I’ve just been to Aldi to pick up tea after work.
Big bag of stuff, and I got to the checkout and it’s just one till.
5 others empty, but all the self scan ones open.
Some Boris Karloff looking cunt went behind a checkout
MNC ” are you opening up this checkout?”
BK “No”
MNC ” there’s a massive queue! Will another be opening?”
BK ” No”
MNC ” is there a manager about?”
BK ” I am a manager”
MNC ” then pick this up ”
And I emptied my bag all over the checkout.
Not once did he call me sir or smile.
The squareheaded rude cunt.
Nominated by Miserable Northern Cunt.
Oh I can so relate to this cunting Miserable northern cunt, C.A.
Aldi.. how common..
I get all my groceries from fortnum and masons..
You were probably lucky he didn’t knife you..
18
I also do the same at my local Fortnum & Masons. The string quartet are much more pleasanter sound than piped music. They don’t even mind me bashing my trolley into their expensive cello.
8
I’m shocked, Mis. You actually shop in Aldi?
I won’t be seen dead in anything less than Waitrose. You get a better class of shoplifter in Waitrose.
12
Ethel will shoplift nowhere else.
And she’ll pick your pocket ever so gently.
Flash you a big smile 😊
And bid you a cheery good morning.
As will I.
Good morning. 👍
13
I trust Ethel nicks only the hand-picked, line-caught, organic, free-range, vegan, Fairtrade quinoa that hasn’t been tested on animals, Jack.
I do think it’s important to know the source of one’s stolen goods, both for one’s health and to save the polar bears.
12
Only the best.
I won’t eat any old shite.
8
It’s the clever tea leafs that got to stay in the Home islands rather than get sent to the antipodes. Hats off to dear Lady Ethel.
7
LOL 😂
3
Waitrose always makes me chuckle.
Pre boiled and peeled eggs. For people who can’t boil an egg.🤣
And pre peeled oranges, for those who can’t peel an orange.😀
The Mrs sometimes favours Morrisons, but I like the M&S Food Hall.
Afternoon Jack.👍
5
Good afternoon Norman.
Hope you are well 👍
2
Not just Waitrose, even the Co-op does peeled hard-boiled eggs and they come with a portion of salad cream!
Carrot batons, pre-sliced mushrooms, chopped onion.
No-one knows how to cook from scratch, which makes me wonder why there’s so many cooking programs on the idiot box.
I did used to enjoy the Two Fat Ladies, though. No shame, no healthy this or that, just pile on the sugar and butter.
6
Only things I’ve ever bought from M&S are the ready to eat jar of diced onions and caramelised onion chutney Norm. Both were very tasty to be fair and not unreasonably priced either.
(And no, I am not too lazy to chop an onion – I just hate doing it. Cba with the eye irritation).
1
For someone with country cream gates, I would expect you to be rather more upmarket than Aldi.
11
A common occurrence across the cuntry, MNC.
At our Tesco there is only ever one of the eight (fucking eight) tills open. The reason is that they don’t want you to pay cash (card payments enables authorities to keep track of where you are and what you are doing), and they want to photograph you checking out in case you nick stuff. They start from a position that all customers are probably thieves This is the fucked up shit hole that is today’s Great Britain. They are readying themselves for the new majority of colourful chappies, shifty immie cunts and arseless druggies who will nick anything that doesn’t move fast enough.
I asked a ‘manager’ how long they kept the footage of shoppers taken by their checkout cameras, and who they shared it with. She claimed she did not know. Lying tart. So now I wait patiently in the queue of old ladies for the single manned till. The time is fast approaching when I will starve to death because because I will not comply with the ongoing programme of oppression that has been marked out for us. Fuck right off.
Good morning, everyone.
32
I wish it was just Aldi but it’s the same for all supermarkets. My local Asda now has about 12 checkouts left but it’s rare to see more than 1, sometimes 2, open. Everybody is forced to queue for the self service checkouts. I was in Sainsbury’s yesterday, pretty busy, 1 checkout open. I noticed they’ve also installed barriers and whatnot so you have to scan your receipt to exit the self checkout area. Nice to know they think everybody is a fucking thief. Cunts.
