Titan, the Blame Game

Posted on by

 
Well, if the people who are currently claiming that they were offered a place on the Titan submersible had actually said ‘yes’, I estimate there would have been at least 11 on board, and as many as 17, including Graham Norton, whose post has since vanished.

As I said grief vampires to the left, grief stricken relatives to the right.

marca.com

Nominated by Jeezum Preist.

65 thoughts on “Titan, the Blame Game”

  1. I have it on good authority that several prominent members of the IsAC community were offered places but no one fancied being incarcerated with a couple of curry-breathed ethnics.

  2. Any one stupid enough to go the bottom of the ocean in one of katie prices cast off butt plugs,gets no sympathy from me.

    It’s a barnacle covered hunk of metal.
    What’s to see?

  3. That slippery fucker Richard Branson dodged a bullet. Oh well, maybe a tsunami will wipe out Necker Island.

  4. She’s a bit horsey and I’d need 10 pints to shag it but I reckon Christine Dawood is fair game now. No family and all that fucking cash – yes please, though I suspect the Dakis will all be over, fumbling around like hyenas around a carcass, waiting for their scraps.

  5. I wish we could play deadpool and guess the BBC dirty bugger but I suppose the defamation police would be after us as quickly as Markle got up the duff by son of Hewitt.

    • some welsh fella allegedly. think he commentated on the queen’s funeral.

    • I see our Jeremy is siccing the lawyers on some who reckoned it was him on Twatter. Told them his legal team are being instructed this week.

      • Whose that cinch cunt that’s also been in the fray – he’s odd – head much bigger than his body, I thought he was a batty boy.

      • “… that cinch cunt – he’s odd – head much bigger than his body, I thought he was a batty boy…”

        …so wierd I seriously thought the cunt was CGI’d …

    • I wanted it to be Greg Wallace – anything to get that moon head of the telly.

  6. “Stretched” cylindrical pressure hull?
    Laminated pressure hull (any material)?
    Window not proved to design depth? No, stop it. It hurts…
    Off the peg electronics (and thrusters as far as I can tell)? *bursts into tears*
    Gash weight release system? Sloppy backup plan? Known unreliable comms?

    Hindsight – fine – but all this was known.

    Hope it was insured, but doubt Lloyds will pay up…

    • The link to the article as provided by JP is interesting, almost suggesting that rich people that chase these endeavours should be made to pocket the rescue operation (or in this case after the will is read) when things go titties up.

      I fail to understand how someone sooooo filthy rich would have the naiveity to go into a tin can which is controlled by an xbox controller.

      What a dick.

      • They are looking for excitement as every day life is mundane for them. They can afford whatever they want and do whatever they want. The last fronteir for them is dicing with death. Fucking pricks. Wealth in many cases seems to be inversely proportional to common sense.

      • Can you imagine if daki father and son had eaten a rather hot and intense curry the night before – having to smell the curry sweat and farts for a couple of thousand metres…

        Captain Nemo is probably shaking his head in disbelief.

      • Of course, we are all believing that it imploded, but it would be waaaycist ro say that Asian farts of doom blew the cuntraption apart.

    • Carbon fibre hull made from material they got cheap from Boeing who rejected the batch for aircraft use.

      As for Lloyds, the word is that as the thing operated off the back of another vessel and wasn’t designed to leave port under it’s own power it didn’t require registration/certification, and as they operated the thing in international waters, the Canucks couldn’t touch them either.

      Besides, the waiver they signed before going down was a major red flag there in that regards – we accept no liability (read: no cunt was mad enough to give us insurance)

  7. Who should pay the costs of recovery? I propose they build another much larger sub and take a joint committee of Congressional and Parliamentary leaders led by Justin Trudeau to add to…I mean investigate the wreckage.

    • Don’t think much of the cardboard, sorry carbon fibre, vessel is left. Such was the implosion.

      Shame Trudeau, Khan etc weren’t on it. Maybe the WEF will build a rubbish yellow submarine.

      • Since my last business venture, (Unkle Terry’s Quick Fry Oven and Crematorium) has encountered some permitting problems, I have sped up development of my next project; Cuntster Cruise Lines and Oceaniac Tours.

        For the less affluent of the world’s population Cuntster Cruise Lines introduces its new Immigrant Class accommodations. Embarking from anywhere in Shitholia or Snackbaristan*, booking passage is free to all who wish to travel via ocean to the mythical destination of their choice. The accommodations are admittedly a bit crowded but the journey is quite short.

        For the more affluent among us, Cuntster Oceanic Tours allows one to pay for the privilege of diving deep into the ocean blue on our new solar powered submarine. Built entirely of recycled, biodegradable, material it offers a unique perspective of the bottom of any ocean you care to visit.

        Special discounted rates will apply to politicians, donors and voters of the Democratic and Labour parties.

        The French and Irish will be eligible for complimentary tickets on the cruise or tour of their choice…our special Frog and Bog class accommodations.

        *Progressives can embark from anywhere in the US, the UK, the EU or Canada.

      • Hi GC,
        As soon as your luxury liners are overloaded and well off shore, hook the fumigation hoses up to the sanitation vessel alongside,. give the signal to mix a large vat of cyanide and acid.

