Attention Seeking ‘Characters’ are Cunts

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There’s this cunt (this time white and English) who has started on the dialysis unit.
And the thing with this old cunt (he’s not actually that old, he just looks it) is he’s a motor mouth pain in the arse who’ll do anything for attention. For a start, he literally ‘squeals’ when the needles go into his arm. Straight up, he screams like a girl and he isn’t ashamed of it. No man should scream when injected with a needle. Of course, he does this to get attention and sympathy.

Then the fucker natters on ‘outgoing’ crap to any staff member who will listen. Not any sort of rapport (and even a grumpy cunt like me has formed a couple of friendships with staff), it’s just endless ‘Aren’t I a chirpy cheeky chappie?’ bullshit. He will say any old crap to get noticed, and -needless to say – a lot of them see him as a ‘character’. When in actual fact he’s a bore and a pain in the arse. Four hours next to him is like having teeth pulled, by the Gestapo.

Then, he also has this extremely annoying habit of ‘yawning’ consecutively. It’s put on, of course. The fucker makes a short yawning sound three or four times. It sounds like the ‘Ah-Ha-Ha-Ha’ part of the Bee Gees’ ‘Stayin Alive’ on slow speed. This twat does this every other minute and he does it very loudly. If I wasn’t wired up to a machine today, I’d have been tempted to deck him. Of course, he also does this to get noticed.

Another thing I heard him say today to a nurse was ‘I do like attention.’
Yeah, I’ve fucking noticed.

I’ll tell you what, I bet Beethoven was glad when he went deaf.

Nominated by Noman

 

64 thoughts on “Attention Seeking ‘Characters’ are Cunts”

  1. Why does this excellent Nomination remind me of ‘Gordon’, the attention-seeking, trolling cunt late of this parish (hopefully for good, this time)?

  2. Don’t worry, Norm, us cynical types see through attention-seeking cunts in an instant. Remember the scene in a Dirty Harry film where the cunt is pretending to be unconscious and Harry starts kicking him, telling him to get up? We get cunts pretending to have a seizure or be unconscious, I just hold their arm above their face and drop it – it miraculously moves so it doesn’t whack them on their nose, then it’s a shoulder tweak and if that fails, which it normally doesn’t, an airway, which usually ‘brings them around’.

  3. Only way it seems to get attention these days with the screen zombies, is to post on tik tok..

    I’m glad to be invisible..

  4. Sadly, ASCD is not confined to the ordinary public.
    It’s also to be found amongst the “famous”.

    Most footballerists and football pundits, for example. Katie Price and her ilk, famous for having tits with their own postcode, just for starters.

    Excellent nom, Norman.

  5. The TikTok / YouTuber attention seeking cnuts who gate crash events for likes, such as serial offender Daniel Jarvis – aka Jarvo 69 – who regularly manages to sneak onto football / rugby / cricket team photos and was behind the (admittedly funny) p0rno noises a few weeks ago on MOTD, or that remainer Steven Bray outside Parliament, should have all their teeth pulled live on TV without the benefit of anaesthetic as a warning to others to stop being pains in the @rse.

    • Bray is one of the world’s biggest wankers, probably second only to HRH Harry, Prince of Thieves. An excellent advertisement for the remoaner cause. I wish him many years of acting the cunt outside Parliament.

      • How right you are FF, Bray is such a mega cunt one would have thought him made an mp by now. Let us hope he is visited by the curse of the ambhaxies (hill tribe in what was Burma) this vile curse causes the testicles of the cursed to migrate to the area of the tonsils. Happened to lots of colonial masters back in the day. Hence “talking with a plum in the mouth or correctly plums”

  7. Right. That’s it. I’m not going to try to cheer Norman up any more when we are on dialysis.

  8. Since he desires attention so much , whilst he’s asleep lift up his bedcovers and empty the contents of several bedpans into his lap.

  9. As a very old fart, I really cannot remember any fuckers in my childhood who had these “things”. I’m sure some clever cunter here can tell me when this was all invented.

