bys-blocked-and-trees-cut-as-councils-try-to-stop-dogging.html
There’s a lot of it about apparently.
3
I blame my systemic raycisms on the fact I once saw 2 pakis shagging in piccadilly train station car park one morning.
I suppose the wimmin one has now been killed by her family.
Good morning gentlemen.
16
https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-67808645
OT but still good fun.
Hope you are on the road to recovery BTW Mr Knee.
7
At least you can claim to have witnessed incest UT.
Seeing a park key shagging someone over the age of consent would be another claim to fame.
10
Ron, it would appear that you have misjudged your fellow cunters. Unlike me and your good self the average IsAC contributor is more than a tad depraved. I dread to think of what Thomas will have to say.
7
Not a lot, I’m afraid, GG.
I’m really rather old-fashioned when it comes to that sort of thing, especially because children could have seen them and their inappropriaye behaviour.
Ron ought to have put half a brick through their windscreen.
But then, one wonders, why did they start performing for Ron?
Was it pre-arranged? Did the couple notice that Ron’s tinkle was hanging out of his flies (as usual)?
There’s more to this story that meets the eye. I think that Ron probably ended up in the car with them, being Barrymored.
17
I think it could have been anybody passing, it just happened to be me.
As for getting in the car, no chance. It was far too fucking cold.
4
It was you was it Knee? I’ll stick to Waitrose in future.
13
Try Tesco’s car park for Clit & Collect
15
Sounds like Beelzebub at work, Ron. You would be well advised to go on a diet of gruel for the next week. Say the rosary five times before going to bed while Mrs Knee flogs you with a cat o’nine tails. Repent! Repent, I say!
Further advice can be found in the Opus Dei Handbook, and the works of the late Mr Dennis Wheatley.
Good morning, everyone.
9
Disgraceful behaviour.
I wouldn’t want Ethel to witness such a scene. 😲
It could seriously impair her shoplifting operations.
I need her to be focused.
She’s already out, scouting for a leg of lamb and a Christmas pudding.
A Merry Christmas is on a knife edge.
Will she succeed ?
Or will it be Crimbo in the slammer ?
The Rookery awaits in silence 🤐
To be continued……..
13
Well it was a long wait.
You could cut the atmosphere with a knife at The Rookery.
Me pacing up and down, looking at my watch.
The hound at the window, looking out anxiously.
Know I know how they felt at Bomber Command, when they were waiting for the boys to return from a Thousand Bomber Raid
Ethel was an hour past her ETA.
Something must have gone wrong.
” She’s been nicked ” I blurted out, loudly.
The hound’s ears flattened and she gave me a worried look.
But wait.
What’s this ??????
A tall figure sweeps triumphantly into view !
Ethel returns !!
Employing the services of a local urchin, who set off the supermarket fire alarm.
Ethel had not only purloined a leg of lamb and the plum duff, but a small gammon joint and some pigs in blankets.
With everything safely ensconced in her foil lined poachers pocket, she had calmly waltzed out of the store. 👍👍
What a star !⭐
Good show !
Bloody bang on !
I’ll get her something nice for Christmas 🎁
Pop round the jeweler’s later.
When it’s shut.
Take Mr. Crowbar for a walk ……. 😀
Good afternoon.
5
It’s amazing what you can experience in the humble car park.
Kevin Keegan lost his wallet after ‘falling asleep’ in a Surrey beauty spot once.
Any suggestions of genitalia being vigorously rubbed on that occasion have been strenuously denied though.
13
Remembered being in a train carriage where a young couple were canoodling and one thing lead to another and final went the whole hog with a full on shag and nobody batted an eyelid. After they’d finished, the fags were out for the traditional smoke, when In unison the whole carriage shouted out, “Can’t you read, no smoking.”
13
Remembered being in a train carriage where a young couple were canoodling and one thing lead to another and finally went the whole hog with a full on shag and nobody batted an eyelid. After they’d finished, the fags were out for the traditional smoke, when In unison the whole carriage shouted out, “Can’t you read, No Smoking.”
2
Sorry for second helpings, had to tidy it up a little.
2
Just in:
ISAC chief news presenter in alleged car park voyeurism incident in supermarket carpark!
Mr Knee was unavailable for comment at the time of going to press.
