Cyclists [18]

Posted on by


Or at least most are, not all.

the problem here is most are cunts of the highest order, they don’t follow the rules of the road, put themselves in life threatening situations all the time all while giving the driver who has had to take avoiding action not to kill their useless arses the middle finger or kicking the car.

As I said this doesn’t apply to all Cyclists but by far the vast majority, cunts like Jeremy Vine and his like have just made things 10 times worse, so now Cyclists are thought of as untrustworthy cunts waiting to dob you in to the law for a situation they have created.

So that’s why Cyclists are demonised and treated as cunts and no amount of calls to treat them as anything more, unfortunate for the few that aren’t cunts, but they are a rarity now, some game on, Cyclists are still cunts of the highest order….

Spectator Link

Nominated by Fuglyucker

103 thoughts on “Cyclists [18]”

  1. It always puts a smile on my face when I read of a cyclist turned into paste by a lorry.

    • It always brings a tear to my eye thinking of the poor soul who has to pressure wash the cunt off the side of the lorry trailer.

  2. I think the open warfare between motorist and cyclist is mostly confined to urban areas. Out here in the sticks drivers, cyclists, horse riders, pedestrians and dog walkers all manage to show each other some respect and courtesy. On a narrow stretch of road invariably one will give way to another, who will thank them with a wave of the hand.
    Except Pikeys that is. Never pull over, never thank you for doing so. Probably out fly-tipping, the cunts.

    • Let’s hope the do as you likeys are out fly tipping the mangled frames of 20 odd club cyclists bikes, after a night of road racing cut and shut Transit vans while high on ket.

    • By your North East-sounding name, I’m going to guess that you’ve never been around any of the country roads in Shropshire. This is a mostly rural county but the “club” cyclists around here are a blight on the roads. Fuck them and fuck the bikes they road in on.

  3. Pushbikers should by law and upon pain of death be made to ride only Penny Farthings whilst wearing a top hat and tails.

  4. The one in the photo above is pointing and shouting to his mate, “I swear I just saw Vincent Price with a shotgun behind that stone wall”.

  5. I have found that the problem with cycling cunts is that they never change pace.

    They get to one speed and then totally forget that they need to slow down or stop on occasions.

    They refuse to slow or stop for traffic lights.
    They weave around pedestrians on crossings.
    They pull straight out on roundabouts and junctions as if they are invulnerable and the only person on the road.

    When they are going uphill and holding up a line of traffic they refuse to pull over and stop to allow people to pass.

    They have the audacity to complain and often film other road users when it is them that are the most selfish, inconsiderate cunts.

    • The only time and the only way in which cyclists will ever find out how hated they are is if the rest of the human race suddenly turns on them and kicks the fuck out of them simultaneously….. kind of like that Dr Who episode when the entire human race discovered they were being manipulated by the Silence, could suddenly perceive them and went full-zombie mode on them.

  6. Mostly Cunts

    All should be licensed after taking a test (they are supposed to have some knowledge of the Highway Code)

    All should have the same equipment required for other road users, lights and brakes would be a start.

    All should have insurance.

    All should have to pay road tax.

    More road sense and less entitlement, Vine should be shot for being a stupid cunt.

  7. Stop demonising cyclists?
    Stop behaving like spoilt children then.
    The roads are for everyone.
    The pavements are for pedestrians.
    Traffic lights are to be obeyed, as are crossings.
    Maybe learn some manners and we might be able to get on.

    Ps jeremy vine is a massive cunt.

    • I think ‘celebrity cyclists’ like Vine have done the decent law abiding ones out there no favours, he revels in being a militant wanker.

    • Thanks Barry. I’m a cyclist and mentioned bellow that I don’t cycle on the road. I’ve been asking them to guess where I perform.

  8. Cycling is for children.
    Chinamen,
    And homosexuals.

    Get a van you bumboys.

    • If you were in China Miserable, they would be crowding around your van at the traffic lights and picking clean the windscreen of bugs and other delights.

      Miserable Removals and Mobile Tuck Shop.

      • I saw some on telly eating scorpions LL!

        Eating them like a scotch egg.
        Not many rats in China!
        You find one it’s in a wok covered in black bean sauce.
        They aren’t fussy eaters!

    • You know why chinamen ride bikes mis?

      Because they eat everything that has two or four legs.

      • Not kidding Baz!
        They have the stomaches of goats too.
        Can eat anything.

        Bet they don’t have expiry dates in food in china?
        They like it rotten.
        Not arsed by mold.
        That’s flavour!

