The John Lewis (4) Christmas Advert

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(John Lewis Ad from 2021 – Day Admin)

I just read my e-mails, and was delighted to find one from retailer John Lewis, inviting me to be among the first to view its new Christmas advert. Apparently it features a boy whose grow-your-own Christmas tree turns out to be a giant Venus Flytrap.

Stifling a yawn, I had a look at the papers online, where to my further delight, I found ‘The Daily Express’ once again inviting me to ‘watch the full and festive heartwarming advert HERE’;

Express News

Ditto ‘The Daily Fail’. I can barely contain my apathy.

Gawden Bennett. It now seems that we’ve reached a point where a bloody ADVERT gets premiered. They should get a full red carpet do organised for the actors and the production team. What next, a blaze of publicity for the premiere of Asda’s ad about its special cranberry and orange scented Christmas bog roll?

Am I just an old fogey to be amazed that members of the public get genuinely excited and bound up in this kind of marketing rubbish? All I can do is to borrow a Scots expression from the wife, and murmur ‘ho’d me back!’ in exasperation.

Gosh, only forty odd days to go! Ho fucking ho.

Nominated by: Ron Knee

 

77 thoughts on “The John Lewis (4) Christmas Advert”

  1. It wouldn’t be a John Lewis ad without the couple of lesbian mothers.

    It must be the first that they have made for years without the obligatory darkies.

  2. A new low for the plebs.
    Anything videoed is held up as a work of art.
    At least this advert can’t be any worse than that M+S horrorshow.

  3. I wonder why they try and make a big deal out of the Christmas adverts when they’re basically shit, just like almost all adverts nowadays? Not that I watch adverts, for that very reason.

    Morning Ron, morning all.

  4. whatever these ads cost to produce, does the company recoup in sales? I doubt it.

    Does John Lewis sell triffids?
    If the answer is no, then fuck off john. I prefer your brother huey..He always has the news.

  5. The ‘brain storming’ session for this ad must have been interesting.

    Let’s get away from the traditional type of Christmas advert.
    Let’s make the star of the advert a huge, carniferious plant.

    Yes, very fucking clever you media study graduate cunts, but what the fuck are you advertising?

    • Nail on the head there AC. However, I guess the ad agency will claim they’re selling the ‘experience’ whatever the fuck that is.

    • Waitrose are selling a soft toy version of the Venus fly trap plant, £18 each and there was a note on the shelf saying only 3 per customer please. I cannot imagine who buys all this crap. The message of the advert seems to be – allow something unacceptable in to your home – I hope it does not give the Government any (more) ideas.

  6. It is ironic that modern television sets have larger, much clearer screens than those of of my youth but they tend to show rubbish.
    Seeing Anne Robinson in HD for the first time gave me nightmares for a fortnight.

  7. I see Iceland have ditched their Christmas adverts this year (Joe Swash must be devastated) with the view of passing the millions saved in to price cutting and discounts for pensioners.
    The cynics among us here will know there’s a lot of virtue signalling bollocks here, but it’s not a bad stunt.
    John Lewis would do better by doing the same kind of thing.
    Reinstate the ‘never knowingly undersold’ policy and free 5 year warranty on telly’s and people might be interested.
    When will these major retailers realise that the ad agencies are the only real winners.

    • Definitely a better approach by Iceland; an advert for the benefits of shopping there, without actually making any adverts, if you see what I mean.

      Canny.

  8. Now you can believe that our Lords and Masters, contemplating recent Christmases, really did say “Let them die.”

  9. I’ve no intention of watching this shite.
    Here’s an idea for next Christmas though. Black family (of course) gathered around the fire in their mansion bedecked with Christmas decorations and all paid for by money defrauded out of BLM. 2 token hoodied honkies burst in and start walking out with anything of value – the 180 inch TV, the best furniture, the Porsche on the drive, all to the sound of Noddy Holder screeching ‘So here it is, Merry Christmas’.

    Reparations, innit.

  10. How long until the first black father christmas in a tv advert? or black Jesus – not that His birth seems to have anything to do with what is now called Christmas.

    • Sorry to have to be the one who breaks this to you, but Christmas has nothing at all to do with the birth of Jesus.

      It is a stolen holiday that is meant to replace the winter solstice that the Pagans celebrated on the 21st / 22nd of December. That being the shortest day, signaling the start of the new solar cycle.

      Even more cynically, the Victorians then decided to hold Christmas on the 25th, for the simple reason they would never have to give workers two weeks off over the winter solstice period.

      Therefore:

      Fuck Christmas
      Fuck John Lewis
      and where are my reparations you thieving Christian bastards?

      • It doesn’t really matter when it was supposed to be or whatever date is chosen, Christmas is about Christ – the clue is in the name. Moreover, it should be about humility and family. The current version of Christmas has fuck all to do with either. Anyway, I don’t want to become the bastard son of Miles plastic, so i’m gonna leave it there.

