National anthems

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National anthems, and one in particular.

I am watching the build up to the rugby world cup.

The anthems can be stirring, Wales, France, South Africa, Ireland, Scotland and so on.

They can be so so as well. The Argentine one doesnt start until half time.

But the most depressing dirge of all is the English one. ‘God save our homeopathic half wit.
It is dull, uninspiring, and excludes patriotic Englishmen who are republicans.

What’s wrong with Jerusalem, Land of Hope and Glory instead of this dull depressing monotone?

Anyway:-

Mae hen wlad fy nhadau yn annwyl i mi,
Gwlad beirdd a chantorion, enwogion o fri;
Ei gwrol ryfelwyr, gwladgarwyr tra mâd,
Tros ryddid gollasant eu gwaed.

Or

Allons enfants de la patrie,
Le jour de gloire est arrivé !
Contre nous de la tyrannie
L’étendard sanglant est levé !

Nominated by Cuntstable Cuntbubble.

91 thoughts on “National anthems”

  1. Couldn’t agree more CC. The Marseillaise, that’s the one! If you don’t speak French look up the translation. Superb!

  2. Top class cunting the English National anthem makes me cringe when I hear it, and they dont even sing the best bit about hammering the porridge wo gs.

  4. Italy has a good national anthem too.

    England’s one is like a funeral dirge, written by some sycophant desperate for a knighthood.

    Who the fuck wants to be reigned over?

    Apparently it has a second verse.

  5. God Save the Queen/King is an absolutely dreadful piece of music

    Starts of flat and gets progressively worse.

    The Italians, French and Russian anthems are fantastic pieces of music by comparison.

    • Couldn’t agree more!

      A couple of years back I helped install a sound system down the full length of a posh shopping arcade in Mayfair.

      So naturally we thought best to test it out by playing the USSR national anthem at full belt.

      We thought it was fucking hilarious. Even the usually po faced Beadles cracked a smile 😆

  6. I think the Spanish national anthem should be changed to the Benny Hill Show theme tune following Luis Rubiales kissing some ugly dyke.

  7. Translation of the French national anthem…….

    Arise, children of the Fatherland
    Our day of glory has arrived
    Against us the bloody flag of tyranny
    is raised; the bloody flag is raised.
    Do you hear, in the countryside
    The roar of those ferocious soldiers?
    They’re coming right into your arms
    To cut the throats of your sons, your comrades!

    To arms, citizens!
    Form your battalions
    Let’s march, let’s march
    That their impure blood
    Should water our fields.

    Sung enthusiastic by smelly, surrender monkeys.

    • “and everyone considered him the coward of the county”…

      Kenny Rogers
      French national anthem

  8. Whenever the occasion arises, there’s always talk of changing the dirge for Elgar’s Land of Hope and Glory. It gives you that lift to start well, rather than wanting to go to sleep.

    • Especially if they use the Pomp and Circumstance March part of it,it would rouse everyone’s spirits.

  9. It’s shite isn’t it.

    Change it to Rule Brittania..

    Then have the First Sea Lord order it played full blast on every vessel as we blockade the Channel and start a nice old fashioned naval skirmish with the Frogs.

    Vote Viscount Nelson.

  10. The Sex Pistols ‘God Save The Queen’ would be ideal if King Jug Ears the Woke weren’t a bloke.
    If he had an ounce of patriotism he would self identify as Queen.

  11. The Frogsand the Ruskies have the best anthems.

    Might as well play the UN anthem if there is one for western nations from now.

  13. Let’s make an important point …
    God Save the King is NOT the national anthem of England. It is the national anthem of United Kingdom (though why the bit about bashing the Scots was introduced? who knows?). It always pisses me off that the England teams think they can steal the UK anthem as theirs. The other home nations have to choose something more ‘homely’ to them, so why shouldn’tEngland. I agree with Cuntstables idea of Jerusalem – at least it’s about England – and more stirring than the UK dirge.

