Heatwave! I used to call it Summer

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Now do fuck off.
Are we having thunderstorms, with flooding, etc.

Or is the sun going to carry on shining, with no rain and hosepipe bans already in place?

Make your bloody mind up, I wanted to wash the duvet cover this weekend!

Fucking fence-sitting ditherers!

More on the delights of summer from Jeezum below.

Summer days but, ah!, those Summer nights!

It really nice, when the weather is kind and you can go sit outside with your e-reader, dog and a glass of something chilled.
Equally, when you can open windows to get a through draft.
What’s not so nice, however, is the donner cyclists doing wheelies at +90mph on their illegal dirt bikes ( oh, how I pray for one to encounter a HGV, as he drives up the wrong side of the road, whilst turning his head to grin at his mates).
Also, why do the people who live in the house that backs on to mine, think there’s a fucking forcefield round their boundary fence that prevents me, and a good few others, hearing their shite music and inane, drunken conversation?
Woman: laughs like a donkey braying, “oh, Barry, I never knew you were so funny”
Barry: ” It’s the way I tell ’em!”

Original, Barry. Never heard that one before. BTW, you’re not funny, you’re both just pissed as farts at 3pm on Saturday afternoon.
Tomorrow, around 5am, I’ll be walking my dog & playing Tina Turner at full volume, outside yours.
You cunts.

Independent

sheffield.gov

Nominated by Jeezum Priest.

124 thoughts on “Heatwave! I used to call it Summer”

  1. I remember this in about 1994/95
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7_x-dH6D9k0

    Made me want to be a young surfer type on the coast of Cornwall or somewhere. Bit of escapism for a 13 year old lad who lived in a grey old town.
    Had to have hopes and dreams when you’re young to give you something to aim for.

    I wanted to go to Tintagel castle as well which is supposed to be the resting place of King Arthur.

    Never went down there. Probably never will now because it’s full of Sloan Ranger types with second homes who’d mock me. “Hey look at him it’s Billy Casper! Doesn’t he talk funny!”
    😞

    • Do it, I have. Left the grim ooooppp north and the Muslim takeover.
      Now in sunny SW.
      Have bus pass , will travel….🏄

  2. Remember the winter of 82?

    Deep snow.
    Schools shut.
    Villages shut off
    Nice and fresh.

    I broke my arm .
    Slipped on ice.
    My mam dead embarrassed in A&E because I swore😄

  3. Why don’t you knobs get air conditioning ? Cools in summer, heats in winter….no more moaning and very energy efficient. Every Aussie house has it .

    • Some stupid cunts buy cabriolet cars in this cuntry for the 2 weeks of sunny days.
      The other 50 weeks they leak and need to be garaged.

    • Every Aussie house also has those big fucking poisonous arachnids and all sorts of Southern Hemisphere cockroaches and other foreign bugs and shit. You also have low life Abos and other imported cunts. So what makes you think you are so superior to us fucking wankers?

    • We like moaning.

      It’s the British way.

      Why don’t you lot wear long trousers?
      Like adults.

  4. The good old climate change grift.
    Just like the fucking COVID grift.
    All an absolute load of fucking bullshit
    I fucking love excess deaths globally.
    It gives me a lovely tingle in my albeit fucked by drinking and occasional smoking heart.

  6. It’s fucking summer you miserable cunts, get out and fucking enjoy it, won’t last long, sound like a load of old women ffs.

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