Modern life

Posted on by

 
Modern life is a cunt. Well substantial parts of it anyway.

What’s striking to me is the way we accept poorer quality and performance in so many areas.
Time was we assumed things would be better in the future, faster, cheaper, more efficient, you name it. I had a damascene revelation on our wedding anniversary today. We had intended to go out for a meal. My wife looked at the menus at various restaurants around including in the West End. We expected to pay but everything listed was something off the wall using mostly ingredients of which we had never heard. Her response was “sod this” and instead we stayed home and she did Tournedos Rossini, one of her signature dishes along with Sole Colbert and Scampi Provencale.

Yes, I know I’m a lucky bastard. My point is that these are classic 1970s dishes judged by taste not by what some fucking vegetarian thinks is “sustainable” and good for our health.
We have scores of television channels available now but there is no more worth watching than when I was a lad and we had two. The number of evenings I scan the whole list and conclude there is nothing on worth the cost of the electricity.

Motor cars are rapidly turning into shite, ipads on wheels, stuffed with gadgets which are not merely useless but a positive fucking problem requiring hours wading through the handbook in order to switch them all off. The handbook being in six w*g languages with a poor translation into English Get an electric car and it costs a fortune, weighs two tons and takes hours to recharge. In a sane world touch screens in cars would be illegal and the fucking indicator stalk is the wrong side of the column! Who the fuck wants an electric handbrake? A car used to give you freedom but people like Suckdick are fixing that problem. The town centres are dying and the response of the preverts in authority is to make them more difficult and expensive to access.

Our recently acquired new tumble dryer which is rated as highly efficient leaves everything slightly damp. Used to have a gas dryer which was much cheaper to run but they have vanished from the market in the UK. Still widely available in the rest of the world so some fucking fiddle is being worked there.
Just been reminded by the wife that even fly sprays are poorer now. You spray the little bastards and they are still airborne ten minutes later. This I believe is courtesy of the EU. But then again, isn’t fucking everything now?

I’ll end my rant at this point but hopefully you get my message.

Nominated by arfurbrain.

106 thoughts on “Modern life”

  1. A friend of mine summed it all up 30 years back

    “it’s all fucked up and nobody cares”

    How right he was. At least he’s dead and doesn’t have to suffer it. Lucky sod…

    • Even if he were to be resurrected, he might take a look at what’s happening and decide he was better off in the ground.

  2. Modern life (3) at least this admin.

    Yep, modern life is rubbish.

    I’m increasingly out of kilter with it.

    I thought it’d be all hovercars and rayguns an tinfoil clothing.
    But it’s all illegal migrants,XL Bully,
    Drill music an vegans.

    Bag of shite.

  3. Not moaning are you arfur?

    Count yourself lucky you live in a country with running water and electricity..

    Granted the water is full of raw sewage and the electricity is fucking expensive and soon will be rationed.

    Supermarket selves with food, OK its doubled in price and the size has shrunk..

    Health care the envy of the world..
    If you can get a appointment,then wait 2 years for a operation.

    Life is wonderful here..

    If your lazy, a criminal or a illegal immigrant.

    Moan on fella, I’m with you all the way..

  6. Everything is over engineered.

    A toaster has settings 1 to 6.

    Setting 1 leaves the bread as if it has been walked through a warm room.
    Setting 6 is if you want charcoal.

    Hoovers are the same.
    On their lowest setting there is no suction at all.
    The highest setting rips up the carpet along with the floorboards.

    Mrs Cunter was away for a few days.
    I didn’t use either the washing machine or the dishwasher.
    I couldn’t be bothered with all of the dials, switches or knobs.

    • Mrs Odin went away for a couple of weeks last month and the washing machine and dishwasher were used regularly.

      The problems started when I tried to fire up her new fangled iron.

      The cunt of a thing has a docking station that requires a safe cracker to unlock and the controls on the docking station look like the bridge off the starship enterprise.

      Needless to say, she came back with a stack of ironing waiting for her.

    • Was forced to buy a new tumble dryer after the last one died. The new one is shit. Digital display, control it with a mobile phone (wtf) 24 different setting, none of which actually fully dry the clothes. The worst thing is the near constant beeping. Empty the water, empty the lint, I’ve nearly finished, I have finished, I’ve been finished for s while and you haven’t opened the door, I’m still waiting, beep, beep fecking beep. And the poxy cooker is the same, beeping all the time, drives me mental, I can see a lump hammer involved in the near future.

