Cryptocurrency (2) and Sam Bankman-Fried

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Now that the Czar of Cryptocurrency Sam Bankman-Fried – you know him of the iffy ‘70s footballer perm – has been sent down in America as a dodgy cunt, a fraud and a liar, I restate my previous position.

Betting on the gee gees with Lester Piggott or blowing my wad at a Chinese Casino, would be more ethical than entering into the anonymous cash free world of Crypto Mining and fungible CC (CryptoCurrency is fungible because it can be exchanged for other currencies) and non-fungible tokens (exist only as a line of code in a block chain).

Who owns the Crypto-currency Exchanges? Er nobody, at least in a legal sense.

Who owns the CC held in them? Er nobody, at least in a legal sense.

Is there an address I can go to to draw my CC out if I want to? Er no, at least not in a legal sense. In order to “Cash Out” you have to first sell your CC to an intermediary such as a website like Coinbase

I’m starting to like the sound of this, how do I start mining CC for myself and others? Get yourself a remote warehouse and fill it with vast numbers of PCs running 24/7 then install remote terminals all over the World where punters insert cash and see it vanish in exchange for a Non Fungible Token – lines of code sent to your CC account.

Er you can’t, at least not in a legal sense.

Mob and other underworld connections would help though. How do I find those? Try the Dark Web or just inside the kitchen door of a Chinese or Italian restaurant.

Interesting factoid. Law enforcement agencies searching for illegal CC Exchanges either employ vast teams of cyber analysts online to trace the dealings or just send in the heavy mob to any remote premises that have started to use large amounts of electricity. An indication of Raves, Cannabis Farms and CC Mining or all three.

Now Bankman-Fried (subject to appeals and lawyers) is going down for a very long time in the Yankee penitentiary system good news is that he will be soon experiencing the old fashioned jail currency of AC (Arse Crypto) and DC (Dick Crypto).

The BBC version of the story and pictures of the scruffy cunt in whiffy sneakers:
BBC News

Nominated by: Official Suspect

50 thoughts on “Cryptocurrency (2) and Sam Bankman-Fried”

  3. I’ve tried reading about this and still don’t understand. I suppose the dodgy warehouse ‘mining’ bitcoins is like a central bank printing extra money. It’s only worth what someone says it is. All crooks.

  6. Crypto nah thanks, my nephew made a couple of grand off Ripple when he bought at 25cents and sold at about 1.50, he was lucky as it crashed within the week.
    He used Revolute to buy and then sell and back into his bank account.
    Then there’s the day traders with there array of AI bots and programmes sniping every cent with the algorithms and such.
    My nerves would be at me.
    Plenty of original old bit coiners forgot they’re passwords when it was worth fk all, well thats it tough, even though it is possible to retrieve by the help of an “expert” but a very dodgy procedure.
    Ponzi scheme as it invests in nothing tangible

    • Same can be said for the digits on banks’ computers.

      J.P. Morgan said “Gold is money everything else is credit” back in 1912.

      Still correct.

      We suffer under debt based system, where a privileged few get to print bits of paper, claiming that it is money. It is in fact currency, very different.

      If you or I print a piece of paper and call it money those in control call it counterfeiting, but in truth, what the controllers print is also counterfeit, they’ve just got ‘laws’ on their side enforced by their hired thugs.

      If you want to piss off your bank, pull out everything except a month or two’s funds and find a good place to store it, or even better get some silver or gold.

      As long as people go along with the banks, things cannot improve.

      Disclaimer:
      This is not financial advice

  9. This Fried Bankman cunt is just a criminal,like they used to say a Snake Oil salesman..

    Bought himself a lot of “high profile” chums who have abandoned him to his fate..not surprising given he made off with a great deal of very foolish peoples money.

    I’m quite surprised Sunakered hadn’t offered him the Chancellors job.

    Same set of cunts.

    • Sent a shit load of funds to a bunch of Democrat politicians too.

      I don’t think any have returned it.

      I reckon there’s a lot more to this story than us plebs will ever be allowed to find out.

  11. I paid Miserable for a removals job once in cryptocurrency.

    In his account at 10.00am.

    He was a millionaire by 10.15.

    A billionaire by 12.00.

    By 2.00 he was declared bankrupt.

    By 3.00 the house was repossessed.

    By 8.00 the next day he was living in my shed.

    By 9.00 he was showing up for work as my new (unpaid) apprentice.

    Its a slippery slope.

    • It used to be clogs to clogs in three generations. Well there you go, today it’s clogs to clogs in 24 hours.

      Poor Mis, I hope he kept the country cream gates to remind him of what was.

      • Unfortunately Geordie he had to burn them on that first night on the street to help keep warm along with his John Bishop floorboards

  12. And thats why I don’t like crypto currency.

    never trust a man with a perm.
    They’re all cunts.
    yer Keegan’s
    yer Brian Mays
    have the fuckin fillings out of yer mouth soon as look at yer.

    I like cash.
    sorry, I ❤️ cash£££

    know where you are with cash .
    I can’t spell my own name but comes to cash?
    I’m a fuckin genius.
    like Rainman.

    • Keep a large wad about your person, MNC. Then when some cunt in a posh store says ‘card only, sir’ you can wave bye-bye with it as you exit. The cunts hate it.

      • evening 20.👍
        I do.
        and fill the centre with layers of cardboard so it looks about 3grand.

        Some minimum wage checkout cunt gets lippy because I look like a tramp?

        flash my wedge.
        that thing when a dogs confused and tips it’s head ?
        they do that😁

    • He’s a cunt for resembling Simon Rattle, who, if he were a singer, would be auto-turned.

