A nomination for the geniuses at the MoD

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A nomination for the geniuses at the MoD for their decision to retire the Hercules transport plane, one of the most versatile transport aircraft ever built.
The Herc’ is a robust plane that can land on rough, short runways which makes it invaluable for getting troops and supplies in or out of difficult areas.

It’s supposed replacement is the Airbus A400 Atlas, which has not shown it can fulfil the same mission profile as the C130 and would be an unnecessary expense when the country should be tightening its belt.

More money from the Tory money tree (they say it belongs to Labour).

Defence Journal

Nominated by Cuntamus Prime.

49 thoughts on “A nomination for the geniuses at the MoD”

  1. Surprised they didn’t replace it with Howard Hughes’s Spruce Goose.

  2. Well hopefully by 2040 the airbus will of been tried and tested.

    Need a fair few to fly the remaining honkys out of this once great country.

      • Thrown on the scrapheap just like the rest of our armed forces. Fight the elites wars and then left on the streets. Fucking disgusting.

      • black women are known for being great pilots. Contrary to common opinion, the battle of britain was fought by spooks.

      • I think id entrust piloting military transport planes to my 6 month old nephew over some identity grifter.
        See how they get on with a Fisher Price tricycle first.

    • We should be buying the latest AC-130HW the US special ops version, equipped with airborne howitzer, Vulcan 25mm cannons and the like.

      They could be deployed flying low level orbits around know parking Stanley hotspots and the beaches of Dover pounding targets at will.

      Marvellous 💥💥💥💥🔥🔥🔥🔥

      • You know it would be the last thing you every heard if at the wrong end of that

      • Our troops would be lucky to get a cheap propeller drone armed with a Twix to distract the enemy.

  3. Should think they’ll be immediately shipped off to Ukraine for free like the rest of our military equipment. FFS.

    • This new airbus will plough straight into a cliff face first outing piloted by some split arse who’s boyfriend has dumped her by text,
      Or some fuzzy felt haired mgumbi who was fast tracked through diversity.

      Dick Dastardly had better air crew than what they’re trying to recruit.

  4. Good old bird the ‘fat Albert’ as a civvy contractor I almost had to fly to the Falklands in one in the 1990s, but Crab Air came up trumps with a slightly better Tri Star.

    I’m pretty sure I read somewhere over the weekend that are around 65k ‘civil servants’ ‘employed’ by UK MoD.

    Also that the standing Army is around 70,000….

    MoD procurement depictions bounce between US and EU contractors, it would appear it’s not based on cost, capability and lead time….. but which country the civil servants want to visit next, all with their clear aim of obtaining tax payers value for money.

    Allegedly.

  5. If I may show-off a little…before I moved to classic motorsport design, I did 20ish years at Airbus and I designed quite a lot of the A400M’s wing structure.
    Alas, we weren’t allowed to include bomb bay doors to sort out the dinghy scum.

    • Nice one Thomas.

      We could do with a few gunships to patrol the Channel right enough.

    • They fly over me regularly Mr Engine. At low levels sometimes.

      Easy to spot from hearing the distinctive whine those contra-rotating props make.

      I knew a lad went to work there in the early 90s. Claimed he could shoot his jizz over his shoulder.

      I feel that’s a average claim for you though 😁

  6. Military capability designed by commitee is shit.

    Chuck in recruitment by ethnic profiling,not by the best candidates for the job,is a disaster.

    Mind you,as a nation we seem totally incapable of defending our own island so flying about all over the globe seems like a waste of time.

    Fuck projecting power here,there and everywhere with wafer thin resources for political reasons and virtue signalling bullshit. .

    Get the security of the British Isles sorted and fuck everyone else into a cocked hat.

    What a mess.

  7. Not only are the planes being replaced but the pilots as well. With new and improved black pilots, according to recent reports. No more of these horrible honky pilots in the brave new RAF. May as well rename it the BLMAF (Black Lives Matter Air Force). Upcoming missions will be to Jamaica to pick up dope and Addis Ababa for witch doctors. Chocks away !

  8. I was on a fourteen hour flight recently where the leg room provided was fucking ridiculous.
    When we finally landed I felt terrible, I couldn’t even stand up, let alone walk. I had jet leg….

  9. Anything involving politicians turns to shit. Over budget, years late or just doesn’t fucking work as well as the thing it is replacing. The HMS Queen Elizabeth aircraft carrier has spent more time being repaired than at sea and the Ajax fighting vehicle is another massively expensive major fuck up.

  10. “Retire” Our thick-as-pigshit government has probably given all of our aircraft, tanks, equipment, ammunition and ordinance to this man

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UkmI1BHAr8I

    We have to repurpose all our weaponry to now fire BANG! flags. That would probably be enough to make Big Gay Vlad’s wanker group or whatever they are called run home screaming though.

    The only thing left we could drop as bombs on the vermin crossing the channel are Labour party politicians and supporters.

    • Our nuclear option in reality is just one of Diane Abbotts farts sealed in an old torpedo missile.

      • Absolutely LL. How the hell did they seal that in. Must be with Anneliese Dodds mucous-like fanny batter.