      Another load of shite are modern car battery chargers. Apparently, they have a ‘safety’ feature that deliberately prevents the charger from charging a totally flat battery. What use is that? Why do I want to charge a charged battery? Yet more beeping. And the fecking beeping from the car if I don’t put my seatbelt on within a nanosecond of starting it. If it starts. Because I can’t charge the battery.

      • Our washing machine and tumble dryer both have the ability to be operated remotely. Who in their right mind would use such a facility? I would never risk coming home to a home which was flooded or burnt to the ground.

      • Top tip from a mate of mine who is a service engineer on these things.

        Buy the cheapest with a big control knob and no touch button’s or digital displays.

        All have built in obsolescence aftet 5 years of normal use….💩

      • My landlord replaced my old knackered washing machine recently. The shortest wash cycle is supposedly 30 minutes (my old machine did it in 15), but actually lasts about 40 minutes. I can’t amend the spin speed on that programme, so it goes at 1200rpm for about five minutes and then does a five minute dry at volcanic heat. The first time it left my good shirts and trousers creased beyond the capabilities of the iron. I’m now handwashing most of my stuff and just using the machine for a slow spin. What a pile of cack.

  7. George Orwell…Ayn Rand…Lewis Carroll…Jonathan Swift…Aldous Huxley and others wrote dystopian fantasy. Their dystopian fantasies are our modern realities.

    And it continues to devolve exponentially.

  8. Arfur@

    I won’t be coming round for tea tonight pal,
    Especially if it’s Tornado Rossi or Sol Campbell.

    Let me know when your having findus crispy pancakes and chips.

  10. I refuse to move with the times.
    They’ll have to drag me forward kicking and screaming.

    I still use to quote the TV ” attitudes and language that reflect the time”

    Still like the same food.

    Still listen to the same music

    I refuse to take part.

    I don’t want a leccy car
    I don’t want a Alexa spy
    I don’t want peleton
    I don’t want to go to Ibiza
    I don’t want a XL Bully
    I don’t want any of that shite.

  11. When I say I’m still stuck in the past, it means being normal to me. My language stays the same. At least people tend to accept or respect the elderly for it and leave them alone.

  13. I’m only in my mid 40s and I’m stuck in the past already.

    Everything seemed better 20-30 years ago than what it is now or will soon come to be.

    Technology (from home electrical appliances to cars)
    TV and Films
    Music
    Sport
    Pubs
    Society in general (no social media for example)

    I know I’m sitting on the internet as I type this but the internet has been the biggest game changer.
    Human to human interaction is virtually dead.

    Good Morning

    • Most people think life was better in their teens and twenties.
      It’s part of the human condition.
      Morning HJ.

      • Good morning MJB.

        Whilst I do agree with what you’re saying – at the same time I have to disagree within the modern day context.

        Culturally, I think things have nosedived over the last 10 years in particular.

        For many reasons.

      • I can’t disagree with that, HJ.
        The last 7 years have seen this country’s steepest decline politically, culturally and world standing in my lifetime (64 years).

  14. I used to take the piss out of my old man. Set in his ways, preferred a landline to a mobile, no Sky telly and drove a 25 year old banger.
    But he was happy.
    He made a conscious choice to avoid modern shit.
    He’d never heard of an upgrade. He’d simply replace an appliance that had given 20 years efficient service rather than one that’s programmed to fuck up after 5 years.
    Mind you, he did like his fucking great big Pioneer plasma he’d treated himself to. About his only concession.

    • I’d live off grid if I’d stayed single , in the Scottish Highlands.

      Not sure my kids would appreciate it

  15. You’ve clearly misunderstood how fly sprays work nowadays, you’re supposed to belt the little cunt with the can.

  17. A friend of mine has an Apple i-phone and 2 Apple laptops. He uses his i-phone to pay for stuff, didn’t own a debit card. He runs his life on his i-phone and laptop, from online banking to running his business. He got arrested by the police last week and they confiscated his devices and kicked him out of his house (long story, all accusations false, truth will out).

    Anyway he bought a replacement i-phone with his credit card, maxed out by that purchase, and couldn’t access his accounts or apps because he didn’t remember any of the passwords and didn’t have the recovery keys to his devices. He couldn’t buy food, fuel, clothing, couldn’t run his business. His situation improved slightly over the last few days, he got his phone number back by buying a replacement SIM, and some of his passwords he finally remembered. Luckily his business is short lets of his London flat and he ordered a debit card which got sent there because luckily his bank account is registered to that address. And luckily for him he carries his driving licence and passport around with him, so at least he hadn’t completely lost his identity.

