People who do CrossFit really are some of the most insufferable cunts going.
I have lost good friends of many years to this pile of dog shit nonsense, like they have joined some religious cult and suddenly start thinking totally differently and talking another language. I don’t want hear about your CrossFit family, CrossFit community and it’s a way of life crap. Get a fucking grip.
No wonder they all hang out together outside the gym, sorry ‘box’, because no one else wants to suffer the displeasure of their company for more than ten seconds.
They never shut up about it either. I don’t give a shit about how many burpees you can do, I don’t even know what one is, or some phoney completion you have coming up. Constantly wearing their injuries like some badge of honour. It’s not clever, you are talking like a moron and starting look like one.
Bunch of narcissistic roid heads is what they. Go find a real sport to do because you frankly look ridiculous.
Nominated by : Manner of all Cunts
You need more unhealthy friends pal.
Do what I do.
Make friends at the doctor’s clinic.
Or at the food bank.
10
Or at the Terrence Higgins Trust clinic?
12
Lol
6
That’s where I met Kevin Spacey.
Great actor.
Glad he got off with the charges.
In the trial they alleged his nickname was ‘the Cobra’.
Probably spits an wears a hood?
9
Didn’t some cunt make a documentary series about him being ‘rapey’?
I bet they’re shitting it now. I reckon Spacey will be suing people to fuck now.
Of course, I never doubted his innocence, unlike some of you soon to be sued fuckers. I’ll give you their names Mr Spacey, don’t worry.
7
Party tonight at Kevin’s Mis.
Dunno if he has a swimming pool? Barrymore has brought his lifeguards whistle just in case.
“Oi! No heavy Lubbocking!”
13
Evening, MNC.
Why are the cunts in the photo all trying to look like frogs?
6
Re Mr Spacey: a huge grovelling apology and immediate reinstatement to top actor status is the least he deserves from the Hollywood reptiles. Mountains of dosh from the cunts at Netflix would also be in order. Fucking amazing actor.
6
And not in the least bit a bent borderline kiddie-fiddler.
10
He didn’t tamper with you did he Thomas?
Late night mushroom picking
Got grass stains on the knees of your parrot suit?
😁
6
Hopefully he will make the last season of house of cards now.
Cause the one without him weren’t worth watching.
2
It’s to do with those kettle bells .
They’re doing squat thrusts.
Problem is it can make you expel air and fart loudly.
If you have a gippy tummy you can shit your pants.
Ruins your Lycra hot pants.
Never squat thrust near people whos nicknames the cobra…
7
Christ Mis.
That happens when I stand up, or sit down, or twist to the side to pick my mug of tea up.
Haven’t followed through, though it’s deffo a sign that a long sit is due.
2
I’m into hospice dating.
I thought the online advert said Hot spice dating, as I like fiery food.
It works quite well though as I was never good at long-term relationships.
6
I am pleased that Kev ‘Old Vic’ is free and it’s a shame the cunts that clearly wanted their 15 minutes of fame now have eternal anonymity – I’d name them for wasting time.
4
Is that not just going to the gym?
Or is this taking it to another level of cuntish-ness..
I bet whoever came up with this idea is laughing all the way to the bank..
8
They sound like those Peloton bike wankers.
All shouting at each other “you’ve got this!”, you smashed it!”.
Never been inside a gym in my life and these knob ends are not will not be changing that.
15
“You’ve got this” a phrase I cannot stand. It makes no sense, is grammatically incorrect, is uttered by cunts in Lycra or on the telly in some ‘reality’ bollox.
And fuck the gym. It’s full of the type of people I’ve spent my life avoiding.
17
It’s a fucking yank thing and I hate them the most.
Give me a coffee, already – who the fuck says already after each sentence?
7
Gymll fix it.
7
Aren’t they those robbing cunts who fit tyres and exhausts on your car?
10
They were the boys to trust.
6
“Somebody mention boys?”
Enquired Huw Edwards. (allegedly)
7
Good nom. I have made it my business never to go anywhere near a gym since leaving school. Dangerous places full of dangerous people. Too much like church. Similarly, I have avoided playing any team sports. Too risky.
