The Taliban

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The mad mullahs of the Taliban in Afghanistan last week decided that music “causes moral corruption” and had a massive bonfire in which they burned a load of instruments.

Maybe they meant seeing that fat q*eer Sam Smith dressed as the devil in nipple tassels and a thong? Or maybe some of their fellow martyrs were traumatized by Cliffs ‘Congratulations’ being played on a loop in Gitmo for days on end. An official from the Vice and Virtue Ministry added that playing music would “cause the youth to go astray”. A family outing to a public hanging and a few amputations will straighten out the wayward youth of Afghanistan from the deviant influences of the white devils.

Many musicians have apparently fled since the Taliban retook the country in 2021 and I wonder where they are all heading? Amongst the Sudanese engineers and Syrian scientists we may also be enriched with Afghani musicians.

Maybe they will get a gig on Britain’s Got Talent?

The Rolling Heads and Pan’s Peacefuls….its a yes from Simon and Amanda.

Bbc news

Nominated by Liberal Liquidator.

97 thoughts on “The Taliban”

  2. Well greta won’t be happy with all rhat toxic smoke..

    I don’t know what the goat worriers call musical instruments I only saw one guitar on the pile..

    Just a excuse to fly tip and have a bonfire..

    Worst news they have closed down beauty salons..
    Those inbred mutants need all the help they can get.

  3. Afghanistan has the Taliban; the UK has the woke, both of whom are out to destroy local cultures and kick their respective country back into the Stone Age.

    We can laugh at the towel-heads burning musical instruments; but then when you look at what is happening over here in the UK, with statues being destroyed; books, films music and even comics being edited/rewritten. Add then there’s instant “cancellation” if you don’t follow a particular woke narrative.

    The Taliban dress in weird clothes; the woke dress in unwashed t-shirts and jeans that stink to high heaven; or arty-farty designer gear worn by the Islington High Tea & Cake mob! Both of these groups will resort to anything in order to get what they want, and respective governments haven’t got the balls to do anything about it.

    • There’s also racist sad bastard khan. Who allowed this tortoise cunt out of its shell ?

    • In both cases it’s up to the general populace to do something about it. In the case of UK, we’ll get the chance to do something about the fucking wokeness next year – if we have the bollocks to do it! If we don’t then we’ll get what we deserve again.
      In the case of that shit-hole Afghan place, if the population don’t like the fucking religious fervour and culture that they are forced to live under, then do something about it. There’s probably 40m of them and only a few thousand Taliban. If they aren’t interested in fighting for their freedom, then fuck ’em. Let them live with it.
      (As we might have to do with continued wokeness after next year)
      Is this too simplistic?

      • Who might we vote for next year to rid ourselves of wokeness?
        Not a pop, just a genuine question.

      • I was thinking they might be an alternative.
        Be an absolute waste of time, but there’s no way I’m lowering myself to vote for the usual cunts.

      • Unfortunately no political party can legislate to outlaw wokeness,
        Apart from in the public sector.
        For example: the NHS which is riddled with cancerous woke cells.

      • The British public will sort out the wokeness, but only if they are given a backdrop provided by the govt of the day.
        I am convinced that the majority (ie more than half- but it’s probably more) of the British public all want the same thing. Just listen to the ‘putting-the-world-to-right’ conversations in any pub at any time. But there are a few problems –
        1. There are too many centre-right parties at the moment, all basically wanting the same thing – Reform / Reclaim / UKIP / Heritage. This is the fault of the parties, they have got to sort themselves out and give the public a clear alternative.
        2. The ‘manifestos’ of these parties can be searched out, but they need to be publicised much more. This is the fault of the parties. They can’t be that short of cash.

        Just look at the figures for last month’s by-elections – miserable turnout, even fucking more miserable turnout for the centre-right party that it was agreed should run. If the supporters of that knob-head Keir Hardie did the same 120 years ago there wouldn’t be any fucking Keir Starmer today.

        If they would sort this out and the public took a sharp intake of breath and showed their bollocks when given the opportunity (2024?), then who knows what might happen. I’m not saying that any new party would form a government, but enough just might get returned to have an influence and start us moving in the right direction. If the public could only SEE some results, then the next time there might be enough to actually form one.
        But at the moment there is too much of a Rees-Mogg attitude with the public. He wants what we want, but says “Oh no, I’d never change my party allegiance”. What a fucking twat – we will never get anywhere thinking like that.

