Tesco (6) and Digital Discrimination

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A bloke goes into a Tesco store to buy a sarnie with cash, only to find that there’s no checkouts with humans anymore. Instead he has to use a self-serve checkout that uses cameras and weight-sensors to work out what items the customer wants to buy.

These self-serve things have been around for years, but now Tesco has gone one stage further by insisting that customers can only buy their items not only by signing up to their loyalty card, but also to download their data-intrusive app to your phones and pay electronically.

Tesco is trialling these new cashless stores – calling them “GetGo” – for people who don’t have time or inclination to pay with cash. In other words its probably aimed at the smartphone generation who don’t care about what personal information is being farmed whenever they use the loyalty cards or the Tesco app via their phones.

Critics also feel that this is going to be the “dystopian” future with all supermarkets and retailers shedding hundreds of their staff in favour of self-serve checkouts. At the same time valuable personal information from their customers will be used and probably sold to third parties so that the shopper will be assailed with spam and cold callers.

Returning to the bloke who couldn’t buy a sarnie the old fashioned way, Tesco responded in a rather aloof way, more or less implying that if he doesn’t like it he can fuck off elsewhere. Quote:-

“We want everyone to feel welcome in our stores and we’re really sorry to hear that Mr Rowson was not happy with his experience at our GetGo store in Holborn, central London. This store trial uses technology to offer a checkout-free experience, giving customers the opportunity to shop and pay without scanning a product or using a physical checkout. This saves time for those who want to pop in to pick up something for lunch or grab dinner on their way home.”

This is all very well, but technology quite often fails, especially during power outages (which could be on the way come winter). And then what? How do you pay without power?

If anyone has seen Tom Cruise’s 2002 sci-fi film “Minority Report” you’ll recall that pedestrians/drivers were being constantly monitored and tracked via CCTV and shoppers electronically data-farmed by what they were buying, how much and where from.

20 years on and here we are…

Telegraph News Link

Nominated by: Technocunt

116 thoughts on “Tesco (6) and Digital Discrimination”

    • A “pesto pasta pot” would be fucking safe from my attentions even if they were handing them out free.

      • About 20 years ago this tart I knew kept going on about pesto and how I should try it. Just add it to some spaghetti she said. You’ll be amazed she said.

        It was singularly the most uninspiring experience of my entire life, even more so than that copy of Readers’ Wives I bought in a hurried and blind panic as a randy young man.

        I think I ended up spaffing over the pics for the phone sex ads, rather than any of the ‘models’ within.

      • I bought a pot once to see what it tasted like, that was five years ago. I cleared out the cupboards and it’s still unopened, straight in the bin.

      • Aye,CB….I’ve tried it…not for me. I once tried a spaghetti dish that only seemed to have some oil and a few little bits of chilli in it..it was surprisingly good.

    • it’s a power fucking cut you cunt.

      POWERCUT we are not fucking fuktard yanks

      (We don’t cunt cunters on here! Day Admin)

  2. The ruling class of narcissistic control freaks know that times are a changing .

    They have a need to ring in more seedy and sneaky ways to have control.
    More people are finally seeing through this pap.

    What we have here is a race.
    In lane one – humanity
    In lane two- crazy greedy God knows what these entities are.

    Protect your children and your elders because we have evil at our doorstep.

    God bless

    • Indeed.
      “Unide tidied object in bagging area.”
      “GetGo” ??
      Get to fuck.
      I don’t mind card only, but I hate apps. Anyway, with a heart op due, I have tried to download their app, to do some post-op home deli eey shopping. Still haven’t got it downloaded, and their customer service is b. useless.

      • HBH.
        That’s one thing children are useful for. They’re demons at downloading apps, setting up a favourites list, inputting card details for payment, etc.
        I can do an entire weekly shop, delivered, in about 6 “clicks”.

      • @JP. Piece of piss. They pump you full of lovely drugs and if you say ‘ Oooh ! I can feel it ! ‘ They’ll pump some more in.
        You can even watch the progress on a monitor.
        Ask them if you can have some music too.
        I would recommend ‘ Kashmir ‘ by Zeppelin.
        I was as high as a fucking kite.
        It was fucking ace 👍
        Enjoy !

      • @HBH. Best wishes 👍
        Let us know when you’re patched up and released back into the wild. 😀
        Capital.

      • Best of British with the heart op. Cardiovascular surgeons are shit-hot. I watch them insert stents, now and again. Fucking amazing and they act like it’s nothing. Which, I suppose to them, it is.

      • HBH –
        My very best to you for a successful procedure and a speedy recovery. Please let us all know how you’re getting on.
        Cheers – IY.