  10. Steve Bray has a very serious medical problem: Acute,inoperable, terminal and rapidly metastasising cuntitis.

  11. Marginally off topic , not only do we have individuals who are attention seeking cunts the media are also at it ,witness the headline that popped up as I tournedos on my iPad just now-‘How to beat the salad crisis’.

    • Attention seeking headlines are nothing new.
      The media has been seeking attention since the dawn of the free press.
      For example, the front page headlines for one broadsheet newspaper alone on 03/11/1939 read as follows:

      BRITAIN AT WAR: ULTIMATUM BY FRANCE EXPIRES AT 5p.m.
      GERMANY IGNORES OUR DEMAND
      THE KING TO BROADCAST THIS EVENING
      MORE TOWNS BOMBED IN POLAND

      Sub headlines:

      UNITED NATION
      TITANIC TASK AHEAD
      LABOUR PROMISE OF SUPPORT
      CINEMAS AND THEATRES TO BE CLOSED
      ALL SPORTS GATHERINGS ARE PROHIBITED

    • I don’t think I have ever had a salad crisis, I like a Greek salad and chicken Caesar 👍

      • Get your turnips before the rush!

        No Therese Coffey has said that is what we should do.

        Eat turnips and be happy.

        More turnip Baldrick?

      • I find Norman’s jealousy of this highly popular but very ill man to be contemptuous.

        I’ve had a whip round and raised a considerable amount for him.

        All the doctors and nurses were only to pleased to chip in for their favourite character!!

        And the players of Manchester city Football team.

        A big cheer for MCFC! 👋👋

        Hurrah!

      • Speaking of attention seeking turnips, I see Yvette “sugar-tits” Cooper has been popping up a lot in the media recently, pretending Labour would deal with illegal immigration and such, yeah right.

        Whenever she appears I always think of Captain Magnanimous’s wonderful description of her:

        “The body of an ironing board and a face like a turnip”

        😂

    • Fuckin ell John!!

      Wouldn’t of been so worried if it was the Bible or Torah would they?

      Hope a kid wiped his arse with it.

      • Beyond a joke now. Every time I see “Real” plis, I think that the ones in the Hari o ad look like Special Branch.
        What a load of old SHIT.

    • “This morning, we met with our local Muslim community leaders, local councillors and police to share all the information we currently know, the action taken and the immediate steps we have taken to reinforce the values and behaviour we expect from every member of this school community to ensure that all religions are respected.”

      And I’m sure the same prudence would have been followed if it was a copy of The Bible…

      Placating cunts.

    • Yet another non event allowed to escalate into a ‘major incident ‘; surely the coppers have more serious things to deal with.
      How about telling the ‘offended’ – our country and we play by our rules.

  14. Sounds the sort of cunt that constantly talks about himself. Went out with a woman like that. all she did was talk endlessly about herself and her slut of a daughter, if i tried to change the subject or tell her what i’ve been doing she would make no attempt to listen.

    The only time she would shut up was when her mouth was full 😉

  18. Interviewer: Who’s the biggest cunt* in showbiz?
    Noel Gallagher: Sam Smith.
    Interviewer: Why ?
    NG: Just look at him.

    *I used that term specifically for this site. Good innit?

      • Apparently, it’s on TikTok, if only I knewwtf that was and where to find it.
        I bet if you Google Dylan Mulvaney, tampax, period pains you’ll find it.

        How do I know? I was having a chat with Elder yesterday and she showed it to me.

  20. Sounds like a bit of a cockwomble Norman.

    Perhaps attention-seeking behaviour is a manifestation of narcissism; we see plenty of that in public life and the world of ‘celebrity’ . The aforementioned Bray is a great example, as are the likes of Hazbeen and Migraine, Katie Price, Sam Smith and Madonna. I’d also include that megacunt Tony Bliar. Potentially there’s a very long list.

    Hang in Norman; we’re pulling for you mate!

    Morning all.

    • Hi Ron,
      Besides totally agreeing with you, you reminded me of Lucy Montgomery in “Tittybangbang” with her attention seeking sketch. She was worth scrutinising, besides her breast enlargement scenes.

      My thoughts also for Norman.