  4. Good for them!

    If they banned fireworks and little shitbox Cars with backfiring exhausts I’d sign up.

    To many noisy bastard’s nowadays.

    Great beards, always got a teatowel handy and music critics.

    The more I hear
    The more I like

    • Pyjamas too, cool in hot weather yet functional for policing blasphemers and uppity schoolgirls. They take a hardline in laundry theft though Miserable, best keep your sticky fingers off the neighbours pj’s.

  5. Are there any Muslamic turds left in Afghanistan? I thought they’d all moved to my neck of the woods after their stay in 4-star hotels. Now you tell me they’re musicians? How do they find any time to practise with all the visits to Universal Credit, six days a week working cash-in-hand at the barbers, cooking for their nine kids, and all day Friday brainwashing at the Mosque?

    Coming up next on TOTP, it’s Dinghies Midnight Runners with Come On, Allāh….

  6. Well, Cat Stevens will be cancelling his tour.

    The Taliban have other entertainment,
    They don’t need music.

    Would you rather go see Coldplay play live or go throw cobblestones at a woman accused of being unfaithful?

    Would you rather listen to Billy Bragg pretending he’s the people’s poet
    Or watch a homosexual chucked off a high rise building?

    No hot dog vans obviously but they have ice cream vans.

    No chimes.😁

    • A high rise building in Afghanistan?
      I thought their building regs stipulated that mud and camel shit could only take the stress of two stories.

      • Same as jug ears Linekunt, loves refugees, as long as not in leafy Barnes. London SW.

      • The Barking bellend is a cunt, like many of his kind who dwell in nice little villages or Manor House’s the welfare of illegals is always on their lips and on everyone else’s tits.

    • Cat Stevens MNC ? didn’t he release a song called “ I’m gonna get me gun” ? or i’m gonna get me some semtex ?

  7. It’s a shithole, it’s always been a shithole.

    Teletubbies in charge, what can possible go wrong.

  8. The Talitubbies do have music of sorts.

    They are allowed to listen to a lone male voice singing about how fucking great Allah is (piss be apon him).

  9. I think I’ll make a killing by going out there and setting up a Silent Disco company

    • Yes, well don’t knock it PB. The more people who don’t pay the better. Last I heard it was the Americans who had the score for the highest number of parking tickets ignored. Good for Uncle Sam say I.

  12. If it comes to London it wont mztter a great deal; they’ve embraced rapping as music and rappers can’t play any instruments. All the beatniks and hipsters will have to leave Dalston and relocste to Brighton or Bristol, bringing thieir Ukuleles and tambourines and join all the other Dylan wannabes, were they can sing about their love for all himans as the country fall to pieces..

    • I think this is a job for the 1975.
      Go on lads!
      Play them your brilliant western music then convert them by snogging each other on stage.

      Sure it’ll go well…

  13. I once attended (not by choice) a bit of a musical concert at an ANP checkpoint in Helmand.

    The headline act was some heart-throb from Kandahar.

    The music was pretty catchy in all honesty and the exclusively men only crowd seemed to be having a good time.

    Then they all got up and started dancing like a bunch of Cardiff tarts around a handbag.

    True story.

  15. All those wasted billions we poured into that shithole and now the cunts are burning the guitars we bought them.

    I know MSM brainwashing is supposed to make us feel sorry for them but I for one don’t like any of the evil vermin (surprise surprise )..quite frankly it would have been far better when we found out they were harbouring Al Queda if we had nuked the entire country or at least introduced some chemical warfare to learn them.

    But Bliar etc are profound arse kissing shite so decided money would sort it all out.

    Fucking clowns for oven.

    • Is there anything left worth nuking?
      The country is largely desert and mountains.

  16. Double standards.

    Jimi Hendrix burns his guitar.

    Genius. People fawn over the druggie cunt.

    Mohammed el sheikh burns his guitar,
    He’s terrible.

    Keith moon smashes up the drumkit?
    Round of applause.

    Omir bin dipper puts his flipflop through the bass drum .
    Everyone sulks.

    Know what it is don’t you?

    Blatant islamaphobia.