    • As an English nationalist, we should definitely have an anthem of our own (Land of Hope and Glory or Jerusalem would do nicely.) I certainly don’t want GSTK/Q to represent England.

      Likewise, if we have to have a BBC, there should be a BBC England.

      It’d stop the chippy Celts moaning and give us something to rally behind.

      • Oh there are a couple of token honkies still, yes. I think they finished the 2022 final with no outfield honky players on the pitch though.

        I saw a picture of the England youth team a year or two back. May have been an U-17 team, can’t quite recall. Not one honky I think.

        Not very diverse tsk.

      • The team that finished the recent world cup final said it all about the French and their football team.

        Shite at penalties as well. Interestingly enough.

      • Sometimes the diversity is there for its own sake (Wokegate picking three black players for penalties for the narrative and it backfiring, because they were kids, obviously).

        Sometimes it’s because the quality of players demands it. Look at the Chelsea side of the mid to late noughties under Mourinho;

        Ashley Cole, Makelele, Essien, Obi Mikel, Ramires, Malouda, Kalou, Drogba were all very good players with many more coming through the youth system (Lukaku, Sturridge, Loftus Cheek, Chalobah, Tomori, Reece James etc)

        It never seemed an issue back then. I think it’s the same with France under Deschamps, having being part of a Juventus team and France side with numerous black players in the 90s, as well as a number when he came to Chelsea

  15. The only time that I feel sorry for the English football team is when I watch them being forced to sing the national anthem before a game.

    They are on the back foot before a ball is kicked.

    Compare them to the way the Italian players (especially Gianluigi Buffon, in the past) belt out the rousing “Fratelli d’Italia”.

    • I like Greensleeves.
      I want that.

      And a hundred English archers to loose arrows into a blindfolded Frenchman.
      🇬🇧

  18. I suggest ‘I’m a wanker’ by Ivor Biggun and The Red Nosed Burglars. Stirring, cheerful and I could identify with it. The teams could wear Davy Crocket hats (you might need to look on You Tube, if it’s on there.)

  19. The anagram of rugby is closely to buggery and that’s why the object they throw to each other because of being unable to control it with the feet, can easily be shoved up ones arse, with the aid of some vaseline.

  20. I vow to thee my country for me, anything is better than the current shite.
    Or Hearts of Oak.
    Jerusalem.
    Rule Britannia.
    It’s not as though we haven’t a good alternative.

  21. I think most national anthems are shite.

    But countries have unofficial anthems.
    Tunes that you instinctively assocciate with that country.

    ‘ just one Cornetto …
    Italy

    Moose loose aboot this hoose-
    Scotland

    Cottoneye Joe
    USA

    I like our official anthem.
    Yes it’s boring.
    But it’s British.
    So by default the best!

      • The English Anthem should be the England 1970 football squad’s ‘Back Home’ sung out to sea from the top of the cliffs at Dover by a mixed race choir assembled from the cast of contemporary TV adverts. No, should it fuck! I’m sick of the way this country’s being handed on a plate to agenda spouting, entitled, hand out seeking wankers. Machine gun the fucking lot of them and anybody who speaks up for them.

      • Look, we have to be inclusive.
        We own the Welsh and Scots.
        Have to have them at the table.

        Like two adopted gyppo kids.

      • The Scots and Welsh are always whinging about us. They can be independent, especially the Scots. It will be amusing watching them try to rejoin the EU while the German economy tanks due to low gas supplies and retirement of most of their skilled workforce.

  22. The US one goes on for bloody ever. Just as you breathe a sigh of relief and start sitting down, it starts yet another line.

    GSTK/Q properly played by a big military band can be quite stirring, particularly as the band marches over the smoking ruins of Johnny Foreigner’s defences. I think it’s a question of context…and being unable to hear the words.

    • Addendum on the awful US dirge: whereas no proper Brit knows the words to the UK tune, every American knows all the words to theirs. Along with some heavy flag flapping, they get it every morning in school, if times haven’t changed. So unembarrassed are they by their anthem that on great occasions they often hire a coloratura soprano to howl it into a megawatt sound system, and that is why, in the US, early traumatic deafness is widespread. It’s about about the evil Brits, by the way.

