Men Who Wear Shorts on the Streets

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I’m sick of seeing blokes wearing shorts in urban settings. It’s fucking October. More to the point, you aren’t on the beach or at the gym, so get a pair of jeans on, you slob.

This seems to be a new fashion/lifestyle choice – the slob look/lifestyle. Men should never show their legs in public, makes you look like a right bellend, not a good look, but it has crept into society in the past few years along with the many other bad choices of young folk. And it’s not those knee-length shorts, it’s those barely-covering-the-scrotum jobs that late-1970s footballers wore – short-shorts.

Men’s fashion, basic style has became bad, bad, bad this century. It’s all those gay fashion designers who pushed that with the skinny jeans, hipster beard, bouffant hairdos. But shorts are never a good look, that’s why you are keen to get out of them after the gym or football match.

We live in Britain not Brazil, for fuck’s sake.

Nominated by: Le Cunt

111 thoughts on “Men Who Wear Shorts on the Streets”

  1. My postman (when he is not on strike that is) is still wearing shorts. He looks like one of Baden-Powells originals, or a player from a pre World War 2 cup final

  2. Honestly, the state of those cunts in the header pic…..

    Especially the one on the left. Utter fucking helmet.

  3. Bunch of degenerates. A British urban gentleman should wear a three piece suit, preferably tailored, and a decent, respectable hat. Anything less will frighten the horses.

    I might sound tongue in cheek but I agree with LC’s nom. Shorts in urban work settings look slobbish.

  4. They should be forced to wear flip-flops with their half a trouser, then they’ll soon stop, when having to walk further than intended.

  6. Lovely header pic admin..
    The first one looks like he is late for prep school.
    The middle was styled by a blind man,pick a colour.
    And lastly handbag boy for all those essentials like lipstick and ky jelly..
    A real disgrace to mankind..

  7. The blackies forgotten to put his trousers on. He’ll forget he’s in the wrong country next.

    • He certainly looks a bit of a jessie. Probably be a Starmer charmer MP at the next election.

  8. I fully endorse this nom.

    The only adult permitted to wear shorts outside a sporting or leisure setting is Angus Young from AC/DC.

  9. I do my utmost to avoid them.
    As I suspect that the majority
    are turd burglars.
    Good morning.

  10. I fully endorse this nom.
    Those three photos have given me the urge to commit murder. And I’ve not even had breakfast yet.

  11. My pins are awesome even in my sixties.

    Put Big Arnie’s to shame.

    Shorts worn all year round only put long strides on if going out to a function or meal.

  14. Well cunted!

    Sometimes I feel like I am the only person in Spain that doesn’t own a pair of shorts.

    No matter what the weather or the circumstances you will see these short wearing bastards everywhere.

    I have seen tourists in the arrival hall of the airport changing into their shorts.
    It’s like they think “Spain = Shorts” and it really doesn’t matter how cold it is outside.

    Couple that with the scum who think that it’s obligatory to take their shirts off too.

    “Gentuza de la mierda”

    They probably are so used to hearing that phrase that they think that it is some sort of friendly welcome.

    During the day, even if it’s pissing down with rain they will still be shirtless, in their shorts and wearing flip-flops.

    The supermarkets here have signs outside, written in English, saying that shirts must be worn.
    The cunts try to go shopping dressed as they are.

    Most bars, at least the ones worth going to, will not allow you inside or even on their terrace without a shirt.
    Nobody wants to sit on a chair recently vacated by a fat, sweaty slob.

    These scumbags seem to think that the locals want to have a drink or something to eat while looking at their fat, bloated guts.
    We don’t!

    In the evenings, no matter what the season you will see a display of horrible legs. Often badly sunburnt and covered with red, swollen mosquito bites.

    And the fucking state of some people’s feet!
    Yellow, thick skin. Overgrown filthy toenails and still they wear flip-flops, even when eating out in the evening.

    Wintertime?
    It makes no difference.
    Off comes the shirt and on goes the shorts and sandals.

    Mrs Cunter often comments that the men that actually have a body worth looking at, well developed and with a six pack never seem to go shirtless.
    Just the bloated, badly tattooed foreigners.

    Here’s something that these cunts need to think about.
    When the waiters address you as “escoria” it doesn’t mean the same as “señor”.