      • @HBH & JP. Add my best wishes to both of you. I’m sure all will go well. If you’re being kept in overnight or longer make sure you take plenty to read, an MP3 (or similar device) with headphones and charging cable / plenty batteries plus something like menthol tissues to cover your nose. Nowt worse than the sound & smell of some poor bedridden bugger in the beds nearby having to use the bed pans.

      • Thanks Mr Fiddler. No idea WHEN it is yet, what with blood shortages/power cuts and whatever crapola turns up… At least, I have a hospital ref. no, so am on their radar.

      • HBH, JP, as Jack says stents are a piece of piss. I had half a dozen fitted in one go in 2016. Best of luck but I doubt you will need it!

  4. I have always been perfectly happy with my own company.
    It’s just as well because very few people like me anyway.

    Other people are not so fortunate.
    They go out of their way to make and keep friends.
    They join clubs and societies because they don’t want to be lonely.

    Being in a city can be one of the most depressing things.
    Surrounded by people but still anonymous.
    I lived in London for many years.
    Millions of people and I didn’t even know my neighbour’s names.

    I saw an advert on UK television very recently.
    They were on the scrounge for a monthly donation so that an old person would get a weekly phone call to combat loneliness.

    I suppose that for many people just some sort of human contact is vital.

    Anonymous and sterile shopping may be fine for the younger generation but I am sure that the older people would find it extremely depressing.

    Tescos may feel that they are moving with the times but a few well trained staff who can interact with a smile and a few words is what is required.

    Or maybe the drive to improve people’s mental well-being is no longer important.

    • Imagine going to live somewhere, even if someone told you their name, it’d be impossible for you to pronounce as it’s a 3rd world country and their name is spelled with nothing but consonants and vowels are dirty things.
      Yes, I pity those poor darkıes…imagine being an asylum seeker and having to live in Wales.

    • Same problem, I prefer my own company & hate every other fucker on the planet, My own fault I couldn’t keep my legs together when I was young so now I have a huge family that will insist on fucking visiting me all the time and giving me shitty cards and sticking their kids god awful paintings on my fridge.

  5. Tescunts. That’s what I call them. Should be employing people not spanking fuck loads on tech that makes staff obsolete.

  6. There should always be a choice. And they’ve decided the choice is to go with their tech or to fuck off. Nice.
    Wait until they’ve linked their accounts to your account on isac and you’ll be going hungry!

    • I won’t be flying or using a train either after i’ve kicked a chinaman up his alley and queered my communist credit score, they can all get to fuck

  7. I like the human touch.
    Fuck robots and technology.

    I like to chat to the checkout girl.

    Boyfriend? No?!!!
    Nice looking girl like you?!
    Shame that.
    You like it up on the Moors?
    You ever been in the back of a van?
    I’ve a mattress in mine.
    Calm down.
    Only chatting!
    No need for security you sour faced bitch.
    No wonder your on the shelf…”

  8. No power no tills full stop, doesn’t matter if it’s manned or not. I don’t use self check out thanks. I will happily steal from you cunts.

    • They will have staff.

      Some will be in a back room watching you on CCTV.
      Others will be needed to restock shelves.
      Probably a cleaner on standby too, just in case somebody drops or spills something.
      And a supervisor overlooking the whole shit show.

      It’s just not trendy enough to have these people on the shop floor interacting with customers.

    • Tossco’s front doors are electric so you won’t get in the fucking place to steal anything, see if your neighbours backdoor is open.

  9. The great re set is coming folks.They want to remove cash in 5 years time.I despair.All total bollocks.Big brother is watching.

  10. Track an Trace, where did I hear that one from before.
    The data storage centers are going to go into meltdown at some point in the future when a 12 year old geek genius decides he wants to play Tron.
    And I’ll be getting spam from Calcutta for secondhand 2 stroke scooters.

    • LOL, you’re dead right its all going to shit and i’m still laughing at the 2 stroke scooter joke

  11. Self service, cash machines, etc
    Putting people out of work.
    Refused to use them for years.

    Some tart in the bank,
    Just paying in?
    Use the machine!
    Told her I don’t approve of them,
    She looked at me like I was a fuckin nutter.
    Well,
    It’s gone from about 15 staff members to 4.
    And she’s not one of them.
    Replaced by a machine.
    The stupid mare .

  12. They might have till-free stores, but they will never have staff free stores.
    The shelves don’t stock their selves, and there’ll always be a need for a pencil-necked, spotty arse hole, in a cheap suit with a badge identifying him as “James, Store Manager”

  13. Seeing there was no fucking staff, the chap could have eaten the butty whilst pretending to look for other stuff and walked out. I’ve never used the self checkout since it started. I’m not doing their job for them, unless there’s a reduction on the bill. The crude yankiefide grammar of getgo means “from the start”. Get fucked more like it. No need to worry, there will always be an old fashioned store for what you want.