      • Assuming you wish to use the vessel again, and keep clean up costs to a minimum, might I suggest the accommodation areas be linked directly to a Halon Gas fire dousing system, or to keep costs down, link to co2 which can be pumped through the ventilation system at a lethal 50,000 ppm thus negating the need for instillation of separate systems. You’re welcome 👍

    • Hattie Harman should send her “standards committee” down Davy Jones locker to launch one of her forensic investigations.

  8. It was all a bit sad really, counting down the hours of air left, SOS noises, all complete bullshit.

    What a fucking pointless expedition.

    • I’m surprised they could go and visit the site. Although not a war grave like sunken navy ships, it should be given the same status and left in peace.

      • I think it will be left alone, can’t see anyone even trying to do a commercial trip after this cock up, unless it’s captain Nemo

    • It was, SOI, even up to the last moment I hoped that the rabbit would get pulled from the hat, but it’s now becoming obvious that something catastrophic happened at the time communication was lost, just 90 minutes into the dive.

      I’ve found a lot of the coverage extremely distasteful, all the talking heads pontificating, people jumping on the bandwagon claiming they were scheduled to go, but had to pull out, even some twat doing CGI thing about what happens during an implosion.

      Talk about poor taste.

  10. Anyone want to chip in for a sentimental plaque..

    They came, they saw,they couldn’t get out the door,and their relatives sure won’t be poor.

  11. Deserved all they got. Perverse gratification is the only label I can put to it. Paying all that money for the pleasure of viewing tragedy. I’m getting the same satisfaction that they won’t get a refund from the return journey.

    Same goes for those who visit the Jewish death camps. They should be paying to see the reverse, the tragedy of what the Nazis went through.

  12. Why do they need to investigate it further?

    If this craft had been passed off and certified then defo as it could mean there was a system defect in the testing process. It wasn’t tested so case closed.

    I wonder if they’ve found the worlds deepest rubiks cube yet?

  13. I’m bored and I’ve noticed Ali Beebie have no comments open today.

    Really wanted to go on there and wind someone up today.

  14. Imagine the knots (😁) the BBC would tye itself in if Graeme Norton had been aboard the Titan,
    Then is revealed as the mystery monster who paid £35k to this crack head kid?

    The existential conundrum would give them indigestion at The Ivy.

    My thoughts on the Titan…….

    Fuck em

    • I don’t think it’s Norton, did for a few hours. I reckon it’s Stephen Nolan.

      • Good shout.

        I googled to see who he was and it says he’s just transferred shares to some betting company or summat. They’re wondering why etc.

        Never heard of the cunt though. Looks like he never misses a meal.

        I couldn’t possibly speculate, as the BBC keep telling us not to do.

        Like they did with Tim Westwood (who could be guilty but we don’t know yet) and Cliff…oh wait.

        (Allegedly) straight, white and male? They’ll have your face and name on the telly at the first hint of an allegation.

        Puff? They’ll put out warnings not to speculate and won’t reveal a name/photo until pretty much forced to do so.

      • I understand Jon Kay (some morning TV newsreader) has taken 2 weeks ‘off’.

  16. Could’ve just watched Leo and Kate in Titanic or gone to see The Titanic Exhibition (I’ve done both). My point being either of those options are much safer. (I’m a child of the Jaws era films so prefer to be on land!)

  17. If I had that much dosh, I’d be splashing it to do plenty of deep diving, and it wouldn’t be on a fucking shipwreck.

    Stupid cunts.

  18. Sick of hearing about the fucking Titanic, cunts are obsessed with the grisly deaths of 1500 poor sods.
    Now you tube is swamped with vids about what happened these pricks.
    I couldn’t give a flying fuck about them, more worried about excess deaths and the failure of the racist NHS.
    Fuck em fuck em all.

    • ‘Now over to the newsroom-

      Good Evening, ‘The BBC presenter that is said to have asked for explicit photos of a crackhead…and breaking protocol here …it ain’t fucking me…has been questioned again by the police’

  21. Considering the daft cunts inside the Titan pile of shit were billionaires, surely they would have bought or built their own craft to go to such extreme depths?

    apparently, some previous passenger had a bit of a scare when the hull of the Titan gave a huge bang about 2/3 of the way down.

    personally speaking, the next bang heard a fraction of a second later would have been my sphincter letting go and covering everything inside in liquid shit.

    • Evening Odin….if that was me, I’d have ordered the operator to ascend immediately or I’d tear his ears off.
      Fuck me, that must’ve been terrifying.
      But then, none of us ISAC gentlemen (even if we could pony up 250k) would’ve been fuckwitted enough to get into the submersible equivalent of an Invacar.

  22. A giant Octopus thought, fuck this cunt of a thing, I told em to turn off the headlights.

  23. If you are fortunate enough to be a billionaire do you spend £250,000 on –

    a. A luxury first class cruise to the Caribbean?
    b. A trip 3 miles under the surface of the Ocean in a giant leaky tic-tac mounted on a roller-skate piloted by the modern day equivalent of Captain Ahab?

    Answers on a postcard please.

  24. The more I see of the technical details and construction of the Titan submersible, the more I think it was built by the production team of Button Moon.

Comments are closed.