Much better to restrict social activity to the pub. Although even that is becoming unbearable due to all the self-righteous bores with their families in tow. Can’t even have a proper swear anymore.
Fuck off.
19
I like going the gym.
But these crossfit types are extremists.
Men’s Health reader’s.
What’s your personal best?
What’s your BPI?
Exercise should be enjoyed.
A healthy sweat on,
Aching muscles etc.
Scratches on your face…
10
But I get all my best noms from the Man in the Pub, and occasionally from the Woman in the Corner Shop!
3
You’re a man after my own heart TTCUS! Your opinion of gyms, team sports and church matches mine precisely. Since I retired I get most exercise in Tesco’s. The shopping has been devolved to me, which I don’t mind and the missus gives me a detailed list. Thing is, after three years I’m still not very good at it and I always do several circuits of the store to find everything.
As for team sports, They’re replete with homosexuals and other deviants and as I tell anyone who asks, teams are for people who are no fucking use on their own.
5
This CrossFit workout regimen is brutal to say the least. Those people that I know have not been able to stick with it for very long. I worked out regularly myself, but I have to save some energy for the rest of the day. If I did CrossFit to start my day, you would find me facedown outside the gym needing emergency services. I am 51 and too old for that shit.
6
I did a CrossShit earlier. I went into the bog with my phone to put in my Daniella Westbrook comment and just as the turtle head was crowning, some fucker came into the stall next to me.
No peace and quiet.
11
I did a rare and elusive ‘Houdini poo’ the other day.
4
Thanks for the DW nom contribution, Thomas.
Sorry if the gargoyle upset you.
0
A cross shit?
Where you that angry you did an Amber Turd Thomas?
In the words of Harry Hill “Dirty Boy!”
2
We’ve all known a few meatheads.
Boring cunts in my experience. Any conversation turns into ‘protein’ and ‘whey powder’ or ‘complex carbs’.
They smell funny too. And have short tempers. Probably the roids, which they always deny taking (like they’re going to get done off the Olympic Committee or summat.)
In the pub about a decade back, one lad into his meathead shite, took out a weird ‘gel pack’ as he said he needed to take one every few hours. Can’t remember if it was protein, energy or whatever. He acted like his head would all off if he didn’t take one every few hours. Obviously, nobody took the piss as he sucked the gloop out of his ‘gel pack’ and said, ‘Fuck me, he thinks he’s in the Tour de France!’
Usually have a much younger, bottle blonde, thick as fuck tart in tow too, these fuckers.
The lucky, musky smelling twats.
11
Afternoon CB…I once shagged a bird who was rather a slut. The bloke she’d shagged before me was a champion bodybuilder and she said his knob was like her little finger.
He’s presumably dead of heart failure by now, the steroid-abusing bellend.
I’d rather keep myself in half-decent shape and have a normal size cock and balls, not a baby carrot and two watch batteries.
14
I’d rather have normal sized balls, Thomas. My nob is normal sized, probably just above normal sized really (honest), but it looks smaller than it is because I have massive knackers.
They seem to be getting bigger every year too.
It’s like carrying two bags of shopping from me nether regions.
If any feminist accuses me of ‘manspreading’ on a train or at an airport, I’ll whip my strides and undies off, show her my enormous knackers and say, ‘You try closing your legs with this lot between them!’
I’m sure the judge will be lenient.
16
Sounds like you could do with a cold shower or two CB.
That’ll shrink and tighten the things up.
2
Yeah.
Get a wash.
Gypsy bollocks
4
Oh aye. Cold showers work temporarily. Being hungover too. Must be the dehydration? Or my bollocks get so pissed they climb into my body by accident?
2
Vicious cycle they take more steroids, the knob shrinks, their complex about being a real man grows, the pump up and take more steroids, knob shrinks further.
it seems to be a real issue in Swansea. Loads of ‘roiders.