  13. Anything fungible ( or non- fungible) is a ponzi scene run by cunts to fleece other cunts. Like non- fungible digital artwork. Cunts pay millions for a few lines of original code which when pushed through your computer portray “ art” . But anyone could download this “ art” for free. Idiots buying this stuff deserve to be fleeced.

  14. know that Bobby Ball?
    he charged my uncle £30,000 to build.a extension.
    they digged the footings,
    cheque cleared,
    fucked off.

    never saw him again.
    one of those rogue builders.

    sure it was Bobby Ball, had a perm anyway.

  15. At the end of the day, all currency is fungible, isn’t it?

    Just because that nice man at the bank told me that the piece of pasticized paper he gave me was worth £20, doesn’t mean it is, does it?

    • True JP. But that 20 pound note is backed up by the Bank of England. Cryptocurrency is backed up by a few dodgy Russians, Silicone Valley wonder boys and a handful of computer hackers who have been wearing the same underpants for three years.

    • If it helps to reassure you, JP, I have never had a problem exchanging a £20 note for £20 worth of goods in UK shops.

      • Quite right Minge!

        JP , this £20 note your worried about should be checked in case of forgery!

        would you like me to look at it for you?

      • Nor have I, MJB.

        But it seems to me that we have an awful reliance on gold reserves to back up paper ( or whatever the fuck it is) moneys value.

        I have this dreadful feeling that the next Minister of the Exchequer is going to open the drawer and find a note.

      • On the other hand,
        I took 20 Bitcoins to the newsagents on Tuesday and they told me to get fucked.
        I only wanted a What’s On TV and a bar of Galaxy Caramel.

    • Mis, yes please!

      I’m sure it’s hooky.

      I’ll post it, usual address? In a plain brown envelope?

      • Keep hold of it JP.

        Once we go cash free so the govt and big business can track our spending habits it will be a collectors item.

        Kids in the future will marvel that people walked into actual shops and talked to actual people where we gave them funny bits of paper for goods and services.

      • Take care if you’re black though.
        Currency is racist.
        George Floyd tried to purchase a bottle of Fanta with a hooky $20 note and carked as a direct result.

    • Fair point Jeezum. The pound sterling is what’s known as a fiat currency which I think is true of most currencies in the world these days i.e. there is no gold or other commodity to back it but it all relies on trust in the government by which it was issued. Despite some of the recent posts on here this would suggest that the UK government is widely trusted since the exchange rate of the pound is exceeded only by the currency of a handful of oil states. To us ordinary folks I guess the proof is that when you go to buy something and offer the seller a £20 note you don’t usually get a response of “Fuck off, I’m not taking that.” Unless it’s one of those funny little Scottish notes that is. I’m afraid I would not trust that weirdo with the 1970s perm to give me the correct time of day. This is my strictly amateur understanding of the system and I won’t be offended if I’m shot down in flames by some-one with greater financial expertise.

  16. Someone explained the whole crypto Ponzi scheme bollocks on here a while back, in terms I think we can all understand.

    ‘Naked emperor parades through town waving invisible wallet full of imaginary cash’.

    That’s cryptocurrency in a nutshell.

  18. Nothing beats the current currency, you know private owned central banks making up money for the government and getting us to pay the interest on 2 trillion pounds that never existed. The banks do the same thing lend you money that doesn’t exist and charge us interest but thst’s legitimate currency, what could go wrong?

  19. ” I promise to pay the bearer, on demand, the sum of…..”

    It’s a very long time since that statement was true.

    Yet it’s still printed on banknotes.

    Like the guarantee that says up to£80,000 ( Or is it 85 ? ) of cash in your bank account, is covered in the event of the bank going tits up.

    It’s another misleading statement, as what they don’t tell you is that if the whole banking system crashes, the sums are so mind boggling that there would be no chance of being compensated.

    As for this crypto nonsense.

    I wouldn’t touch it with a barge pole.

    When Central Banks establish their own digital currencies, these magic crypto beans will evaporate quicker than a summer morning mist.

    Countries around the world are increasing their bullion holdings by large amounts.

    They aren’t doing it for nothing.

    Good evening.

    • Yep, they’re buying up all those UK gold reserves that Gordon ‘bigoted woman’ Brown sold off for peanuts.

  20. keep the minimum amount of money in bank, draw it out as cash.
    Scabby fuckers think its their loot and ask you questions if you want to draw more than certain amount out cheeky cunts, told one soppy cow I wanted it for guns,drugs and whores and she said she’d have to call the manager. What the fuck it’s got to do with them what I want to do with my own property is beyond me. She said it was to stop me being scammed, told her more scamming going on now with their push for electric money than when it was all cash, no answer to that statement. Crypto is another scam waiting to happen.

    • For many years now Civvy I’ve used meths in the screen wash in the car in winter as it’s much more cost effective than the stuff they sell in Halfords. I was once asked why I was buying it and I told her because it was cheaper than Tesco’s plonk. The silly tart called the manager. Fortunately he had a three figure IQ and understood my explanation. This was in a chemist’s in Erdington. I did think of picking up a box of condoms and asking her if she wanted to know what I was going to do with them but I never did.

  21. Good old BTC was an interesting concept back in the 00s. Pretty harmless and basic blockchain tech over encrypted P2P.

    But then the greedy bastards got involved, built themselves large data sheds with hundreds of PC linked over a decentralised LAN or WAN for fast mining transaction validations. And thus controlling/manipulating the BTC arena, just like those Gordon Gekko-type cunts on the stock market, including Mister Fried Toast here.

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