Card Cloning Thieves

Posted on by

Here I am sat enjoying my Sunday afternoon and I thought I’d have a quick look at my online banking. Some utter cunt has had it away with £1686.42.

What’s odd about this is the first transaction was for SAGA £76.84 the rest was made up of 45 transactions to Hobbycraft. The cunt had sat there for about 9 hours skanking money in £5, £10, £20 £35 and £40 amounts.

I have to say my bank, Barclays, were absolutely brilliant in dealing with it, within 24 hours or so every penny was refunded.

The chances of catching the cunt that did this is virtually nil, the bank is unlikely to investigate further. To be honest I thought the SAGA payment would be easy to trace, the cunts only flog insurance and holidays I reckon.

Todays lesson is not to have too much sat in your current account, which I’ve already addressed. Scum bags, I’d publicly flog them before rubbing lemon juice in the flayed flesh, all this is prior to letting a pack of hound on the cunts.

I know banks get a cunting from time to time, but on this occasion I have nothing but praise for the way I was treated.

Nominated by: Bertram Cuntatious DCO

And seconded by: Norman

Superb cunting, Bertram, and seconded by me.

I was once screwed by one of these cunts a few years ago in 2012, and I have refused to do online banking ever since. Even now, I still do it the ‘old way’. People always tell me ‘But… But… It’s the way it’s done now and you need an online account’.

No, I fucking don’t. Yeah, it’s convenient, but it can slso be a pain in the arse. When my brother in law made more than one payment from his online account, his cunt of a bank actually stopped his account, thinking he was a fraud. Yet, it was his account and his fucking money.

58 thoughts on “Card Cloning Thieves”

  1. No Bertie, the lesson is not don’t have too much sat in your current account.
    The lesson is don’t bank online, as Norman says.

  2. A Faraday Wallet should prevent that kind of thing. But don’t get a cheap and nasty one. Expect to pay around £15+ for a really good one.

    Card cloning readers only cost about £30 from the usual auction sites. You may also need to buy an app to read the magnetic strip or the built-in chip on the card.

    Prices for these things have dropped considerably now that everyone is being pushed into a cashless society and cards are used everywhere.

    • How safe is a virtual wallet in your phone/watch if you don’t physically carry cards? I’d imagine this is pretty fool proof?

  4. This happened to me last year and I also got my money back from the Bank. The withdrawals made on my account told me all I needed to know about the perpetrators – nearly every one was for Pizza Hut, Dominoes and KFC.

  5. Not to worry sometime in the near future us evil honkys will have our bank accounts drained by the government, to pay back all the repression our rich privileged ancestors dished out to poor minorities.

  7. I’m keen budding sleuth self taught by watching countless episodes of Colombo and even going as far as watching mcCloud and McMillan and wife.

    This theft I at first suspected Baroness Mone of,
    But after looking at the evidence I realised that Kirsty Allsop was more likely.

    Hobbicraft is like the dark web, lots of cloned card transactions and nefarious badly made Christmas crafts.

    That’s your suspect.
    K. Allsop.
    Meadowgate
    Somewhere posh.

    • You don’t dress up like Miss Marple do you, MNC?
      All tweed and frigid old canvas bloomers.

      • Occasionally Tommy occasionally.

        I hobble about like a heavily bearded Margaret Rutherford hoping some feral youth tries to mug me,
        Then give him a severe thrashing leaving him with lots of stitches and a keen fear of the elderly.
        😄

    • I reckon the SAGA payment was Judith Chalmers, she has turned to pensioner fraud since Wish You Were Here….? was axed.

      Terry Waite is a guest celebrity on a cruise on the Rhine next year, I wondered if they asked him “Do you want a cabin or chained to the radiator in the engine room?”.

  8. I had the ‘Contactless Payment’ removed from my card, after Lady Scunthorpe had money, taken in small amounts from her account. That was when it was £30 max. Now I think it’s £100. She keeps the card in a special alumunium holder now, but you still need to be carful when removing it at pay points. Cunts can lie in wait, ready to remotely read your card. Halifax were on the balk, as they actually spotted it first, & repaid all the money back, but it was a leson learnt.

  9. I am hoping someone can enlighten me, but a few years ago whilst walking the dog, I took a call from my bank (it was deffo my bank as I had their number already so I told them I would ring them back for security reasons) and they went through several recent transactions on my card….most I could confirm, but then there were three or four for highish, but not ridiculous amounts to Hobby craft, as per the nom. What is it with hobby craft??

      • It’s a crime syndicate started up by godfather Tony Hart.

        Rolf Harris lives in luxury in prison because of this.

