Self Checkout Chuggers (4)

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Now I began to notice this last year at Tesco’s when using the self service machines.

I have finished scanning my items, time to pay, up pops would you like to donate to said charity. Your total has been rounded up to the nearest pound, press yes or no.

Is there no escape from this anymore, tv is full of commercials give money to this or that.

I wonder how many people have accidentally hit yes?

I don’t know about other supermarkets doing this but I suppose its just a matter of time.

Mr Tesco can I just pay for my shopping in peace please.

Essex Live

Nominated by: Barry zuckercunt

70 thoughts on “Self Checkout Chuggers (4)”

  1. I have recently purchased several reasonably expensive items from different retailers-and have delighted in the surprised look on the assistants face when I have given a resounding “No!” to the question.

    Fucking cheeky twats!

    A cunting practice, well cunted👍

  2. Fair enough. Charity CEO’s six-figure salaries, gold-plated pensions, EVs and worldwide travel to charity junkets don’t pay for themselves you know Barry.

  3. I fucking hate self checkouts with a passion. If I wanted to work for Sainsbury’s I’d apply for a job…….and I’d expect to get fucking paid! In the meantime I’m working for the cunts for nothing and doing people out of a job. I also hate the fact that they put that little screen above your head so you can see yourself in it……yeah we’re watching you , you thieving cunt. Fuck them, I’d rather stand in the fucking queue than use those fucking things. I haven’t come across this charidee scam yet but I shall watch out for it. Those scamming bastards ain’t getting any of my coin the fucking cunts.

  4. You can find the same at petrol stations. When paying by card, the readout “do you want to donate to charity” is the first thing you see on the card machine.

    I always press the red NO button, pay and piss off on my way, sound in the knowledge that not one penny of my hard earned is subsidising the eye-watering salary of some cunting David Miliband type.

    Fuck off.

    • Unfortunately, if you pay tax, you probably fund charities, as the government provides some of their income. I might be wrong, but I think that’s the case. There’s no escape!

      • You would be wise to avoid supermarket petrol. It is known in the industry to be poor quality. Various pundits will tell you all petrol meets the same British standard and is all the same. This standard means only that your engine will not go pop as you actually drive away from the pump. The various brands all have a cocktail of additives to enhance the life and performance of your engine which the supermarkets will not pay for. The management systems on modern engines are very good at hiding the effects of poor quality fuel. Older cunters will remember when cars had ignition systems with single coils and mechanical distributors how your engine would pink like fuck on supermarket petrol and run sweetly on branded fuel. Be aware that amongst the perpetrators of the “it’s all the same” myth are the delivery tanker drivers. They will tell you that when they collect the petrol it all comes from the same supply point no matter where it is to be delivered. Trouble is, unless they actually inquire they are not aware that the additives are mixed in as the petrol is pumped into their tanker according to the brand retailer. Recently ethanol has been added to some petrol supplies. This is bad news, you may as well piss in your tank. It was noticed early on that it led to increased fuel consumption but we are going to discover the real damage in the longer term. Note that higher octane petrol may contain only a quarter of the proportion of ethanol allowed in lower octane ratings Your engine will also prefer the higher octane stuff giving slightly enhanced performance and fuel consumption. I have heard that Shell and Esso add no ethanol to their high octane fuel but that information is now months old and it’s difficult to extract up to date information because it doesn’t fit the narrative of the green bullshit.

  5. A lot of stores have them, Wilko (formerly Wilkinsons) and Poundland are two non supermarkets who have them. It is often not stated WHICH charity it is for – you might be giving money to Care 4 Calais. If it were for an animal charity I would give, but I don’t yet know of any who are.

    What really boils my piss however, is old Sainsbury using cheaper and smaller packaging, smaller quantities etc and charging more for them THEN having the fucking cheek to give Kweer Charmer 2 million pounds, which he did when Anthony Blair was leader, then getting a government job out of it (“Food Minister”, which was a fucking conflict of interest). No doubt the old p*nce is hoping for history to repeat itself with Kweers Tribute Band. He will only waste the money – he should have given them vouchers so AnalEase and her pals can get soap and Tena-Ladies , Whore Rayner Durex for her numerous boyfriends and Chris Bryant and his friends KY Jelly.