        A bins a fuckin packed lunch to them.

    • I’m young at heart and a raving hetro. My cock is Chinky eyed. But wouldn’t be seen dead in a van.

  9. Satan’s envoys. 99% are insufferable, smug, finger-wagging, self-entitled, arrogant, law-breaking weapons grade cunts. After acting the cunt, they ALWAYS look at you as if you’ve done something wrong. Had one of these cunts go through a red light, straight into the side of my ambo. Unfortunately, there were no injuries to him. In all my years, nearly thirty, I’ve only ever gone to two cyclists involved in RTCs that weren’t at fault in some way.

    That tells you something.

      • Growing up, the old fella next door cycled to work at brewery.
        Pants tucked in his trousers and bicycle clips on.
        Always went at the same pace (pretty slow)
        Always whistling,
        Never once did I see him inconvenience anyone or get into it with another road user.

        And he didn’t wear lycra hotpants either revealing a faintly sexy arse
        Or a Marvin the Martian helmet.

      • Your perception does you credit! I don’t like the way the arrogant fuckers think that ‘Police’ tape doesn’t seem to apply to them and lift it up and try to ride through a scene. Every other cunt, inculding pedestrians have stopped as the helicopter’s landing, but oh no, the Tour-De-Cunt for Cunts is far more important… Cunts want to be treated like road users. When it suits.

        (The fuckers were read the riot act and fucked off at high port by the coppers who’s views were not disimilar to mine).

  10. I cycle quite often, mostly to work but also excercise, a little 45 minute route I do to get the blood moving.

    I don’t dress like some mammalian cunt but I wear tasteful shorts, a helmet and gloves to keep my hands warm. I also have a mountain bike, I don’t pretend to be like some wanker from the Tour De Cunt.

    I observe ALL the rules of the road and never jump lights but boy do I see a LOT of cycling cunts when I am out and about.

    In fact, I see cunts all the time but people like Jeremy Vine are uber cunts and I am just sad someone won’t put him out of his misery.

  11. I’ve never been in the driving seat of a car. That means I’m a cyclist and at the age of the deadly sins and the highest number on a pool ball. I never cycle on roads and I’m not a naughty pavement cyclist. I’ll leave it to your imagination where I ride my bike. You will know if you’ve been paying attention to when I’ve occasionally mentioned it on here.

  12. Should be made to pass a proficiency test, and pay road tax and insurance.

    Do all of that, and most of them will still be utter cunts.

    Afternoon all.

    • But if you give them a test to pass, they’ll probably see it as an achievement rather than an entry level, basic requirement and that will give them an even bigger ego and sense of entitlement.

      The fuckers will probably demand a participation medal just for turning up. In which case, I’d suggest giving the fuckers a mandatory, florescent, 2 foot cock and balls that they legally have to wear on their backs while cycling.

  13. Jeremy Swine completely lacks self-awareness, so much that he can’t see he is helping to make his fellow velocipeding fanatics significantly more unpopular with other road users than they have ever been.

    He really is a gold-plated cunt.

    • I hope when the cunt finally succumbs to justice (hit an run)
      That they scrape him off the road into his fuckin Marvin the Martian helmet and bury the daft cunt in that.

    • Evening PM…this might interest you:
      after 6 months and over a grand’s worth of parts, I’m about to go and collect my 1980 Allegro from my mate’s premises…it’s going to be fucking magnificent!
      I’m going to wear my neck brace.
      That 1.3L bugger will out-accelarate a Bugatti Chiron!
      I’ll see if I can post a Youtube video this weekend.

      • When you see the concept drawings for the Allaggro, it was meant to be a decent looking motor.

        There are now only 37 of them left on the road.
        I hope you get an offer for it from some museum or rich eccentric who likes really shit cars.

      • I’ve just driven it 8 miles.
        Fantastically shit!
        Miles worse than my rusty Cortina, despite being 11 years newer…

      • Ah the good old austin aggro.

        Didn’t that have a square steering wheel thomas?

      • Nope, those Quartic wheels were only on the mk1, BZ. Mine’s 1980.

      • Thanks Thomas, I’ll eagerly await it.

        I trust it is finished in babysick hue with shit brown coloured dralon seats?

        BL = unfettered luxury.

      • Allegro=fucking luxury Thomas.
        I learned to drive, around the farm estate, aged 14, in a Renault 4😢
        Fucking noddy car-a2CV without the charm.
        Look forward to your video👍

      • Easter Sunday afternoon 1999 CG, took our elder daughter for a practice driving our 2.9 Granada round Asda’s deserted car park. Must say, I was impressed how quickly she took to driving for the first time, even featherig off the brakes nicely in just a few stops. She then wanted to drive us back home and was disappointed when I refused to let her. She was eleven at the time.

