Men

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Men are useless cunts.

This afternoon’s cunting of women got me thinking 🤔.

Mrs Everyonesacunt is way more rounded and better grounded than I. She weighs things up , quite a bit before coming to a conclusion or opinion, unlike myself who jumps in size 11,s at the first thing that pisses me off.

And the truth is she is often as not wrong . A calm measured approach to a problem is far better than a all guns blazing approach that I sadly adopt.

Managing the finance side of a relationship for example! If left solely to me then I would buy 20 cases of beer and a hundred tubes of smarties every month on pay day. Honestly I would. Thankfully she ensures this doesn’t happen.
(So just the 10 cases & 50 tubes then? – NA)

Take the bedroom for another example. Women don’t get brewers droop or need a blue pill when they get to a certain age. Men , all of my mates of similar age and myself find that it helps.

Therefore men are indeed, at least at times , fucking clueless useless uncaring impotent cunts.

Nominated by : Everyoneacunt

135 thoughts on “Men”

  1. Is it just me but why does the man in the box look like hillary Clinton.

    And dressed like that no wonder bill fucked about.

  2. Patience, understanding, thinks the best of people,
    Slow to anger, a cool sensible head, good at watching the expenses.

    My missus that.

    She’d be useless in a war.
    And she’s shite at arm wrestling.

    Balances out…

  3. Dylan Mulvaney, before he decided to be a girl ( not a woman, like the brave Isla Bryson) more like.

    Fucking Hell, Everyone, isn’t it bad enough every bloody person in the country slags the white English male off? So we’re not perfect, nor is any other cunt, apart from St. Great of Thunderpants, obviously.

      • They say men are from Mars
        Women are from Venus…

        Sure, give us the one with all the monsters.

        Homer j Simpson

    • Jeezum my friend you cite two men. Crackers mad as a basket of 🐸 s. Men.
      I rest my case.

      • I meant the figure in the header pic looks more like Ms. Dylan than Hilary, but I take your point.

  4. Mr Everyonesacunt may be giving an accurate description of himself but he can fuck right off if he thinks I’m holding my hands up.

    Bollocks to that.

    • Absolutely.

      My wife will tell anybody that she thanks her lucky stars for the day she met me, the lucky girl.

      Afternoon all!

      • Ron, as my mate who is ex-RAF sometimes says;

        “You lie like an officer’s daughter.”

      • Ron your anecdotes about you and your rather frisky Mrs makes me think you are George and Lynn.

      • Truth is Cunty, the wife’s an exceptional woman. How she ended up picking an ugly cunt like me I just can’t fathom. I’m just glad that she did.

    • Absofuckinglutely, Freddie! I’m not having anyone call me a cunt if they don’t know me. Now, if I was a n*gong I would take it on the chin, and probably in the bollocks too, and quite rightly so!

  5. I’m with Everyonesacunt
    A partnership with a bird is based on this.

    Two is better than one.
    You tag team against life’s problems.

    Things im shite at like tidying up, cleaning, hoovering, paying bills etc
    She’s great at , and enjoys it,
    Tidying up is like her hobby.

    I’m better at farting comically, eating platefuls of meat, laughing coursely, and treading mud through the house.

    Like the Blues Brothers
    Laurel and hardy
    A double act works well.

    • That description could be a chimpanzee,mis. Pass the nuts..

      And you forgot Mike and bernie winters.

      • Bailing you out of the police cells too Mis or telling Fiddler she knows nothing about the dozen old mattresses fly tipped in the top field.

      • Things of that nature LL 😁

        I’m not a young roisterdoister anymore,
        Being single wouldn’t suit me.

        I wouldn’t enjoy it anymore.
        I enjoy a happily boring existence 😄

      • Complete agreement here about the double act Mis. I don’t like to contemplate what state I would be in without Mrs Brain. To me her culinary and financial skills are astounding. If she left me I would soon be bankrupt but it wouldn’t matter because I would shortly die of malnutrion. On the other side I’m fairly successful at maintaining and repairing the car and everything around the house and her concern is when I’m gone she will be paying through the nose for every job. (Unfortunately the neighbours also know this and when anything fails their first course of action is to ring our door bell.) We need both to die at the same time I think. I’ll have to take her with me on every journey and keep driving at maniacal speeds.

