Government Agency Box Ticking

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Box ticking in government agencies.

A car is parked across the road from our house. It has been there for a couple of weeks and does not move. The rear off-side tyre is flat. Today I investigated and found that it is declared SORN and its last MOT expired in May 2022. I phoned local plod on 101 and worked my way through menus and sub menus until I was starting to lose the will to live. Eventually told I was in a queue to be answered of a length where I was afraid I might be dead before someone picked up my call.

I decided as I would shortly be driving past the cop-shop I would report it in person so I hung up the phone. In the cop-shop was rewarded with total disinterest. Told that if the car was driven and picked up on an ANPR camera they would take action. Reported the car to the local authority as an abandoned vehicle. They responded that they would not act until the car had been there for at least three weeks and that it was legal to park a car which had no MOT on the public highway. That is flat not true.

Shortly afterwards I had an email from them saying they were very pleased to report the problem had been resolved and not to reply to this message as it was from an unmonitored email account! You couldn’t make it up. I have now reported it to the DVLA who have stated that they will look into it but I won’t hear back details of any action taken.

Without doubt these organisations will each publish stats showing a problem satisfactorily resolved.

Sorry I can’t think of an appropriate link but if a fellow cunter can supply such I would be grateful.

Nominated by : arfurbrain.

84 thoughts on “Government Agency Box Ticking”

  1. If you’d told them that you suspected it contained extreme right wing and homophobic literature, they’d have been on it like a tramp on a Kipper.
    Good afternoon.

  3. You should have broken in and put a Golliw*g in the front window. It would have been gone in ten minutes.

  4. Reminds me about an incident at the cop shop where I reported vandalism to both mine, and my neighbours car. (slashed tyres).
    I was told I couldn’t report the crime about my neighbours car, as it hadn’t happened to me.
    No problem, don’t ever subpoena me in a case where I’d rather keep quiet then, cos the answer will be fuck off.

    • But you can report a ‘hate crime’ if you happen to overhear a conversation or off-hand remark about something which has nothing to do with you.

  5. Tell the plod it misgendered a passing bus and they’ll have it shifted to the crusher..I mean re-education centre in short order.

    Oh and remember to switch off your phones Sunday afternoon as it’s the government alert test at 3pm..

    The interfering yet utterly inept cunts.

  6. Easily fixed Arfur.

    One night spray

    ” W09S OUT!” on the side.

    Gone by the time you’ve eaten your breakfast.

  7. Another option paint a big alphabet people rainbow on the vehicle. Tell the local paper that the car is a memorial to a one legged transbender., you will most likely qualify for a fair whack in grant money etc don’t fight the system play it like a fucked banjo you know it makes sense.every other cunt does.

  11. I’ve started dating a homeless bird who I met at an Elvis convention, who often sleeps in abandoned cars and properties.
    Last night there was heavy rain but we managed to find shelter in an abandoned house.
    When I woke up the following morning, the water was up to the front door, she’d fucked off and even taken my shoes.
    I’m courting a tramp, I can’t walk out….

  12. Everything that is wrong with modern Britain. I only wish we could opt out of paying for these services that don’t deliver.

  13. I’ve got an appointment for a hearing test at the hospital next week.

    The wife jokingly bet me a fiver that they’d ask me if I was pregnant.

    Afternoon all.

    • They will. And when you turn round and say “fuck off wanker” they’ll tell you there’s nothing wrong with your hearing.

      Next!

    • I’m currently working on formulating an appropriate response if they do.

      All contributions gratefully received!

      • Tell them yes but you’re really there for an abortion although you’re more than 16 weeks gone.

      • “It’s twins,have you a leaflet on what the best brand of scotch to consume is during pregnancy? “

      • Evening Ron.👍

        If you are pregnant and I know you practice safe sex but if you are,
        And it’s a boy,
        Well,. I wouldn’t be offended if you named him after me.

        Little Miserable Knee pushed on the swings by his elderly dad.

        What a wonderful world!!
        – Neil Armstrong

      • Say you thought your belly was large cos you recently ate a shitload of Easter Eggs, but now they mention it, your hormones are over the shop, duckie …

      • Rom the peacefuls reckon man will be born of man and live forever. If it’s positive for a pregnancy get in fill your boots and watch the cash roll in. Kerching.

