Suffering For Your Vanity

Posted on by

 
Two words that don’t belong in the same sentence are penis and needle.
It seems, however, that some men are suckers for punishment by having lip fillers injected into their Tiny Tim in the hope that they can gain an extra half to one and a half inches (I’m not sure if that refers to length or girth or both).

How vain do you have to be to undergo such a risky procedure for such a small, temporary benefit especially when you see the ducklip failures of many a celebrity, wannabee model, influencer etc who have had fillers? Perhaps juiced up bodybuilders may be interested to try to get things in proportion in the nether regions but seriously who else?

Call me a mardarse but there is no way I’d spend some £4500 to £9200 to let some quack with a needle double the size of my winkie for a few months before the treatment dissolved and normality returned.

Daily Fail

p.s. any cnuter boasting that they are naturally gifted and don’t need artificial enhancements aren’t fooling anyone but themselves.

Nominated by Dickie Dribbler.

103 thoughts on “Suffering For Your Vanity”

  1. Yanks! Far too trusting of medical types and Big Pharma. And mad as a box of frogs.

    • Texas is known for 2 things.

      Steaks
      Tiny cocks.

      Not their fault.
      Born that way.

      Women say it’s not about the size,…

      Look noodle dick they’re trying to spare your feelings!

      Course size matters!

      No one likes to see a man cry.
      Especially one with a dick like Peter Dinklages thumb.

  2. One of the blokes in the article said it looked like he had a pencil added either side of his knob.
    Maybe that would have been a better idea. Two pencils and a laggy band.

  3. He went from Jordan Tunnell to Jordan Tunneller.

    The article says the op increases girth.

    Have had clinically necessary surgeries on my knob and balls in the past, I wouldnt go near thisbprocedure, even i had a cock like a cornichon.

  4. The name of the girth-challenged bloke in the article – Jordan Tunnell. Couldn’t make it up ?!

    • The name of the company director is William Moore. Wonder if he has a sign on his office door saying Moore, Willy.

  5. Not being a mosquito dicked Texan I have 2 reactions off women when I drop my undercrackers.
    1) WOOF!!!
    2) hysterical crying
    Like they’re been offered up as a sacrifice to King Kong.

  6. I hope this shit has had full Stage III trials before being bought to market. Just imagine if injectees’ manservants just kept on growing until they had to be carted around in wheelbarrows or trailed down the trouser legs onto the pavement. Passing dogs might think they have spotted a tasty looking treat.

    • Japs, chinks , and other slit eyed nationalities are famed for not packing much meat .

      Think red Indians don’t have pubic hair?
      And have a angry red winky like a dogs lipstick.

      Sooties are meant to have big nudgers,
      Like compensation from God for being thick and having a perm.

      Aborigines, the world’s ugliest race have ugly Willie’s unsurprisingly.
      Tattered foreskins,
      Inflamed wart covered bellends.
      Like a tortoise head.

      Now your Frenchman,
      His is like a scorpions sting
      Treacherous, drips venom.

      A Englishman has the finest of peni.
      Upstanding, brave, honest,
      Smartly snaps to attention.
      A private on parade.

      *All information from winkipedia

      • Ps
        Russians are all foreskin and no filling
        Like a Gregg’s sausage roll.

      • Ive heard from the fairer sex that your average Indian chap is a bit smaller than most.

      • Given the lavish squealing these foxy orientals are renowned for mid coitus it seems they’re more than happy with a 5 inch or so pork daggering. Those filthy vids i hear of bear great testimony to this,so i’m told.?

        Not well adapted for the bbc experience it seems ?

  8. I’m happy with what I have but just in case, I insisted me and my fiancé wait until we’re married to be intimate. Fortunately she was pleased (she says).
    Ignorance is bliss in this case.

  9. If your chosen Fuckee complains, you the fucker should say ” You wouldn’t like it as a wart on the end of your nose, darling” from CuntyMorts school of romancing.

    • I’ve seen that cunt before. I wonder if he added plasticine genitals to his action figures?

      • Don’t see Lord Benny on here much now LL do you?

        Another one gone.☹️

        Think Ruffs gone too.
        An DCI.

      • They did indeed Arfur.
        Now it’s 30 blokes agreeing with each other.

        Where’s the fun in it?!!!👎

      • I think the ones who don’t post here left precisely because people were disagreeing with them and they didn’t like it.

    • Did they mean silicone, or “saline solution”? I am reliably informed by Matron and her friendly nurse that saline solution injections are not uncommun (ahem!)).
      Otherwise, this individual looks like an SNP Cabinet Minister., and short of a few chromosomes.

  11. There’s a saying if it interests any of you lads out there. Big man big dick, little man all dick.

  12. I’ve managed alright all this time but in my heart of hearts wouldn’t say no to another inch lenghtwise and sidewise.

    Somehow the possibility of a sepsis infected knob is a real enthusiasm killer mind.

    Afternoon all.

    • Salma getting her kit off for you and saying ‘I want you Ron, just fuck me’ would add an extra inch 👍

      But could you handle it 😂

      • Oh most certainly Sick!

