Lucy Edwards

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Some will regard me as a cunt for nominating this cunt, who had the misfortune to lose her sight some years ag, but she is an “influencer” (a polite term for ponce who uses their looks and their chutzpah to get free stuff to boost to the skies on the internet, and if they don’t get it will leave bitchy negative comments on their site.

Miss Edwards is the face of a brand of shampoo:

Daily Fail Link.

It is her gurning face and little girl voice that boils my piss, in addition to being so self absorbed and narcissistic. “Being blind” she says in her 10 year old voice, she then goes on to describe the perils of other brands of the same thing (the ones that haven’t paid her to be their “influencer”). It is that irritating voice and the faces she pulls, looking for all the world as if she had just entered the lavatory cubicle that Dame Kweer has just left, with the odour of his expenses lunch and the ointment he has just applied to calm his grapes of wrath at their height, and at their most malodorous (like Kenneth Williams advised in Carry On Spying to “give it a minute”), she barged straight in and her screwed up face shows the young lady failed to take that sage advice.

Lucy, dear, confine yourself to your website and stay off TV. She is a ginger nut with a flabby face as well to make things worse Pantene should hire lovely Lisa Nandy, stripped and under the shower as we see her apply their unction. Widescreen and HD of course.

Nominated by : W.C. Boggs

88 thoughts on “Lucy Edwards”

  1. morning all, never heard of the bint but I have seen the advert, she looks better in the nom picture, instead of putting condioner in her hair I would quietly spaff on her hair and over her tits and face claiming it’s conditioner, morning all

    • Whys this ginger Quasimodo worried about her hair?

      Nobody told her she’s ugly?

      Always left to me isn’t it?!

      Alright,
      dear Lucy

      …. .. . .. ……. …..
      …… ……….. ……!
      “

    • Morning Sid, you naughty man.
      You’re a brave chap, considering getting your tassel close to that.
      She hasn’t even got the sexy kudos of being a đwarf…

  2. Not a cunt in the slightest, Mr Boggs.
    The sight of this beast, this monstrosity, could destroy the most diamond-cutter of boners.
    And an influencer? A cunt and a sponger, I say.
    We deal with ‘influencers’ in my business (classic motorsport) all the time, wankers phoning up wanting free products…”I’ve got 50000 followers”…fuck off, you parasite.
    Not even a desperate, fresh-off-the-RNLI-lifeboat Somalian would shag that.

  3. You’d think advertisers would have learned their lesson after the “Joey Deacon’s Cutthroat Razor” debacle,wouldn’t you ?

    Spaccas don’t sell.

      • That moron is a Real Cunt….most undeservedly privileged bloke on the planet whinging about how hard life is for him.

        He genuinely disgusts me.

      • Once the title from rusty bollocks is removed, bets should be take on what method the dozy twat chooses to leave. Or is that beyond his capacity ?

    • I’m not going to take the piss out her for being blind, one my fears, but I will say she is a morbidly obese scrounger.

      The biggest morons are those who buy the shit she’s plugging.

      Advertising does work, otherwise companies wouldn’t do it, but my experience of it is that it has to be specific and very targeted, otherwise it either won’t work, or, as in this case, for me at least, it will ensure that I definitely will not buy the product because the adverts are annoying, patronising or offensive in some form or other.

      • I’m just sick of the “nancyfication” of everything….”Ooooh,lets show how caring we are”….I expect shampoo to be advertised by some tart in the shower with massive tits slowly massaging the soapy stream through her long dark hair while she purrs ” my boyfriend loves to lather me up”…..she then rolls her eyes,shudders and screams ” Fiddler,you’re a CUNT” while I leer suggestively behind her through the steam in the shower cubicle and rub vigorously.

        Now tell me that wouldn’t sell better than some frumpy Mrs Magoo droning on about fucking split ends.

  4. It looks like that is the real colour of her hair.
    Somebody obviously looks after it for her, but what about her minge?

