Cunts who are slow to react when traffic lights turn green.
Bear with me for a moment…. When a train pulls out of a station,the last carriage has travelled the same distance as the first carriage. This doesn’t happen with a queue of cars.
If you happen to be in Plymouth when the lights change , there is a considerable delay between the first car passing through and the second car. God help you if you’re the third car because the lights will have already turned red.
This is a phenomenon that occurs at every traffic intersection in the city.
Why? You have to appreciate the thought processes that occur.
First driver in queue: “Duh the loight ‘as gone green….duz thaat mean that us can move forward?”
The second car in the queue, after a delay of sixty seconds , says “ the carr in frunt az started moovin, duz thaat mean us is allowed to go as well.?”
Hence the maximum number of vehicles that manage to get through a green light is 2.
It’s no use pressing your horn because their hearing has been damaged due to excessive masturbation that they can’t hear you.
Fuck off you inbred cretins.
Nominated by: cuntator
As a biker who can filter past the queues, I notice that most of the cunts are on their phones. There’s a bloke on Youtube on a bicycle who films them and reports them – he gets dozens a day – good.
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off topic, but I see that arse bandit mandelson has “married” some brazilian rent boy. what a cunt.
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Morning LC…let’s hope Mandy gets fast-tracked full-blown AIDS.
14
Showed his boyfriend in the papers. Looked about 30 unless it was an old picture I saw, but Mandy looked about 70 (which he is). I guess (and fucking well hope) it must be an old or deceiving picture.
Thing is, he says they’ve been an item for 20 years.
Fuck me, if my eyes did not deceive me, where did he meet the cunt?
A creche?
14
Hasn’t the cunt got anything better to do? Sad fucker. The only thing worse than a cyclist is a self-righteous, grassing cyclist and one who does so to get views on cunttube takes the biscuit.
5
Cunts who start tapping on their phones when the light is red piss me off. You can fucking guarantee they won’t move until they get beeped once it goes green.
Worth the death penalty I reckon.
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And even if you can’t see them doing it, you can bet it’s the reason they’re not moving on green.
Happens a lot more nowadays for example, doesn’t it?
5
Count yourself lucky you don’t have to experience the traffic lights in London.
Where the pecking order is cyclists, pedestrians, then cars.. which normally means about 15 seconds.
15 seconds where the cunt in front has got his smartphone out to send a email or text.
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That’s down to that little shit Suckdick Cunt. I use to drive in London a lot but with that and all the 20 mph restrictions, ULEZ and congestion charging if I have to go now it is on the train. OK if you’re not going on a work visit but when I wanted an open ended return from my Northamptonshire station it was about £120 2nd class.
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And of course, when he gets you out of your car and on to public transport he’s won.
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The brown goblin doesn’t want you out of your vehicle, he needs that revenue to fund the tfl finance black-hole.
Hence the continuing expansion of the charging zone..
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Good point Barry, I didn’t think it through. I guess the point I make is correct for the eco loons and yours is good for the goblin. Both points are of course, far from mutually exclusive.
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Traffic lights? Fuck me who works out the timings? Not only do you have the cunts who don’t understand you need to pay attention to the big lighty thing but you get at least two cunts ignoring red whilst you’re on a green and trying to turn right.
I’m sure they configure traffic lights to cause congestion.
7
Special place in hell for the ‘just one more’ cunts who go through way after it’s gone red, who then become an obstruction in the junction when the queue they’re following comes to a stop further on.
I’m not a road rage type (apart from constantly calling everyone else on the road a stupid cunt) but these fuckers might one day bring out the Joe Pesci in Goodfellas in me.
9
As I am usually at the front at lights, I never rave off as usually at least two cunts who go through a red on the other side.
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They should be up against the wall. Along with the city planners who appear to arrange for the next set a few yards down the road to go red as soon as you get passed the first set.
The tech is there to make a smoother flow possible.
Btw -when was last time you saw plod directing traffic after a light outage or roadworks?
5
Having never driven, I for a start got confused when a hamshankism was used instead of the British noun crossroads wasn’t used. People must learn, septic words get jump on for a pisstake.
1
I also enjoy CyclingMikey.
2
University challenge drivers, they give every fecker a starter for ten before they move off. Make me agitated beyond belief the fuckwits.
4
Here it’s, eeerrrr! The lights turned green!! Better put it in gear, then struggle to take off the handbrake they have yanked on, eeerrr! It’s now red. Cunts, as for those fucking button handbrake….
3
Yes indeed Harry, electric parking brakes, the devil’s own invention! I had a works Insignia with such, bane of my fucking life. A constant niggling annoyance but it’s party piece was when on occasion it failed to release automatically when you pulled away from a standstill. When you accelerated away with the back wheels locked and the tyres screaming as the car swung violently from side to side, as someone described the show, like a dog dragging it’s arse across the carpet.
