I know this will probably be an unpopular cunting but fuck it, i hate the stuff.
Perhaps not so much the cold stuff sitting in the fridge that you make a nice ploughmans with,
but cheese that gets cooked and heated up. Unfortunately, the melted stuff now puts me off the cold stuff.
As far as i’m concerned, melted cheese is, in my humble opinion, the most vile, appalling, disgusting, abhorent food substance ever to have been slewed from Satan’s hairy ringpiece.
I don’t think there are the words of a dictionary to accurately describe my reaction upon going in to a place that has cheese cooking. It’s like walking into a giant cheesy shitcloud. It makes me recoil in abject disgust and look for the exit.
I’ve heard it described as ‘food crack’ by some who find it addictive.
It’s slathered all over your food like a farmer’s slurry, whether you want it or not, not that most seem to mind.
Takeaways are the worst, a slice of processed cheese with everything like it’s a government diktat.
Cheese in your burger, cheese in your fries, cheese in this, that and everything else.
The last time i was in Mcdonalds, (conveniance at the time) i had to wait for a burger without the wretched stuff.
I was in their with a girlfriend and she ordered a chicken burger. We both opened our burgers to pull out all the other dross they like to fill burgers with and her chicken burger had a slice of processed cheese in there. For fuck’s sake!
You don’t make a nice Sunday chicken roast then decorate it with filthy slices of cheese do you?
Adverts with a slice being lifted out of a pizza and all those stringy bits of cheese still attached causes me to cover my eyes, a bit like when two iron hoofs unexpectadley kiss on tv. Nooooooooo, i don’t want to look.
When i was little, i remember being banned from going out on the playground at school at lunch time one day because i refused to eat the cheese flan/pizza or whatever the horrific cheese infested concoction sitting on my plate was.
To make matters worse i accidentaly hoofed it into the cutlery bucket instead of the waste bucket when the teacher finally let me leave.
I had to scoop it out with my hand and put it in the waste bucket, the horror, i was fucking traumatised. I thought the pigswill was meant to be
in the waste bucket, not served up on my plate for lunch.
I once shared a flat with a friend and his girlfriend, fucking cheese freaks the pair of them.
I had to remember to close my bedroom (nearest the kitchen) door when they cooked anything with cheese so i didn’t get assaulted by the aforementioned cheese shitcloud if i went into my room.
Ready meals have to be carefully inspected for ingredients (yes i know, my fault for eating ready meals)
Last time i was out with friends, they were considering eating in a slurry pit, sorry pizza restaurant, Luckily we went elsewhere.
Not that i complained, i don’t want to restrict other people’s enjoyment.
So there you have it, i fucking hate cheese with a vengeance and always will.
You eat it.
Nominated by Polite cunt.
I still remember a wizened old draughtsman I knew, when some office bint was collecting for Ethiopia (back in the day), telling her that “he wouldn’t give them the cheese off his cock.”. Class.
13
Fuck me, he would be in prison for that now.
6
I’ll eat most cheeses, raw, cooked, whatever, but I draw the line at any of that soft French muck.
It smells and looks like it’s just been squeezed out of a cyst from the Devil’s own arse.
Filthy pigs.
8
I eat grilled cheese and beans on toast on a fairly regular basis, but it has to be Lancashire Crumbly. No other cheese will do.
4
That floppy hair twat from Blur,
Alex James is a cheeseMONGer.
Crackers for the shite.
Good sideline for rock merchandise I’ll give him that!
Rock cheeses
Stink Floyd
Dr feelgouda
Dairy Lee hooker
Eh….
Rick Otter and Danish blue
0
That floppy hair twat from Blur,
Alex James is a cheeseMONGer.
Crackers for the shite.
Good sideline for rock merchandise I’ll give him that!
Rock cheeses
Stink Floyd
Dr feelgouda
Dairy Lee hoøker
Eh….
Rick Otter and Danish blue
5
Edam and the Ants
7
Rockerfort
1
Simply Red (Leicester)
4
I do love blue cheese, it’s nice and salty, so enjoyable.
Especially now the health nazis have removed so much salt/sugar from food.
“use herbs instead of salt, for taste ”
Fuck off, the only herb I use is tightly rolled, thank you very much.
8
Quavers are ok.
Wotsits are like packing peanuts.
But I do like cheese an onion crisps.
I’m adventurous like that.
7
Only Lord Fiddler and his lifetime’s supply of Fray Bentos is/was more of an epicure.