18
Sainsbury’s is now verboten in Chez Norman. Due to their apartheid in reverse blacks get separate special rest rooms bollocks.
9
I don’t mind using the self service checkout, but having to wait for an assistant to approve my purchases of wine, beer and even Monster energy drinks is an absolute arse.
There’s usually only one person doing this, and the second the light starts flashing, they go blind, sometimes I feel like I might as well have queued at the sole manned checkout anyway.
16
The thing that boils my piss, the bloody staff having a mother’s meeting. Fucking yapping away while you stand at the self service check out. Fucking lazy cunts. Usually of the fagg0t persuasion. You have one job, now fucking do it!
10
I’m speculating about what was in that bag. Obviously a jumbo pack of black pudding, half a dozen Ginsters, a one gallon jerrycan of gravy and a copy of Razzle.
21
The staff in Aldi lack any kind of customer service. Just run about pulling fork lifts pallets etc knocking into anyone not quick enough to get out of their way.
Aldi’s bog roll is top quality and cheap. Everything else is just cheap and nasty 🤮
14
Well , yesterday I went to Lidl in Stockport.
Fuck Aldi.
It was a completely different experience.
Like a magical consumer sleigh ride !
I bought 2 racks of BBQ ribs for tea,
And lo, that long lost favourite of mine,
Rum & raisin ice cream ❤️
Not seen that in donkeys years,
I was thrilled to bits.
The customer service was non existent same as Aldi but the products better.
Aldi can suck my balls the awful cunts.
12
Did you see the Joe Joyce v Zhang rematch last night Mis?
2
No pal, was going to watch it today .
Any good?
2
Fuckin ell Herman!
Just saw the result on the online news?!!
Was a bit knackered from work yesterday,
And had got my nut down early.
Wow, didn’t see that coming!!
I don’t know anything about this Chinaman Zhang.
Poor Joe😁
3
Yeah big Zhang man throws some decent leather doesn’t he.
Although it must be said that poor Joe has to be one of the easiest boxers to land a clean smack on in the history of the division.
Don’t know where he’s been hiding all these years but at 40 years old he can’t have too long left to get his hands on a title.
Never seen Joe look as slow and tired as he did last night. Time to retire I reckon.
4
I am surprised that MNC shops at Aldi.
It’s owned by Germans.
All this time he has been eating foreign muck.
13
I too shop in Aldi, we were there once and some bint directing sheep (sorry customers) says self checkouts open sir. Me do I get a 10% discount if I self checkout? Her no, well then open another fucking till then. One soon opened. As Fletcher said, little victorys
15
Never used a self service checkout. Don’t know how they work. Not planning to learn.
13
Try my method arfur.
Go to the self service till then seek out the supervisor. Play the confused old git routine (not difficult in my case). Tell her you can’t work out how the thing works and ask her to help you. She’ll then scan the whole lot for you and you’ll be out of the place faster than if you’d queued at the manned till. Sorted.
11
Geordie/arfur.
I’m lucky because Younger takes me shopping, and she’s a Tech Wizard.
If it weren’t for the lasses, I’d be living in a hole in the garden, with a guttering candle for light and heat.
3
Good Morning
You’re lucky MNC, our local Sainsburys, a mini store, took out all the service tills apart from one and replaced it them with self service tills. All the old dears (having been for my Covid and ‘flu jabs this week I realise I am now in this category ) stood around looking perplexed the first week.
Lack of customer service is down to a lot of things, a failing education system and immigration of the world’s lower grades being just two of them. I would rather talk and swear at a machine than many of the young knobheads the shops employ.
10
Every time you go shopping simply fill up your trolley with just less than £200 worth of stuff and bypass the tills and self service checkouts all together.