    • Yep. Not going get into an argument with anyone but maybe some just have an inflated opinion of their worth.

    • Poem sent by Rose to Fred:

      Roses are red
      And I’m in the slammer
      But what fun we had
      With those girls and that hammer

  7. The bloke next door is definitely a cunt. Every time I’m out the front washing the car, just like clockwork he has to come out and say, “You can do mine next if you like, hur, hur, hur.”

    Jesus, it’s bad enough that I have to fuck his wife for him….

  8. Not sure i agree with some of this nom but I have been called uncaring, as well as clueless, callous, selfish (with my time), obstinate, cold, arrogant, vile and a cunt – by women, some of it deserved.

    • Did they write that in a valentine’s card CP?

      Treat em mean
      To keep em keen..👍

      • Yeah i’m a bit old fashioned like that.

        I lost contact with a mate of mine because I told him, in a matter-of-fact way, that I was a bit of a sexist, which I always thought men were required to do by the feminazis (this is, of course , wrong and like saying ‘I’m a witch’ in front of Spanish blokes in red tunics).

        He was disgusted that i’d ever openly admit that, although he had been at university and hanging around Brighton for a few years before, He was such a right-on male feminist that he once openly bragged about exploiting emotionally vulnerable, sheltered middle-class girls for sex before dumping them.

        When I brought it up, he denied ever saying that.

  9. Well I say about 90% of people are cunts so he’s sort of correct.

    I sort of enjoyed the COVID lockdowns as I had an excuse not to talk to cunts I can’t stand.

    I guess I must have that anti social personality disorder or whatever they call it.

    ‘Disorder’? Nowt wrong with me, it’s not my fault there are so many cunts about.

    • Just after the COVID shite ended. Out on a do – one of those you can’t really avoid.

      Within a few minutes some cunt is putting my picture on their Facebook without asking me. I tell her to delete it and she refuses. So I’m in a mood right off. Then some twat is telling us all to huddle together for selfies she’s taking. One bloke starts going on about being aware of his white privilege. Another tries chatting me Mrs up, tells her she looks stunning in her dress – I tell him he’ll look stunning in a neck brace if he carries on.

      Fuck me. And I’m the cunt?

    • I’ve suspected myself of having that disorder. People are simply cunts to be avoided.

      Been that way since primary school, when I used to fuck off home rather than stay at a party.. I do and say things to make invitations to weddings and such less likely.

      When I was on Facebook, people would post memes about ‘not being that guy’. I always used to say ‘but I am that guy’.

      I simply don’t care.

  10. Women and finance.

    We need new curtains

    Bloke, these look nice and only £50

    Wife, no, these are much nicer and only cost £500

    I rest my case 😂

      • I have no other gender to compare with, ask Mis, he is a bit of a lad, done everything allegedly 😉

        I actuality said finance not fellatio 😂

      • Ask Mis?!!

        Yes, Everyonesacunt.
        If you pat him on the head Sicky swallows.
        Even takes his dentures out!😁

      • Tastes like nectar, used to be sour until he got his gong, amazing what fame and fortune can do for a man 🤮

  11. Where should I start?

    Oh yes!……. Visit some of the many war graveyards in France and Belgium.

    See how many of the graves have women’s names on them.

    • Brilliant, Artful, and absolutely true.

      Also, as any man will tell you, a joint account with a woman -any woman- is a fucking nightmare. Always the same: ‘How much did that cost?’ ‘We are saving for this, you know!’ ‘What have you bought that for?’ ‘I think I have the right to be consulted’ ‘You should have asked me’ and so on and fucking so on. I did it once many years ago, and I will never do it again.

    • That’s because loads of them worked behind the scenes, so to speak.
      Google Violette Zarbo, and read what they did to her, before she was executed, then let me know how many minutes you’d have lasted.

      I won’t hear the role of women put down, just because they didn’t carry a rifle.

    • I would but some pink haired women have probably covered them in paint and fecal matter.

  12. Well, CB, I’ve often wondered about my physiological aspect, too.
    I’m not a ” Hail fellow, well met! ” person, in fact they irritate the shit out of be, all teeth and bonhomie.

    Quiet people, that’s what I like. No flash, no pushiness, just quiet.

    Wish I had a Missus, though. Now I’m getting older it’s a struggle to keep everything clean and smelling nice. I’ve a gardener now, so that’s the equivalent of 3 large rooms I don’t have to worry about..