Shocked couple were sharing an intimate moment when Mr Knee pressed his face against their window and got his zoom attachment out and started vigorously adjusting it.
Victims Barry Gland and Chelsea Slapper are being supported by specialist police officers.
An ASDA spokesperson said it’s not unusual for people to get aroused by the multiple bargains available in their stores and will introduce special parking spaces between the disabled and parent and toddler parking bays.
Various celebrities led by Phillip Schofield have offered their support for Ron Knee.
15
“We are awaiting statements by fellow victims Steve McFadden and Stan Collymore who were subjected to this sort of disgraceful behaviour no less than 30 times each across a variety of woodland car parks.”
9
I was so shocked that when I got home, the wife had to administer smelling salts and make me a hot water bottle.
I’m feeling better now though.
9
I saw this once in deepest south somerset when this chap was giving it to young filly standing up, he did have a fair old dobber on him, she was loving it, chest meat out and everythink. It was however in a primary school car park. Those bushes dont half rustle.
10
Public copulation seems to be more common than you’d think.
I once saw a couple fair going at it in a doorway behind the Cafe Royal bar in Edinburgh. Mind you it was about five to midnight on Hogmanay so fair do’s I suppose.
9
I would have peered through the window and started wanking
11
Dirty dogs
6
Personally I wouldn’t be seen dead at an Asda. We always shop at M&S or Waitrose, as you get a far more classy pair of show-offs in their carparks – allegedly!
Apparently Jemima and Pippa were giving each other a bean flick or two only last Saturday. Shame I missed it
9
Talking of things I’d rather not see; In Tesco’s yesterday, young woman, bare midriff, navel pierced and a big chunk of metal attached.
Just…why?
7
The couples excuse, was that the whole incident was a misunderstanding and the boyfriend was attending to an itch, whilst his big fat girlfriend was stuffing her gob with a large hamburger.
5
You can pay me later, Ron.
4
Why did you park in a ‘secluded’ part of the car park Ron.
Secondly did you go to ASDA for cheap champagne
Good job you didn’t spend too much, I guess the cork is still in the bottle.
Vllla dropping points to the bottom of the league, absolute disgrace 😂
3
Ease of parking old son; simple as that.
As for the Villa, at lunchtime yesterday I made two predictions to my son-in-law. One, this was the kind of fixture that Villa make an all-too-unfortunate habit of stubbing our toes on.Two, it was written in the stars that Archer would score.
I know my Villa of old. Still, top four ar Xmas. Can’t complain.
8
What’s missing here is the opinion of a particular removal man from the North who,it has been claimed,knows a thing or two about hiding in moorland bushes,knicker thievery and climbing up ladders to check ladies are undressing properly before bed.
It has also been claimed that his garden gates are superlative.
Perhaps the law has finally caught up with him..
8
Who could you possibly be referring to Unk?
7
IMPORTANT.
Forgot to mention. If you’re using Google Chrome as your web browser on any of your devices, make sure it is up to date as there are some potentially dangerous exploits leading to ransomware attacks in older versions.
To find out what version you’re using, click the 3 vertical ellipsis at the top right of your browser; click Help and then click “About Google Chrome”
From here it will tell you the current version. You need to be on at least “120.0.6099.130”. (Usually as soon you get to this page Google will automatically update your version followed by a “Relaunch” prompt)
With Admin’s permission I will copy and paste this into the next nom as it is very important for the security of your devices and local network.
Thanks
6
Way my lucks going I would most likely come across Barrymore with his fist up a lifeguards arse. Life ain’t fair.
6
Way my lucks going I would most likely come across Barrymore with his fist up a lifeguards arse. Life ain’t fair.
0
Ron, you surprise me, are you not familiar with canine activities? This was a polite invitation for you to get your dick out and have a wank. And if they had been impressed with your member, they might have allowed you the opportunity to climb in and get your hand wet. Beats pushing a trolley round Asda.
5
I must admit that I’m not familiar with dogging, either as a viewer or a participant.
Love getting my hand wet though.
2
i’m indifferent to it unless its somewhere children need to use.
I don’t mind women with huge tits who love being looked at. Quite often they’ll wear a plunging/loose neckline if they have tradesfolk working on the house, or a friend who doesn’t wear knickers snd invite a couple of the girls she works with to ‘show around’ before sunbathing in the garden with just bikini tops and shorts.
1