  12. Two more adverts that make my shit itch….

    The Bailey’s one.
    Could there be a uglier front row of a choir?

    The chocolate chip cookie advert where a black woman mysteriously appears in a white family’s kitchen to snatch a biscuit out of the father’s hand.

    Even Mrs Cunter said, “That’s fucking weird”.

    • That’s the new inclusive cookie monster, the colour blue just wasn’t cutting it..
      “COOKIE’S”.. always lock your doors..

    • She probably stole a handbag off the hall table, on her way out. Containing the keys to the family BMW, parked on the driveway. Which her waiting son then drove them both away in.

      It’s a fucking disgrace.

      But not surprising.

      If a blick cunt suddenly appeared in The Rookery, I’d set the hound on the scoundrel.

      The cunts can go and shoplift their own fucking biscuits.

      Morning AC / all.

      • and if they got stopped by the rozzers, they would get a free pass and the rozzers would be sacked.

  14. They really are all a bag o’ shite.

    Dawn French is back at it as the M&S Christmas fairy.

    Less Tinker Bell more dumbbell.

  15. The rattling of a stick in a swill bucket? Might have been in his day but I’m defeated as to how it works today. Everyone I know is irritated by all this brainless advertising thrown at us across the media. How does it work? Most of it would insult the intelligence of a Somalian and some of it goes spectacularly wrong. Cadbury’s creme eggs? Bud light anyone?

    • I’d say that JL got this one wrong big time.

      The fucking triffid’s going to scare a few kids.

      Utterly pointless waste of their dosh.

  16. never watch adverts on the telly, and the ones on commercial radio are so annoying and pathetic I would never purchase their shit.
    so as far as I am concerned the cunts should stop the ads and cut prices.

    • What’s the problem? Sounds like a good ‘un to me.

      Just out of interest, have they ever asked those benign souls the Saudis why you can’t find a church for love nor money down Riyadh way?

  19. ADVERTISERS TAKE NOTE…!

    Like me, most people record the programs that interest them and fast forward through the ads..!

    Knob heads…!

  20. Stopped watching adverts after the Esso sign one with sambo giving us a giggle.

    Have they done the one with jungle bunnies dancing round the pot, singing we taste like chicken ? I know I can rely on you to tell me what to look out for and avoid.

  21. Always makes me laugh that John Lewis feels this elitist need to be the best, the Harrods they never were with the reality that Waitrose is propping them up financially becuase they are fucked. Waitrose are eqaully cunty, I swear their prices have gone up another 10% in the last week and when visiting a store at the weekend (it’s near so I mainly go their for liquor) I noticed they were selling the star of the advert as a cuddly toy – a penis flytap – what the fuck that has to do with xmas god only knows.

    It would be interesting to see how many £££££’s they spunked on this advert and I can only imagine all the wokey luvvies in marketing creaming their knickers at the unveiling of this, iPad in hand and osme crappy death by powerpoint presentation.

    Many years ago I worked for this company (and Harrods for a short stint) and have never in my life worked for a bigger bunch of wankers.

    Self indulging, I am better than you cunts.

  22. I’m surprised that John Lewis can find the money to spend on advertising. It was run into the ground by someone called Sharon White – a black woman (who’d have thought it?) promoted way beyond her abilities.

  23. The only advertisement that may convince me to purchase a product or service would contain the following;
    Our company has been around selling the same products or services unchanged for over 100 years.
    We might’ve used slaves once upon a time, but we promise we now only employ children and widows to keep costs low.
    It’s got a Royal warrant on it, HRH Anne the Princess Royals haemorrhoid cream is good enough for me.

  24. Wish I could hibernate like the animals and avoid christ mass. I more or less do, except for having to look through the spy hole when there’s a knock on the door and occasionally might have to open it.

      • Indeed she does Arfur. She’s the same as me; hates it with an absolute passion.

        I’ve got Scots friends who hate it too. Like me and the wife, they despise all the ‘here’s tae us, wha’s like us, few an’ they’re a’ deid’ maudlin hogwash from north of the border at that time.

    • I wonder if the museum will get more hand-outs for this, or will it turn out to be another ‘mistake’?

  27. It’s the ‘be among the first to view’ thing that gets me, like it’s the new Bond film or summat.

    Do people rush to watch it? Do they get on to their friends ‘ooooooh, have you seen it then?’. Do they then get an overwhelming urge to rush out to their nearest John Lewis store and start spending?

    I genuinely don’t get it.

    Morning all.

  28. The good thing about the beeb is, free-to-air (for me at least), straight into an uninterrupted programme and fuck right off at the end. Their news items online don’t ask or offer biscuits. They seem to have things I like when choosing and woke shite doesn’t get in the way.

  29. The Ad would have been a hit if the kid was blick and the triffid had grabbed him and spat him out white

  30. I remember the start of I(diot)TV when unable to edit adverts for years, when roughly 10 minutes in an hours programme watched were full of the shite. It meant these cunts owe me years of my life. Now we’re getting our own backs on the fucking twats.

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