        Just the thought adds that extra inch. I’d be happy to fuck her til I dropped. I probably wouldn’t survive for long, but I’d die with a big grin on my face, you can bet on that.

        What a fucking way to go!

      • Every man’s dream

        A tight little ass wearing see through white panties with matching bra covering pert little tits would certainly max out my potential 😉

  13. Mine is big enough to fill a pram, men who are stupid enough to pay for this, should be relieved of their money, but not given the treatment.
    Instead take them to the vets, let him give them a needle, society would be better for it.

  14. Having had my wanger destroyed by peyronies disease I can see how some men would go for procedures like this. Thankfully I was in my 40s when it happened so I could deal with it mentally but its driven younger men to the brink. Horrible condition for the afflicted. I’d wish it in nobody

    apart from Chris Packham, Gary Lineker, James Corden, George Monbiot…….

      • Still managed to bag a cracking Mrs and fill a couple of prams so it all worked out okay in the end 🙂

  15. In my book if you can’t tie a knot in it then you’re underendowed, and enlargement is essential. I recommend a silicone damp proof course injection. Worked for me.

    • Depends; you can tie a knot in a shoelace. It don’t think i’d want a cock like that.

  16. Rather than getting upset and infecting bathroom sealants an shite into your manhood,
    Pay the local slapper to spread the rumour your of shire horse proportions!

    You’ll get loads of interest.
    And although they might be dissapointed on the night

    No money back
    No refunds

    Fuck em.
    Long as your happy.

    • In my experience women who crave big dicks are not worth your time.

      They are usually huge arsed, loud, obnoxious beasts who proclaim they only date black men but get upset when the poor black bloke is average in size, earns less than £20k and likes Japanese cartoons, which many black lads seem to like, apparently.

  17. Nom reminds me of an std check many years ago before the ex wife would let me in untethered… Two memories of that day, 1 oww this is unpleasant and 2 the nurse farted during the procedure which nearly got me aroused. Sick fuck …

      • Is she one of those people that flushes to hide a massive air biscuit? I wouldn’t stand for that… More cauliflower curry 😋💨

    • Bum enhancing underwear?

      Colour me puzzled. I get the knob enhancing, but why the fuck would any man want a bigger looking arse?

  19. From cock to snatch.
    Both wimmins cricket matches were abandoned today without a bollock tossed either way. Seeing that the boundaries are brought in for the ladies, they could’ve played the games in the kitchen, whilst they were make the snacks.

  21. Off topic. Police raids targeting drug gangs in three Brazilian states have left at least 43 people dead.

    A shame Suckdiq Khan and the hapless Met don’t do that here.

    • They’re doing all they can. They get a warning over their behaviour on Twitter and a van with a big sign on it in public spaces.

      ‘Oi! Don’t be rude!’

    • I’d have said that, as a solution. shooting people on sight is a pretty good one.

  25. Since everyone has breaking stories on this thread, a new one
    Trudeau”s wife has left him after 18 years of feminism
    Truckers are hailing it as a victory for freedom and are offering free removal services for Sophie as they know how much she has endured and suffered

    • After 18 years of feminism?

      Trudeau was a closet feminist?

      Enquiring minds, etc.

    • I hate that cunt with a vengence, I would like to pack his cheeks with Fishermen’s Friends and use his head as a piñata.

      • The latest from Canada
        A massive traffic jam of radio listeners from Quebec to Montreal too safe guard the defection of Sophie.
        “Oh Trudy don’t bring your love to town”
        He’s fucked for good this time, the optima of cunt

    • It was the seizures he had whenever downloading new directives from Daddy Schwab.

  26. I’ve just watched a couple of episodes of the Goodies while I had my tea.

    God, I’d forgotten how good they were.
    Loads of casual racism but in a nice way.

    It was before Bill Oddie was a miserable depressed whining little cunt.

    Absolutely brilliant 👍

    • Racism for the whole family is a lost art Miserable.

      Even grandad can join in.

      Don’t worry old fella, no one is going to cancel you for your “problematic” views!

      • Exactly that LL.

        They had a jap use a battery with “everleady’ on the side😁

        Refreshing!
        Slandered the French too!

  27. London Andrology claim to be able to permanently increase length by 2-5cm and girth and glans by 30-50%. Still not much improvement to be had on a baby carrot but at least it won’t wear off like fillers.

    This got me thinking about transplants and I found that it is a thing! https://www.verywellhealth.com/penis-transplant-4778944

    There must be plenty of male to females wanting to chop off their jewels and donate to the less fortunate these days, rather than having to go with a lab grown penis (that’s a thing as well I just learned but so far only tested on rabbits). Fascinating.

    • Hang on, though.

      If the scientists get successful with attaching a lab grown penis, then men could trans to woman and back again if they find it doesn’t give them an advantage.

      But scientists are doing nothing about people who identify as Richard Branson, the utter cunts!

    • Giggling and shrieking is common when I drop my boxers, for a different reason.

  29. I’ve measured mine too, it bends to the left though so I beat it daily. It is usually 4 inches when flaccid to the left and then 6 and half when it stands to attention. I’m happy with that. And it still gets beaten even when straight. Equality and all that.

Comments are closed.