End of the line though. Fuck all jobs apart from bar work, shops and other service/retail or NHS portering/cleaning.
Average salary was about £16k
Lots of Gavin Henson wannabes, but nothing to their names.
2
Was it one of those ‘fruit shots’ children have in their lunchboxes?
Also yes, the roiders stink. Fucking hell, Swansea was full of roiders and the bars and clubs stink of BO
3
They need to get a real pastime, like loafing, drinking, shagging and cunting.
Afternoon all.
15
Having never been to a gym, I had to look up what crossfit is.
“There is a 20% injury rate”.
Not only does that mean that 1 in 5 people will sustain an injury, but also an individual can expect to injure themselves during one session in 5.
These are not good odds.
I can easily go down the bar every night, drink several beers and not injure myself once.
9
There is the “75% will look like a bellend” rate too.
3
Been in a couple of. gyms. but it was full of gays.
I assume they were gay because they made a real fuss over running in the same spot and lifting things most lads ive eorked with csn pick up with two fingers.
2
*worked
*can
fingers are too big from lifting.
Ooo-rah, semper fi, tempus fugit and all that.
1
I worked with a wimminz who had the fitness ‘hey everybody, look at me’ bug.
All over social media giving stats from gym visits and 2km runs in her lunch hour.
In fact, everything, absolutely everything in her life was perfect.
Last I heard, she’d disappeared up her own ass quicker than Denise Lewis.
But it’s all a lie they’re living. They are trying to convince themselves they can beat ageing and the fat gene. Trying to convince themselves that they have a new lifestyle, different friends, a glamorous future.
They’ll probably be dead at the same age as the local pisshead who hangs around the off licence.
I fucking hope so.
12
These people are indeed (narcissistic) cunts. They pay for this. If they got a job on a building site they could get just as fit and be paid to do so. And do it on a diet of beer and chips.
10/10 to the gym owners and supplement suppliers for a cracking racket though.
Hook the mark on his own endorphins! Masterful.
11
If the cunts worked for living, they wouldn’t have the time of energy for this bollocks.
7
These cunts use their personality as birth control?
6
The gym bore.
Dull cunts who are never as strong as they think they are. They can bench, they can curl, they can squat, but try carrying something fucking heavy, awkward shape, or a bit slippery over uneven ground, and they’re grizzling and act the bitch all day because they showed themselves up.
Carrying a hod up two lifts? They’re crying by ten o’clock.
Get back on your rowing machine in your air-conditioned leisure centre, you soft cunts.
16
I usually squat and curl at the same time.
11
Absolutely Prime, and shifting things with an uneven weight distribution or in a confined fucker of a space from underneath to overhead etc, a totally new muscle set and sinuous limbs developed over the years that these Anna bollics posers would cry enough and go home buckled
2
You get some odd ducks in gyms.
Old blokes who never stop smiling
Intense birds, Karen types
Swollen steroid heads look like a infected knacker.
Various showoffs.
There used to be a bloke came in the gym I use who made loads of noise.
Grunting and screeching.
It proper got on my nerves.
One day I said
What’s with all the screaming an that pal?
He didn’t know he was doing it!
So he said.
Probably Kevin Spaceys chaffeur?
5
Indeed, a physical job is what these twats need, spend a day in a typical warehouse, you wont need the Gym,. I’ve come out of work feeling like i had a whole day workout and that’s every day, not complaining as i believe it’s kept me fit.
Don’t know about crossfit, is it an angry epileptic?
11
Best comment today, PC.
3
Afternoon JP
1
When my dad was still working we got this bloke start.
We went to pick him up and he was fuckin massive!!
My dad was mid 60s then.
This muscle cunt must of thought it’d be a piece of piss,
My dad had high hopes for him
(Size of the cunt! See his arms?!!)
He did alright first hour.
Slowed down after 2hours.
He puked his fuckin ring up into the 4th.
Couldn’t carry on😆
My dad went up to him
” You alright son?
That’s it cough it up ,
Half way through now.
Here give it here I’ll run it upstairs”
The muscleboy was crestfallen.