    • Empathise 100% Jeezum, including your irritation with the bloody extroverts. See my post at 4:37 above.

  13. When I look at the spouse, squatting there, munching walnut whips or KitKats, farting during “vintage” Coronation Street, too lazy to get up if there is a knock at the door or if the postman comes, staring at the TV screen all day and intio the night, and I look at wimminz like Pixieballs, thick as pig shit and twice as nasty, or Rayner, who can open her legs as wide as she can open her mouth, I can only sat that even the worst man is nowhere near as irritating as these old bissums.

    • And that horrendous Paggi woman who has the dreadfully loud banshee music on her phone, her screeching kids on the same phone, and the most whining self pitying ‘no speaky english’ voice known to man is worse than any man will ever be. When I have to put up with her in the dialysis unit, as far as I am concerned, she is worse than Hitler. Does Hitler disturb a sick man on a kidney machine non-stop for four hours? No, he doesn’t. She is an evil cunt.

  14. Blokes
    All trannie athletes
    Eddie izzard
    Tom Daley
    Joe Biden
    Kweer starman
    Risky shithat
    Suck dick Khan
    Etc
    All Mega cunts and not a fuckable Cunt among them

      • Evening Ruff.👍

        How’s me fellow ENOUGH!! Lister?

        Hope you are treating mrs Creampuff to a Easter egg?

      • Got her a bag of Cadbury’s mini eggs.

        Her favourite!

        £1.25 from Savers. 👍

      • You fuckin Jew.😁

        Missus Miserables on a health kick.
        I ate her egg.

        I’m healthy enough.

      • Jew talkin’ to me?

        I had 3 hot cross buns for elevensies.

        Scrummy!

      • I’ve worked today but planning on enjoying the next few days of Easter.
        Sun is shining
        A whistle on my lips
        Few quid in my pocket

        I’m thinking..pub!!

      • I get the impression he won’t be coming out of the closet any time soon… 😂

  15. I have to disagree with this cunting

    My ex Mrs was a lazy money grabbing bed hopping bitch.
    Left me with and our 3 year old boy, cleared out my bank account and run up debts on credit cards.
    Sounds familiar anyone ?

  16. A lot of men assume they’d be happier with their frigid, fat old lump out of the way, myself included.
    Instead, it’s just month after month of spirit-crushing, unending loneliness.

    • Cheer up Thomas👍

      Sooner or later your going to end up getting involved with some shapely lass and fall arse over tit in love.

      It’s human nature.
      Man needs a woman.
      Otherwise you go ‘funny’.

      End up like that Dylan Mulvaney 😄

      You wait, you’ll be taters deep in love by Christmas.

      • Just seen Dylan, Nike have signed him up to advertise womens sportswear, looks like a fucking stick insect.

        Nike must be going for the comedy angle 😂

      • That’s Nike, Bud light and undoubtedly others will follow.

        What is it about Dylan the yanks go mad for?

      • Apparently, Valley Gurls (their spelling) think he’s the binary dogs bollox, so all sqealy aspiring Valley Gurls have jumped on this wagon.
        Never mind they aren’t old enough to drink, that’s the “new” demographic.
        Target the up and coming booze market, not the old, safe, buys a case a week, because they are locked in.
        Apparently not. Got that fucking wrong, didn’t ya?
        And how many Gangstas are going to buy Nike, now its associated with a po0f?

      • Was there a need for a bud light?
        Budweiser? Put me right off drinking.

        What was it with the yanks and low calorie beer?
        They are all fat cunts.
        Eat a 40 inch pizza but have a lite beer.

      • There you go Thomas, bag yourself a Valley Gurl, they like dogs bollocks 👍

      • Stop getting his hopes up MNC.

        I’m glad I’m happily married and out of the dating game. Fucking mental out there. I’d have a wank rather than get involved in that bollocks nowadays.

        Thomas will be fine getting a date as long a he:

        Is between 6ft and 6ft 5 (anything over that is deemed circus-like)

        Has a six pack and has the body of an Adonis.

        Has a thick mane of hair.

        Is extremely handsome.

        Earns well over £100k p a.

        Has his own (large) house in a desirable area and has a new eco friendly leccy car, preferably a top of the range 150k Tesla.

