Magic Shows and Street Magic

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There’s never been any amazement in it for me. It was bad enough as a kid but when adults pay to be duped by a bloke with a mullet or a swarthy gentleman on da streetz, it says something about our society. It’s all a bit infantile.

I like street magic the least. I’s just an attempt to make the trade of Paul Daniels hip and down with the kids. David Blaine pretending to levitate, Dynamo pretending to walk on water.
Who thinks this crap is real?
Who is even diverted for two seconds?
Even as a child it was boring load of cunt, as it was all sleight-of-hand. Pulling flowers or handkerchiefs out of your arse? Nah, I would rather sit and read books on astronomy. Far more interesting, because it’s fucking real (unless you’re one of these mongs who doesn’t believe in space)

My peers spent many hours cooing and clapping over the stunts performed by Blaine. That’s all they ae though, stunts. it was another example of the Emperor having no clothes. How is a man pretending to fly magical? Being trapped in a box suspended over London. Thrilling.

There’s only one magician who was worth watching, but he’s no longer on TV.
In truth thought he was a bit of a goody-two-shoes and his excitable pal was a lot more entertaining.

Of the two selective mutes I know of, he’s still got a lot more going for him than Greta.

YouTube

Much more entertaining – and grown-up – than David Blaine or Dynamo.

He and Paul Daniels worked because they met the British public’s expectations of the level magic shows should remain – children’s entertainment.
Now you get these blokes in their 30s who want to be American and think street magicians are cool. I bet they wear back-to-front baseball caps and only listen to American music and have visited America ten times but only New York or the West coast.

Fuck off you imbeciles. If you want to experience a genuine sense of wonder read a book or watch a documentary about the natural world.

Nominated by: Cuntamus Prime

49 thoughts on “Magic Shows and Street Magic”

  1. Always preferred sooty..” no you racists the puppet ”
    And he knew how to keep a secret..

    • Ali Bongo was the best. He’s be cancelled now – cultural appropriation or some such shit.

    • Sorry Geordie. Didn’t realise you’d mentioned Nixon earlier. That’s a magic trick in its self.

    • FFS. How many more cunts are they going to bring in? What is an acceptable population for the UK? 70 million, 80 million, 200million?

  4. Does anyone remember when that Blaine prick was starving himself in that box suspended next to the Thames? People were firing golf balls at it and I recall that dome cheeky scallywag drone flew a McDonald’s bag around the box.
    Sometimes I’m proud to be English…that’s how to deal with American show-offs.

  7. Sideshows at fair grounds were best. As a nipper I pestered my father to take me in to see ‘The Incredible Ratwoman’. Eventually he gave in and we went into a darkened tent along with a couple of dozen other mugs.The lights went up to reveal a big sort in a nightie, sitting in a cage playing with three timid looking rodents. A life lesson about fools and their money if ever there was one.

    Other ‘experiences’ that the barkers sought to sell included ‘The Man Eating Chicken’ and ‘The Human Aquarium’. Though the latter was apparently quite impressive. A man would down half a bucket of water that contained live goldfish . After a few moments he would then regurgitate it back into the bucket and, ‘Hey Presto’ the goldfish were still swimming around. No cunt could convince me that was not worth a tanner to have witnessed.

    Good morning, everyone.

    • Sorry CP, I love street magic!!❤️

      That weirdo David Blaine,
      Dynamo, -brilliant!

      Me and the missus watched a really good one in York.

      And once went a posh wedding where the only good thing was a magician wandering around the guests,
      He put a cigarette straight through mrs Miserables hand and out the back!!

      I don’t like stage magic much though.

      Those yank puffs with tigers,
      Or that boring little cunt Paul Daniels,
      Card tricks bore the shit out of me.

      • I magicked your wallet out of your back pocket Miserable.

        COTY Premium Gold Card, KKK Grand Wizard business card – Stockport chapter and an expired coupon for 15% off a sac crack and wax treatment.

  8. Street magicians wouldn’t get a look in, in Sheffield.

    It’s buskers every 20 feet, usually some scruffy Eastern European type playing the same three notes at random on a plastic recorder, with an empty paper cup at his feet.

    Oh, the culturally diverse richness is overwhelming!

  9. It’s hard as fuck,
    These magicians have to spend countless hours on these tricks,
    Over and over and over till it’s seamless.

    If your shy like me or a Billy nomates ,
    Suggest you learn a few simple magic tricks!

    Do em in a pub?
    Everyone will chat to you

    But you best practice and do it well!

  10. Wow CP,
    You make a wild assumption here – “read a book”?
    Many of these imbeciles are probably not capable of such a feat without following the words with their finger. And even then, someof the words would defeat them”

  11. Saddam Hussain was the best magician who ever lived.
    All those weapons of mass destruction Tony told us he had, and he made them disappear.
    Now that’s magic.

    • Suprised the Blair cunt hasn’t disappeared in a cloud of his own self righteousness and megalomania, I would pay anything to see him and Mrs vanish off the face of the planet. Who ever accomplished that would be the best magician of all time.

      • I thought the latter day Messiah was going to bring lasting peace to the middle east? Like he erased boom and bust and introduced us poor, unenlightened gammons to the wonders of cultural diversity.

  12. Haven’t we all had enough of black magic to last us a lifetime. Even when the act is over, they don’t fuck off back home.

  13. Why don’t they bring back the trapdoor act, the one that has a rope attached to the neck.

  15. Rishi and Jeremy are magicians.

    They keep making my money disappear 😭

    And they’re just the warm up act for Kweer !

    Get To Fuck.

    • Svengali was very manipulative at making things happen. The House of Commons is full of them.

  16. David Lammy is a magician.

    He said “the world doesn’t need anymore white saviours” and donations for Comic Relief dropped £8m from the previous year.

    • Good. After Blackadder Richard Curtis stared making those terrible films.

      Never gave his shite charity a penny, not even when Rik Mayall was involved that one year.

  19. I find a well executed magic trick good, but incredibly rare. I also feel that magicians are in the same league as clowns, as it is seen as an archaic form of entertainment. I do however feel, as an artist, that it covers a lot of impressive imagery, particularly in stage illusion design, as well as magicians assistants. I think the street magic movement thankfully died a long time ago, and I long for the spectacle of the 80s and the 90s to return again, even though it will not in our current age.

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