  14. There’s more chance of Lord Lucan riding Sugar past the winning post at last weeks Grand National, than that car being moved this weekend.

    It will most likely be June the 6th when it goes.

  15. In my research I was able to determine that the person identifying as the Chief Constable for the area…Rashneesh Patel…investigated this matter herself. She was able to determine that the vehicle in question had some (by some accounts a majority of) parts that originated in a foreign land. These parts entered Britain after crossing the Channel. Furthermore, this vehicle is parked in a peaceful manner.

    The investigation further revealed that the cunter who complained (arfurbrain) did so out of racial bias and was now being investigated for a hate crime.

    The vehicle will now be towed and parked at arfur’s home while he undergoes mandatory sensitivity training.

    In the meantime arfur will be responsible for all upkeep and maintenance of said vehicle.

  16. All joking aside, and I do enjoy it, this cunting is good, because its all about little Hitlers.
    Give them a tiny bit of authority, next thing you know taking delight in making your life miserable.
    When I first started work, we used to have a stationary office, with Val in charge.
    You couldn’t get a new pencil unless you showed her a nub that you couldn’t possibly sharpen.
    Total cunt.

  17. Evening Arfur.

    Great cunting. 👍

    We had a similar situation in our neck of the woods. A concerned citizen who give far more of a fuck than yours truly tried to get the relevant authorities to act but to zero avail.

    Mind you, we really can’t expect devoted public servants like the pigs to get involved over things like this – they have more than enough on their plate rounding up collections of gôllywôgs seen in pubs and arresting schoolboys who accidentally drop copies of the Koran on the floor to worry about quality of life issues like this.

    • Evening Ruff 👍
      Are you saying that the Dibble are busy investigating non-crimes?
      😁

      You winning?

      • Well, I’m not losing. 😊

        I’m in good health. I’m a white male boomer. I don’t need more power than I got… except for sometimes, when Lady C can’t seem to stop yapping!

        Evening Miserable. 👍

  18. OK…I’ll be serious.

    I don’t know what part of the UK you live in, but depending on where you live in the States this is a sure fire method of getting it hauled away to the scrap yard:

    Put a “Trump 2024” bumper sticker on it.

  19. Just got back from Sainsbury’s. I saw a book called “Heartstoppers” subtitled “Boy meets Boy.” On the cover it had a picture of two boys wearing school uniforms and with school bags and shit.
    I quickly flicked through it……it was all drawings, cartoons, speech bubbles etc, clearly designed for not very bright children. I’ve never seen such BLATANT POOFERY IN ALL MY LIFE!!!
    I was thinking of sending them an email asking why they are peddling pornography to under age children. Then I thought I’ll have the Thought Police kicking my fucking door in, up in court for hate crime. Welcome to modern progressive Britain.
    Next time I’ll look round for a Peaceful and ask him what he thinks of it.
    Alan’s Snackbar.

    • Who were the “boys” on the cover? Elton John and Keir Starmer?
      Why not? They’re two of England’s most blatant poofs and would be right at home holding hands dressed as schoolboys.

      On a side note…if we have an oven do we still need an open bonfire to throw books like this on?

      • Well one of the kids had a Starmzy like slicked back hairstyle so he could have been a young Sir Kweer. But Fat Reg never had any hair the baldy bollocks cunt. Definitely worth burning though.

    • His comments are ” totally
      unacceptable”.
      D’ja think?

      What’s him being a doctor got to do with it?
      Nasar rocket scientist crashes car!
      British Pm scratches arse!!

      Do fuck off.

      • Jesus H. Christ Himself on a unicycle! I thought that was some obscure branch of the Royal family…the Baron of Graymatter or the Count of Phive and Dyme.

        Put that lot in the oven and you’ll have plumes of multicolored colored smoke that would look like the LQBTQIACUNT+or-10% rainbow.

        Only instead of a pot of gold at the end there’s a pot of burning oil waiting for those degenerates.

  24. Round up some strong mates and push the fucker into the middle of the road so it causes an obstruction.

    Plod will be obliged to move it then.

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