The BBC again rewriting stories (89)

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The famous five is to be rebooted, with the words re-imagined for progressive new audiences..

Well that sounds marvellous, doesn’t it.

I can only imagine the casting.

George will be pre-op trans.
Julian will be black.
Anne will be a burka wearing peaceful.
Dick with still be white,but be a pathetic cuck.
And timmy the dog will have 3 legs and be blind..

The stories will be about evil whitey and how great ethnics are.

It will flop terribly but the bbc will boast about it being a triumph for diversity.

So good luck BBC I look forward to watching Netflix the day its released..

The Sun

Nominated by Barry zuckercunt.

78 thoughts on “The BBC again rewriting stories (89)”

    • Maybe they should bring Aladin i t it with that big gold sword – lob a feew heads off

  2. Mr Pedantry would just like to point out that ‘daring do’ referred to the the Sun article should be ‘derring-do’. Wankers.

    As for ‘Da Kool Five Innit’, Albeeb can shove it up its bonus hole.

      • I take The Star myself; a thoroughly erudite, hard-hitting & thought-provoking publication.And as for Timmy, he was a very “licky” dog [quote].

    • ‘The Star’ is a bit too broadsheet for me Sam.
      I think I’ll stick with ‘The Sunday Sport’.

  3. Seeing as the word ‘Famous’ is used, should the main characters suffer from sudden mental health issues when they get caught up to no good?

    • Five Go Mad In East London

      Iqbal: Dis is am great idea for coming to London to buying drugs.
      Polish Anna: Tak, dobjay weed, but we spending all our Universal Credit.
      Grorge: Ooga. My Somali friends dem give some dope for um favours.
      Phillip: I’m spiffing glad I wore my pink shorts. Where’s Timmy?
      Polish Anna: He now udentifies as a dog so he’s shitting on de pavement.
      Iqbal: Ahh, just like me being back in Paxtan.

      • Timmy’s already a dog, he doesn’t need to identify as one, unless it’s a different breed.

  4. No doubt it will be a complete failure and piss on traditional British values but the dross at Al BBCijihad won’t give a flying fuck.

    Just like Huw and Jimmy and Rolf…

    • Indeed they won’t give a shiny shite. The BBC simply produce whatever suits their interests and egos nowadays.
      As Fati Patel said, they are faceless and unaccountable.

      • Though it’s commendable how they are competing with ITV. Send in your funny video to them and old Jezza Beadle will bung you a grand… send in your dick pics to Huw Edwards and he’ll send you 5 big ones!

  6. If I recall, Nazi Germany “burned all the books”. Destroying what was once written is the opportunity to indoctrinate the new agendas for the next generation.
    I despise the BBC, but I despise even more our pathetic government and those who willingly pay a fee for their own destruction.

    This dear readers ( the rewriting ) is planned and has been for a long time.!

    • “…If I recall, Nazi Germany “burned all the books”…”

      No, he burned SOME books, those embodying liberalism, communism and any flavour of bolshevism or degeneracy. The moral decrepitude of Weimar society had to be thoroughly purged.

      “…I despise … those who willingly pay a fee for their own destruction….”

      Base indeed is the slave who polishes and cherishes his chains.

      • Beat me to it,although i wouldn’t have said it half as well.Not exactly Library of Alexandria grade material for old Adolfs pyres ?

  7. If I recall, Nazi Germany “burned all the books”. Destroying what was once written is the opportunity to indoctrinate the new agendas for the next generation.
    I despise the BBC, but I despise even more our pathetic government and those who willingly pay a fee for their own destruction.

    This dear readers ( the rewriting ) is planned and has been for a long time.!

  8. If I recall, Nazi Germany “burned all the books”. Destroying what was once written is the opportunity to indoctrinate the new agendas for the next generation.
    I despise the BBC, but I despise even more our pathetic government and those who willingly pay a fee for their own destruction.

    This dear readers ( the rewriting ) is planned and has been for a long time.!

  9. If I recall, Nazi Germany “burned all the books”. Destroying what was once written is the opportunity to indoctrinate the new agendas for the next generation.
    I despise the BBC, but I despise even more our pathetic government and those who willingly pay a fee for their own destruction.

    This dear readers ( the rewriting ) is planned and has been for a long time.!