  14. The good news is the Jeremy Vine films himself from about 10 angles.

    We’ll get a glorious 360 degree 4KHD view if him being turned into jam.

    I only saw his ‘woooah no no!’ videos recently.

    You know, the ones where he’s going too fast and tries to nip in front of a turning bus? Or the ones where he fucking deliberately hides behind a van at the lights (he had no need to), then moans when a taxi pulls out in front of him?

    He’s a fucking prick, but he’ll end up splattered on the road soon enough with that attitude.

    Keep playing chicken/hide and jump out in front of a junction with buses and lorries, you fucking clown.

    • And he’ll be mourned by no-one, especially his own family, who will probably be glad to see the last of the supercilious bellend.

  15. Cyclists need the DPRK anti aircraft gun treatment.

    Next customer.

  16. I cant believe people of my age who would have had push bikes made of whatever you could get your hands on, rod brakes odd wheels etc wear helmets. Fuck i, we used to fall off and lose teeth and break bits of ourselves made you tougher and less likely to become a gay, never knew anyone that was killed or hospitalised by a bicycle.
    Anyway modern cunts are pathetic safety obsessed tossers, bit of danger is good for you.

    • Got to disagree. I’ve been to a multitude of incidents where a helmet has saved the life of the wearer (Vine should stop wearing one) or lessened the injuries. A subarachnoid haemorrhage is no laughing matter and your chances of receiving one, or a more serious one (it may still happen even if you’re wearing a helmet) will increase dramatically.

      • However, there is a plethora of research that indicates that they do not reduce extracranial damage.

      • Fuck me sideways. I must stop believing my own eyes and medical experts.

        Right, I’m going to smack you on the head with a cricket bat – there’s a helmet on the table in front of you.

        You have ten seconds to decide.

      • Read the research.

        Helmets significantly reduce intracranial injuries, not extracranial.

        I think you will find that a Cochrane review is an acceptable evidence base.

        May I suggest a tad less hysteria?

      • Evening DCI…it always staggers me when I see motorcyclists in t-shirts. Fucking unbelievable.
        Have you seen a de-gloved hand or foot on your calls?
        You’ll be please to know that I always ride (very fast, admittedly) in full armoured leathers, no matter how hot it is.

      • Good evening, I most cetainly have, Mr Cunt-Engine. Saw one, back flailed, skinned to the spine, heel bones ground down to nothing plus a plethora of other injuries. Glad to hear that ISAC’s resident cultural attachè’s a sensible chap👍

      • 31 years ago, 1 went round a sharp bend, knee down.
        Wet road-used to that. Unfortunately, a long steel drain inspection cover was covered in oil.
        I lost the bike and slid down a B road at 60mph. It was surreal.
        The bike and I were sliding separately, at one point it went in front of me and kissed the kerb, sending it away to the right, just before I was about to collide-a blizzard, high speed ballet.
        I thought-“This is it.”

        Incredibly, I got up, pushed the Bike into a driveway and walked home 2 miles.
        It was my Birthday.
        I had on full, 2 piece leathers, quality 2 piece waterproofs and a small rucksack.
        The rucksack was worn away, the waterproofs shredded, the helmet rubbed through, almost to the inside.
        I still have the jacket (it still fits, although a fair bit tighter).

        I am a massive advocate for the right protective equipment 🙂

      • The last time I came off a motorbike was due to ice on a nasty bend. For some reason I ended up sliding down the road on my front. My full face helmet saved me from having my face ground off, my boots saved my feet, gloves my hands. Any one riding a bike sans protective gear is a bigger head the ball than I am.

  17. Had the immense pleasure of walking home from work today and managed to hold up a cyclist for a good 200 yards at a strolling pace.

    Hemmed in between hedges and railings, he was dinging his little bell and I chose to ignore the fuck out of the cunt.

    It gave great satisfaction.

  18. Breaking news***

    Donnie Trump pleads Not Guilty in court in New York.

    Things on both sides are going to get nasty.

    • Is that both sides of his parting.

      Anyway he was asking for trouble banging someone called stormy,never gonna end well.

      • Agree.
        He should have grabbed her by the pussy and left it at that.
        Would have avoided all this unpleasantness.