  6. Screwfix have been doing this for years on their website. I can’t imagine your average Screwfix punter being interested, but there must be something in it, maybe a virtue signalling opportunity.
    And another annoyance with self checkouts.
    My local Wilkos has one self checkout with a member of staff policing it and barking out instructions. Why can’t they check out my items?
    The lazy cunts!

    • I won’t use self service tills, hate the fuckin things.

      They put people out of a job.
      And some items need authorisation by a employee- age restricted.

      If you have a kitchen knife, 30 boxes of paracetamol, a copy of Razzle, and vodka that’s my private business.
      I don’t won’t it affirmed by some spotty kid .

      As for charity,
      I regularly put my change in the Spastic society statue of the little girl with calipers on.

      I’m nothing if not generous to the lame and sickly.

      • Likewise 20 tills with only 2 manned,massive queues at the tills,spotty youth employee then tells me I can use the self service this is where I lose it proceed to tell him if we all used them he would be out of job
        Then start shouting about lack of service which to their credit other shoppers start to join in the shouting for service at this particular till,most of the time a manager appears and perhaps one or two announcements for some staff to man the tills
        If this fails when in im a cunt mode,load all shopping onto check out belt and when the till person starts to scan your items I tell the sorry I didn’t realise I had been queuing for 30 mins and have a important a appointment to attend and just walk out…..fuck em I’ve better things to do than queue
        If any fellow cunter has ever been stuck due to some cunt doing this great your all cunts

  7. They’d do better asking you: “is that really a potato you’ve weighed in and not an apple?” Go woke go broke (hopefully!)

    • That could be a new angle. As you scan your groceries, different photographs of starving Jamals and M’brellas could pop up to guilt-trip you into donating.

      ‘You’re purchasing Twinings English Breakfast, would you like to donate 1 pence to Iqbal who is thirsty?’

      ‘No’

  8. McDonald’s have been doing it for years, on those self ordering machines.
    I always go to the counter to order and pay, if I can get near it for the hoards of delivery drivers waiting to pick up their orders, even then there’s a charity box built in the counter.

    • Yep. the customers hand over the cash, McDonalds gets the glory (and quite possibly the tax break.)

      Do I want to contribute to the salary of a CEO who earns more than I ever did? Of course not.

      Why can’t businesses just stick to selling decent products at a reasonable price? You exist to make a profit, not to force your virtue signalling on an unwilling populace, you corporate cunts.

  9. Donkey sanctuary’s only for me and even then I’m wary of scams. The rest of the scrounging bastards can fuck right off.

    “Any spare change mister, I’ve not eaten for 3 days.”

    Well fucking force yourself!

    • You’re lucky you get any English out of them. Round my way it’s ……
      “Please”
      “No English speak”
      “Raaaay-sist”
      That’s all they know….allegedly.

    • Beware mate, My friend worked for a skip company. The donkey sanctuary were always banging on about donating spare holiday change. It just used to get lobbed in the skips, still in the bags. The lads just used to help themselves to it.

  10. Electronically saying no to charity takes all the fun out of looking spongers in the eye and telling them no with a contemptuoimus sneer then holding their eye until they look away.

  11. In town Tesco has just put more self service tills so now there is only three where you can pay by cash. The cunts have made the layout so you queue in everyone’s way. This is done by design so more people give up and use the self service. I fucking hate the way this country is going. It is going to be cashless soon and the cunts in Parliament will soon know which hand you clean your arse yourself with.

  12. David Lammy said don’t give to charity.

    Did you know that he had a friend who died at Grenfel?

  13. Last Sunday I had a bit of a moan in Co-op.

    They have a baked goods bit, posh breads, sausage rolls and cakes and that.
    At the end of the day they have to clear them out as it’s meant to be fresh baked, ie- same day.

    I picked up a big round loaf that had been reduced,
    And a employee said

    “Oh you can’t have that.
    It’s for charity”.

    I told them they can’t reserve marked down goods for anyone,
    If labelled as reduced it’s for any customer who wants it.
    And wouldn’t hand it over.