  11. Who saw this on SkyNewsCunt:

    https://news.sky.com/story/raf-recruiters-were-advised-against-selecting-useless-white-male-pilots-to-hit-diversity-targets-12893684

    Applicants seeking to join RAF described as ‘useless white male pilots’ in bid to hit ‘impossible’ diversity targets

    To hit diversity targets some whiteys are being overlooked – the RAF have also admitted that they’ve had to pay out £5K to around 31 white honkey applicants to shut them up for discrimination claims. So we’re going to end up with a load of curry bandits flying our planes. Can you imagine being a co-pilot in a fighter place at nearly 40,000 feet and one of those cunts does a curry fart..!

    Now, I have a solution here. Pick up all the dakis from Calais. Tell them there’s food, and warmth for a few nights but they have to do some time in the RAF, doing parachute training.

    Send them up in one of those dilapidated C-130’s and then accidently hit the kill engine switch and oooops, only one parachute… .for the pilot.

    That’ll save us a fucking mint!

    • Won’t the pilot also be suntanned? If so, no need for a parachute at all.

      • hmmmmm quite possibly – good point. But if he’s a good suntanned type and really wants to stay in the UK he might be persuaded to take more of his brothers up and jump again.

      • Would you trust the cunt if he said that he would? More likely to vanish into the Birmingham black (suntanned?) economy after the first one.

    • Those C130s aren’t cheap CM. Be a shame to waste them.

      I like the idea of only one parachute though.

      Daisy chain the dinghy rats together with sturdy hemp rope around their necks and then hoof the one with parachute out the back over French waters.

      Hilarity and massive cost savings commence when the dinghy vermin with the parachute pulls the ripcord on his way out of the plane.

    • Who needs China, North Korea or Russia when we have the fucking MoD.

  12. To appease all the green wankstains, they should replace them with those planes you used to get in The Whizzer, send them flying with the elastic band.

  13. Tightening its belt!!!! Don’t make me fucking laugh. I never thought I would see the day of a Tory Government being more wasteful than an idiotic Labour Government but here we are. Track and Trace, Furlough, Overseas Aid, the never ending dinghy invasion, billions in funds for a stalemate war in Ukraine with no end in sight, still being at the whim of the EU etc, etc, etc. Pot and kettle springs to mind.

    • Not a go at Cuntimus, the way I read it I thought the Government has said it should tighten its belts, cunts that they are.

    • They only reduce budgets on useful things and piss it up the wall on nonsense and backhanders.
      Labour will be the same.
      May as well give Reform a go.

  14. Not sure about this cunting, I’ve been in many a C-130 and once or twice in an A400 and the latter was not only bigger but far more comfy and not so fucking ancient.

    Mind you, I was just a grunt being cargoed from A to B, not some hairy SF bod trying to sneak into a village to throw grenades at the farmers (mores the pity).

    No harm in modernising, though the Chinook is also old but still gold it has to be said.

  15. Reminds me of when they closed Manston. As a PPL whenever we flew across the channel in a piston engine single we always as a matter of course put Manston’s frequency on the second box for obvious reasons. Shortly after Manston was closed there was a fire on a cross-channel ferry. The fire could be seen from Manston. The Belgian SAR were there first. Some fucking wooden-headed MP then questioned whether closing Manston had been a good idea. Not considering a fire if you wind up in the water in the channel or the North Sea and you have a three figure IQ you will be wearing a life jacket. Trouble is if you’re not picked up pretty smartly you will die of exposure not drowning.

    Top of the list for government spending must be defence, ahead of the NHS, schools, social security, infrastructure, the green bollocks or anything else you care to name. Get defence wrong and you will be taking orders from the gooks.

  17. I once flew from Lyneham to Bruggen in a Hercules. It was noisy, and fucking miserable. Then on to Akrotiri in a VC10 with backwards facing seats. That was even more fucking miserable, but quieter.

  18. Loved working with the C130’s even when one almost ran me over, checking for hot brakes and the dopey cunt in charge of crash1 gave clearance to taxi whist I was carrying out my checks, first thought can I get out from under the undercarriage doors, second thought did I have a spare pair of underpants and crash trousers in my locker. Luckily the dopey bastard saw my legs and I lived to tell this tale. Suppose it’s like when the Harrier force was fucked off, made a few quid flogging them to Indians, Americans.. Bloody noisy and uncomfortable to fly in,chemical toilets.
    Never had any problems during my time. Watching them do tactical take offs was very cool, for a big and some would say “ugly” turboprop they went well. The Airbus A400 has a big pair of boots to fill and it has an odd sound when in flight.

  19. Brought to you by the same people who thought it was a good idea to send troops to war in two hot, dry sandy countries, armed with rifles that jam up almost exclusively in hot, dry sandy climates.

  20. Traitors.Hang them all.Useless shit weasels.Those lot can’t run a bath.

  22. Like the new destroyers that stop and shutdown when the water gets warm. Cutback on anti corrosion paint on the new subs fuck rust. Never building on the marvel that was nimrod, the first and best jet powered nautical patrol plane. Tanks that don’t rifles that won’t. Mod needs a good kicking and know fuck all politicos should keep the noses out.

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