Never thought I’d be doing this, but Noel Gallagher has temporarily uncunted himself.
As we all know, his cunt credentials are solid. His musical larceny, endless hubris, self mythologizing, and infinite drivel about Manchester City.
But recently Noel said something that somebody in the music industry should have said years ago.
That Adele is shit.
And that’s because she is shit. One key only bawling and only one subject matter. Getting dumped and getting her own back on some ex. The same repetitive autotuned crap, beloved by Malteser guzzling wine swigging porky slags and beige tossers across the nation. The way she is lauded like she is Maria Callas meets Aretha Franklin is puke inducing, And the songs are as tiresome as they are moronic.
‘I’m gonna set fire to the rain’. How is that done, exactly? ‘I’m gonna make your head burn’ is another one🤣. And somebody should tell the stupid cow that it’s ‘rumour has it’ or ‘the rumour is’. Not ‘the rumour has it’. It doesn’t even make sense. What complete and utter drivel.🤢
Adele and Ed Sheercunt represent the gruesome nadir of British popular music, and it’s good that at least one rock star isn’t routinely kissing their arses.
So – just for one day – Noel isn’t a cunt.
But, he will be again soon….😉
Nominated by: Norman
I’m still trying to figure out what ‘I set fire to the rain’ is actually supposed to mean.
Morning all.
15
She’s subliminally saying I’m going to pour petrol on myself, the next time I get jilted.
12
“Chasin’ pavements” too.
Chasin’ the burger van more like although she has lost a ton of weight in recent years.
Never seemed jolly though? Always whining about her upbringing by her single mother.
Boo hoo.
14
Breakin’ pavements.
Feared by LB councils.
9
Very interesting interpretation Sammy. Never thought of that!
5
I think she means “Napalm the CUNT”.
10
That weight will return when her latest fellah (a dark personage?) scarpers. The maltesers and Big Macs will make a roaring comeback.
11
and a big box of Pinot G.
I bet she necks them like pouches of Capri Sun
7
Maybe she has just discovered the benefits of white phosphorus?
5
It’s the usual misandrist shite she squawks, and gets away with.
Some crap like ‘I’m gonna set fire to the rain. And make it burn your face.’
Absolute crap.
11
Knowing I shouldn’t be criticising the pair of them for never hearing any of their shite, but I’d be interested to hear what misogynists thinks of the female pub singer.
4
Golden showers/STDs??
Does Addle give anyone here the ‘orn? Me neither…
3
It’s a bit like “slowly walking down the hall, faster than a cannonball”.
Or singing dont look back in anger with a candle in your hand after some kids have been blown up at a concert, what’s all that about ?
2
All Noel’s saying is join the queue you fat cunt.
11
“So – just for one day – Noel isn’t a cunt.
But, he will be again soon….😉”
I’ll give him no more than two minutes, Norman.
16
Aye MMCM.
Till he’s doing ‘punditry’ on City’s next game on Sky.
5
Quite right – but there are many, many more in that nadir.
Talking of lyrics, the Beatles` Eight Days A Week: No, there are only seven – it`s the law.
12
That’s one of those Ringo-isms, Sam.
A Hard Day’s Night, Tomorrow Never Knows, Eight Days A Week.
Ringo used to come up with things like that. Lennon used to credit him for it. But tightarse Macca never did, of course.
10
I don’t know Sam, some of the firms I’ve worked for would have you working eight days a week.
3
One good deed doesn’t overwrite a lifetime of being a total cunt.
16
Just sums up the vacuous sub 40 somethings that are running this country. Popcorn music with no real talent
8
I quite like that Ed Sheeran chappie, aside from the fact that he has no discernable talent and resembles a ginger hobbit.
13
One of Ed’s latest hits.
Rhyming the word ‘answer’ with ‘Tiny Dancer’ (as in Fat Reg).
Absolutely gruesome.
How about rhyming ‘word’ with ‘turd’?