4
Lots of women love tramps cheese, the longer its allowed to breed under the foreskin the better.
3
Some of the best Python sketches are when Palin tries to sell Cleese something he’s supposed to have and hasn’t. There’s a good cheese one with Michael naming every cheese under the sun and Cleese, nearly cheese, doesn’t gets a sniff of any.
1
Lincolnshire Poacher – a real mans cheese.
Cornish Yarg wrapped in nettles – superb.
Canadian Cheddar – hard, white and with a real bite – love those lactose crystals.
A soft blue Gorgonzola on a warm baguette, served with grapes and a glass of Rioja. Simple pleasures.
Cheese is the food of the Gods – Ambrosia.
6
Cheese, grapes, good bread, a nice selection of cured meats and red wine or cider, eaten outdoors.
3
Can’t fault it.
Wrap a finger of cheese in a nice, salty pork product.
Absolute heaven.
1
I’ll just have a bag of pork scratchings.
2
Pork scratchings!
Do they do lamb or beef version?
Do they hell!
Oy vey!
1
I feel discriminated, marginalised.
Just because I like blue cheese!
2
I’m also not a practising jew.
So I eat pork.
4
When I were a lad, I worked at a grocer’s shop during the summer, slicing and wrapping cheese.
I ate so much Stilton and Gorgonzola at the time that even to this day, I feel queasy at the thought.
1
Oh I knew that JP.
You told me that ages ago.
I wasn’t taking the Mickey about you being a Jew just felt left out while the rest of you eat your disgusting cheese fondue.
Funny, but don’t ever remember cheese in the larder growing up?
I didn’t know what vinegar was till about 8/9yrs old.
My dad wouldn’t allow it in the house.
Called it ‘ tomcat piss”.
He’s more hard-line than me.
Won’t eat butter, cornbeef, any sauces or condiments.
He views me as a table liberal.
4
I think your dad was very wise, tomcat piss is the best description i’ve ever heard it called.
1
Table liberal!
Fuck me, just choked on a gob full of gin.
2
It’s god’s honest truth.
Likes no messing with food.
Bland, and hot .
Won’t eat mash if it’s got butter in it,
And is horrified by mayonnaise!!
“The filthy bastard’s!!!”
When he comes the pub with us he has the same meal every time.
Steak pie and chips.
They don’t even bother to ask him anymore.
He thinks I’m decadent for having custard with apple pie !!
‘fuckin fairy” 😄
5
Custard with apple pie?
You degenerate, Miserable!
4
Bourgeoisie sellout!
The Bolsheviks would have chucked you down a well for that!
4
Did you have the heart to tell him the pie crust was made with butter?
0
I know it’s a bit weird but I like to grate cheddar into scramble eggs.
I blame Thomas tCE. In some weird way he’s corrupted me. The villain!
3
Nothing weird about that at all! Great with toast.
It’s very tasty, just like a cheese omlette.
4
Ben Gunne was a great fan of toasted cheese.
Many’s the long night he dreamed of cheese.
“Toasted mostly!”
3
This video reminds me of Thomas
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aowSGxim_O8
2
What a corker of a tune from TP.
0
Cheesy eggs, lovely.
0
Was stranded in Le havre once upon a time in the past, with know sailings back.
Stayed in the boutique hotel across from the train station.
The oldie Frenchman that owned it was hands on and probably the nicest and only frenchman that I have ever met, the rest being typical frogs.
Starving and tired I ate there, it was sumptuous, steak, potato and veg with a drizzle of the most unbelievable sauce i ever had to this day and the house red wine was to die for.
I could see the fat bastard chef through the hole in the wall covered in sweat and steam.
Then a weedy French suit and tie man arrived and sat directly behind me and ordered what i can only describe as the foulest smelling shit i have ever encountered, I turned around and saw that it was cheese and not as you know it.
2
Limburger and Stinking Bishop🤮🤮🤮
How can people eat stuff that stinks.
Not as bad as Surströmming but bad enough.
1
This post is cheesist and Polite Cunt must be cancelled, hounded and dismissed from employment.
5
It would appear i’ve caused a bit of a stink.
3
Indeed, well done, Sir/Madam/Ms/Thing.
1
Cheese haters are only best pleased when having their passport photos taken.
1
I love cheese. All cheese. If a pub doesn’t have cheese and biscuits on the menu, they can fuck off. I won’t be frequenting them. Give me cheese.
0