House a Migrant

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Rumours abound that the government will ask us to house an Afghan migrant, much in the same way as they did with Ukrainian refugees last year.

The government, and in particular Michael Gove, the housing secretary is in talks with other ministers and advisors about offering private accommodation to the thousands of Afghans fleeing their country now that the Taliban have taken control.

125,000 Ukrainians were offered places in people’s homes, and now a similar scheme is being called for Afghans along with a cash incentive for householders willing to take them in.

They talk about Afghans, but I suspect this might include all migrants seeking refugee here, especially since hotel accommodation is almost full to bursting with existing migrants waiting for a home.

Some so-called experts have gone a step forward by saying anyone living in a home with unused bedrooms you could be forced to house a migrant for a period of time!

How that will work I don’t know, but I would guess if you’re a rich cunt like Lilly Mong or Linecunt you could be forced to house a grubby migrant or two.

Therefore rather than telling some of these so-called refugees to fuck off back to France or some other “safe country” the government is yet again showing what a complete bottle-job it is and more or less inviting ever more migrants to come to the UK with the promise that they can shack up in your home regardless of whether the homeowner volunteers or not!

That said, it would be rather fun seeing some of these rich celeb cunts having to house as many migrants as they have bedrooms in their huge mansions out in the comfy Home Counties. Which is one reason why such an idea will never materialise – can’t have the rich rough it with the foreign plebs!

Anyway, if YOU have a spare bedroom expect a knock on the door with some towel-head and his brood carrying suitcases and a big smile wanting to move in!

Guardian

Nominated by Technocunt.

135 thoughts on “House a Migrant”

  1. Is that asked or forced?

    I have a pond that 4 or five could fit In..
    I will have to chop them up first..

    Is that one of the two million interpreters the British army employed..

    Rather house a rabid xl bully dog..

  2. I have a spare mud trench, but it`s still 300 miles to the nearest waterhole. So, much like what they`ve been used to, then.

  3. I currently have two spare bedrooms.

    Two of the others have my teenage daughters in.

    Therefore anyone coming to force me to take an Afghan ‘refugee’ had better bring the fucking army with them .

    Just how badly could this whole thing end . Inviting a load of feral, uncivilised savages into your house FFS

  4. No chance will this happen.
    It’d open a legal minefield as well as see the Tories polls drop either further.

    It’ll be voluntary with cash initiatives.

    I’m quite happy to discuss it with the bloke from the council next to a quickly heating chip pan.

    • Even a voluntary scheme will see them drop in the polls as it further highlights their utter failure at governing.

      What sort of sovereign well run country needs to fucking bribe citizens to do something like this as a last resort .

      Just fucking send them away

  5. How about the government offering cash incentives to those who take in homeless white U.K. citizens who’ve fallen on hard times .

    • In fact I’ll do it.

      The cost to the government is 100k per week . I’ll move the family out to a hotel ( not one recently vacated by the Afghans mind)

      I’ll need a lot of that money for renovations after they take the first four weeks figuring out how the toilet works

      Happy for them to stay for 10 weeks . Nice round million quid

  6. Let’s be honest, they must be running out of options on where to put the bastards. Hotels must be full by now. Our so called government are failing the electorate on a daily basis and we sit and watch Rome burn.

  7. It’s not as though you could take in a bonny afgan lass, they all have better facial hair than me….urrrggghhh.

    • Yep good point . I don’t think I’ve actually seen a female Afghan ever

      Funny that isn’t it

  8. Any fucker daft enough to house one of these cunts will have to peaceful proof it like some parents childproof the house. Digging out a squat toilet in the garden to stop them shitting in the sink or putting ‘Do not eat’ labels on pets and explaining that football stadiums here are actually used to play football and not stage executions.

      • “I’m sorry Abdul, we don’t have a Toyota pickup with a heavy machine mounted on the back. Just our little Vauxhall Corsa for the weekly shop.”

  10. You will fit smart meters, solar panels and heat pumps or face a £15,000 fine and a year in prison.
    You will remain in your 15 minute city or be fined.
    You will eat insects and grass.
    You will be taxed till the pips squeak.
    You will give up your home to illegal immigrants.
    You will own nothing and be happy.

    Welcome to UK 2030, twinned with Fatty Boom Boom’s North Korea.

    • Come on in Mr kakawiri
      Oh what lovely children!
      Six of them,
      Well mores the merrier eh?

      Let me show you to your room,
      This is my dog your bunk mate.

      Keep still , stop writhing!
      It only makes it more angry,
      And try not to have eye contact
      It’s seen as a challenge.
      Oh dear, better get you to the hospital,
      You probably need a few stitches ?
      Blood all over your pyjamas!!

      Wait, didn’t you have 6kids when you arrived?

  13. What’s the incentive – free kebabs.

    How will they get around the fact that their woman are not allowed to take off their jedi robes or allow their faces (and hairy bushes) to be seen by others.

    And… the smell. They don’t wash properly.

  14. Refugees, fuck them, all these cunts fleeing conflicts 90% young men, why the fuck aren’t they fighting for whatever shithole they came from.

    The Ukraine refugees were all women and children

    No sympathy for Afghanistan, the Teletubbies rolled in within 24 hours they were in control, where the fuck were the US/UK trained Afghan army to stop them.
    Like all Middle East shitholes, they don’t give a fuck, so why should we.

    • I could do with the company
      I’ll take three.

      Hope they like Hot pot and casual violence.

      They’ll be plenty of both

  16. I’ve often banged on about what this government and the next and then the next etc etc will do with the never ending hordes of looters that will just not stop floating across from France..

