Pantry Porn

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Pornography. There’s an awful lot of it about. Just go on the internet, and the sheer volume of it will burn out your laptop if you aren’t careful. I’ve seen it all, or at least I thought I had…

Then the other day I came upon something called ‘pantry porn’. Now before any of you lot start, let me quickly point out that this doesn’t involve getting your other half into a cupboard and slowly rubbing her down with warm olive oil (not that this of itself lacks appeal). No, it’s something far more outlandish and kinky than that. Pantry porn is a name that’s been given to the shocking fad of *gasp* posting pictures of your well stocked and ordered larder on social media for others to see.

By now some of you may have guessed that pantry porn is yet another loony contruct stemming from America’s deranged culture wars, and you’d be bang on the money. It’s the thesis of a giant of American academia, one Dr Jenna Drenten, who lectures in marketing or some such useless shit at Loyola University, Chicago. I’ll let Dr Drenten spell it out in her own words;

“Cleanliness has historically been used as a cultural gatekeeping mechanism to reinforce status distinctions based on a vague understanding of ‘niceness’; nice people with nice yards in nice houses make for nice neighbourhoods. What lies beneath the surface of this pro-niceness stance is a history of classist, racist and sexist social structures”.

According to Drenten, looking at pictures of a clean, nicely organised pantry thereby equate with viewing pornography. She calls these images ‘pantry porn’. Struth, who’d have thought it? A sexist and racist pantry. And who’d have thought that people can actually get themselves a tidy little sinecure in cloistered academia in order to come up with this piffle?

Meanwhile out in the real world, people are doing real jobs like collecting refuse and driving buses and trains, nursing the sick, producing food to feed us, and energy to light and heat homes and businesses; you know, the sorts of essential tasks that enable academics to sit in ivory towers and churn out worthless shit.

Here’s an idea Dr Drenten. Why don’t you get a real job and contribute something of actual value to the world? Just a thought…

Daily caller

Nominated by Ron Knee.

A racist Pantry, whatever next? CA.

96 thoughts on “Pantry Porn”

  1. A pantry is an old fashion thing, back in the days when a fridge was unheard of.
    It usually involved a slab of granite, that was guaranteed to be cold even on a hot day, keeping milk, meat, butter etc cool.
    What this wombat is referring to is a store cupboard, but store cupboard porn doesn’t quite ring the bell, does it?
    Daft fucking trout, she ought to see what’s in my store cupboard!
    Guaranteed to turn her hair white overnight!

      • A pantry is a small room or large cupboard for storing food.
        Fuck all to do with your definition.

      • Larder and Pantry are a synonym aren’t they?

        Poor old Ruby in Upstairs Downstairs. She was the ‘pantry maid’.

        What a lowly position.

      • Just been reading about it seems the laundry maid was the lowest of the low.

        This bit-
        ‘Housemaids would tread silently up the servant (back) stairs unseen and unheard with fresh water and carrying covered slop pails. Quietly, so as not to wake their masters, the servants – maids and footmen – would empty chamber pots, remove cold ashes in the fireplace, carry up coal and stoke a new fire, and tidy any messes away from the previous day.’

        What we need a Reperrations for the Domestic class’ from those times.

        I bet that BBC woman reporter Trevelyan hasn’t done much research into the Servants that worked for her ancestors.

      • The rich man in his castle,
        The housemaid at his grate,
        God made them high and lowly,
        And ordered their estate.

      • ‘Each little flower that opens,
        Each little bird that sings,
        He made their glowing colours,
        He made their tiny wings.’

        Must be tiresome having to play the Malcontent the whole time.

      • Quite so.
        Cunts should count their blessings.
        Always look on the bright side of life…

  2. Ron, it’s a shit tip!
    Everything I don’t want to look at every day, or can’t be arsed to take back to the garden shed goes in there.
    It’d give a neat freak an aneurism!
    I’ll not go into details about the trap door into the underfloor space.
    You don’t need to know about that.

      • Perhaps another day, when we have a spirited discussion between the definition of a larder, pantry, storeroom, cellar.

  3. I can sort of see where Drenten’s coming from. OK, nothing to do with waycist opwession, poor POCs vs rich PONCs, Black Larders Matter, or any of that shit. But. The sort of cunt who feels it necessary or helpful to photograph every trivial aspect of its hideous domesticity, and put it on line with the request that its moron audience responds favourably, is the sort of cunt lampooned by the late Edna Everage (RIP) for its “niceness”. It’s the sort of cunt calling itself an influencer, who is paid to punt miscellaneous shit to the gullible via social media.

    Denten is obviously no less of a cunt. But something resonates, nevertheless.

    • I think Denten has what’s known in medical circles as ” scullery envy”.

      Seeing the neat and well stocked larders
      The thoughtful supplied pantries of the orderly mind and prepared for any eventuality,
      She sinks into self loathing at her own laziness.

      Out of date hummus,
      Cheap brand beans,
      Leaking jars,
      Dusty rusting tins forced in next to cleaning products.

      She can’t compete.
      So calls the tired call of the unimaginative =RACIST!!!

      It’s jealousy.
      She’s slovenly.

      • I find it tragic to think that this rambling airhead probably believes that she’s made some sort of profound observation.

        She’s full of it, and I’m talking about bullshit.

  5. America is imploding into a nihilistic cess pit.
    No wonder President Xi is always smiling.

  6. Kirstie Allslop is obsessed with pantries. The trouble is, if she kept Phil locked up in hers, there d be no room for the food.
    Gormless tarts.

  7. Shut your hole you stupid spunk-receptacle before I ram a knobbly cucumber up your hoop!

  8. Cleanliness is a necessity, not a ‘cultural gatekeeping mechanism’, stupid bint.

    There is seriously something wrong with this person. Maybe she’s a hoarder, knee deep in old take away cartons, cat poo everywhere and her stinky pants piled high.

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