    The moral of the story is don’t put all your eggs in one modern digital basket and have a back up plan, like a gold bar and some cash stashed in a safety deposit box, along with passwords and recovery keys.

    • Interesting Holeologist,
      Had me on the edge of my seat. Its no wonder why there’s also old people still keeping cash stuffed in their mattresses, only then problems will arise when everything will need Charlie’s wing nut head on it.

    • I’ve learned a few things and seen some good advice on ISAC and your post here is up there with the best of them Mrs C. I feel I’m fairly cautious but you’ve caused me to think I’ll check over everything today.

      Morning all. My nom seems to have found some support! Thanks everyone.

      • Great nom. Modern life is more expensive and more violent than I remember. More wasteful and more polluted than ever before. More digital and increasingly so to the point that bad robots and a social credit score no longer seem implausible. Makes me nostalgic for days gone by. On that note, I remember bypassing the lock Mum put on the phone in the 1980s by tapping the receiver buttons to call my school friends. There was some hack I did anyway!

    • Go digital and cashless. That way we’ll always know where you are or have been 24/7

      And if you weren’t there when that bloke was murdered, we can always fake the data to prove you did it…

  18. Living in a past time zone when everything was in black & white, I try to keep it like that. Switching on the telly, there’s cunts trying to steal that away from you by colourising stuff, ( but had to admit some archive stuff was interesting to this old twat ) only keep old feature films as they were, though.

  19. Totally agree with this. Day to day stuff should be a lot quicker nowadays like e mails for instance, but only if the cunt on the other end replies forthwith. Our tumble dryer is nearly twenty years old and cost 100 pounds yet only one belt replacement fitted by yours truly clever cunt himself. My 20 year old X trail dci still doing it on 180k miles. We are doomed.

  20. Cculdn’t agree more Arfur.

    Modern everything is shit.

    Football
    Music
    TV
    Film
    Comedy
    Attitudes
    Doctors

    To name but a few.

      • Most modern young birds are rough as fuck. Either blotchy-legged, moon-faced heffers with dyed hair in a top knot, glasses and tattoos or orange, duck faced Groucho eyebrowed bimboes with tattoos and botox-illed foreheads, silicon tits and arse cheeks, all with a blue light from their phones in their gormless faces and all with a bath temperature IQ.

  21. And do not get me started on modern women. Some of the things I can’t satnd now are….

    Offended by anything and everything uppity loonies.

    Ruined TV football with ‘their’ squawking punditry and commentary.

    False eyelashes, nails, spray tans.

    Tattoos, tattoos and more tattoos.

    Tik Tok and Onlyfans trollops.

    Medical Centre receptionist Nazis.

    Plastic surgery as a fashion accessory.

    Twerking.

    No musical female talent whatsoever.

    The Lionesses hype.

    Hypocritical ‘Me Too/Time’s Up/ ‘Hacked’ pics actress slags.

    Jodie fucking Whittaker as Doctor Who.

    How it’s ‘OK’ for them to wet themselves over Fifty Shades of Rape and stripper firemen. Yet it’s ‘Not OK’ for a man to do well…. anytthing really.

    • I forgot to mention modern day young women in my earlier post.

      What the fuck is it with these lips and eyelashes???

      They look as fucking horrendous as they do ridiculous.

      And they always seem to be in these giant fucking Range Rovers which they can’t seem to drive either.

      Vacuous stupid tarts.

      Love Island has a lot to answer for.

      Don’t get me started on modern day young blokes.

      All I’ll say about those cunts is: Tattoos, Steroids, Turkish haircuts and teeth.

  22. talking about quality. There’s been an ongoing thing for years now called the “monitor lottery” it’s when people who are more savvy when it comes to quality of tech either buy a few computer monitors and return the worst ones or buy and return until they get a better quality one. All of the momtotds are exactly the same but due to poor quality control there can be issues with the back light vleeding around the edges, piss poor greys and blacks and talking about piss, white backgrounds that have a yellow tint or yellow patches on it. A lot of these monitors are £500 to £1000.

  23. I feel your pain Arfur, the Crosslee tumble driers were ace. Clothes dried PDQ mrs happy everthing tikkety boo. Happy days.
    Now shit everything Quality Control shit, modern life is shit.

