Christmas Tree Syndrome

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Yes, you read that right. There’s now a thing called “Christmas Tree syndrome” which affects 6% of the Australian population (the source of this revelation!).

Real trees in particular can contain anything up to 50 types of mould and pollens which could cause serious problems for people already suffering from asthma and other respiratory disorders.

Fake trees might be a safer option. However, if stored in cold damp areas such as garages or attics year in year out, they too might also attract a form of mould and contaminated dust.

Even tree decorations could pose a risk for the same reasons – i.e.. storing in cold damp areas.

So just make sure you give your Christmas fairy, baubles and balls a good old rub before hanging them on your brand new artificial syndrome-free tree!

Yahoo Australia News

Nominated by: Technocunt

(Have a great Christmas, boys/girls/things. And thanks for your nominations and comments over the last 12 months. It is always most welcome and keep those noms rolling in! Enjoy unwrapping your prezzies – The Admin Team)

45 thoughts on “Christmas Tree Syndrome”

  1. Hey. Where is she ? I’ve looked all around the bloody tree 🌲 and can’t find her. Fucking tease.

    Christmas 🎄 syndrome sounds like more modern age woke shit. Morning all happy Christmas.

  2. Australians are a bunch of inbred weirdos anyway, fuck ’em.
    Merry Christmas to all my fellow cunters and the admin team

  4. I’d have thought the booze consumed would offset the effects of a few pollen grains.
    But for the people who have to find fault with anything that makes the rest of us happy – do without then you cunt.

  6. The man on the telly told me all the Aussies drowned after the hundredth storm of the year.

    So this tragic tale is fake news.

    Have a boozy do,all the best.

  8. The Western world is obsessed with allergies.

    Anyone daft enough to take a holiday in India would get a severe dose of the shits, but the filthy fucking Indians eat all sorts of crap in the most unhygienic places and never suffer.

    You get used to living in an unsteralised environment.
    We don’t do ourselves any favours with our obsession with cleanliness.

    ¡Feliz Navidad!

  9. What a fantastic bum the woman in that picture has.

    Merry Christmas you filthy animals!

    Merry Christmas and thanks to the Admins for keeping this place running. I bet it isn’t easy sometimes.

    Got a special delivery for a Mr Ronald Knee
    https://youtu.be/7oJ6sbYRSmw?t=26

  11. My house is covered in dust, due to being disabled and obviously can’t remove it. If you don’t disturb it, the dust won’t trouble you.

    • As stately homo Quentin Crisp once remarked:

      “After the first four years the dust doesn’t get any worse.”

  13. Well that’s something else to add to our annual festival of doom, the traditional NHS Winter Flu/Covid Crisis. Where will it end?

    Luckily HMG rushed emergency legislation through Parliament at 5pm yesterday. Face nappies are now compulsory for anyone going to within 2 metres of a Norway Spruce. No more than 3 trees may gather together in one room, and trees may leave the house for exercise only once per day.

    Merry Christmas Admin and Cunters. Stay safe and remember:
    HANDS * FACE * TREE

    • As long as you are sat at a table with a Scotch Egg in hand, these dangerous trees will be magically much safer.

  17. Spray aforesaid tree with cinnamon domestic mix, sorted.
    Have a good cuntmas you miserable moaning bastards.
    And a happy new year, in a week things can only get worse.

  18. Its called sweating ones bollocks off, over in Convictland, because its fucking hot over there, you silly cunts !!!

    • There are still some true Brits over there, who are still pouring boiling hot custard over their pudding.

  19. Merry Christmas to all you cunters out there and of course – the admin team.

    The best site on the whole of the internet.

    🎄🍻

  20. What bollocks. That Naked Civil Servant chap never dusted his apartment. Never washed up either – apart from after fish. Didn’t have any effect on him, apparently!

    I always thought the Aussies were sturdy chaps; always up for a laugh. Great outdoors and all that. The covids shit soon proved that to be a myth. The whole fucking continent ran away and hid for more than two years.

    Merry Christmas to all!

    • Presume most of you people are on the Naughty list and received coal in your stocking?

      Not me.

      I’ve been a positive little angel all year
      And the slight misunderstanding over that roofing lead as been overlooked.

      Dates from the far east
      Tangerines from Sumatra
      Nuts.
      My stocking runneth over.

      And I’m wearing my eating pants ready for the Christmas dinner.
      I’ll consume 4stone of turkey growling at the dog.
      Then sleep through most of the afternoon.

      Happy birthday Jesus👍

  23. This doesn’t surprise me tbh.People seriously underestimate how dangerous mould etc can be.

  24. Another year nealry over. But we all still live to fight another cunt.

    All the best and a Happy Christmas to admin and cunters alike.

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