8
More of Ed’s lyrical genius;
‘But lately, her face seems
Slowly sinking, wasting
crumbling like pastries’.
Bacharach would’ve killed for such a gem..
6
Addle’s face is more of a Gregg’s pastie.
3
That’s a bit harsh. She does have a good voice but chooses to waste it on self-pity.
4
and they all worship The Beatles.
2
No we don’t it’s about time the Beatles shit was binned its Dad music 👎👎
5
Make that Great Grandad music 👍
2
Are you a Zoomer, George? You might be the youngest cunter here.
3
Gallagher with his odd, malformed cranium is a cunt. Adele with her love of sausage rolls is also a cunt.
15
When will she write a song where she breaks up with a chap called Gregg?
Never.
5
The thing I actuallly like about her was that for ages she was a poster girl for the fat celebration/body positivity cunts .
Then she decided that being fat was a cunt and got in shape .
The howling from the fatties was fucking excellent but yeah she’s a cunt
And have you heard her when she opens her gob to speak , makes Barbara Windsor sound like the Queen
12
And when she wore that Jamaican flag bikini thing.
The chimp out and ”you stealin from da slaves, man’ tantrums caused rumbles on the Planet of the Apes.
Hilarious.
11
I’m amusing myself by criticising this pair of cunts without even hearing a single bum note from either. Simply just knowing they’re shite from the feeling I have in my water. Or osmosis of the mind.
6
Ignorance (of shite) is bliss.
Tried listening to some some modern chart music a while ago.
After a few minutes thought I might need DCI Cunt’s assistance.
Makes the soft shit on Greatest Hits sound like fucking Verdi.
2
I genuinely doubt you’ve never ever heard an Oasis song
1
I think Sammy is aware of that, and doesn’t care.
0
She’s got a face like a blistered pisspot. I need her slit your wrists music like a reindeer needs a hatrack. She’s one of them as well like Mariah Carey and Whitney, singing 24 notes when 3 will do.
13
Only thing is, Carey (who I would have done in her prime) and Houston could sing in more than one key. Adele is the same key on every song she does. She is also autotuned to fuck.
And that useless bitch Dido. Sings like the tone on the colour bars closedown that used to be on the telly.
6
Blacks in general seem to do that. They have this inherent way of ruining a song by singing 5x as many notes as the original, sometimes to the point of it sounding like a different fucking song.
9
Beyonce sounds like a car alarm.
12
You made me laugh.
Back to the squawking. Cleo Laine’s been doing it for donkey’s.
4
That’s called melisma, and common in Gospel choirs. Whitney Houston actually sung in a gospel choir and learned the technique properly. Nowadays every chav bird in a mini skirt thinks she can fake that sort of talent to get a recording contract.
Fucking sad.
3
They both are.Smeg off and Smeg off again.Push them both off a tower block.
6
He was also quite sound on covids and the jabbies. Maybe he has finally dismounted his ‘champagne super nova’ and joined us mere mortals on the planet Totallyfuckedintheanus.
5
Granted, Adele is no longer a lardarse, but the women in popular music today are dire. They couldn’t give a fruit fly a boner, never mind a bloke.
A decrepit and make up encrusted Madogga, Lady ‘Boy’ Gaga, William ‘Face like a 59 Bus’ Eilish, Lizzo The Hutt, Lana Del Cunt, Ariana Jailbait, and daaki slags like Cardi B and Nikki Minaj. A cavalcade of mingers. Taylor Swift looks alright, but I am sick of seeing the woman.
Only Kunty Perry and the new look Miley Cyrus would get the Norman Sword.
13
Wholeheartedly agree, Norm. Although I’ve never heard of some of the fem tarts you listed.
The ladies are supposed to be good looking. Many of them use their good looks and sexuality to help further their careers (no, I don’t mean shagging top producers or record company executives), though I’ve only ever heard Toyah admit to that being the case.