    • Thanks for not referring to varicose veins, whilst eating my breakfast. Great laugh by the way.

  16. Not only does wearing shorts all year round make one look like a Grade-A cunt, it also makes one appear to be some sort of gaylord.
    I mean, does that cunt on the left think that is a good look? Obviously the wanker doesn’t have access to a mirror.
    The fucking cock-slobberer needs a good shoeing and his head flushed down a bog full of shite.

  17. It needs knee high comfort grip wooly socks to carry off the proper British gentleman in shorts style not the shifty sockless foreign look in the header pics.

  18. The presenters of travel and adventure programmes amaze me.

    There they are, trecking through a rain forest in some distant country while wearing khaki shorts.

    Are they fucking mad?

    There are biting insects, spiders, leeches and fucking snakes.
    They think that their jungle formula mosquito repellent is going to save them!

    These people are supposed to be well travelled.
    They are supposed to know a thing or two, but they don’t seem to realise that the locals who live in these places have a built in resistance to insect bites and they know where the snakes and spiders hang out.

    Ben Sheppard is a cunt.

    • Golfers too.

      Usually the shorts may be tailored and of a better quality, but do you really think that you are going to play an entire round without having to wander into the rough to look for a stray ball?

      They deserve every insect bite that they get and I hope that their bites get infected.

  19. The wearer could attempt to justify his appalling choice of clothing by loudly stating “less material uses less resources” or just continue with his cunt impersonation which is far more likely in most cases.
    Great uncle Percy when in North Africa 8th army had military shorts. Never saw him in shorts when I was a kid, surmised shorts equal trauma so he never wore them again. He could have not wanted to look like a cunt of course.
    As for those knee length shorts what’s wrong with a pair of plus fours, style and practicality in one garment.

  21. One memorable cunt that I saw was shirtless and wearing flip-flops with a scruffy pair of cheap shorts.

    To top off his stylish look he also had a colostomy bag hanging to one side, outside of his shorts.

    He probably didn’t want to spoil the cut.

  22. Artful Cunter, Thanks for another insult to load up for the cunts in Spain or the Canaries if we go again. Normally II just cringe and go somewhere else if the underclass are frequenting where I go.

  24. Too hot for trousers here. Only wear them about one month in the year. So I must be a cunt. 😀

    It is BASTARD hot at the moment. And it’s only October. Good job I’m coming back for the Summer holidays. Probably freeze my bollocks off like I did in 2019.

    • My wife’s son, daughter in law and granddaughter are currently en route home to Brisbane. They commented how mild it is here at the moment.

  26. These cunts often come in pairs.

    The wife will be wearing a scruffy top, badly cut so her fat gut is showing.
    No sleeves so that you can see her fat arms and cheap tattoos.
    Her cunt husband will be shirtless, in shorts and sandles.
    Arm in arm.
    They deserve each other.

    More often than not, and especially in the evenings the husband will be in a stripped, short sleeve shirt. A checked pair of badly fitted shorts, paisley socks and sandals.

    Invariably the wife will be several steps behind with the expression that says, “I told him that he looks like a cunt”.
    Or, “I don’t care. I hate the cunt anyway”.

  27. Shorts for summer, trousers for winter.
    The header pic is a bit misleading, you could find equally cuntlike fucks in trousers.
    People who never wear shorts are as freak as people who wear them in the winter.
    Slides and socks are the biggest cunt fashion. It’s a footballer thing, unsurprisingly.

    • That’s the cunt!

      I called him Ben Sheppard earlier.
      But Ben Sheppard is the other cunt who gives a commentary on discs falling out of a big penny arcade game.

      • I like it. Questions at the 3 year old level for cunts who have no grip at all on the most basic concepts of physics.

  29. Loads of blokes round here still wear beach shorts for the only purpose of showing off their massive chavvy leg tattoos

    • I do find it amusing when women deliberately wear clothing with strategically placed designed holes in the arms or shoulder area to ‘show off’ their shit tattoos…….nothing to do with whether it fatters the wearer, but everything to do with shouting ‘look I have tats’

      Cunts

  30. Will it be Father Christmas next in shorts – kid on knee – handcuffed – police escort. Years ago in the Jobcentre, saw a card wanting a signing Father Christmas. Still amused.

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