Little old bloke kept on going.
He was fucked!
Cunt was a no show next day.
Different lifting weights in a gym to humping washing machines up 3 flights of stairs
Hehehe 😆
8
You’re Dah Mis had the craft and the deft touch, a skill in its self that no elf an safety could teach but muscles newbie thought he knew it all cause he could bench press 200lbs hah hah, the numb fuck, he got his hole handed back to him.
2
Different indeed Mis. I confess I was surprised to find that you go to the gym considering what you do for a living, I would have thought you had no need of more exercise. Must admit it’s really not my thing but if you enjoy it good for you, no further justification required. When our elder moved house recently I disconnected the washing machine ready for the movers. It was all I could do to slide the fucking thing over a wet tiled floor to access the hoses. I wondered how the guys would cope moving it but they simply picked it up and carried it out to the van. I was impressed.
3
I don’t go religiously Arfur but when I go feel great 2 days after!
And the gym has a pool .
But if I’ve worked tend not to have the energy to go😁
1
If there’s no bar between/on top of a weight, theyre stumped, don’t know how to lift it.
2
Yep. My cousin and uncle hired aa gym bunny to labour for them. Big arms, triangular torso, designer haircut. They had to move a granite work surface from the grab lorry to inside a house. The muscleman tried to be a hero and took one end on his own.
He really struggled with the corner digging in to his girly hands and they had to keep stopoing. My uncle was in his sixties and just took over.
1
“…disconnected the washing machine ready for the movers. It was all I could do to slide the fucking thing over a wet tiled floor…”
If I have to shift a washer I take two minutes to whip the top off then it’s a couple of seconds to crack a few M8 bolts and extract the 30lb odd of concrete counterweight, that helps a lot.
2
I know what you mean. A couple of years ago I was working in a furniture warehouse, loading and unloading vans with beds, flatpack tables, sofas etc and I lost loads of weight and got much stronger.
In fact there was this one guy there who was tall and skinny as a rake but he could lift the heaviest, bulkiest stuff, at speed and all day with very little rest. He didn’t need to go to the gym and get “ripped” or “shredded”.
6
Thankfully, I have no idea what any of this is about.
4
Me neither.
2
Nor me. Seems like yet more Yank shit for hipsters to worship
2
👍
1
Sam ‘n’ Jeezum, could either of you enlighten me – what’s a gym?
2
Not a fucking clue, Geordie.
2
Never seen the attraction to this type of shit.
I imagine obsessing over muscle building fucks with people psychologically.
Personally, I run a couple of 5k’s each week combined with a couple of rounds of golf and a low (ish) carb and low/zero sugar diet.
I don’t think I’ve ever been healthier despite being a 40 something non muscular, skinny cunt.
1
10km a week HJ? Christ that’s more than six miles! Quite beyond me. As for diet, I have a scientific metod; if I fancy it I eat it.
Not taking the piss HJ, please don’t be offended.
3
Evening Arfur,
I’ve always been a reasonably active type on the sporting front due to playing football regularly down the years but I fucked that off a few years ago and took up running short distances as an alternative.
I’m due to tackle my first half marathon in a couple of months.
The healthier (slightly anyway) diet is only a relatively recent thing.
I don’t know what brought it on to be honest.
Probably just an age and sense of mortality thing.
I used to literally eat anything at anytime without giving it a second thought.
From pussy to all kinds of sweets and junk food.
These days I’m just a bit more aware of what I put into my body
3
10 clicks seems a lot but you can clock it up easily. I walk around our common with my son to calm him when he is on the ceiling.
In good weather, a 1.5 mile walk is a breeze in around 40-50 mins. 4 times a week and 6 miles is under your belt.
2
These fake tarts you often see with roid boys as well.
If the roid boy stops working out, if he suffers some injury which restricts his body building or his muscles shrink – will she still love him?
1
If I could get across a fit young bird it would do wonders for heart, that’s my version of CrossFit 😉
I never enjoyed the gym, except ogling pussy.