  14. I have a system for companies such as these cunts.
    It’s called ‘ Get To Fuck, Go ‘
    Good evening.

  15. Unmanned checkouts are cunt, and no argument there.
    Do I worry that someone somewhere knows I buy cat food and rum? Nope.
    I’m sure some would find that lack of interest in ‘surveillance society’ appalling.
    Chill out, life is way too short.
    Beep.😁

      • It’s a top notch pie filling. It’s because of cunts like me, pet food has to be fit for human consumption.😂

      • Petfoods gone woke GJ.
        The petshop I use we’re friends with.
        And my dog gets the new product samples to test.

        Yak butter!
        Ice cream for dogs.
        Ostrich jerky.
        Cupcakes for dogs.
        Bison jerky.

        All kinds of shite.

      • You would think anything that tasted better that a dirty arse would suffice, but no.
        Pets are brand aware, I’m fucking sure of it!

      • My fucking cat is, for sure.
        Sheba Fine Flakes, poultry flavour in jelly, or I’ll kill you!
        Little arsehole ( well, not so little).

      • Pakis coming here in the 60s was the reason the law made pet food companies put TO BE CONSUMED BY ANIMALS ONLY on the tins, not that Pakis can read but they thought it was actual tinned cat to make a curry with…fancy a tabby ruby tonight

  16. Tesco could have naked cyborg clones of Kelly Brook staffing their shops and they can still fuck off.

    I think..

    • Whatever happened to those sit-on toys outside shops, put 10p in, and it rocks back and forth? I’d be up for a Penny Mordaunt one.

      • When my daughter was about 6 she always asked for 10p to go on the rides outside the co-op, one day she got her 10p run a head and when i got to her she was sitting in a red invalid carriage behind the plastic hood…fucking laugh the tears ran down my legs

      • Stick to one of those punch bag arcade machines and try to beat the Worcestershire Warriors high score.

      • My local Tesco regularly has chuggers outside but these cheeky fuckers don’t want cash they want your bank details

        I’ve come to get milk not have a half hour conversation with some Arsehole while the milk goes off

  17. The mindless sheep otherwise known as the smartphone/social media generation are the movers and shakers promoting and extolling the virtues of this bullshit.

    They haven’t yet reached a level of maturity, responsibility or self awareness to see how controlling and divisive this is. I’m not convinced they ever will. Even if they do, it will be too late.

    Society these days is fractured, divided, hostile, aloof, aggressive, irresponsible, inconsiderate, dismissive…the list goes on. The likes of us who knew a time when that wasn’t the case are slowly disappearing.

    The elites are designing a dystopian future and the smartphone/social media generation are implementing it. Useful idiots, but idiots nonetheless.

    We are all fucked.

    • i’m with the grass hut builders on this one, no money required they fill up a trolley with shit and just walk out, me no speaky englishy…works everytime

  18. The Tesco’s self checkout in my town have been half debit card only and half cash , way before the cough.
    I use em occasionally cause I only ever have a few items and if a checkout girl (person) is busy on the till with mountains of shit that some lazy cunt is too slow and deliberately so, well I’ll be fucked if I’m going to endure that tired charmless cunt that will never make eye contact and that trolley of scutter to be bagged and of course the coupons that are invalid 🤬
    Cash, out of these places, as quick as fuck, before I require some sort of medical assistance.

    • they’ll have to wait until us old cunts have fallen off the twig cos i don’t do apps and i’m not have no mark of the beast injected in my hand, head, arse or anywhere else, luckily shoplifting is still free so they can get to fuck

  20. Costs cunts jobs.

    I hear the old “But they’re shitty jobs anyway. Fuck them if that’s all they can amount to.”

    Perhaps. But where do these cunts go then?

    The fucking dole and more tax to pay for it all.

    And after a day at work, the last thing you need is to be doing some cunt’s job for free.

    Like others say, I’ll perhaps do it myself from time to time if you knock 10% off my bill.

    They can get fucked if they think I’m doing their fucking job for free, just so some Tesco exec can buy a new Ferrari.

    Get to fuck!

    • very true, at least these supermarkets do a good job keeping all the spazos under control, without tesco employing the fucking mongos they’d be roaming the streets asking strangers fucking stupid questions. i never smile at them or make eye contact or they’re all over you, wanting to sit next to you and talk shit.

  21. The sinister requirement for the App, I have cash, I have a credit card, I have a debit card, I even have a club card, why on Earth do I need an App.