        Hobbycraft?- arty Mafia.

        Mess with them and you’ll wake up with a beautifully rendered picture of a horse’s head in your bed.

    • Before the war in Ukraine it was half of the Ukraine scooping all the banks. Now those people are immortalized, and are are throwing rocks back at Vlad the scamming is a bit quiet but on their break from Sniping or begging to the USA or NATO they get back online and get back to it for some Xmas extras.

      • Fuck Ukraine.

        The scammers are legion. I bet they even cross paths in their work there are so many?
        “Hello? Wait. Is that you Hakim?! How’s the wives and kids? Business still good?”

        Cunts.

  10. Fucking banks. They make life as difficult as possible to force you onto on line banking. You used to be able to pay a credit card on the phone but now they put you through a fucking robot and then keep you hanging on with the Muzak interrupted now and again to tell you how great on line banking is.
    Try phoning the branch and no cunt will pick up the phone. On line banking means they can close more branches and sack more people. Fuck what the customer wants.
    Cunts.

    • I hate people. And robots, especially chatbots that have no fucking clue what you are talking about. Online banking suits me just fine.

  12. This happened to me. It kept happening so I only shopped in three places using the card: a Tesco, a Waitrose and a petrol station. There were brown people working in the petrol station. Brown south-east asians.

  13. Had a row with my bank last week over the use of one of those card reader things that look like a calculator.

    I pay my credit card off every week and have done for the last 20 years. Online and with no bother. 4 stages of memorised codes and numbers that no fucker can crack, because they only exist in my head.

    Not on this occasion though, oh no. This time I need to use the card reader for some reason.

    Watch the cunt behind the counter panic when you tell them you want to close all accounts this instant and have all balances presented in cash by close of business.

    Apparently they don’t carry that much cash in branch and the offer of involving the police to arrest the branch manager for fraud if it doesn’t materialise got the correct reaction. ‘Would you like us to arrange payment for you’.

    Which was the correct answer.

    How fucking difficult was that?

    Cunts!

  15. Breaking News!!***

    Government has deported 42 Albanians.
    The Home Office has announced.

    Only a few million to go….

    • Half of them had convictions for serious crimes, fuck knows why they make an announcement about 42, must be something to do with the answer to the ultimate question 😂

      I suggested they pack all the Albanians into containers and ship them back on the slow boat to Durres.

  16. I took all me loot out of the graspers in one fell swoop in a rebellion at the cunts hosing down Twat and Dick with copious amounts of money and before that various other well off “stars” who would never induce anyone with a brain to open an account.
    Fucking old minge behind counter was incredulous that I was going to blow it on whores drugs and investing in gun running.
    Much like medical profession banks got no sense humour. Unfortunately had to put it back in another institution when they changed bank notes.

    • Serious question:

      Did they actually ask you what you were going to do with your own money?

      I heard that if you withdraw more than a few grand, the bank notifies the police.

      • Yes they did, asked me where I was going to keep it, under the bed I told her, that’s not wise I was informed, I said try and take it off me and I’d batter you with a spade or set my rottweiler and Doberman on you or if really feeling nasty my Jack Russell.
        Biggest problem with financial institutions is they forget whose money it is.

  17. I was at a petrol station one night watching this fuzzy haired gentleman in a 4×4 with a laptop. The next thing three police cars descended on him and dragged the cunt out in handcuffs.
    Apparently he was watching people go up to the cash machine and getting their pin numbers through a hidden camera

    • Always best to use a cashmachine inside the bank, assuming you can find one that is open, and staffed by bank employees and not a smelly tramp sleeping off a drunk, alongside two Albanian beggars. Oh, wait!

  18. Some people make a good living out of scamming people with online banking fraud Should be hung from the nearest lamp post
    Merry Christmas fellow cunters I’ve not been on here for a few months due to a bike accident stay safe and don’t drink too much regards George 👍👍👍👍

  20. And how is this for bare faced (one sided) cheek! Every time any cunt rings me, they always ask, if I can prove who I am. I once asked a Lloyids T.S.B. member, who rang me, to answer some security questions. His D.O.B. His fathers maiden name, & where he kept his first pet kangaroo. He hung up.

  21. Scum. I’d bet the same amount you lost the the thief was Albanian, Indian or Romanian.

    “You’re a racist saying that. All those thuggish looking men coming over in dinghys are to help build Britain”.

  22. And beware the P@k!s latest trick. Instead of the ‘But But’ Char Wallah type voice, they now have a posh woman’s voice claiming to be ‘bank security’. Hang it up without question.

Comments are closed.