    A woman from the charity (homeless) said I could have it so as to not cause a argument.
    She had two massive clear binbags full of fuckin baguettes, cakes, rustic Italian bread etc.

    They are giving it to this charity before offering it to paying customers.
    Thing is I’ve never seen a homeless person round here?

    So, say there’s one I’ve not noticed?
    The cunts going to eat two binbags of fuckin bread?!

    Bollocks!

      • Yeah, some fuckin ducks!

        Ducks work and paying for their own food more like.
        Fuckin dossers eating fine olive bread and a red velvet cake for afters.

        I don’t think it’s destined for the homeless (isn’t any here)
        I think it’s for asylum cunts.

      • You’ll like this one Mis. My mate’s missus does some voluntary work for a charity in Brum. Went in the van with a guy taking a load of food from Sainsburys to a bunch of asylum seekers in a hotel. When this free food was offered to the scumbags they asked;

        “Is it halal?”

        “Er….don’t know.”

        “We’re not eating that. Take it away!”

      • Fussy fuckers aren’t they Arfur?

        I’d of said yes.
        It’s Halal.

        Just I’d smeared my cock on it.

  14. My bank account rounds up anything I buy to the next pound and puts the change in a 5% savings account. So I’m donating to myself, charity starts at home. Never put itv3 on at teatime honestly you’ll have fuck all money left after the ad breaks….

  15. Good Morning

    Like Mis I hate those self service tills. Last night in our local Sainsburys. During March they have taken out all the kiosk tills, apart from 2 which aren’t staffed, and replaced them with self-service tills. I had about 10 items and the bloody machine stopped 5 times. You looked around for someone to come and sort it out and there were two women having a natter whilst they were meant to be shelf stacking. No wonder there was fuck all on the shelves. Eventually a lady of uncertain years came over and flashed her card over the wretched thing and got me going. We developed quite a relationship, aided and abetted by a nice woman on the next till who had similar problems. She could swear a bit.

    I see that cunt Andrew Bailey in the Telegraph this morning is blaming his own abject failure to control inflation on people taking early retirement, well he should have been in my local Sainsburys last night.

    Six months ago I was on a delayed EasyJet coming into Gatwick and bought some sandwiches at the M&S to eat on the train coming home, an exorbitant £15,. The machine then asked if I wanted to make a charity donation and I just looked it and said “do fuck off” . The bloke next to me said that was said with feeling.

  16. If you ever get the “You can use the self checkout” bollocks when no cunt is on a till, just say, “I’m not at work at the moment.”

    I feel sorry (well not really) for the staff a bit. These places are usually understaffed, but I always tell myself I’m helping them get more staff by refusing to use the self checkout things.

    Ok they can ‘be’ the checkout cunt, but they can’t chase shoplifters, stack the shelves or take a smoke break outside and gossip about Chantelle’s boyfriend getting sent down for affray, can they?

  17. I work at a bakery and this week they have a promotional campaign in place and the boss has me dressed up as a different type of bread every day.
    It’s so embarrassing, roll on Friday….

  18. A petrol station does this when sticking the old card in, donate yes or no, i always look for the fuck off button. When i donate to any charidee its either DS air ambulance or a dog one. Also yemen can get to fuck too, bloody gemma chan. Sycophantic cunt.

  19. I’ve long regarded most charities as a racket providing a £100+ a yr Islington lifestyle for their senior staff.

    Strictly small, local community charities for me.

    Morning all.

  20. Good cunting.

    Tescunts yesterday evening:

    Total – £10.01. Would you like to round up to the nearest pound for charity?

    No I fucking would not. Half the fucking taxes I pay are spunked up the wall supporting causes I don’t believe in, why the fuck do you think i’m going to pay an extra 10% on shopping thats already overpriced you money grabbing virtue signalling corporate cunts. Stick your guilt tripping charity requests up your arse and fuck off whilst youre doing it you thieving sons of satan.