Ultimately it boils down to performance, presence, style of delivery and the ability to sing in an entertaining way. Take Siouxsie Sioux for example. Hardly a beautiful stunner, but what an amazingly great vocalist. If you’re not stunning, be brilliant. If you’re stunning, you can get away with it up to a point (e.g. Britney). What you can’t do is be ugly as fuck and crap (e.g. Billie Eyelash). Unfortunately, today’s yoof are being fed such rubbish and they don’t know any different, but lap it up anyway.
6
Madonna screwed every producer and record exec she worked with, Got up the duff by a few of them, and had several abortions. She really is a cunt.
A brilliant artist who was also stunning? Olivia Newton John was a fine singer and a gorgeous woman. Cher in her younger days, Shirley Bassey in her prime, Kate Bush, of course.
8
I will admit, William Eilish has some nice baps.
Just a shame her face looks like it belongs in a net off the coast of Newfoundland.
6
Eilish has a fizzog like a Star Wars creature.
Jasmine Harman. Tits to die for. Face like Arkle.
3
Kate Bush singing in a mac and trilby, oh my..
2
Meg Whte had nice tits. But she had a face like a retarded version of Beryl the Peril.
1
Lulu was hot. Boom-bang-a-bang.
4
She was and all.
Always fancied Lulu in the 70s. Good voice and all.
My dad had a thing for Nana Mouskouri in the 70s. I suppose back then she was quite saucy, in a naughty school ma’am or librarian type of way.
6
Hi again Norman, another saucy minx from yesteryear was that Mireille Mathieu. Fantastique!
1
Oh aye, Twenty Thousand.
And Joey Heatherton was shit hot too.
1
Don’t forget Sadiq’s favourite, Dua Lipa. She helped build Britain, y’know.
5
Now, I wouldn’t mind giving young Dua a going over with the tickling stick. Tattyhilarious!
4
That Jessie Ware looks humpable on her album cover….
https://media.pitchfork.com/photos/63e86295fa5c2bd42fc3e936/master/w_1280%2Cc_limit/Jessie-Ware-That-Feels-Good.jpg
1
Katy Perry is top class fanny Norm as is (and this is a personal view) the current Britney Spears, not the snappy little thing she was when she first started out.
0
Reckon that it’s only a matter of time before Adele has a coffee coloured n!g n0g nipper. Most bints from her part of the world do at some point. With daddy pissing off sharpish, of course….
13
She is for sure a coal burner. Alllison Moyet did ok for a bird from the larger department
0
Good uncunting.
From an interviewing and banter perspective, I find Noel quite entertaining. His natural born arrogance combined with his wealth and celebrity status gives him a platform to say what he likes. I applaud that, so well done that man.
6
Yep, the arrogance is entertaining in itself. Cunts like Michael Winner have always been far more entertaining than the sort who want everyone to like them, like Stephen Fry. He’ll say one thing to one audience, then perform a one-eighty and say the opposite to appeal to a different audience.
5
‘My good friend, Michael Caine/Kate Mara/Oliver Reed…’
Funny as fuck. I bet Miles was a fan…
0
I need to cunt this.
Do not derail this uncunting. If you want to cunt something, use the Nominations Page – NA.
2
Adele is the luckiest chav alive.
6
Her and Michael Carroll.
1
Just coughed up £20 million to the ex apparently…😂😂😂😂
6
Liam told him years ago that she was a ‘fucking witch.’
3
I quite like some of Noel’s newer songs and he’s made a lot of sense quite recently calling modern young people boring, starting rock bands being a hobby for middle-class kids and telling Ken Bruce his old stomping ground at Radio 2 had become a charisma vacuum.
5
He’s right about young people. Almost every single young lad these days dresses in black, wears those black puffer jackets (in all weathers) and have those poodle’s arse perm haircuts. And all they do is gawp at their phones. It looks like a uniform, as they all look and act the same.
When I was that age, it was football, drinking, gigging, shagging. As it should be for every young lad.
5
Never got into gigging, i’m afraid. Nearest I came to was as a roadie of sorts for my brother’s band.
