Storm Babet

Oh dear, Scotland. Quite unusually for October, it’s going to rain, but according to those “let’s freak everyone out, because we haven’t quite beaten them all into submission yet cunts” from the Groaner, it’s going to be a storm!

Wow! They’ve even named it, Babet ( pronounced Bar-bet, like you needed to know).
Since when did we start describing heavy rain and a bit of flooding as a “Storm” and naming it, like it’s an apolitical event, instead of a regular occurrence in late autumn/early winter

The Guardian

Look, you doom monkeys. Get a proper job, I hear McDonald’s are hiring, and stop making shit up.

We’ve already debunked your fucking “climate crisis” and COVID variants bother nobody.

We’re sick to bloody death of you, and I’m not listening any more.

MetOffice

Nominated by: Jeezum Priest

88 thoughts on “Storm Babet

  1. We will definitely experience weather. It’s your fault for existing. Let’s raise some more tax.

    Remember bad weather impacts ethnic minorities and transvestites much more than white men.

  2. It blew one of our bird houses down!!

    Luckily not any of the mock Tudor ones!

    It’s trail of devastation knows no bounds.

    Where do you put a claim in?

    Is it BREXITs fault?

      • Oh yes, they’re built with inclement weather in mind.
        Although a lot of leaves were blown up against them causing a possible slip risk.

        I’ve taken the liberty of closing off the footpath but really it’s the council’s job.
        They’re probably too busy devising ways of fleecing motorists and having equality and diversity meetings to worry about dangerous leaves.

  3. Babet is an old Anglo Saxon word meaning “shit yourself, run and hide and do everything we say if you want to survive”
    Actually, I just made that up but they fucking started it the cunts!

  4. Some cunts get ’emergency weather warnings’ on their mobiles when ever it is going to rain,just so they can shit themselves.

    It is raining here at the moment, it will probably be in the papers.

    Good morning, everyone.

  5. Reporting from middle England 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 this morning.
    Footpaths are definitely wet. Wear shoes.
    If you’re bald a Woolly hat will keep your head warm.
    No need to panic 😱 looks just like every other time we’ve had a “storm” over the last 60plus years.

    • I walked home from work yesterday in the pissing rain, got some shopping on the way, it all took about an hour and a half, I was completely fucking saturated when I got in, surely I am due some sort of award for this?

      • Stunning and brave. You faced up to Climate Change and we stand with you #stormvictim

        (Joking of course! No offence.)

  6. ” a risk to life ” in Scotland from babet.

    Maybe you should of taken swimming lessons instead of all that Highland dancing.

    I swim like a fish, and drink like one on occasions..

  7. October has been warm until last Saturday.
    “Cwimate chaaange!”
    But…. July was wet and temperatures were average.
    “That’s not important because waaaaaah, cwimate chasange!”

    It reminds me of that scene in King Lear:
    “Blow, winds, and crack your cheeks! rage! blow! You cataracts and hurricanoes, spout. Waaaa, cwimate chaaange!”

  8. This sort of exciting news is perfect for mental weaklings and vegetarians,who are the only fucking idiots that read this rag.

    It’s a well disguised fact that Britain invented rain and probably gusty wind as well so fuck off.

  9. I’ve said it before, giving storms names is fucking childish.
    When the idea was launched, we were told that it was to help people remember, the patronising cunts.
    Now, as you could easily predict, they’re using it for operation climate fear. Any weather event we’d have once classed as normal is portrayed as Armageddon.
    The met office has always been an old boys club, but now it’s a political propaganda outlet.
    Even the weather forecast is a party political broadcast nowadays.

  10. There’s not so much as a breeze now.
    Still.
    Silent.
    Is this the eye of the storm?

    Storms are incredibly dangerous!

    A friend of a friend was in one,
    And it lifted her house clean up into the air!

    When it landed she found a crushed witch underneath!

    She was prosecuted for religious intolerance and death by dangerous driving.

    • Thought just the same mis eye 👁 storm. It was all so quiet.
      Till some Icelandic bird started screaming.

  11. What we need is a good right wing weather channel. The craziness of that statement!

  12. They name nasty storms with boy’s and girl’s names which is really horrid.

    Storm George.

    If I was called George then I would be sad if a storm was named after me and that’s not fair.

    Storms should be named after horrible things.

    Storm Brexit.
    Storm Trump.

    That will certainly give the far right extremists something to think about.

    Babet is an Israeli name for a girl.

    Well done!
    I am happy about that.

    • I don’t ever recall a Storm Mohammad.
      Could it be that giving a storm that name would be deemed offensive to a certain demographic?

  13. Me and Ethel laugh in the face of danger.

    Therefore, the luxury motorhome will be heading to Shropshire tomorrow.

    Living on the edge 😀

    Get To Fuck.

    Doomongers.

  14. ever since that cunt weather bloke on itv has a go at morgan they seem to have elevated him into some kind of huge celebrity by giving him a near half hour of fucking weather and shipping him all over the country just to show some flowers are out in devon.

    cunts

    • Fortunately if you have been watching Celebrity Race Across The World whoever made the programme has given the cunt a right shoeing. He comes across as an absolute piece of pussy and even his father, a decent bloke, looks embarrassed by his antics.

  15. Is Brigitte Bardot coming out of retirement with “Babette Goes to War ll” ? It won’t be a pretty sight.

  16. I am on a wine tasting/ getting pissed trip to the Greece this week. Most of the others on the trip are from within the M25 with all their liberal certainties about climate change and everything else. Tuesday morning saw us standing in a field taking to a Greek winemaker, a former chemical engineer, who said that he had been studying the climate in detail for the last 30 years and said he had noticed no change whatsoever. Summers were hot, winters were cold and rainfall about the same as in 30 or 40 years ago. The extremes in climate variation were nothing new and no different from previously. You could have cut the atmosphere with a knife. 😃

    • its amazing how we have got to the point in this country that there are cunts out there who would stand there in disbeleivement that someone would say such a thing.

      i am sure these limp wristed social media followers would have been less offended had the bloke said he wanted to shag all their mothers up the arse.

  17. Will there ‘thunderbombs’ and, on high ground, ‘snowbombs’ as the written by and for pre-school children Dailies Express and Mail would put it?

  18. In this year’s rock climbing contests, there will be the normal “climb mate change” going on. Someone always breaks their neck. Did my best.

  19. Has anyone else noticed that these storms have gotten worse since they started giving them names.
    Fkin knobjockeys.

  20. Wish it’d snow.🌨️
    If I could get my hands on some of them ‘snowbombs’ I’d hold the country to ransom.

    Drop one on Notting hill carnival

    Drop one on Glastonbury

    Like a Bond villian.

    Dr Sno.

    Sorry. TAXI!!!

  21. Coldfinger
    From Russia with gloves
    Licensed to chill
    Pathraker

    Sorry.
    I need help☹️

  22. Anytime soon the Express will be announcing the apocalypse with stories of ( this will be the worst winter in living memory) and pictures of snow drifts 10 foot high. They do it every year and of course it never happens

    • The BBC will tell us how the NHS wil be close to breaking point this winter as well as how awful all the old white people who’ve paid in are for needing it.

      Stay at home or we’ll put you in one after you’ve been seen to, mugs.

Comments are closed.