Goodbye, Holly Willoughby (3)

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Shock, horror, I’m devastated and distraught that Holly Chipmunk Cheeks has quit her job!

Whatever will I do without her blatantly insincere expressions of shock or horror to guide me towards the appropriate response to whatever she’s reporting on.

How can I ever forget her relentless campaigning against climate change as she bravely boarded that helicopter that whizzed her to and from Glastonbury.

BBC News

Her and Carol Voldemort are poured out from the same mould. Has anyone ever seen them in the same room?

Nominated by: Jeezum Priest

65 thoughts on “Goodbye, Holly Willoughby (3)”

    • I have to readily admit I’d would love to jizz on her facial expression after a tit wank from The one with the big fake tits.

      • Holly Willoughby’s arsehole probably tastes better than most girl’s fannies.

        An awful, insincere, back-stabbing selfish, hypocrital cunt she may be, but I would gladly empty my sack all over her.

        She used that stalker nutter (Cunt Engine?) as a good excuse to quit before she got potted once itv carries out its enquiry into Schofield’s teenage runner bummer episodes.

        Did she know Schofield was bumming a young runner on set, getting him a job simply because he wanted to bum him?

        What do you reckon?

  3. Good riddance, she’s had a good run, being ditzy and blonde only gets you so far and it isn’t a great look for middle age.

  4. Only quit this morning jp..
    And to be fair I wouldn’t want to share a sofa “yeah share” with that land whale Hammond.

    You haven’t seen the last of that mensa member. She will be poached by the bbc to probably host news night..

  6. Although I definitely would – Holly Willoughby is a fucking nutjob.

    She’s got the eyes of a deranged serial killer.

    That so called special friendship she shared with Brave Phil, was as sincere as Sadiq Khan’s support for the trans community.

    • Morning HJ…I wonder if Phil would’ve had a go if she’d offered?
      Maybe fruits wouldn’t mind bumming a lady.
      Here’s hoping that Holly moves over to Onlyfans before age claims her.

      • Interesting question Thomas – would a fruity gent do a lady up the jacksie on regular basis and live normally as man and woman?

      • My sister was married to a fruity gentleman and has two daughters, I think he is the “natural” father of both of them. I have always wondered if she had to turn over for him.

  7. Nice to look at, boring to listen to.
    If this woman’s intellect is a requirement for employment, then she’d better have put away lots of her overpaid wages to avoid starvation.

    However, I see she used to model lingerie for Pretty Polly.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uv5LmIitQe0
    The horn section will love that advert.

  8. Nobody who works for a living gives a single shiney shit because we’re out grafting when she’s on the idiot lantern.

  9. It only took a death threat to get rid of her!!

    You’d of thought she’d have had loads wouldn’t you?

    Some people can’t handle criticism

    • Did you see the size of the incel cunt who wanted to kidnap and murder her?

      If you can’t out run that fat fucker, you deserve to be kidnapped.

    • A pity somebody doesn’t offer the same threat to Lady Nugee. Shitting her bloomers in public wouldn’t be a good look, but…..

  11. Marty feldman lookalike winner. Whatever will we do without this vacuous blow up doll. Never watched this morning, aint going to start now. What has happened to the presenters of today, are they manufactured in cuntworld or somewhere. Nobody like the late great brian walden anymore, all fucking lightweights too frightened to push the boundary through fear of getting told off or sacked.

    • I know exactly what you mean DC. I used to listen to the 08:45 slot on Radio4 on Sunday morning in the olden days when it was occupied by Brian Walden or pundits of equivalent experience and percpicacity. I gave up listening during the headlong rush down market by the BBC. Last time I heard it half the folks on there were so thick they were propagating belief in a god.

  12. I wish I’d have tried harder at being a blonde airhead instead of studying for electrical engineering….!

    What is Holly Willoughby’s net worth?

    According to Heart Holly Willoughby’s net worth stands at around £10 million due to “all her TV gigs and her interior design venture with Dragon’s Den dragon, Peter Jones”.

    Meanwhile, Finty estimates her net worth to be $14.4 million, which equates to £11.7 million.