    None are ever going to be deported so the politicos are in deep shit,so this idea comes as no surprise at all..

    They’ll float this idea together with the usual sob stories to test the water..then when the Guardian readers have taken a few and volunteers run short expect some cunt from Westminster to voice the idea about forced accommodation in private homes,to “provide an long term economic solution”..

    If this ever gains traction,and I think it will as the vermin will not stop flooding in and “the law” fails to remove them then shortly thereafter..

    A new Hitler.

    I’ll vote for him.

  17. The only cunts stupid enough or greedy enough to have some backwards goat rapist in their house are the parking Stanley’s or possibly the Grenfell shite.

    The reason being that after Grenfell, the stupid cunt Emma Dent-Coad told all of the Grenfell illegal’s they would be top of the list for any place they wanted in RBKC. Rent paid by the taxpayer for 20 years.

    The divorce rate immediately went up so that the greedy illegal filth could get two free places and sublet both of them, while living it up in whatever third world shithole they mysteriously forget they came from.

      • Or even one of our own who’s down on his or her luck? I know, what a thing to say…have a social system in place for the indigenous people of a country they come from after they and their ancestors have paid tax. I must be a racist. No, let’s put up some fighting age men from war torn France in plush hotels while British people visit food banks and sleep in bushes, because that’s right isn’t it.

  19. It always fascinates me when you see ‘rent a mob’ cunts carrying those SWP
    ‘REFUGEES WELCOME!’ placards about and gobbing off about how evil and heartless the govt. is.

    Funny thing is, when you ask if they’ve taken one of the scrounging bastards in, it’s always ‘yes well erm… my spare room’s full of my mate’s stuff at the moment’ or ‘we’ve just got a new baby’.

    Yeah, refugees are welcome alright to virtue-signalling lefty arseholes, but when it comes to the bit, they’re somebody else’s problem.

  21. I’ll only house ones that can benefit me,
    Artisan ones,
    Glass blowers, stained glass experts,
    Fretwork carpenters,
    Thatcher’s, Drystone Waller’s, sculptors and the like.

    I wouldn’t be seen dead housing one who’s not skilled in a suitable craft or artform.

    I’ll put that on the registration form

  22. When people still remembered who the fuck I was I had requests to come and stay at my home from them.

    They would come for a week or two. Sometimes longer.

    There was then a 72 hour limit.

    It doesn’t matter who the fuck it was, after 3 days I wanted them to fuck off.

    I brought an apartment as an investment.
    It’s very nice.
    But I didn’t like people staying there either.
    Things get broken and the place always needed a full clean after people were there.

    For many years nobody has come to visit us.
    Good!
    It’s not like Mrs Cunter and I are on holiday.
    We work and we have little time to be hosts.

    Two of the three bedrooms in my house are never used.
    We have a second bathroom that is unused as well.

    That and an apartment which is locked and secured and has been for years.

    I would rather burn my apartment to the ground rather than hand it over to criminals that I don’t know.

    I think that if this scheme goes ahead in the UK then owners of second homes will be targeted.

    You can live in your home in the outskirts of the city but your home in the Cotswolds is to be given to illegal immigrants.

    Yes, that will work.

    A surefire vote winner with the bonus of enriching the more pleasant parts of the UK.

  23. The tories have gone absolutely fucking batshit crazy.
    What planet do they live on?

    Perhaps it’s a nice ticking timebomb for when Labour come in and have to deal with the consequences.
    Perhaps the tories know they are soon out so they’re endeavoring to implement as many loony policies as possible to trip up Labour.

    Revenge for the ‘no money left’ note in 2010.
    Don’t people just have a good old fashioned punch-up any more?

  24. Why is that these cunts are always fighting each other . Just stop fucking doing it you savage cunts , we’ve not had a civil war here for centuries .

    One probably coming though

  25. They’re a bit crazy these migrants. We could end up like poor Mr Rochester with a madwoman locked upstairs.
    She might burn the house down!

  26. At least I’ve the pleasure of knowing cunts of this world don’t have anywhere to live and here’s little old me living by the sea all by myself.

  27. Off topic, but if that crawler Gareth Wokegate goes any further up Harry Maguire’s arse, he will end up browner than George Hamilton on holiday in Jamaica.

  28. Putting up with that selfish thoughtless whining opportunist Daki bitch in the kidney unit every week is bad enough. If I had to live with her, I’d probablyeither kill her or myself.

  29. We have 2 unused bedrooms and rent our place.

    The spare bedrooms are on the top floor and stink of bat guano from the roof space above and there are more creepy crawlies than you can shake a stick at. In the early hours you can be woken up with the sound of squirrels or rats scratching inside the walls. That’s why we don’t go up there unless its time to vacuum in 3d (i.e. get rid of all the bugs on the walls, floors, ceilings). There’s no mobile signal up there and Mr Migrant is not getting any of my paltry 6Mb bandwidth. Plus we have 2 dogs and I’m pretty sure where these migrants come from they don’t like dogs.

    Forced into it?!

  30. Fucking hell, they wont want me to house any of these flea bitten cunts, i assume they will have to interview potential foster homes, so once they meet Dirty Harriet and myself that will be that.
    There are enough imports in my street as it is with El Chappo and Mad Pablo next door and Handy Bendy Ghandi, his wife/cousin and all their mono brow, mustashiod inbred brats and their constant screaming, infact i strongly suspect the Afgans would be better off in Ishittistan with Shama Shitta and constant shelling, it would be more relaxing and peacefull their im sure…..

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