    She would be hard pushed to find anyone willing to trim or shave her lady garden and ‘being blind’ she wouldn’t be able to do it herself.

    One can only imagine the state of her growler.

    If the shampoo company had to use a ginger then why not Karen Gillan?

    https://www.ecartelera.com/fotos/galeria/alfombra-roja-bafta-2018/karen-gillan-alfombra-roja-bafta-2018/

  5. I couldn’t be arsed to read the link but I think I’ve got the gist of it..

    Once upon a time she got some shampoo in her eyes that made her go blind and in an effort to prevent litigation the manufacturers gave her a job selling the stuff.

    Nowt special.

    • I just clicked the link Tel, and the photo of her, top right, looks distinctly like a young Ricky Gervais doing a bad tranny impression.

  7. The first Mrs Odin’s eyes used to go a bit wonky like that when I stuck a vibrator up her arse.

    Just saying.

  9. in one respect these influencers are no different to old school celebrities advertising products that they don’t really believe in but get paid very well for.

    • Do you remember Techno when Jerry Hall advertised Bovril? Some time later she said words to the effect of; “I wouldn’t put that stuff in my mouth. I use it to black my boots.”

      Priceless.

  10. I have some sympathy for her lack of sight. Not something I would want or wish for others TBH.

    I think my bigger gripe is with fucking social media and the like that allows these people to become ‘influencer’s’ and spout their crap. An even bigger bunch of cunts are those that follow them, and hang on their ever utterance, like they perform some sort of idol worship.

    That said…. I alway find myself influenced by Sir Fddlers and Mr C. Engines posts here. Highly educational.

    • Well, that’s very nice of you to say. I’m consistently grateful that anyone pays attention to my sexist, racist, flid-related nonsense!
      It’s great to have a platform for such ridiculousness and doubtless we’re all grateful for the Admins’ tireless work on this site’s behalf. 👏

    • Well, that’s very nice of you to say. I’m consistently grateful that anyone pays attention to my sexist, racıst, flıd-related nonsense!
      It’s great to have a platform for such ridiculousness and doubtless we’re all grateful for the Admins’ tireless work on this site’s behalf. 👏

  11. I Don’t mind her carrying out a Blind ‘Taste the Jiz Test’
    as long as she takes it from the Bottle

    You lot can have any Leftovers

  13. Know your market Lucy.

    You should be selling labradors.

    Or black up and play the piano.

  15. I like ginger birds but this one isn’t in the same league as Open Legs Angie. Now that’s a classy bit of crumpet. 👅

    • It snowing down south?

      Belting down here! ☃️⛄

      Very Christmasy.🌲

      I’m meant to be driving to Macc to tip a leather sofa,
      But probably just flytip it and go play snowballs with the dog..

      • Alas, no MNC. I’m in Wiltshire.
        I hope it snows like fuck on Sunday night ready for going to work Mon morning. I fucking love driving in difficult conditions! No wimmin or pussy men on the road.

      • No snow in Stabistan but it’s minus 2 and it’s expected later. Keeps the w*gs and bummers off the streets.

      • We had a dusting of snow up here in the Lakes and quickly turned to ice. As a consequence the roads are very hazardous but at least it keeps all the tourists indoors and out of harm’s way.

  16. Good to see the site has settled down today, it was like a warzone last night.
    Admin stepping in too!

    • Ah, you can’t beat a good row, Infidel. About time someone got up Dick Fiddler’s nose so he can deliver a few nuclear-tipped slavoes! Last one he had was with Vernon Fox, I think.

      Comedy gold.

      • Shit. I missed all the fun.

        what happened? Did some get offered out behind some bikesheds by a micropenis who won’t back down?

      • All Dick asked was for Vernon to back up his claims. Vernon went to DEFCON 1. You missed a treat, especially when Dick told him he wouldn’t be shedding a tear if he left, but in Dick’s own inimitable style!!