  14. So Beeb bosses will ditch words like “gay” which appears in the original Enid Blyton books. Well since the word means happy and carefree is it not something of a misnomer for describing homosexual men?
    Nothing against them as long as they’re not bloody flouting themselves (each to their own). But we all know that suicide rates among so-called LGBT youth are significantly higher than that of the general population. A lot of them are just messed-up miserable twats and no amount of empowerment is going to fix that. You just can’t appease some people.

  16. Fuck the Famous five.

    I was no fan of the books or TV series.

    Posh little cunts,
    Like ten year old George Osborne, Jacob Rees mogg, and Ann widdecombe,
    On bicycles grassing up working men like poachers and smugglers.

    I never liked them.

    Probably the type to send mucky photos to a innocent Welshman,
    Take the money
    Then grass him up
    Destroying his illustrious BBC career.

  17. ” And they all got back safely. Just in time for Friday prayers and then a delicious tea of sheeps eyes, washed down with lashings of goats milk ! Hurrah ! ”

    FUCK OFF.

  18. “The undefinable allure and enchantment of childhood.” Do they mean getting arsefucked by a BBC newsreader or similar wokie apparatchik? The dirty fucking brainwashing bastards.

    • Yeah, sounds about creepy, especially using the word ‘allure’ in reference to children.
      I bet the bloke had to stop and whack one off as he wrote that.
      Filthy BBC wokey scum.

      • Good point Field Marshal,, trannies now maps soon, though as long as maps is pronounced correctly (n…..) should be ok

      • Nothing is beyond a corporation that jizzed it’s knickers recently, when it announced that CBeebies bedtime stories would be presented by a same sex couple for the first time.

      • ‘irreverent’ a word they often use as well.
        Usually nowadays they are so irreverent with the source material it’s not the same stories at all.

    • Famous five go woke
      Famous five go suicide bombing
      Famous five go noncing
      Famous five get treatment for mental health issues on NHS
      Famous five go county lines

      Enid blyton fucking up your childhood for a big wad of cash the cunt!

  19. They have picked an amazing show runner for a kids show, hope there are no fights in a lift.

  20. It needs updating.
    Make Timmy a XL Bully.

    In 2020 a crack commando unit of children was sent to prison by a diversity court for a crime they didn’t commit.

    These children promptly escaped the Tavistock centre to the Dorset underground.

    Today, still wanted by the government they survive as soldiers of fortune.

    If you have a problem,
    If no one else can help ,
    And you can find them,
    Maybe you can hire
    The Famous Five.

    George ” I love it when a plan comes together!”

    Dick ” I ain’t gettin on no plane,fool!”

    • Excellent Mis!
      Any idea who could be cast as Colonel Decker?
      I’m trying to think of a BBC luvvy who would look convincing trying to track down children, but I’m stumped.

      • I have the perfect man Field Marshal!

        He’s been held in a secure facility.
        We just need to spring him free…

  21. According to the article these brainwashing programmes are going to be 90 minutes long. Sorry, Buggery Broadcasting Corporation, but kids of that age can’t watch something that long. They just haven’t got the attention span, nowhere near it in fact. You should know that as it was cunts like you who helped to destroy it in the first place. Keep it short, keep it simple and keep repeating the same ideas, as Dr Goebbels used to say. Fortunately nobody will be watching your brainwashing shit so go and fuck yourselves you wankers.

    • Shhhhhhh suhsh…he has “mental health” issues so he’s now a saint again…if you get a text from him, I would ignore it.

  24. Is there ANYTHING British that these bastards will not piss on or denigrate? Fifth column bastards and appeasers of anything to fuck our way of life.

  25. Funny how these cunts get hysterical over the words “q*eer” or “gay” yet you could go into almost any primary school in the country and there will be books in the libraries promoting anal sex, exploring gender identity and fuck knows what else.

    Is Huw Edwards narrating?

  26. Its going to be renamed “The Famous Five Thousand”. The beeb are still recasting as we speak, rummaging through dinghies to check whether they are still alive and well.

  27. As soon as you see the words ‘reimagined’ and ‘progressive’ you know that they’re going to shit all over it from a great height.

    The BBC is beyond redemption and should be destroyed.

    Morning all.

  28. At 89 nominations are the BBC the biggest, most consistent cunts on here? I bet even Satan Blair can’t get anywhere near that number. Close them down the fucking freeloading corrupt bastards.

  30. I was brought up on Enid Blyton, a marvellous woman, who use to play naked tennis and enjoyed skinny dipping at her weekend house parties . My sort of woman.

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