  21. If I was there, this attention seeker would be sorry he started it. I’d be waking the cunt up in the middle of the night to ask if he’s alright. Have a crowd round him asking him all the boring questions under the sun. Groups working shifts round the clock to make sure he gets all the attention he needs, until he runs screaming into a cupboard and locks himself away.

  22. An eating disorder is also attention seeking. If only these fat cunts would explode. You couldn’t beat that for drawing attention.

  23. I freely admit to being a attention seeker! I worked as a singer in clubs from 1976-2018 and I still do the occasional appearance. Nothing wrong with wanting attention, that is what life is all about. But it depends on what you have to say – or sing in my case!

    Anyway, this is a fun site! Not those snow flake forums! I’m not a fan of the word cunt but I get it in this context!

      • Oh it doesn’t offend me! No word offends old Maggie! I’ve seen it all, Gene! The lower levels of showbiz are worse than the upper levels! No, I just found this site by accident. I’m not a fighter, I’m a lover, I just hate seeing the way Britain is going and my oldest son is married to a Thai woman, so I don’t mind people coming here as long as they behave themselves. It’s like a bar or club, those who behave and pay their way are okay, but those who start trouble are out the door! Simple philosophy of life that one.

      • Welcome aboard Maggie, I admire the cut of your jib!

        We need more contributors like you. 👍

      • I had a thing for Patrick McGoohan when I was a girl! So sexy, but he was a devout Catholic, whereas I have not walked that path, shall we say!

      • #MeNeither.

        Nor walked the path of any other ‘off the peg’ religion, I’m happy to say.

    • Nothing really wrong with people who want attention, and sometimes it goes with the job (like singing). But in a hospital, where peace and quiet is needed and staff are in demand, it’s bloody annoying. Aside from his other antics, this cunt also natters on to the nurses and takes up their valuable time. One nurse was late taking a patient off his machine on Tuesday. And I heard her say ‘Oh he’s been taking up all my time’. When she said that, she meant this character/gobshite yaddering on. I’ve also noticed that he is only outgoing and chatty with the lady nurses and not the blokes. Dirty old bugger.

      • Hi Norman,
        I had a similar experience from a nuisance patient in the bed next to mine. Fortunately my hospital stay was curtailed due to falsified symptoms for a heart attack, due to being exposed to carbon monoxide and was told I could leave the following day.

        In the beginning the sleeping neighbour was quite and in some kind of semi-coma if there’s such a thing. Then a couple of students entered the ward, asking patients how they were. They woke my neighbour from his slumber to discuss his condition and told him he could go home soon.
        That was the most foolish thing he could’ve been told. From that moment he was asking to leave. He was told a thousand times from then on by nurses and doctors, he couldn’t. “I want to go home” was rattling my ears from that moment on. I was getting angry telling him to shut up. I couldn’t wait for the morning and get the free lift by ambulance, I decided to to take a taxi as soon as possible. When I was ready to leave, I went over to the annoying bastard and whispered in his ear, that I was coming back that night whilst nobody was around and smother him. His eyes opened even wider than earlier. Hope I haven’t given you any ideas Norman.
        Get well soon.

  24. What happened this week was hilarious. One of the nurses said this cunt squealed when she was looking after him. She then told me ‘I said to him what are you screaming for? I haven’t even been near you yet. I haven’t even put the needle in’. Straight up.

    Cunt also did his loud tape loop yawning today. He was on the other side of the ward , but I could still hear the cunt. Him and that P@k! woman with the horrible music and shouty brats on her phone (who was also in today) will drive me round the fucking bend.

  25. I’ve been punctured so many times I’m like a teabag. Then, when I was about to leave the Cardio unit to go home, I was asked how I was going. I said. I was walking to the hospital exit, down the drive to the bus stop, then walk home. They looked shocked. It wasn’t as if I’d been I for surgery, just a few tests, a night in a hospital bed, and breakfast, tea and biscuits, then lunch, more tea and biscuits. Enforced idleness. I was desperate to stretch my legs. Because of the possibility of catching the Lurgy, once we had tested negative for it, we weren’t allowed to stray from cardio dept. Into any “public” areas of the hospital.

  26. Get the nurses to crank up the machine to drain the blood faster than it can clean it.
    He’ll soon calm down.

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