Amazon and their drivers are cunts, why you may ask, I was unlucky enough to have one of their drug and alcahol test centres move onto the same compound as my garage and I can say with compete honesty, I have never seen so many scrotes, crimes, immigrant and general fuckmuppery in one place over the space of a year or two in my life, it really was like a massive cunt magnet.
Amazon exploit the fucking rems beyond belief, but a part of me see, s a story like above and I think fuck em all, the driver runs someone’s puppy over, fucks off without saying a word about killing the families beloved pet.
Lukily the woman has cctv and caught the cunt, Amazon the cunts offered her a £250 voucher and wouldn’t release the drivers name.
What a bunch of cunts Amazon are and what a cunt the driver was, probably some immigrant cunt who shouldn’t even be in the country, boils my piss to nuclear fusion levels….
Daily Fail Link 2. (Found this and thought it was funny – NA)
Nominated by: Fuglyucker
And all the bottles of piss they leave in the forest near me. They are indeed cunts – I really can’t believe they have driving licences most of them.
21
We get a lot of parcels delivered.
Mainly for the missus or daughter.
Not sure if it’s these or DHL or whatever but it’s always filthy foreign types that deliver.
Other week one of the cunts was trying to undo the chain and latch on a 7ft gate with a enraged akita on the other side .
Now I know that we have cultural differences
But a gate locked and chained and dog,
Says- keep out.
Borat didn’t seem to understand if he managed to get in the dog would fuck him up?
Is it a company requirement for them to be swarthy an suicidal?
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Morning MNC…was the driver enticed by the sheer country creaminess of the gate?
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Sorry Thomas went out on a job.
Isn’t everyone enticed by the splendour of a country cream gate?😁
3
Acksheemash, I like!!!!!!
3
Reminds me of the time Dave Courtney went out on his first debt collection, knocked on the door and the wrestler Mick McManus answered.
4
I spent the evening of my stag do with Dave Courtney in some dodgy London club with a fucking swimming pool feature inside it.
3
Love Dave’s books and videos Chuff. He’s a character and some of the belly laughs I’ve had from his books and videos. Heard he had a heart attack, read that he’s ok, hope he’s fit and well.
0
Mick McManus was a Saab man – had a load of them. Top bloke.
1
I flew into NYC on the same plane as the erstwhile Mr Courtney. He was in a wheelchair for some reason. Had a chat and shook his hand, though there was a bit of an uncomfortable scene over an autograph. In the end he saw sense and let me sign his book!
2
Top cunting. Cunts to a man/woman who haven’t the ability to ring a doorbell or knock a door or ring and teleport themselves away before leaving your parcel on your doorstep and fucking off. Daughter waiting for a parcel from the cunts, the other day, tracking the van. Watched the swarthy cunt put the parcel on the doorstep, take a photo and fuck off. I’m sat in the front room, reading – no knock or ring – the shifty nob-gobbler just fucked off. So she did what I do when they do it: say it’s not been delivered and get your money back whilst keeping your parcel.
“I couldn’t give a fuck how many pictures you have of it being on my doorstep or in a ‘Safe place’, it wasn’t there when I got home”.
I commend this cunting to the House.
21
get a ring doorbell DCI. it tells you when there is movement on your property and the dodgy fuckers know they’re being watched and recorded.
11
Might just do that, Odin. I watch the cunts, when I’m home during the day, and the speed they can put a parcel on your doorstep and fuck off is staggering.
I might employ the same tactic with bullshit ‘111’ jobs.
9
Blink doorbells are better value and they don’t charge you an annual fee to access the camera’s video recordings👍
6
Ring doorbells are shite. I’m a postman and the amount of times I’ve rung those fuckers,waiting there like a spaz,only to get no reply is incredible.
4
That’s because they send a signal over the internet to Ring’s servers, which are slow, and then back before anything happens locally. Blink don’t do this👍
1
I got two Netview cctv cameras for my place a few months ago. One for the front and one at the back……no subscriptions at all. Saves everything to the cloud, plus ten days worth on the memory card in each one. Movement detector with a still taken of all movement, rewind, take photos, record videos etc brilliant bits of kit. Runs of the mains with battery back up.
Cost me £70 for the cameras plus the same for two hd large capacity cards- all in £140 quid. No subs to anyone.
Check them out, they are fucking brilliant.
4
Oh…and they have a speaker so you can hear, and tell dodgy cunts to fuck off it you aren’t in….obv I don’t ell them I’m not in, I tell them I’m having a shit.
3
DPD are cunts. They tried to fob me off with a photo of somebody else’s house, and no package in sight saying they’d tried to deliver it.
Turns out the depot never even processed the order.
1
The nom pic says it all really doesn’t it?
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Robot Liz could make Amazon only use Royal Mail for all its deliveries.
Keep people in real jobs and get rid of dozy foreign cunts in their battleship sized vans.
Oh and not let any more dozy foreign cunts run government departments.
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The other week one of these cunts was hammering on my front door so loudly that I thought someone was trying to break in.