3
I’d be walking around the gym with a stonking ‘ard on – even the fatties would look ‘alf decent.
2
https://www.youtube.com/shorts/UvCe4UlaFLY
There you go Sick; enjoy this cute little muffin
2
Yes, I will have that one thanks Ron.
It will probably be available again after a few days, RIP SOI 😂
2
Mound of Venus.
1
I saw one jump out of the car in front the other week. Her leggings looked painted on.
Shame she looked a bit ‘duck face’.
0
Imagine if this was your missus:
https://images.app.goo.gl/joUd6wqT8ghM3f439
Then imagine her getting the horn and wanting to be shagged by a cock that is smaller than her massive roid clit!
Slightly better than being obese, I suppose…
4
Fucking hell, Thomas.
Excuse me while I rinse my eyeballs with bleach.
Old mans beard comes to mind ( it’s a species of seaweed)
2
Not a chance lol
1
Nearly spat my beer out! What a fucking mess
1
Jeezus Thomas.
That’s fucking terrifying!
1
That looks like a souvlaki 🍖 in her lap.
0
Computer said no.
Must be grim.
0
Haven’t been for so much as a run in over 5 years, let alone set foot into a den of cunts.
I did the gym running thing for about 6 months but it’s boring as fuck and the scantily-clad Instagram slappers taking videos and pictures of themselves’ is obnoxious distracting.
Crossfit/circuit-training is the one part of army PT I fucking hated yet I got paid to do it. Why the fuck would I pay somebody else so that I can do a thing I hate while looking like a cunt and surrounded by cunts? Very confusing.
2
*obxnoxious AND distracting.
1
Never heard of the phrase. But judging from what I can see, they’re bound to be suffering from a hernia quite soon. Keeping their legs together doesn’t appear to come natural to any of them.
1
Any amusing speculation on how warbling nutter Skinhead O’ Connor met her maker?
5
Craggy Island hit squad.
5
Feck me, Father Ted was funny.
4
Topped herself would be my guess.
Proper headtheball.
First time I heard her sing though it stopped me in my tracks,
Hats off to the puddled cunt she had fine lungs.
https://youtu.be/h08pCvyKfbs
2
A white Muslim convert too. Are they the worst kind because have actually chosen to join this death cult?
3
I’d go for topping herself too. She was a bit of a pisshead too, wasn’t she, despite being a ‘Muslim’?
People are too quick to say they’ve got the old ‘mental elf’ nowadays. Feeling a bit low today? Mental elf. Someone pissed you off at work? Mental ‘elf. Feeling a bit stressed with your job? Mental elf. Feeling tired? Mental elf.
Bollocks.
She fucking definitely had mental elf issues though, the poor cunt. I feel sorry for people who are so far gone.
Mad as chips. Great voice though.
5
Agree CB.
She wasn’t acting.
Crazy as a shithouse rat.
But I’ll miss her if I’m honest.
She used to always be in the papers in the 80s for saying something controversial.
Either her or Morrissey.
The papers would be outraged ( while giving it publicity in print)
And Bert and Doris Nutter from Tunbridge Wells would write in saying how distressed they were by sineads views.
Simpler times.
R.I.P.
You big mental
6
The converts always are the craziest LL, whichever band of loonies they join.
4
She was well puddled.
4
Didn’t know but for the breaking news on here,
She did own that Prince song though and the Madinke one, she was.
4
Never got over the death of her son.
Too many giggle pills and whiskey.
What a shame.
7
Probably suicide.
or hail.
3
Fuck her.
The IRA loving cunt.
A nice scalp for Dirty Harriet.
Good evening.
5
My favourite shin-head O’Connor track:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k0bjykX3D30
2
I am the only one in the gym who seems knackered and is always yawning. Weird places, not full of smiling faces like the ads. And groups of blokes going around the machines together like a gay club. As for the classes, it does look a bit like a cult.
4
OT But did anyone have Sinead O’ Connor in the dead pool?