9
Apparently AC a lot of inexpensive drinks 🍺 are procured in this manner and then sold off at half price!!
Shop lifting Cunt s
5
I don’t like doing the fucking trolley version of the Hokey 🇩🇪 Cokey in Aldi and Lidl when:
“We are opening till 7 for you.”
“We are closing till 7, please use another till.”
Continues ad infinitum…
8
What might be a jolly wheeze is when there is only self service tills open ask one of the shop cunts, are you opening a till? No? Then put this fucking lot back. CUNT
9
What are they doing, selling food at a car showrooms ? I’ll be on my bike.
5
I avoid these ghastly scenes by simply sending Mrs Terry into the fray instead.
It really does work awfully well.
Morning Gents.
6
It’s not much to ask.
The yanks excel at it,
We used to be great at it!
Good customer service.
As you step through the automatic doors
” morning sir!
May I take your hat and Cape?”
A stick and umbrella stand (Oak) just inside the door.
A trolley is delivered to me by a livered employee,
I flip him a shiny 50p
” why thank you sir!”
He gushes.
When I get to the checkout a small negro polishes my boots while I stand in line
” that’ll do Bogey”
And flip him a 20p
” thanks boss! Dats mighty nice of you!”
He gushes.
I pay the till lady with a crisp £50 note
” I like your hair today Sheila”
She blushes.
” I had it done for you Mr Miserable, I know you prefer it wore up”
As I step outside the store a lackey whistles me a hackney carriage and as the horses stamp impatiently they load my packages.
What’s hard about that?
Eh?!!!
Not much to ask for,
I don’t like a big fuss made just good service
20
Ah! Those were the days ….the local Co-op at its finest.
6
I often frequent both Aldi and Lidl, dodging the dooshka’s and park keys and seeing pretend middle class wankers filling up their Waitrose bags.
Speaking of which. At my last visit to my local Aldi, the checkout girl asked me to place the empty bags I’d brought with me on the conveyor.
“Why?”
“Because we get a lot of thieves in here”
How eloquently put.
And you’ve just put me in that bracket?
Is it cos I’s white?
Cheeky fuckers!
11
But what if you had put steak down your trousers?
6
There’s already enough meet pumped full of blood to make it more attractive down there son.
(He says in his best Sid James voice)
8
You probably just look a bit ‘shifty’ Monty.
I get it too.
We’re you wearing a fishing gilet with lots of pockets?
Or a big overcoat?
😄
7
I probably do Mis.
I’ll black myself up next time.
They won’t fucking dare ask me then.
8
And if you’ve got a beef with Lidl, don’t bother using their customer service page on their website.
I composed a long email of complaint recently, and thus satisfied, hit the send button. Only to be greeted with ‘there’s a problem with this webpage’
So I done it all again and received the same message.
You can bet your arse it isn’t a ‘problem’ as far as Lidl are concerned.
It’s the modern equivalent of leaving the phone off the hook.
6
Create a Twitter account and go direct to them there.
1
After doing a large shop at my Asda, I enjoy parking my trolley load in the road space for TAXIS ONLY, to prevent FAT LAZY CUNTS from parking their COFFIN CHARIOTS.
8
The notion that a supermarket might actually provide a bit of customer service is a quaint notion these days I’m afraid.
It’s like McDonald’s; it’s all about shifting units with an eye to the bottom line.
Morning all.
8
One would hope that good customer service would enhance the bottom line but it appears to be a basic idea too far for modern business management although it still exists in some small, family run outfits. Here in Helston we have an excellent butcher, a superb hardware shop , a great jewellers and even an old fashion sweet shop. The rest of the high street is coffee shops and charity shops. I think that there is a link.
7
I’ve noticed that the service in our local B and Q is still good. Very helpful staff ‘on the shop floor’ as it were. I don’t think it’s coincidential that they’re mostly elderly people obviously supplementing their pensions.