      • My thoughts on this. Trump’s dance moves leave a lot to be desired. He’s certainly not Michael Jackson. Still it would shown defiance if he had gone into them after getting out of the car.

      • Big Don and his slags, eh? What’s he like?….🤣

        I wonder if that other White House fanny ferret, Bill Clinton has any advice for Don?🤔

      • He’ll be 210yrs old when he gets out.

        His missus says she’ll wait for him..

      • He might well be guilty anyway, but I doubt he’s going to get a fair trial.

        He’s fooked lad.

        210 when he gets out? I think only Gary Lineker is immortal to be honest.

      • I am interested in the mug shot. We maybe able to see how the hair thing is worked, where the comb over starts and where it finishes.

      • No mugshot taken.
        But he’s got a fake mugshot T-shirt on sale at $47 (£37.86) a pop,
        If you’re mug enough to buy one.

  19. Rich cunt pays a prozzie a shitload of money for a shag. Lucky old prozzie I say.
    Randy Andy paid an awful lot more and it wasn’t even his money!…….it was MY fucking money?
    Where’s my fucking shag?
    Cunts.

    • His mistake was paying the slag to keep her trap shut using campaign funds.
      If he’d paid her out of his own pocket it wouldn’t have been an issue.
      Tight cunt.

  21. Dunno Why Donald was slipping that Stormy Daniels one anyway?

    His missus is fitter.

    Who’d of thought a porn star would be a grassing cunt?!

    That’s the trouble these days.
    Nobody has any morals.

    • Anyway, I’m sure he’ll get a fair ,level headed, impartial hearing……

      • Aye.

        He paid the slag 100 grand or whatever it was to keep schtum.

        I hope she wakes up with a horse’s head next to her. Bloody grass. Donnie should ask for a refund.

        Mind you, I bet it’s not the first time she’s had a horse’s head.

      • Sleepy Joes last pay off when he couldn’t keep his dick in his pants was to a Victorian brothel madam.

  22. The most important question here is. Would you shag Stormy Daniels, knowing that Donny Tango has already been up there ( allegedly ) ?
    I’d let her give me a wank.
    But no more.
    And I wouldn’t pay.
    But I might buy her a bag of chips on the way home.

    • If he chooses to bugger black boys, he’s only got himself to blame.
      Should have done a O.J Simpson and done a runner live on TV!
      Look forward to seeing Stormzy testifying in court.

    • Wouldn’t touch Stormy Daniels with a nob I’d found in the street. Probably riddled with STDs, the AIDS and Donnie’s spunk. Would probably steal your wallet while you slept.

      Melania? Phwaoor not ‘arf! Gives me the right horn she does. It is off-putting knowing Trumpy has covered her in his spunk, but I’d still have a go on it.

      If it was a deal breaker, I’d probably even let Trumpy sit in the corner wanking while I banged his Mrs. Maybe even let President Senile sit in the other corner playing with his own turds too?

  23. I heard some libtard tart on the radio crying about this Stormy whore. “I’m going to call her Stephanie because that’s her real name and she’s a real woman and a mother and blah blah woof woof.”
    Oh please fuck off. Are these snowflake arseholes actually real? Do they think we are all stupid cunts? Just fuck the fuck off for fucks sake.

    • ” your mum’s a porn star”

      Stormy’s kids little Windy and Breezy must be so proud.

      ” I brought down a ex president and also was filmed getting fucked off a German shepherd “

      • It’s shame if her kids are getting picked on because their mum is a whore.

        Here’s an idea. If you don’t want your kids to get similar abuse in the playground, don’t fuck random blokes on camera for cash and then grass the President of the USA after shagging him (which she got money for too, the slag.)

        Allegedly.

    • His mistake was paying her to keep her trap shut using campaign funds.
      If he’d paid her out of his own pocket there wouldn’t have been a problem.
      Tight cunt.

  24. Off topic, but great to hear Ken Bruce is still on air for Greatest Hits Radio.
    Fuck knows what sort of arsehole the BBC have replaced him with. Some cunt like Vernon Kay probably.

    Give ’em Hell, Ken.

    • Hi Norm, yes that clueless, dribbling, soppy cunt Vernon Kay is taking over in May, the void being filled, temporarily, by Gary Davies. Kay is to music knowledge what I am to advanced brain surgery.

      This is what comes of letting some daft splitarse run Radio 2. Helen ‘John’ Thomas in this case.

    • ‘Boom!’ all the way for me, Norm. (Apart from Popmaster at 1030hrs, and at work as the trucks don’t have DAB).

Comments are closed.