(Header pic not really related – but Lineker popped into my head after reading “pussy” and “crisps” – Day Admin)
I love crisps (yes, let’s get that corrected from the off). Simply by themselves, or as an accompaniment to a ham sandwich and glass of beer at lunchtime. So many flavours to choose from; salt and vinegar, cheese and onion, pickled onion…
Yes, the flavours are many and various, but hold up, this really is a new one. Pussy flavoured crisps. Yes you did read that correctly. Pussy flavoured crisps;
‘Chips (sic) with a unique taste for brave and free people’ trills the blurb. ‘You will remember your wildest love adventures, your first real love, and may even lose your oral virginity…’ Blimey.
Well you have to wonder about that. I’ll be absolutely forthright and say that I cannot imagine a crisp, no matter how tasty, as being a substitute for the real thing. Neither can I envisage such a crisp as an accompaniment to a sandwich. So thanks, but no thanks.
Still I’ll admit to being intrigued as to just how the manufacturers have managed to create a crisp with a fair approximation of the taste and scent of pussy. The selection process for the flavourings must have been absolutely fascinating.
Oh, and just in case any female cunters (or indeed, those who travel on the other bus) feel discriminated against, let me point out that Chazz Chips also come in cock flavour. All we need now is balloon knot flavour, and everybody’s happy.
Whatever will they think of next?
Nominated by: Ron Knee
Isn’t salt and vinegar already pussy flavored? Or am I only familiar with rank pussy?
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Shouldn’t that be salt and vagina
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https://youtu.be/HaJQq4K-byw
This flavour isn’t difficult to produce, the age old recipe way 9 day old festival knicker gussets, powdered with rock salt, essence of rancid polecat a little of the above link Surstomming, this used to come in a little red sachet that was opened and sprinkled over Scampi, for that unique KittyKat taste, flavour and stench that is very hard to reproduce in the wild.
Pussy crisps are not allowed to be flown on planes, recommend to only be opened outdoors, eg not in your car or any rented property, due to the small amount of Surstomming content.
However great to post through neighbours letterboxes or open and leave behind on buses or trains.
On a side note if you ever find yourself hunting beaver, racoon aka trash panda, s, meercat, Tom cats, lion, honey badger, Russians or Grisly bear, use Walkers pussy crisps, Dorito vaj triangles or KP cunt nuts as bait, they all work well due to the similar recipe,
They are sold at all good fishing bait and hunting shops, on a side note they stop cats shitting on your lawn.
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Chazz and Pussy…
The flavour of choice for Coronation Day parties up and down the land.
If you’re licky, you might find a used sanitary product generously donated by Queen Camillaaah… and old jizz from jug-ears.
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Are scampi and lemon Nik Naks still on sale? They smelt like a bad day at a bad day at gynaecologist’s convention.
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