OTT Warning Signs

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Not too far from me is a water treatment centre, which is obviously fenced off and secure from nosy trespassers. Fair enough.

However, I also noticed on the front gate the usual warning signs about keeping out, trespassers will be executed etc. But then there a whole load more additions, including, “Confined Space: may cause distress”, “Danger: beware of trucks”, “Danger: beware uneven surfaces”, “Caution: Trip Hazard”, “Danger: excavations in progress”, “Warning: noise may cause distress” … and on and on it went to the point where I counted 15 notices on one big notice board!

But to cap it all there was a smaller warning notice at the foot of this big sign saying “Warning: this sign has sharp edges”

I suppose I can understand the logic of all these warnings in order to protect the company from litigation, even though sometimes not even these notices will deter trespassers from suing if they ended up injured.

Years ago I was dumb-founded by the classic “Caution: Hot Water” sign affixed near to a hot water tap in a hotel room I was staying at. There was a similar sign by the kettle. And again it bemused me why all this was so necessary given that surely most people must have an ounce of common sense about them.

But clearly not it would seem.

I recall a time back in my youth and laughing at the road sign showing a bloke trying to open an umbrella; or the one with a bloke trying to abduct a child, or another sign with a massive exclamation mark at the centre. I thought we were about to be hit by a hoard of exclamation marks such was my naive mind at the time

But these days it seems anything and everything has some kind of warning sign attached to it. Even a bag of frozen peas probably has a warning to say its not suitable for someone or other.

It’s a sign of the times I guess (see what I did there!)

Nominated by: Technocunt

and seconded by: Geordie Twatt

‘Sign not in use’
‘Caution: Water on road during rain’
‘Speed limit for safety reasons’
All genuine.
I remember a comedy sketch once (possibly on ‘The Two Ronnies’) with a sign reading ‘Do not throw stones at this sign’.

Excellent nomination, hereby seconded.

 

82 thoughts on “OTT Warning Signs”

  1. Quite some years ago a US woman successfully sued a motorhome company because she put the van into overdrive or similar and went back to make a coffee.

    On another occasion a woman put her pet dog into the microwave after bathing it. I think this resulted in warning signs on the microwave.

    Makes you wonder if it was the same woman?
    Stupid wretch.

    • Oh don’t get me started on Vegans Horrible.
      The sanctimonious self righteous miserable unhealthy looking cunts.
      They should carry a warning sign, SORRY FOR BEING A CUNT

  3. I’m sick of all this nanny shite.
    When we were children the swings in the park were surrounded by glass but it was cement under the swings.
    If you fell off….smack.
    We played British bulldog, had games of football with 20 aside and a tennis ball and we made slides on winter.
    Nancy nonsense nowadays.

  4. We have a very simple warning sign at the Villa:

    Trespassers will be short. Survivors will be shot again.

  6. I’ve never listened to advice or paid any note to warning sign in my life.

    I love to trespass,
    Drive at speed
    Run with scissors
    Gain access without being a employee etc.

    Don’t tell me what to do.

    I want to climb a electric pylon for my frisby?
    I will.

    Flooded quarry?
    Where’s my swimming trunks?!

    These things are written by spoilsports and the shy.

    Just ignore them.

  7. A bloke goes to a fancy dress party, naked, with a milk bottle over his cock. The sign reads “Fire Alarm!” In case of emergency, smash the glass, & I will come as quick as I can.

  8. This year I was working at a clients and had to ask if their was any ongoing legal claims. The reply was only one in which a member of staff walked into and fell over the ‘caution wet floor’ sign. I joked that they needed another sign saying ‘watch out for the wet floor sign’. If I fell over a warning sign I would just think it was my fault for not looking properly. But not in this day and age.

  9. Laptops and PCs with “Windows Vista” stickers on the sides of them,

    And yet people still bought the bleedin’ things!

    Mugs

  10. If I saw a sign which read ‘Trespassers will be sodomized and I won’t even spit on my dick’ I don’t think I’d let my curiosity get the better of me.

  12. As a kid I ride my bike to the local yabby pond, ignored the keep-out sign, jumped the fence and went on in.

    Later the owner came by and said “oi you, didn’t you see the sign?”

    Quick as a flash I said “No, I came the other way”

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