        Has no kids or ex Mrs

        Will be a knight in shining armour and protect her from her psychotic ex who’s just out of prison.

        Is willing to take on her 4 kids to different dads.

        Is willing to put up with her mental health ishoos.

        And the birds demanding all this are the fat, ugly, doley, fag ash lil’ biffas it seems MNC.

        Chloroform and his barn are his best options.

        I’d expect better advice from COTY to be honest, MNC.

      • Well, I’ll be out in the Allegro tomorrow CB, so the women will come flocking!

      • Allegro?

        The shitness will confuse them.

        What do you think of the Maxi? We had a brown one when I was a kid. Fucking worst car ever. Within a few months, sitting in the passenger seat would get hit by small stones coming through small holes in the bodywork.

        Get a brown 70s Maxi lad. They’ll be like flies round shit.

      • Naw,
        I haven’t got all that.
        And I’m a right catch!!

        Admittedly I’m hung like a pit pony,
        Suave as David Niven
        Dance like Cary Grant
        And as Romantic as Clark Gable.
        Just need confidence.

        And when your done cut the cable ties and let them go.

    • You will find a woman Thomas. Just dont let her get her hands on your bank account or property.
      Women use stealth and cunningness to achieve their aims.

    • Thomas, there’s a reason she’s history and it’s just a transitionary period, you bounce back.
      2 our of 3 wimminz are as stupid as the third.
      Start playing the game again.

  19. I’ve a cut-throat I inherited from my Dad. It was his father’s.
    I’d volunteer to give Dylan a closer shave than even Remington could.

  20. I wonder what Big Don would think of this one? The trouble he is now in because of chasing dodgy brass. That Stormy Daniels slag wasn’t worth a shit anyway, the silly old sod.

    Mind you, I’d have killed to have got my clutches on Karen McDougal’s arse in 1997.

    • He’s not in because of chasing dodgy brass.
      Everyone knows he grabs them by the pussy.
      He’s in because he used election campaign money to shut her up.
      If he’d paid her out of his own pocket it would not have been an issue.
      The tight cunt.

      • I think it’s flimsy MJB. Charged with 34 ‘felonies’. But white collar crime is usually a misdemeanor.. And the amount 34 is called ‘stacking’. So every book keeping entry is used when there is only one debatable offence.
        Plus imho the performance of the Prosecutor Alvin Bragg has been….er….just poor.. Something desperate about it.
        And on camera many times before proudly boasting that he will ‘get Tump’. Not a good look.

      • The last thing the Democrats want is Ron Desantis as their Republican opponent in 2024.
        So things are currently working out in their favour.

      • If misuse of party donations were an issue the entire burrow of political rats would be flooded.
        Ideally. with cyanide.

      • Stupidity, coupled with arrogance, is no defence of the law.
        Mind you, it seems to be working well for our great idol.
        Which only goes to show,
        It’s one rule for globalist billionaires, and another for us little people, lol.

    • America needs a Margaret thatcher and so do we.
      Keir starmer and rishi sunak?
      Weak cunts who have no interest in our country.

  21. Men / women the butter of cuntishness is spread pretty equally twixt the sexes, it’s the luck of the draw and your ability to judge character that gets a good un , fuck me its taken me until I’m 63 to get the right one after testing out plenty of old rattlies.

    • i’m lucky in that I have a very keen radar for ‘crazy’.

      Some of my poor mates, however… They always let little head do the thinking and a few have ended up in police custody because of the women’s questionable sanity, various disorders, histrionics, goading, betrayal and pathological lying. Not a common thing, but something some men cannot seem to learn from.

      It’s incredible what a couple of my mates have put themselves through just to get their dicks wet after a bit of a drought. Many are easily old and wise to enough to know better, yet still go after the same type. Blonde, 30s-40s, like to ‘party with her girlfriends’, but repeatedly talks about herself, and her many colourful MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES..

  24. The hilarity and hype over the ‘Lionesses’ and their game against Brazil yesterday.
    First of all, the BBC gobbing off on air about how the game was a 90’000 sell out.
    An entire sell out? Really? Without any offers, giveaways, freebies and so on? Every single ticket sold out? Pull the fucking other one, They can’t even sell out Wembley for the proper England team for fuck’s sake.