  24. And a lot of modern men are cunts too.

    Manicured ‘Rylan Clark’ style gay beards.

    Young lads with WG Grace/Dubliners type beards. Haven’t these cunts heard of a razor blade\/

    Flip Flops or sandals. Say no more.

    Grown men in Marvel Comics and Harry Potter T-Shirts.

    Any cunt who wears a onsie. Especially a Star Wars one.

    Vegan knobheads. Buying Almond Milk and Spinach and Pumpkin Burgers? Fuck off.

    Crying like girls about everything. Especially on TV.

    Blubbing and grassing on social media.

    Pretending to be LGBTQ and BLM tolerant.

    Men pretending to like Taylor Swift’s music.

    Any cunt who likes modern football.

    Those who are terrified and henpecked to pieces by their Mrs. Most young lads are.

    Those who pretend to like all this women in football bollocks.

    • I was out in Newcastle 6 months ago and got talking briefly to a group of youngish Geordie lads.

      One of our group said women’s football is shite and these lads were clearly rattled by what was a basic observation and opinion.

      I thought one of the cunts was going to cry whilst he was there frantically defending women’s football.

      What a fucking tosser.

    • One of my old mates (although he’s not really what I consider a mate any longer)

      He’s always loved football but he loves it even more in its modern day form.

      Thought the Black Lives Matter on the shirts was a nice touch and the kneeling was a force for good etc etc.

      Thinks the premier league over flowing with African cunts and millionaire mercenaries from every where else is awesome.

      I could go on but I won’t.

      Oh and he loves Jeremy Corbyn.

      As I say – he’s an ex old mate.

    • My dad always said “never trust a bloke who wears sandals, and never trust a man with thin lips.”

      Words to live by.

  25. While I think of it, thanks admin for supplying the link. After typing my rant providing a link just went out of my empty head!

  26. Many would say that we of a slightly older generation are simply looking back at earlier times through rose tinted specs.
    Not so in this case, the modern world really is a bag of shite with a few exceptions.
    I must admit i do take advantage of tech and the internet, but not social media.

    People are the problem, those in charge and people generally have become more cuntish and our politicians more loathsome.

    We live in the age of manufactured stupidity, our youth addled by incompetent, captured education institutions and stupidity on social media.

    Take me back to the eighties.

  27. Train transport – which is now privatised of course – is another abomination. The price of train tickets to traverse from one end of this land to the other needs a small mortgage.
    Then when you get aboard, if the train is not cancelled, the seat reservation system is f@@ked, and it is a bad-tempered scramble for seats, with everyone wanting a table.
    Or the cunts have double-sold the number of tickets and you have to stand in the corridor for the whole journey.
    Oh and the buffet is always shut due to lack of hot water/shortage of staff or some other tit excuse.
    And people moaned about British Rail!

    Finally, a pet modern hate, paper straws. They are so flimsy it is impossible to pierce the juice carton with them, cue crying kids.
    I hate to quote those mockney twats Blur, but yes Modern Life Is Rubbish.

  28. Saw a thing on YouTube the other day about some Nazi cunt born in 1923. He was describing how he was brainwashed by school, the Hitler Youth and the media in general. The only people who questioned anything were his parents but he was told they were old, stupid and living in the past. Don’t listen to them, YOU are the future, YOU are the “New Germany.”
    Fuck me, it all sounded eerily familiar.

  29. Nice one arfur old son.

    Some things about modern life aren’t so bad though.

    For instance, just think how our lives have been ‘enriched’ by mobile phones, women with green hair and tattoos, women with cocks, veggie burgers, cyclists, Tony Blair, speed bumps, the SNP, celebrities, mass immigration, the EU, cancel culture, Hazbeen and Migraine, Islamists, FemiNazis, soy lattés, and the French, to name but a few.

    Progress isn’t always bad.

    Morning all.

      • On behalf of the wife, may I add the following to the list of ‘benefits’ of modern life;

        Automated telephone response systems, banks and insurance companies, race-baiters, electric scooters, vapers, Sam Smith,
        the Labour Party, net zero, rap music, eco warriors, and colour-blind casting (always one way, of course).

    • And images of Salma Hayek’s cleavage is on tap through multiple devices whenever and wherever you happen to be Ron.

      No hedge diving for old copies of Razzle like Miserable.

Comments are closed.