Only allowed to play the triangle at school, and only after the school had been visited by environmental health officers.
3
Great bands back then Cuntamus.
The Jam, Buzzcocks, Damned, Stranglers, Specials, Blondie, Police, PIL, Blockheads, ACR, Durutti Column, and the mighty Joy Division. Cheap to get in too.
3
Sorry Norm’, I see what you mean now.
Only been to a few gigs. Better than festivals as I can go home to bed.
0
Noel Gallagher will always be a cunt.Anyone who try’s to emulate Paul McCartney as a re incarnated Beatle has to be the biggest cunt on the planet plus he’s a fucking City fan 👎
Adele is a witch and an ugly one at that only time you see the bitch is when she has a new album out She’s on every talk show in the World promoting it plus the obligatory single Who buys this trash?
It won’t be long before she’s 18 stone and a size 20 again 😆😆
9
And his brother Liam thinks he is John Lennon and John Lydon.
And that lazy bitch Adele never tours. The fat cow simply can’t be arsed. And, as you say George, we have to endure her ‘Little Britain’ babbling every time she puts a new pile of crap out.
6
Agreed Norman hope you are ok 👍👍
0
Adele, another one who hoots rather than sings, like Lana Del Beige.
Maudlin shite for boxed wine and Prozac enthusiasts.
3
I don’t mind either of the brothers now or back in the Britpop years.
Yes they’re arrogant up-their-own-arses cunts, but then again quite a lot of pop, film and TV celebs/stars are as equally if not more cuntish in their behaviour to the people who made them stars in the first place.
Plus was it Noel or Liam that was knobbing an incredible cute Patsy Kensit back in the day?
As for Adildo – case in point to my comment above. Arrogant cow who makes a habit of making her audiences at concerts wait for as long as 90 minutes before she gets off her arse and does some oh-woe-is-me warbling, while telling hecklers to fuck off and die!
Perhaps she could identify as a trans-man. Shouldn’t take too long to transform over.
3
Adele and Noel have a lot in common.
Rich
boring
predictable
beige
ugly.
Neither is in my inner jukebox.
when Noel next goes for his hair cut round Paul Wellers he should ask him how to write something creative and interesting .
As for Adele, maybe your always being dumped because your a moaning cunt?
5
Perhaps Adildo should lez up with Susan Boyle, from X Factor.
A bit of scissoring and rug munching might just shut the moaning cow up for a few days!
2
Kensit fucked every pop star there was around in the 80s and 90s.
The quintessential Britpop starfucker.
2
A win-win for all concerned!
1
This is a bit of a strange nom. In fact it were a bit weird and sheeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiite!!
In the sunshhhhhheeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiine!!!!
Sometimes Noel talks sense.
I never got a break… I could’a had class. I could’ve been a contender. I could’a beena somebody. Instead of a bum, which is what I am.
2
These are crazy days, but they make me she-iiiiiine.
Yer know it’s gonna be Okee-aaaaay.
I’m just pleased that one person in the music game has the guts to call Adele crap, which she is.
2
A whole lotta woman, and a whole lotta crap.
1
Heard Oasis a couple of times, that was enough.
Heard Adele once.
Way too much
3
a trained monkey could do whateber oasis did,They were crap.
1
Then her debut.single….”Chasing Donuts”….(Chasing pavements)…?
0
Another thing I hate about Adele is she does the ‘let’s be friends’ bit.
The deep fried in syrup dirge ‘Someone Like You’ is complete bullshit.
Splitting up with someone, and squawking ‘I wish nothing but the best for you’.
First of all, we know she doesn’t mean it. And that she has been free with her fists with one or two of her exes.
Second, it is total crap. When there is a split (and especially a divorce) you hate each other and there is no love lost whatsoever. You don’t wish them ‘nothing but the best’, you want lightning to strike them. I fucking hated my ex-wife for a start, still do.
So Adele and Tubby Capaldi (who also dabbles in this shit) can stick their gracious in divorce bollocks up their fat arses.
1