    The pre-match interviews with ‘fans’ were ridiculous. All wimmin and 12 year old kids. One little lad sounding like his mum had taken him at gunpoint. The boy didn’t sound convincing at all, saying it was his first visit to a football game. And, of course, no men whatsoever were heard enthusing about the England Womens Team.

    As for the result? The Beeb wanking off like those Lionesses had beaten the 1970 Brazil, including Pele. What a load of bollocks.

    • They’d never do it, but this is how a pundit should react.

      “Yes Alex, it is fantastic that 90,000 fans are here. In fact, it shows the women’s game can stand on its own two feet now.

      Who needs men, eh?

      Yes, this shows women can now set up their own clubs, stadiums and leagues and pay for it all themselves. The players too can have the 200k a week wages after charging 2 grand for 50,000 season tickets.

      If 90,000 paying punters can turn up for a friendly then the TV companies can introduce a subscription only women’s football channel. They’ll rake it in!

      Yes, I agree with you that the women’s game is massive now. Big enough to survive on its own merits without a patronising and misogynistic helping hand. Do you agree?”

  25. Now, I know that the BBC aren’t known for their award winning news coverage. But today was unbelievable. The main ‘headline’ today? Some bloke from S Club 7 has croaked. Sad for people who knew him and all that, but somebody from a bad Steps tribute act going is of national importance? Fucking Nora….

      • I don’t think he was even one of their main singers, never heard of him. But cunts today acting like he’s John Entwistle or Ginger Baker.

        Fuck me, there’ll be a state funeral if one of Take That snuffs it.🙄

      • Yes I did do a double take when I saw that that was their lead story today.

        Sad to hear of anyone dying so young, but I’d never heard of the cunt.

        When were the ‘group’ famous? 20 or so years ago wasn’t it? Cheesy pop shite but that Rachel would’ve got it.

        Now? Probably an old hag I bet.

    • The only one from S Club Thingy I know of is that Rachel Stevens. The one with the nice tits.

      Can anybody here say they knew who this bloke was?
      That’s the thing though. Every mediocre talent and minor celebrity now attains ‘legendary’ status as the griefmonkeys gather. The cultural bar for this country has never been so low as it is now.

    • An example of how far we’ve fallen. Some sun tan called Coolio croaked due to a fentanyl overdose. THAT was on the fucking BBC’s main news web page. Only to be replaced by the story of the death of some fucking nobody in some shitty manufactured pop group back from dog knows when. Oh dear, what a shame, never mind.

      The sad passing of John Lydon’s wife? Nah, let’s keep that non-story tucked away on the Entertainment & Arts page. Hmmm…I wonder if the lack of attention and respect had anything to do with our Johnny calling out the BBfuckingC over their silence and protection of Savile?

      RIP Nora. My thoughts are with John and family. Playing some PiL now.

    • They have to appeal to their new audience of ‘mood mums’, the Karens the BBC seems to be chasing throughout its programming.

      Given many of these women were in their early teens at the height of S Club’s pomp, it seems reasonable.

      Should ST. Gary of Barlow perish, we’ll go into a fucking lockdown.

  26. Apart from family members, the only women I speak to are the ones I’d like to fuck, as it is all most of them have got going for them

  28. I don’t get Brewers Droop. I get a massive hard-on whilst drunk.

    • Mate of mine left a party telling his other half he was going to give her a good time when they got home. She told us later that he’d had so much alcohol he couldn’t raise it. As you can imagine we ribbed him mercilessly.

      • I’ve got mates like that. It’s always baffled me. I even took the piss out of one of them for regularly shitting his self and then one night I managed to get spannered and fall in the bath hit my head and then crapped myself. Lesson learnt. Karma is a bitch.

  29. i dont know about you lot but i struggle to see why either a male or female lifestyle site would come up with such an arbitrary list.(it was pulled from AskMen, although ive seen varations from social media).

    iI doubt this is what women want, as most happily married or settled men I know dont have them apart from the height and cock length (possibly)
    perhaps it needs its own cunting?

    1) At least a six-figure salary.
    2) At least six-feet tall.
    3) Drives a 600 horsepower car.
    4) Has a six-pack abdomen.
    5) At least six months since his last relationship.
    6) At least six inches below the belt.

    i tried coming up with a similar list for women
    but it was arbritrary and sexidt.

    • Also a decent place to kip and getting well fed. Most blokes are happy with that.

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