        I do miss Vern, though. At least you could have a discussion with him without him offering you out behind the bike sheds.

        Somewhere in Worcestershire.

  17. Woman- tick
    Young woman- tick
    Ginger- tick
    Disability-tick
    Fuck all talent-tick

    It’s not hard to realise why she got the gig

    If she was a lesbian who referrs to itself as ‘HE’ then fuck me advertisers would be throwing money at her like a closing down sale a Spearmint Rhino!

    • My nephew genuinely believes that Stevie Wonder is not blind and he is just faking it to get sympathy.

      My nephew is on drugs though. And unemployed. And unemployable.

      • I heard years ago that Wonder was ’20/20′, and that the totally blind thing was a myth. Don’t know how true that is, or if it’s true at all….

      • A yank mate in NYC said him and his bro went to see Little Stevie at the Shay stadium (they only went because the bat mobile was on show) Little Stevie managed to dance off the side of the stage end of the gig. Think he probably is blind.

    • And it looks like Megain Mantis Cuntess of Sussex is going the same way, the fat cunt.

      They just loves their chiggen……

  19. Looks like Emperor Palpatine dressed as Rita Hayworth….
    Absolutely ghastly, especially on a snowy northern morning.☹❄🤔

  20. As a kid I remember that not blind people but quite a lot of disabled people were massive cunts. They would use their disabilities as an excuse to act like cunts or be rude. They always seem to judge others and act like cunts to others. I’ve noticed this as an adult too. Maybe its because they’re hyper aware that they are spazzers so they are constantly angry at the world?

  21. Sad news, I have just found out from the BBC that Fat Reg has quit Twitter ‘due to misinformation’.
    I trust that all of us who in IsAC will forget our woes and spare a thought for Elton in this dark period of his life. Perhaps those of us who use Twitter could send him messages of support.
    Er…, I may not have thunk this one through properly.

      • A few good tunes, but I reckon he’s a bum-boy.

        Always hanging around with strange blokes.

        Naah, definite question mark there.

    • Fat Reginald will be back on Twatter before we know it. Remember when that other fat talentless mardarsed ginger fanny, Ed Sheercunt stormed of Twatter ‘for good’ after he threw a vast kiddies tantrum, because loads of people rightfully said that he was fucking shite in Game of Thrones? Well, that didn’t last. These self serving media whores can’t stay off social media for long. And Sir Fat Reg will be no exception…😉

      • I hope he tries and Elon musk blocks him😁

        Fuck off Reg, you fuckin ivory twinkling, sequin wearing, old bore.

        Go brown nose the Hewitt’s.

    • I suppose he is too busy looking at pretty boys in shorts and big builders with Prince Albert’s on Pornhub.

  22. Weather report here in north Manchester.
    The snow is falling now, just enough to cover the old prams, Tesco trolleys and dead dogs.
    Beautiful

    • You can keep that white shit up there. Don’t need it down South……..us softy southerners don’t like it. I paid a fortune for my gaff down here for the mild mediterranean climate you know.

  23. I’d pretend to be from L’Oréal and ask her to show off some new foundation cream as her role as an influencer.
    Instead I’d give her a can of black kiwi boot polish and giggle like a fucking school kid as the stupid cunt applies said boot polish to her Chevy Chase and ends up looking like a cheesy 1950’s minstrel.
    Cunt.

  24. Been out with the dog. Thick ice but a slight thaw here in N Lincs. No bother to me, I’m as hard as fuck. Like a Worcestershire nomates.

  25. Saturday morning challenging wank. I still struggle to see the concept of a ‘influencer’ and why companies would pay someone to review their products. The real cunts are the ones that follow them.

  26. Sheesh … that’s an influencer? I’d not like to meet the kind of people that she might be able to influence. Social media … got a lot to answer for.

  27. This fucker apparently is going on a safari, I wonder what the point is, unless she likes the sounds and smells of a knackered land rover that’s been maintained by the local baboons.

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