  22. Wouldn’t have known this if I’d not had the honour of becoming a fully fledged cunt like you lad’s. Will take a nosey at this thieft from under ones nose when doing my next shop. I was against this impudence of being told to work for nothing against my will from the very start. Remember commenting, that I would only do their labour if there was a reduction on the bill. If you are allowed to speak a resounding no, followed by a mouthful of abuse when asked at a these self checkouts, I would surely entertain myself by buying a single item, after I’d done my shop the normal way of keeping someone in a job.

  23. I have a compulsory donation from my taxes, 11 billion pissed down the fucking shitter every year.

    I am not all bad, I do play the Cats lottery, love cats, hate fucking foreign cunts in shitholes 😂
    The latest Water Aid advert must cost a fortune, it seems to run for over a minute with a cartoon soot kid making a rocket to go to Mars (on the TV, water found on Mars).

    I don’t use scan as you go so not come across the round up bollocks, I do buy stuff from Screwfix who are into rounding up to scam builders spare change 😂
    My local CooP sometimes host charity chuggers, using the ‘I will kill you if you speak to me stare’ means they don’t bother me.

    • ANd don’t forget the little darling who has to get water from a hole in the ground…

      They’re called wells, aren’t they?

  24. Don’t forget that these retailers will then boast about how much ‘they’ have donated to charity, not bothering to mention that it’s ‘us’ they got it from.

  25. Imagine if Gary Lineker’s mug popped up asking for money for Commies for Calais?

    I’d fucking smash fuck out of the thing like a madman.

    • In all seriousness, I’d definitely leave my goods at the till and tell the manager that I will not be shopping in his store, until they fucking get rid of the clip of the total bastard.

      Actually, I probably would just smash it up to fuck thinking about it.

  26. Oh it gets better. In my local and just past the self-cunting tills there’s always a chugger. Got any spare change mate; “NO, you fucking retard, I just used the CARD only tills”.

    A quick walk outside and there’s another one, this time for Albanian Dogs, then walk furhter up the street there’s a raggie selling the Big Cunt Issue.

    I can’t get home without being bombarded. Switch Tellybox on and there’s more. It it’s not happy jocko Obi Wan (I mean Ewan McCunt) then it’s fucking Gandalf (I mean (Ian McCunt) trying to raise money for laying clean water pipes in the desert, pictures of fly infested ET lookalikes – switch channel and there’s Joanna Lumcunt looking ab fab sipping a pina colada asking for money for some cunt whose homeless.

    Fuck you all, how’s about I keep the money I work for and look after myself – no one else will look after me!

    • Funniest thing I heard when they started with these self checkout machines was that people were selecting carrots when weighing their fruit and veg because it was the cheapest item. The supermarkets found they were selling more carrots than had ever existed. But they’ve got a fucking cheek to ask for donations when they’ve virtually doubled their food prices. Profiteering cunts.

  27. My boss is a very wealthy self made business man and a very good guy. He’s got three kids, he takes the eldest kids money box to put in the change counting machine in NatWest, over a grand in it. Loads all the coins in, this can take a while. He gets finished, two options now. Print a receipt to take to the counter to deposit into his daughters account or donate to charity. Guess which button he pressed. Rich daft Cunt.

    • Well that’s good, he’s taught them a lesson in fuck all then aint he?. If he feels guilty about what he’s earnt (supposedly fare and square) that’s his shit. Don’t project that on your kids ffs. Why should folk feel guilty about being successful? I’m not successful in monetary terms but every day I’m surrounded by my quite frankly fucking gorgeous family so when I find myself eating aldi beans on toast and can hear the fuckers making a row upstairs I consider myself blessed. They have a decent roof over them, no way should mine ever feel guilty about having more than others, it was blood sweat and tears that established the shit hole they call home.

  28. I was in Boots at Xmas, with a shitload of stuff to bring to the checkout at the self-service point, and as soon as I saw my own ugly mug peering back at me on the screen, I just fucked off and left it there.
    If you’re insinuating that I’m dishonest, you can go fuck yourselves.
    And put that stuff back on the shelves too, bitches.

  29. I’m giving nothing to no one not never.
    I’m sick of begging adverts or the ‘adopt a snow leopard ‘ shite.
    Cons put there to pull on the hear strings of some poor old biddy who will fork out her last 3 quid.
    Fuk of charities,beggars, big issue pikies….fuk off.

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