Iris Jones

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who saw this coming eh? see link below.

Her revelations crossed the bounds of decency and the outcome was entirely predictable.

Vulnerable OAP that was taken for a ride (quite brutally by her accounts but she seemed to enjoy it), or somebody that has aided and abetted an ambitious young man gaining entry to the UK. the story is somewhat lacking in details but I wonder where he us now?

Over to you dear cunters.

Daily Fail

Nominated by Cunter S Thompson.

116 thoughts on “Iris Jones”

  1. ‘Iris is now enjoying life with her new cat’.

    Sounds like luvver boy got himself some of her money and leave to stay in the UK, then fucked off.

    Daft cow, but she probably enjoyed the knob while it was going.

    Afternoon all.

  2. Least he did two years at the coal face, most vermin just rock up and its easy street..

    • He deserves a UK visa for shagging that old hag, it must have been a struggle to get his old man to stand to attention 😂

  6. The ‘whole tube of KY jelly’ bit made me chuckle, then I felt queasy.
    There must be easier ways of getting a UK passport.
    Crossing the channel on a lilo in mid January must be more tempting surely.

  7. Stupid old slapper. She’s lucky the cunt didn’t cut her throat and nick every penny she had instead of just walking off with a bag of frozen prawns.
    I like that detail by the way…..it almost makes this filthy Peaceful invader seem human.

  9. All old bids like a good rattling.

    Fact.

    Thora hird liked Nudger 7in and over.
    That screechy Anne Widdecombe?
    Likes it rough and no lube.(allegedly)

    It’s natural for woman of this age to want a length.
    You batchelor types on here should help em out!

    Otherwise people will talk about you.
    Claim your a bit ‘funny’.
    Get in there
    Blow the cobwebs off
    And make Iris spit out her Werther’s original.

    .

    • Afternoon, MNC.

      I always thought that Dora Bryan looked a bit of a goer. I think she ran a boarding house somewhere or other for travelling salesmen. She would be over 100 if she was still about. Phwoarr!

      • Hello 20👍

        Yeah, I always assumed Dora was mucky too.

        They’re all like that when they get that age.
        It’s their hormones.

        Rumour has it Ena sharples liked to be pissed on by young men,
        And Angela Lansbury enjoyed facials off anyone on a building site or so they say.

        I’m not one for rumours but believe all of them.

  10. We had our wedding reception in KFC too.
    Marvelous.

    Twice that night I was wrist deep in a bargain bucket.

  12. Love the header pic❤️

    Iris is clearly having her wrinkled bean flicked.

    The last time that was touched a yank GI left his chewing gum down there.

  13. Iris is a kinky old bird and liked to lick chocolate off Mo as she is partial to a Pharaoh Roche.

  15. Don’t know if I feel sorry or sad for her. She got a bit of nice kebab cock, probably the last fuck she’ll ever have but my god was he brave going near those wrinkled meat curtains.

    That said, I’d rather that than Dianne Flabbot’s…

  16. Apparently she ‘stunned the nation’
    First i’ve heard abahhht it.
    Must get out from under my rock more often.

      • Always makes me laugh with these stories and the hyperbole used, other favourites include people who are ‘horrified’
        an entire community in shock, an entire town appalled,, people who are terrified.
        All because the milkman shagged someone on his round.

  18. When I started reading this nomination I assumed it was about Emmanuel and Brigitte Macron. I suppose I should have paid attention to the headline.

  19. Mohamed Ibrahim…

    Once again, it’s a ten out of ten for originality.

    I imagine once a peaceful bird has given birth to child number 6 or 7 that they must be fucked for names.

    Mohamm….er Ahmed… er…erm.. Ibrahi….erm…Abdu… ah fuck it… I’ll call him Muhammed.

      • My favourite Muslim Star Wars character; Abdul Akbar.
        Fish-headed extremist who wanted Jihad against the Empire.

  20. He’s a cunt, obviously.
    But I’m not sure that he is a complete cunt.

    He walked out with nothing but a bag of prawns.
    If he had waited for a few years he could have had the lot when she snuffed it.

    House, money, more prawns and a UK passport.

    And he could have hurried the process with plenty of no lube shagging.
    Smash her wrinkled old cunt to pieces and just wait for the rest of her to catch up.

    • Yeah,
      Prawns Is nothing in the scheme of things.

      I’d of wrecked her.
      She’d need a new hip an knees when I got through with the dirty bitch.

      We’d both need handrails in the shower.

  23. Walk like an Egyptian?

    Walk like John Wayne?

    Stole her fucking battered prawns?

    Stop the world,I want to get off…

    With some bird who just got a telegram from the King.

    Jebus..

  25. He has the wrong facial hair of somebody who fingers grannies. Surely he should sport the chin-strap of the deviant dudebro.

    A chin-strap beard, baseball cap with peak at jaunty or reverse angle, empty cans of Relentless or Monster energy drink, Adidas tracksuit bottoms and a BMW with tinted windows, spoiler and Sean Paul on the stereo.

  26. Whatever happened to the quiet dignity of old age?

    I bet her family are absolutely thrilled that the old trouts in the news again. Good Lord!

    I bet she was a right goer in her 20’s. Down the docks every night.

    “Hello, sailor”

    • I’d like to get my hand on that pension book😆

      Wilshire farms at the door, get the plates out!

      • I think she’s a bit more exotic in her tastes, Mis’.
        She looks like an Apetito bird, unless it’s a visit from relatives when she has the senior specisl from the chippy; double saveloys.

      • Stuck up you mean CP?

        Well, if she’s to good for a chippy she’s not the lass for me.

        Besides,
        If we’re being choosy Iris,
        I’ve never shagged some filthy sand dancing foreigner.

  27. I bet she would give an unparalleled nosh if she popped those dentures out.

    (TTCE) imagine her warm wet, 83 year-old tongue enveloping your bellend, sucking away furiously like she was on the no.10 bus enjoying a succession of Werthers Originals or Murray Mints.

  28. Reminds me of Fassbinder’s, “Fear Eats the Soul” about an elderly German mother who falls in love with a young Moroccan immigrant. She invites her children round to meet him. Her son ends up kicking in the telly and walking out.

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