This has probably been touched on before. Nevertheless, I can’t help myself but post another nomination for cunts utterly and completely engrossed with their bleedin’ phones!
Not only here in England, but during my 3 month sojourn in Denmark, I couldn’t help but notice how many people were staring at their phones despite their immediate situation and possible risk of being killed by car/train/tram/lorry!
In a Danish restaurant we noticed a party of 8 at a table, 7 of whom were staring at their phones while the 8th (a baby) was probably wondering why he/she/it was sucking on the teat of mudder!
In a Danish park, you had a couple sitting on a park bench, both of whom were looking at their phones, probably texting one another rather than actually bothering to speak!
At a Danish lake, I actually saw some bloke dressed in scuba gear about to wade out in the lake or river, but he took his phone with him so that he could probably check his Facebook page while 200 feet underwater.
Now I know I’m no saint when it comes to looking at my phone. But I tend to draw the line in pubs/restaurants and busy streets. But for a lot of people their phone seems to be part of the family, seemingly umbilically attached to one’s hand almost from the point of birth!
It won’t be too long before we forget how to visibly speak. Instead we’ll just text. So you can imagine the scenario when you want to fuck some young tart. Don’t bother speaking, just text from the moment you’ve got her in the bedroom to the point where mission accomplished and you’re wiping your dick on the curtains!
“Was it gd 4 u. babe?”
“Yeh. Ur d best”
Nominated by Technocunt.
Wouldn’t it be hideous if we all carried government tracking devices about with us,so they could see and hear everything we do.
Thankfully that could never happen..
Morning gents.
30
When you are being tracked by your phone you will disappear from time to time as you lose coverage between cells. If you switch off your phone while within coverage the system will know and flag it up immediately. If you go into a spot without cover and switch off your phone then you can vanish with a head start, the system will sit there waiting for you to surface. At this point you can exit Tesco via the back entrance of the car park and bugger off along the canal tow path.
9
Scandinavians innit? Fucking cunts beat the fuck out of us back in the day but try raising the subject of reparations with them. Fucking white bastards don’t want to know. Fuck those Viking cunts and fuck that Thunderbirds bitch!
9
Best watch it, she’ll do you:
https://imageproxy.ifunny.co/crop:x-20,resize:640x,quality:90×75/images/a70e4ff5ab6a5e628270f82fed8155f3e45d67921302887f1ef0f54a5d8336b8_1.jpg
2
Greta Thumper.
2
Quite sexy, arms like Marjorie Taylor Green.
3
Wait for the coming day when you will be restricted to 1 hour a day phone use, to save the planet..
Cue mass suicide..
Though the dullards will have to wait 24 hours to find the best methods on the Web.
12
Am I the only person in the world who doesn’t have a mobile phone?
6
Probably Geordie.
7
Probably GT…even Sasha Johnson has one. She watches Peppa Pig on it.
9
Yes.
4
I’m partly one, due to my partner leaving me hers for safekeeping. Sometimes I forget to take it with me, still after 3 years.
2
I’ve got one Geordie, but the number of people who have my number I can probably count on one hand. These days every cnut that you encounter asks for your number, but I tell then to fuck off (nah – I just tell then I don’t have one).
My mobile phone is for MY convenience – not fucking cold callers.
5
Definitely not.
I’ve never had one.
2
I’m always mentioning on here about the generational of humpback zombies with large thumbs. They’ll become part of the clear up areas when the dustcart cleans the streets before the main body of the public take to the roads at the start of another day.
3
Oh, and good morning all.
2
CrazyShit is the place to go for out and about users, flying through the air with the greatest of ease, now without the trapeze.
0
The thing I’ve noticed, aside from the hunched back and large thumbs, is that some people don’t realise you can put the phone to your ear to listen to the other caller. They wander along with the phone in front of them, shouting into it and listening on speaker. Any idea why?
13
Their thumbs are getting heavier due to over use. Some are beginning to look like crabs already and the walking sideways doesn’t help.
4
So you’ll notice them.
” Look at me! I’ve got friends!”
Also conducts loud conversations on public transport, as if there’s a magical soundproof forcefield surrounding them.
But the absolute knobends are the ones with earbuds, listening to Dylan Mulvanneys latest podcast, who amble oblivious into the road.
7
They give you brain cancer, and bad memory, remember!
1
They are doing the ugly kisser to ugly kisser thing with it in front of themselves.