  13. It all seems like a smokescreen to me.
    She gets a death threat, old bill nick the alleged perpetrator and she resigns. Yet she’ll still be presenting Britain’s got the X Factor on Ice, or whatever it’s called, and you can bet ITV will find some other shit for her to do.
    Hardly a case of leaving the limelight to protect her family is it?
    I foresee a tabloid exclusive about her ‘horror’ that neatly coincides with the launch of a new lowest common denominator tv show for wimminz she’ll be presenting.

    • By ancient decree ,

      “To the victor go the spoils”

      So the fat lad who sent her death threats by rights should be on the sofa in her place.

      It’d make that fat blob of shite Alison Hammond appear slimmer,
      And they’d have more in common

  16. Wee Krankie got her to resign her vital post so she could spend more time sat on her face.

    Allegedly to oven.

  18. Whilst discussing a nonentity halfwit of whom I’ve only witnessed photographs of, looking the way I described her, another subject crossed my mind that’s never been mentioned on here, that even scientists don’t have the understanding of and that is. Exploding Head Syndrome. Don’t worry everyone. I’ve had experiences of it and its completely harmless. There are moments when at such times when going off to sleep, you experience a loud bang inside your head and that’s all it is. At the moment l’m in remission from it. Not had a spell of it in quite awhile.

    • I decided to Google that, Sammy, because it’s something I have experienced occasionally, but accidentally typed Exploding Heart Syndrome and damned near cacked myself.

  19. She’s going to start hanging around street corners swapping blow jobs for £5 bags of crack.

  20. you have to ask yourself……was she so talented, that she made this Good Morning programme a unique televisial feast that no one could ever take her place and the programme would fail without her?

    hmmmmmm…….

  21. More fun uk news, border farce has been dispatched to Egypt to rescue 200 gaza Britons..

    What’s the betting they come back with 2000 hamas headbangers instead..
    Mind how you go..

    • Haha the fucking Border Farce?

      Those cunts will get kidnapped as soon as they land the baffled clowns that they are.

      I hope.

      • What we call “Doing a Terry” in my circle Unk. No reflection on your good self; refers to that great intellect Terry Waite.

      • What’s happening then?

        Are the ‘Brits’ going to get a dingy out, to picked up a mile offshore by Border Farce?

    • “200 Gaza Britons”

      Unelected Jockanese first minister Hamza Yousaf, will not doubt be laying the red tartan carpet out for them as we speak.

      • Jockicuntistani rather than Jockanese, and that’s a ‘red tartan extra fucking long prayer mat’ rather than a carpet the cunt will be extending.

        We can’t fucking win, vote out the SNP to get rid of this unelected cunt of a toffee bon-bon, we end up with another one courtesy of Liebour’s colonial office in Scotland.

        Glasgow southside is already a lost cause, give it another 5-10 years or so and you’ll be hearing the call to prayer of the Glesga Caliphate – Allza Akbar ya bass! in every corner of the dump, even out in leafy Newton Mearns (Glasgow, but not…).

    • You can bet your arse they are going to be given nice dwellings to live in, phones, money, food, schooling, a right of knees up in blightly.

      On the other hand, my mum gets fuck all and she is struggling and has been a tax payer for over 45 years.

      Cunts.

  22. The piece of meatless soy meat wot’s decaying in me fridge is more real than this plastic inane sqeaking self serving slag.

  23. bit too miss goody two shoes for me. just like that rachel riley…not bad to look as but dont ooze sex appeal and are most likely a boring vanilla shit fuck.

    you can always tell if a bird is a good fuck by the way they dance…..you only had to watch riley on strictly to know what i mean.

  25. All this crap because her co presenter bummed the runner. Fuck off for Gods sake, how much more of this arsewipe rubbish does a man running out of meds have to put up with.

  27. I bet she was sacked.

    Apparently, she is a bitch and a fucking horror to work with/for.
    Just like that cunt Cilla. As fake as fuck and horrible to ‘ordinary’ staff and people. She is suppoed to make Mariah Carey look like an amateur.

    Imagine the poor fuckers at ITV, having to tolerate her and Schofield?
    Her ‘sad’ and ‘sincere’ look when pathetic cunts phoned into the This Morning advice line made her the most slappable woman in the UK.

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