5
My guess is that this is due to genetic red-green colour blindness caused by that popular Devonian sport of sister shagging.
5
Ya cheeky caaaahnt. From a proud Devonian.
1
On the odd occasion that I’m unfortunate enough to have to travel through Slough, the predominantly park key population have a different trick.
They dawdle along doing 20 in a 40 zone whilst approaching a green light.
Then, when the lights change to amber they slam their foot to the floor and take off like a rocket, leaving you stranded at a red.
They’re so slow that you soon catch up with them, just in time for the fuckers to try it again at the next set of lights.
Fucking rats on two legs!
11
They are just trawling for under age white girls, twenty is never plenty for those fuckers.
Eleven is heaven..
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Indeed. I would imagine most of them are local councillors too.
Dirty, filthy, minging, vile cunts!
Good morning.
7
The reason for such driving FMC, Barry is that they are trying to set up a prang in order to milk some poor white sods insurance. Another 100% indication is when there are several brown people in the car, that way it,s a bigger pay out and they have witnesses to tell the appropriate lies.
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If drivers don’t behave themselves at crossroads, there’s no alternative, but to bring back the old Bobby with the white sleeves. An extra job for him would be to confiscate any mobile phones being illegally used.
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That’s if they haven’t all been sacked for stopping and searching dark keys.
4
Too dangerous, and then it would have to be within a 30 second walk to a McDonalds or Kebab shop.
1
Spot on cunting, thats why i drive a ratty old x trail diesel, it has front wings made of plastic so deflects bumps very well, dawdling cunts. And wimminz at fuel stations, and maybe some chaps too, get in your car, start it up and fuck off, no need to check your phone, hair, make up, in the words of the mighty murray walker go go go.
7
Traffic light dawdlers, yes cunts indeed but not as big cunts as, cyclist who ride up the inside and the plonk themselves at the front of the queue, to a lesser extent motor bikes who do the same (on the outside and less frequent).
Not as big cunts as cyclists in general who just get in the fucking way, just fuck off and ride round a fucking velodrome 😂
5
You can’t win. The drivers behaving themselves to the maximum, must have a dead body in the boot. Especially if you’re a devious black cunt these days, who can’t be searched, you’ll be laughing. Remember the old esso sign means happy motoring they daren’t use anymore, is because they definitely had a dead body in the boot !
2
I thought the introduction of theory tests was meant to improve the standard of drivers, but things get worse year on year. It’s not just old biddy’s holding up the traffic nowadays, it strikes all ages.
And the cars people choose in relation to their ability amazes me.
Five foot nothing Asian wimminz driving fucking great big Audi Q7’s, inbred taxi drivers in big black Mercedes’, doddering old farts in V6 Jags that never go over 30, mums of two with 7 seater Galaxy’s covered in dents because they’re too fucking big for them, the list goes on.
If you can’t handle it, don’t fucking drive it.
3
The Galaxy with a bollard shaped dent in the rear is quite common around these parts.
Mummy’s been for a liquid lunch with other mummies but forgot she has to pick up Milo and Amelia at 3:45.
3
You cunts need to thank dog you don’t live in my neck of the woods. Our local ‘authority’ have installed traffic lights on every roundabout, junction and crossroads in and across the conurbation. To make matters worse the roundabouts all have secondary lights that don’t align and make you stop mid lane. Add that to the cunts who don’t look, drive too fast and are welded to their mongo communicators, it’s insurance claim heaven.
4
There aren’t any traffic lights in my small Town and only one set in the adjoining Town that’s only a gnats dicky larger.
1
In our 20mph Wales as soon as someone dordles even a little bit they get blasted with the horn and a tidal wave of very loud verbal abuse, all it has done is make people less tolerant that they were before and they weren’t tolarant before.
The slightest hesitation gets people badly berated, God help you if your a learner driver….
2
I find this happens because they’re looking at their phone. Ive seen it quite often in traffic jams as well. Space opens up in a lane and the car in front or to the side doesnt move. The driver is looking down towards the gear stick or trying to hide the phone down by the door.
2
I once fell asleep at the wheel in a jam one morning on the M1. Woke up 40 minutes later to a gap of 50 yards. No idea if anybody had beeped at me.
1
It’s much the same round here, Widnes. What pisses me off most is to be towards the back of a queue at the lights but with a decent chance of getting through only to see everybody move off sharpish until it comes the the cunt in front of me who leaves several cars’ lengths between himself and the one in front before moving off at a rate of acceleration slower than a 75,000 ton container ship navigating the locks on the Panama Canal. Drives me fucking mad and, if the wife’s not with me, the air is blue inside my heap.
1
I’m glad I no longer suffer rage at the wheel. I get impatient but I used to feel furious at other drivers for holding me up.
I put it down to libido. I was quite aggressive when I first got on the road, and not always because I was on my way to tear into some fanny down on the coast.
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