2
It’s mostly Africunts or Jamaicunts that do this.
Obviously don’t understand de white bwana voodoo and think the other person is actually in de likkle box.
8
Cunts in cars with the phone “hidden” on the leg or lap and on the motorway in the middle lane. We are doomed with these fucking things. The bit i like is when my dear wife is pretending to watch hollyoaks or some other awful fucking shit show and the phone is out tappety tap tap. I was watching that, no you were imagining it love.🤯
2
The law find out what these drivers were up to when the wreckage is thoroughly searched.
3
Bit fucking late then!
3
The smart phone appears to have replaced most of the human brain these days for a lot of people, in essence you have a computer at your finger tips, it all started with not having to remember any phone numbers right through to now where you dont need to know anything at all.
Subsequently humans of a certain age are fucking retards without a shred of common sense, not a single thought of their own bounces around in the empty space their brain used to occupy.
Dirty Harriet and i drive into work every day and we see school kids all glued to their phones shuffling along in groups txting each other in abbreviated bollocks that makes no sense M8.
Maybe they think theirs safety in numbers like wilder beast, maybe one of them will look out for traffic when they try to cross a road, which is just as dangerous as a crocodile infested Zambezi river if you dont look of course .
Then of course you have the more commonly spotted, ganja reeking, hoody with headphones in riding a leccy bike or scooter whilst texting his bra,s.
Then you have the permanent selfie/ phot takers takers desperately trying to get themselves doing a handstand on the edge of a cliff or wheelying their bikes into oncoming traffic, the saving grace her is natural selection rids us all of these oxygen theives pretty sharpish and good enough.
The world ifs fucked, when the older generation die off, how are these cunts ever going to survive, there must be at least one practical guy required ti make the 5G network work, what happens if some thing happens to him……Phone zombies extinct and fucking good riddance
12
Star Trek science fiction is now state of the art fact…Tricorder and Communicator in one convenient device.
“Scotty! Lock onto their signal. Beam these dead behind the eyes Zombies into deep space.”
6
We’re catching up in something’s, if only their 5 minute thought surgery was technologically easier to grasp.
1
Although transporters, replicators and holodecks using matter seems a bit too far-fetched to me nowadays.
2
It’s here
https://youtu.be/z5LW07FTJbI?feature=shared
1
Don’t panic everyone suer Rishi is in India, there to save us all.
I bet all those dirty daki business are lining up to palm his hands with poppadum’s at the through of all the deals they can slip past his big ears.
Expect a lot more curry houses in the UK soon my fellow cunters.
2
** Super Rishi
2
** Thought
Fuck me, heat and lack of sleep is turning me into a special one.
You know the type. the ones that sit on the sunshine bus, licking the windows.
2
You mean a spastic?
5
I wanted to write that CP but was worried the moderation police would hold it back 😂😂😂
2
I remember when I was on Twitter some cunt explaining the lengths he went to to avoid being tracked. I had to point out to him he was using Twitter, but apparently that’s ‘essential’.
Sums up most of the people on that platform pretty nicely.
5
I’ve never had one of the things.
When I tell people this they look at me as though I’m mad.
‘How on earth do you manage?’ they squeak in amazement.
I somehow manage to struggle by.
Morning all.
6
Neither have I. What’s the chances of falling down the same empty well ? At least we could laugh about it.
3
Its a pity the mobile phone wasn’t invented when miracles were being performed and spaceships were landing.
2
Technology gets on my fucking tits to be honest.
Trying to speak to a human voice for any form of reassurance regarding financial transactions for example is nigh on impossible.
email this email that.
Log on to Facebook this or Twatter that.
FUCK OFF
5
I’ve got a basic nokia which makes and receives calls and that’s it.
No camera, apps, gizmos or any other crap.
I hardly ever switch it on either.
2
It’s all OK
2 possibilities.
1. These stupid cnuts just disapoear up their social media invented arses and leave the real world to the few of us left
.2. Darwin Award self nominees eliminate themselves from the gene pool by walking under buses while updating their wankface/instacnut profiles about their mochachino whale sp*nk frappe arse juice cupful of w*nk.
Not only a hope but a fervent prayer.
3
They are fuckin everywhere. Zombies ruled by the fuckin mobile phone. Its like those old films where an injection was administered into the neck and complete control was gained over the poor cunt who got jabbed. If the so called world order wanted to gain control over the world population just issue the cunts with a free mobile phone.
0