Wheelbarrow Tyres

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Wheel barrow tyres are a cunt. That’s my nomination. Totally unfit for purpose.

Our barrows…….the modern day beasts of burden for cunts that have to move their own shit about. we use them for moving all sorts of shit way beyond the original design brief yet manufacturer’s haven’t moved with the times. When I’m humping coal (shit smokeless coal,( 100kg a run) not house coal as the CUNTS banned that) to my shed, the cunting tyres that are rizla thin burst like pound shop rubber johnies.

A new tyre is 20 sheets. A new wheel is 25 notes. WTF??? a new barrow is 35 quid.

I should have nominated myself for being the cunt that repaired what has essentially become a disposable item.

Nominated by : Cunter S Thompson

43 thoughts on “Wheelbarrow Tyres”

  3. Hopefully when Dylan Mulvaney is murdered, he’s dumped into a shallow grave using a wheelbarrow.
    Shit, what an odd cunting.
    I literally can’t find anything to say about it.

    • Im surprised, Thomas, that you didn’t mention that Katie Price has similar problems, after Harvey destroys her anus once again. Her internal organs and tit silicone get vacuumed out when the Harvester finally pulls out. She then needs a sturdy wheelbarrow to transport her innards to the local infirmary.

  4. CTS, might I offer some advice…

    Get yourself to Dover and pressgang one of our dinghy friends to come work for you in exchange to let him live in your shed.

    As it’s coal he (or she, they, them, trans) will be humping around, no need to worry about the black sooty dust as they are already quite tanned.

    • I’m afraid the bottom has completely dropped out of the immo living in a shed market since our wonderful government started providing them with free hotel rooms. That’s progress I suppose.

  5. Good cunting sir. Something different. Tyres generally are cunts. Especially if you’re forced to wear one as a necklace.

  6. Any decent tyre fitters will have heavy duty wheelbarrow tyres-I have two that have lasted 20 years of hard use-been swapped out on numerous barrows, which have been worked to destruction.

    Strange cunting, one may say-“Scraping the bottom of the barrow!”

    Taxi😙

  7. If it’s made in Chy-na then I’m surprised it hasn’t burnt your shed down,hacked into your bank account and given you a hankering for eating things best left at the bottom of a swamp.

    The evil little cunts.

    • Of course it could be Made in Great Britain,in which case it’s probably on strike,totally incompetent yet staggeringly corrupt and identifies as a power hose.

      Oh and says it owes reparations to hedgehogs.

      Cunts.

  8. That’s the problem, they’re wheeling them down narrow streets, where yours were made for much broader ones. Ending up with cockles and mussels everywhere.

    • I carry my humongous genitals around in a wheelbarrow.

      I’m on board with the cunting.

  9. I just saw a bloke walk past my house pushing a wheelbarrow filled with boxes of frozen fish. One box fell off which he didn’t notice and he kept on walking.
    Well, as I always say, Findus kippers….

  10. Buy a solid tyre or get a pet dinghy chimp to lug shit about and throw in a stabby rape for good measure

  11. Solid tyres already mounted on wheels is the way ahead. Long gone are the days of using mums best spoons as tyre levers, and the footpump hose is split.

  12. Suggest you buy a more robust wheelbarrow if shifting coal, the £35 ones are for ladies who push a few leaves around the garden.

  13. I believe Mr Dyson started out making the “ball barrow” which had a plastic ball instead of a wheel and tyre. Why I don’t know.

  14. Maybe you should buy a wheelbarrow worth more than £35 cunter? That way it will be more sturdy to cope with your demands, and should it need a new wheel or tyre, given the dearer cost of a replacement complete barrow, would make fitting a new wheel more economical sense.

    I sell several barrows ranging from 35 quid right through to stupid money and everything in between. The 35 quid barrows are for light duties such as grass cuttings, straw, mucking out, bit of garden detritus etc. They are flimsy but will do the job fine they are designed for. You start dumping 100kg of anything in them and they will last about an hours use.

    • The barrows themselves are bomb proof. Proper decent gauge galv steel, pukka frames and robust steel wheels. They are ten year old and despite plenty of use and abuse still got plenty of life in them (hence repaired not replaced), its just frikkin annoying that the only available pneumatic tyres arent upto the job. I buy them from the builders merchants so its reasonable to expect a product that can hump heavy stuff about but they are wank.

      • You can get solid tyres…..i dont mean fucking concrete fred flintstone ones before some smart arse points it out, but solid rubber or plastic. They are about there.

        We dont bother selling them as we wouldnt then sell the pneumatic ones for £25 a pop!!!

    • Biden could shit himself during every speech, reignite ‘dur trublez’ with a sectarian rant, sniff loads more kids and ramble and ramble on showing clear signs of senile dementia and the media would still give him a free pass.

      The media is clearly biased. Look at the Sturgeon v Trump coverage. In the UK. You’d think there’d be more broo ha ha over the Sturgeon thing. Whilst it was the main story on the BBC and covered quite thoroughly for about 1-2 days, it was soon put on the back burner and Sturgeon/The SNP pretty much given a free pass.

      The Trumpy shite went on for much longer (even though it’s not a UK story) and the coverage pretty much took over the BBC website for a few days. The overall tone was much more aggressive than for Sturgeon.

      Biden could eat a leprechaun on live television and call the IRA and UVF ‘A bunch of gays for stopping the fighting’ and it’d be a storm in a teacup.

  16. my wheelbarrow had a flat tyre a few years ago. since then its sat in the middle of my garden, a testament to my increased lethargy. the fucker will outlive me and its declining years will probably be more productive than mine. at least it attracts a few birds now and then, even if they just shit on it. my wheelbarrow is a cunt.

  17. May I suggest a wheel with a solid tyre? Screwfix or Toolstation do these. No fucking flat tyre now. I don’t know where the cunter lives but maybe that is an option?

    • I did have one but it rutted the lawn and was a bit twitchy on rough ground.

  18. These are expensive but they do work:

    https://www.screwfix.com/p/walsall-universal-puncture-proof-wheelbarrow-wheel-350mm/498HF?tc=VC1&ds_rl=1244072&gclid=CjwKCAjwrdmhBhBBEiwA4Hx5g0oaGt2PY3QwSnLczzdm4KLKM3sLsxlELGuvcC3C16Run41pfPzpQBoCTpMQAvD_BwE&gclsrc=aw.ds

    I have two and one has outlived two barrows that it served. My moan is the shite quality of steel that the average wheelbarrow is now made from (rolled thinner than a fucking coke can).

    These are good for the price – the barrow steel is pretty good too – stands up to the average, lazybones simian labourer who whacks fuck out of the poor thing to get the hardened snots out that the cunt couldn’t be bothered to hose out before the concrete/mortar cured.

  19. Wheelbarrows are for common folk too poor to afford a gardener.

    Dross.

    • I’m not lucky enough to afford a wheelbarrow.

      But I do have a piano truck that’s harder than Chuck Norris.

      Piano trucks are a little 4wheel device for moving pianos surprisingly.

      Thick steel , 4 solid tyres.
      We got it in the late nineties.
      It looks exactly the same as the day we got it.
      It’s out lived 3 vans.
      It’ll outlive me.
      The kids too probably.

      It’s the only thing I have that’s worth more than I paid for it.

      Wheelbarrows take note.

  20. just picked up 7 barrows for nout from a builder resulting in 4 good ones after cannibalising them, and 4 new big trolley wheels and new tyres for £50 , we are now an 8 barrows family fucking better than the 2 BMW family nextdoor.

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