  23. Bunch of uppity peasants! Bad enough when Johnny Foreigner shows up complaining about everything British without the inbred common indigenous rabble joining in.

    As for the republicans? Which republic do they want to copy?

    The French? The North Koreans? The bloody Americans or maybe the Congo? Unbelievable ungrateful bastards, one has to wait a bloody long time to get that one word changed in the National Anthem, it’s all about me not them!

    Camilla, if you insist on walking around the palace naked at least put the bag on your head as we agreed!

    All together now…..

    God save your gracious me……

    • The royals might wan to look in the mirror to find inbreeding. Far less likely to find it amongst the indigenous peasants (although the population of Bradford does have some serious issues, but they are not indigenous).

  24. Another suggestion for the English national anthem, would be the “Laughing Policeman” due to us always winning fuck all. I think I’m one of the few on here who watched us win the World Cup due to a fluky goal.

  25. I don’t agree with the cunting of national anthems as many are great.

    It’s mainly ours that is the problem; as other cunters have said, it’s not about the nation, national spirit or something the country can get behind. it’s about a jug -eared waster and not exactly rousing. Players don’t get ready by singing about being reigned over by half-wits.

  26. Slightly off topic but needs posting. I got up before the wife this morning, even made me own tea, to get a few jobs out of the way before watching anything worth watching from today’s games. First one up: Namibia v Italy – and I felt interested enough to watch to see how a South Africa 3rd XV would fare against the weakest of the Six Nations’ teams. Fuck me, the telly’s off already and I’m sat here typing this all because some brainless flat dick’s wheedled her way into the commentary box and thinks that the utter, utter shite that she spouts is somehow more important than the game. Drives me fucking mad. Off out now to wash the Saharan dust off me car.

    • I’ve watched sport for years with the sound off, due to the few superlatives and shite spoken, forced me to. It’ll become second nature after a while. Then you’ll only need to watch from first whistle to the last.

    • I watched the France v NZ match last night and they had some black woman “expert” on the ITV panel.

      Obviously she’s very well qualified to discuss elite level international men’s rugby and her skin colour or gender had absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with her being on there.

      • I caught some of the game commentary on the wireless bbc. I didn’t hear a blokes voice for 20mins, just two wimmins grating. Luckily given the heat and cider I was too comatose to care.

        As for anthems, Jerusalem. It be named after a Middle East shitehole but at least it talks of englands green and pleasant land and mentions bows and arrows.

  27. If we are talking anthems, you’ll never beat “Deutschland Über Alles” delivered with military gusto and with the original words. Talk about making the hairs on the back of your neck stand on end. Fucking brilliant.

    Fuck it I’m going to fire up my Prussian military marches playlist, bit of the old Konigratzer Marsch needed!!

  28. Sorry, I can’t agree with this cunting. I fucking love our national anthem; I am happy to attest to my allegiance to The Crown. I admire our colonial past. our forefathers’ spirit of adventure and exploration, and the advances it bought to the world. I love our two glorious victories against the krauts – ‘confound their knavish tricks’. Fuck all the rest of them, I love being British.

  29. Ron goodwin got it spot on with aces high the luftwaffe march goosebumps everytime. Fuck our national anthem. I love my country but not the cunts at the controls or the royal spongers, no one is listening to you.

  30. Couldn’t help noticing there’s a Saudi Arabian flag in the nom pic.

    I thought music was considered “haram” under Wahhabism.

    I’d imagine their national anthem to be some whining carpet kisser warbling the call to prayer or something. Such is my ignorance.

    • The Saudi anthem consists of the sounds from the cockpit of the first plane to hit the twin towers.

      Goes something like “Pull up! Whoop Whoop! Pull up! Allan’s Snackbaa… Boom!” (voiced by Jordan Henderson).

      No the catchiest of dirges.

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