0
Stupid cunt, learn to read previous posts you twat Juan. 🙄
2
Check out Elgintensity in YT , he absolutely destroys these cunts
His rinsing of their ‘special’ Olympics aka The CrossFit Games is waaaay too easy because they provide so much material
My favourite quote
“Nothing says fittest in the world like the cameraman running alongside going faster than the competitors “
He got quite cross when they tried to compare the cycling event to the Tour de France
2
20% injury rate! That’s being generous. I reckon it’s more than 20%.
Fair number of them end up fucking up their rotator cuff/shoulders, ACL, wrists, back, knees, hips etc.
It’s a sort of extreme version of circuit training. You have to question the mentality of people who don’t think you’ve had a good workout unless they vomit and/or are too sore to exercise for 3 days after.
There are plus points, like the camaraderie. It gets people off their arses.
The negatives are that they don’t teach proper technique with some of the more advanced lifts which take a long time to learn. It also has a borderline cult-like following which is a bit of a concern. It’s the typical American slick marketing.
I’ve heard people talking about this and I’ve know a few lasses who are into it.
Thing is I knew about this back in 2009 and it seemed a bit sketchy back then.
The founder is a “head the ball” (MNC 2023) and pervy.
https://fitnessvolt.com/greg-glassman-sexual-harassment/
Gyms are strange places but I go to keep myself fit. There might be a touch of vanity in it but I just don’t want to end up some fat fuck who has a heart attack.
It also helps me switch off from some of the stuff I’ve had to deal with in the last 2-3 years *
So if you think I’m a pansy for going to the gym I don’t really give a fuck.
I go in with me headphones on to drown the others out and focus on me.
Not to post some crap on instagram for “likes”.
*If you still visit this forum DCI thanks for recommending I take the counselling. It helped much more than I thought it would.
4
Hello Harold👍
Glad you’re on the mend.
Don’t give a fuck what other people think,
Ie- gym, therapy.
Long as it works for you that’s what matters👍
I like the gym too.
Feel great afterwards.
3
Ay up MNC,
The way I see it is. I don’t moan about people on here who go on abaaaht F1, Football, Cricket, Golf. Nor do I lecture them on drinking, smoking, taking ‘shrooms etc.
Lifting weights, running, biking is cheaper than therapy.
I must admit to being a bit smug when I see lardy 40 something blokes and I keep getting mistaken for being in my early 30s.
Pet peeves in the gym.
Groups of teenage/20 something males hoarding dumbbells like squirrells, or hogging equipment. Acting “Alpha” because they saw one Andrew Tate video
and now keep referring to each other as G.
TikTok/Instagram fitness ladies who don’t want blokes staring at their asses and don’t want to be objectified. Fair enough, but then they post pictures of their asses on Instagram for subscribers who funnily enough seem to all be blokes who are staring at their asses 🤔
Dirty Old Peter Stringfellow types who keep leching over aforementioned females.
Juice Heads who give everyone the mad dog stare because they’re hepped up on test or roids and stink of sweat mixed with protein shake
The guy with his hood up and headphones on hitting a heavy bag or randomly shadow boxing for no reason. Then stops and stands there nodding to himself.
Iron Curtains who hog the equipment and for some reason have to fucking bark at each other even though they’re only 2 feet away from each other.
The Geordie shore, tooth and tan, Gavin Henson/Joel Corry/Zyzz types. Who spend more time tanning and having their eyebrows threaded and admire themselves in the mirror. I want to ask if they would like me to get them a perch and a cuttlefish and say “who’s a pretty boy then” like a budgie.
5
I don’t really pay any attention to anyone when in the gym.
I say hello to people I know but don’t like to be mithered,
I blank everyone else out
I’m there for me.
I enjoy it.
Next day can barely move😁
Fuck others opinions.
“I’m a better man than most
And equal of all.”
– Timmy Mallet
3
Timmy Mallet there’s a good deadpool nom if ever there was one.
Fred Talbot’s another.
3
What’s wrong with Timmy Mallet?
Next you’ll be saying Magic is dead…
0
🚽🚽🚽🚽💩💩💩💩
0