7
Ron, I had a similar experience last Wednesday. I went to Screwfix to get a new tap cartridge only to be told that they didn’t sell the size that I needed. On my way to screwfix I had noticed a Toolstation so I tried them. The chap said that they didn’t stock the size but he suggested Amazon and printed off a sheet with the cartridge details. A couple of minutes, one sheet of paper and Toolstation gained a future customer.
Rocket science it a’int.
8
They fought us in WW1, and they lost. They fought us in WW2, they lost again. They have now got the foothold they always wanted. Zeig ! Zeig ! Heil !
8
Yar, we are vuying ze cowardly British car companies, but mein Gott in Himmel, ve are in ze big recession. Ver is Munter Merkhel ven ve vant ze fat bitchen?
4
Filling her face eating bratwurst sausages
3
Oooohh Aldi. I was thinking of Argos and when I read you were picking up your tea from there, I was confused.
“MNC must eat kettles, toasters and coffee tables for his tea…?”
I was once in a similar situation in the co op and the cunt said “You can use the self service till.” To which I replied, “I’ve finished work for the day.”
Cheeky cunts aren’t they?
It’s like going to the garage and the cunt charging you sixty quid for the job, sitting on his arse drinking a brew and saying “The car Jack’s over there fella. Toolbox on the table.”
Self service can get to fuck!
8
This should be at least (2) because of this splendid cunting:
https://is-a-cunt.com/2019/04/british-customer-service/
6
My local Aldi has recently changed to this.
6 self service checkouts and only 1 of the 4 tradditional operator checkouts staffed.
The day they move to self service only, they lose me as a customer.
Recently in Poundland I was queueing for the one manned checkout ;
Spotty oik “you can use the self service till”
Me “I don’t want to”
Oik “It’ll save you queing”
Me “I’m in no hurry”
Oik “It’s easy”
Me “I’m not using self service”
Oik “but….I can help you”
Me (now pissed) “I’m NOT using self service – ask me again and you can keep your goods”
Me “Your participating in your own redundancy…machines that fill shelves next”
13
Rarely go in my local Iceland, but the staff there are first class. Friendly, pack the stuff up for you, the lot. Even the security man is a nice bloke.
Used to go out with a bird who worked at Aldi. She looked like Fenella Fielding.
7
I have groceries delivered occasionaly from Iceland and they are first rate.
And any in-store reductions are half price – no messing
5
My mum and dad take my disabled brother to Iceland sometimes and they’re brilliant with him. Know his name and everything. I’d happily shop with them if the Sheffield one was closer to me.
3
When I worked in retail it was drummed into me the customer came first.Sadly the staff nowadays are bred in dark warehouses.Useless cretins.
8
I remember during the first 2020 lockdown, a Daki woman in Aldis filled her trolley with tinned tomatoes. The bird at the till said she couldn’t put it through, as only so many cans were allowed per customer. Ayshun hagbag then plays dumb with ‘No English!’. Till girl won’t have it and refuses to serve. her. Curry Madam starts all that ‘Nonononono!’ shit and the manager has to be called. Manager tries to explain, but gets nowhere So he asks her to leave. No dice, so the security turn up. Massive chimp out, and the Daki ends up lying on the floor, spazzing about like Joe Cocker and screaming, Yoko Fucking Ono style. Only theing is, not one person had laid a finger on her. Good old enrichment, eh?
I know some customer service is non existent. But some cunts really do try their patience.
12
In a just society she would’ve been tied to a pole and had the tins of tomatoes chucked at her by the customersxand staff.
And then deported.
There was something especially disgusting about such types panic buying and leaving the indigenous of this land without. It brought out the Eichmann in me, I can tell you
7
Carry a car tyre with you. It’s amazing how you have no problems with Dhaki. They run !
3
At my local Coop there’s only ever two tills open at max – the small one with the baccy and spirits stored behind it and one proper till. And even then the proper till is closed more often than not. Occasionally they don’t even have anyone manning the smaller till either. If it wasn’t for their reduced section and the fact that it’s across the road I wouldn’t even bother shopping there.
1