    This App bullshit is talking over, LNER offering a £5 bonus, I have an account with LNER but for some reason I can’t use the £5 and subsequent loyalty bonuses against future purchases of tickets unless I have the App….. why

    There needs to be a campaign ‘Fuck the Apps’

    • never used one, still struggling to answer my smart phone, press here, swipe there, oops reply button cuts it off…i’ll get it sussed the day before i die

      • A friend just LOVES apps. And he’s ALWAYS telling Siri “Ooh, Siri do this, Siri do that.”
        Siri often doesn’t understand.
        Maybe he needs to download the Bona Polari App Translator, the gay vicar.

  22. I couldn’t give a toss what companies know about me as it won’t help them any. If I want something (and can afford it) I will likely buy it. Emails, texts, phone calls offering me shit don’t get a look in. I’ve taken to adding stuff I want, on websites where I have an account, to the basket and leaving the site. I almost always get an email the following day offering a discount.

    • Actually you’re right about that, I’ve done same, abandoned cart (fucking American cunt term for basket) and ding dong email comes through with a discount offer, mind you i still haven’t purchased the high speed lilac with glitter singing dildo I’m still undecided, just looking.

  23. The auto checkouts in Tesco drive me mad continually flashing up messages accusing me of removing things from my bag and telling me to wait for a member of staff. I’d rather spend more money in Waitrose than spend an hour trying to negotiate their automatic checkouts just to buy my weekly box of Alpen and my wife’s tampons. You can’t beat a human at the checkout till.

  24. Must admit to being a miserable old cunt & refusing to use self serve tills, been know to leave trollies of food in the aisles and just walk off moaning if the queue is too long, no patience anymore, got ushered into a self service cattle pen during the great flu and scanned same thing a dozen times and left it on the desk, walked off. serve me and provide me with a chair while you pack my bag for me or fuck off. Daughter visits says OH FOR FUCKS SAKE MOTHER WHY CAN’T YOU BE NORMAL when ive been shopping but my cupboards are still empty. I only do it so the grandkids can’t eat all my biscuits greedy little fuckers.

      • Garibaldi, been telling them from birth they are dead flies, dirty, nasty, leave it…it worked, it put them right off they still won’t touch them.
        Ginger biscuits are good for repelling kids too, they fucking hate ginger for some reason.

  25. Admin will probs delete this post as its not cunty enough but I just want to say that this is one of the most enjoyable cuntings in my brief (yet most enjoyable) cunting tour of duty. Hats off to you lads and lasses, this is beyond cathartic, I’d have a beer with any one of you.

      • I’ll drive…I’m a brilliant driver when I’m pissed as a fart…ramblers and pushbikers flying over hedges and fences as Hound and I bellow abuse out of the windows..we’ve even been known to disappear through the odd hedge and fence ourselves while in hot pursuit of The Unspeakables.

  26. The shopping experience……. why do cunts randomly move stuff around the shop? Cash or no cash, why was there a child’s dinosaur suit and a cushion amongst the stacks of coke??

  27. Whatever happened to those sit-on toys outside shops, put 10p in, and it rocks back and forth? I’d be up for a Penny Mordaunt one.

    • I’d like to do some role play, as a sit on toy.
      I’d recline on a leather upholstered medical table and have Liz Truss brought in, dressed in a rubber cat suit with cutouts for tits and cunt.
      She could sit and wriggle for as long as she liked.💪💪💪
      But that’s just me…….. 😀

  28. i do use self service and pay with card about half the time, . but the minute they start to refuse cash is the minute they get no more buisiness from me. was in glasgow and mrs mcfuck always buys a box of donuts for herself and our youngest, last time i went to pay was told sorry no cash we are card only now. my reply was “better put your donuts back then”

    • I love shops that now try to only take card payments but, for some fucking stupid reason, have a minimum spend of £5. Our local shop tried that on the basis that people would buy more to go over the fiver, then realised that if people weren’t going to spend a fiver they didn’t come in at all. Lasted a week I believe.

  29. Years ago when an item was wrongly priced, you would take it to Services, get the money back and keep the item. I did that umpteen times on a tasty wine, until it was corrected. That was at a dozy Safeway. Remember them ?

  30. I don’t shop at Tesco’s.
    It’s common.

    I prefer a artisans market, where I can buy a organic loaf for £8.
    Must be good at that price?!

    Or a scabby parsnip of a man with a top knot.

    You can buy olives ,
    Cheese, honey, and still get change out of £100.

    Still got to go Farm Foods for my turkey twizzlers or chicken nuggets though.

    Although I’m patronising and condescending in there so they know I’m a cut above them.

    • Who the fuck eats olives? I’m older than the Queen’s dead minge & a complete olive free zone. Fucking foreign shit like quorn, avocados and humus, only cunts eat that weird yuppy shit.

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