  17. They don’t, bother with having a laugh, do they
    The smile is wiped from the poor bastards under them.
    I suppose it doesn’t help the cause for an uprising, after the yanks overnight departure and left them armed to the teeth.
    Some say that they have the best old school gunsmiths in the world.

    • Think that’s in the Pakistan badlands Mecuntry.

      https://youtu.be/FinRqCocwGE

      Apparently they are pretty good!

      This thing with the Taliban,
      Either we mind our own business and leave the cunts to it,
      Or if they get lippy
      Nuke em.

      • The Taliban’s like herpes. Once you get it, you’re stuck with it forever.

        Nuking the fuckers would only be a temporary respite; they’d soon come creeping out of their caves again sooner or later.

      • Nice one Mis, the link, the world is fucking mad but fk it I don’t think that I’m booking a flight anytime soon, I might be missing a few teeth but my tongue is still intact.

  18. I do wish we were living back in the day when we had fuck all and I mean f-u-c-k a-l-l. No foreigners or internet and only 2 sexes. You could say whatever you wanted. Normal things were a luxury. Being alive was wonderful.

  20. Wonder what constitutes a good Friday night around Helmand way?

    Plaiting the wife’s beard while the goat simmers in the pot? Live readings from the works of the prophet? Putting a keen edge on the machete?

    They’ve never had it so good.

  22. I bet there’ll be a few shop workers wishing the taliban would ban music here come November.
    Subjecting the poor fuckers to Christmas songs 10 hours a day, every day for two months is tantamount to mental abuse.
    Having said that, Christmas will be banned in a few years and they’ll be subjected to the dulcet tones of wailing Arabs calling prayers.

    • I could happily go without hearing a Christmas pop song ever again.

      Carols and hymns are different.

  23. The Taliban think they’re hard, but they wear skirts over their pajamas.

    The men all hang around together at any ‘social’ gathering (gay orgy) and they don’t drink beer or like sport, unless it’s stoning women. And they probably stone them and all because they’re scared that some fanny, no matter how hairy and stinky, just might turn a man they like straight.

    And I’ve seen a few documentaries interviewing Talibenders. Always whining, sometimes crying like little girls over the ‘torture’ they suffered in Guantanamo. Soft twats. Meanwhile, our boys show a stiff upper lip after being half skinned alive by the raving puffs.

    “Yeah, so then the smelly, ugly, beardy cunt put a hot needle in my eye and set my knackers alight. He says ‘You tell me where convoy go tomorrow or it get worse’, so I tells him to go fuck his ugly goat of a mother, just like we all did last night, even though she stank of BO and his spunk. When my team burst in to rescue me, I only had one leg and no arms left. They’d sawn my nose off and fed my ears to me at gunpoint. Had a right laugh about it afterwards, we did. Anyway, what time is the pub open, Mr Theroux?”

    Taliban are tough? Don’t make me laugh.

    Definite benders in my opinion.

  24. Although I’d be tempted to join the fuckers if they threw Coldplay on a bonfire.

  25. Apparently Simon Cowell is talking to the Taliban about an Afghan version of the X Factor, called The Allah Factor.

    Contestants will be asked to sing songs from Ed Sheeran, and the 3 losers will be summarily executed either by firing squad, hanging, beheading or drowning. The winner will be sent to the UK for a life on benefits and a 5 bedroom detached in Southport rent/mortgage free!

    The judges will be Mohammed Allah Sheepdip, Abdul Hangrenadie, Ahmed Flatjacketah and Sunak Cuntikhan

    • Why go through all that rigmarole techno.

      Just say you were a translator for the british army, and everything will be on tap.

      Our army had more translators than it had bullets.

  27. As long as they limit the burning to Rap, Drill, Grime and all that similar shit that the dopey white teenage kids listen to, then no problem for me.

  29. Hassan Ben Sobah and the Taliband have just released their latest album…”Where’s the Snackbar”

    Featuring some all new material:

    Dinghy Dinghy Dhow
    Woman Get a Hjab
    Head Bangin’
    Virgins in the Sky
    Goat Love
    Djinn Djinnie

  30. The taliban are just a bunch of victor meldrews.

    Always trying to spoil people’s fun..

    Then again if all I had was a knackered ak47 and 30 year old Toyota hilux ” £12.50 for you Abdul” and a wife with more hair than a yeti..

    I would probably be a bit grouchy.

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