Being such a pleasant chap I gave the fellow a bit of a fright by opening the door holding a claw hammer and telling him to put the parcel on the floor then Fuck Off.
Made my day.
14
‘Robot Liz’! Nick Abbot, on LBC has done a sound clip of her saying:
“You’ve never had it so good”
sounding like a Dalek! Comedy gold.
‘Morning, Terry, all.
10
We must be the exception. Our normal Amazon driver is very polite and seems helpful. He’s Romanian I think, could be wrong on that though.
10
‘Our normal Amazon driver is very polite and seems helpful’
Definitely not Romanian.
2
Concur.Rumos aren’t the apex of human evolution in general l would posit.I blame the Caucescu (sic) years,all those orphanages they had years ago.
0
I don’t really mind most of the ones who deliver to me…seem ok if I happen to meet them. The only issue I’ve had was with some delivery bloke who I saw tearing down the track and drive into the yard like it was a trial run for a suicide-bombing. I didn’t even shout at him..marched across,took the parcel and said quite matter-of-factly to him that the next vehicle he’d be piloting would be a fucking cripple-chariot if he’d hit one of the Hounds…I fucking meant it and he knew it.
16
The Amazon cunts round my area aren’t even Amazon branded.
You’ll either get a dooshka-dooshka in a bootleg addidas tracky who should be fighting for Putin in Ukraine, or you’ll get a peaceful Alan Snackbar lover who the week before was wearing an orange life jacket running round a beach in Kent.
Both sets of cunts mentioned above have the habit of chucking your parcel at the front door quicker than an Indian cricket fast bowler and they also have the ability to disappear quicker than a French soldier does when shots are fired.
Neither of them press a doorbell or have any uniform or Amazon van, just their traditional dress and a beat up old Hyundai as wheels.
Even non Amazon customers hate these wankers as their lack of driving skill and road sense mean every pedestrian and other road user is at risk to these useless cunts.
Ultimately though, it’s our own fault that these cunts exist. Our demand for cheap Chinese shit means the likes of lazy eyed Bond Villain Bezos will supply this demand the cheapest way possible by using cunts like the one in the nom picture………
Who are the real cunts? Us or them?
15
Same with the cunts around here. A grubby VW transporter and tracksuit bottoms, sometimes the package is dropped off by Swarthy Olga.
It’s not in keeping with the neighbourhood.
1
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Npqc3WUESM
A flip flop enricher.
0
Useless tossers
6
Amazon really ought to put books inside plastic wrappers.
They delivered two books I’d waiting for ages last week.
Left them under the hedge by my front door in a cardboard envelope.
In the pissing rain.
Both books utterly ruined.
Got replacements of course, but still…
9
Plastic covers, TTCE?
I’d reckon any ‘books’ you order would need to be rushed to you under plain cover.
8
And I don’t think Amazon would touch them anyway.
Are your ‘books’ delivered by your local midget-sex trafficking gang?
7
Aye,I’ll bet the new “books” were fucking ruined in a couple of days too…need a bolster chisel and lump hammer to chip the pages apart.
10
Lol
5
Books, or ‘art pamphlets’, Thomas?
3
I ordered an item from Amazon and it took ages to arrive, I contacted them and was told it was “too heavy or bulky to deliver by normal means.” I replied, “It’s a fucking watchstrap!”
They then decided to deliver and I got a message saying it had been delivered and a photo to prove it – the photo showed the package sitting in the back of the van. And luckily the bloke around the corner was honest because they stuck it through his letterbox.
Ring doorbells are really useful for dealing with lying delivery drivers – lost count of the disputes I’ve had with Herpes – in fact, I’ve never actually had anything delivered to my door by them – stuff has gone missing, been chucked into someone else’s garden, left on the street outside my house or simply returned because the driver attempted deliver but I wasn’t in – at the time of his attempt I was standing at my front door chatting to a neighbour and I live in a cul-de-sac and can see every vehicle that comes up the road and no Herpes van appeared.
9
My biggest regret is about 15 years ago, I purchased from fleabay a ladies datejust rolex for my wifes 40’s. It wasn’t brand new, but a very nice used one from a genuine seller, so still a couple of grand worth.
I came home from work and there it was just sitting on my doorstep! Seller had sent it recorded and signed for, but as there was no one in all day it couldn’t have been.
Now, I really wish I had opened a claim for not receiving it.
4
Regretting what you haven’t done is a bad habit CC, I stick to the large list of shit that I have done.
Prolly best you did what you did, you reap what you sow, and it would have bit you in the ass in one way or another 🙂
0
A fair point Termujin- what goes around I suppose.
I must be honest I keep going back to my very fertile youth and thinking about all the shags I turned down so I could have a last couple of pints down the pub with my group of mates before closing.
I was up in my room with this very nice young lady who really wanted a good rutting- I had put all the leg work in to get her there and there she was on the bed just ready for me to unwrap her…then I caught a glimpse of the time and it was just after 10pm…..like a twat (but didn’t think I was at the time) I said come on we can make last orders!
So we fucked off down the pub…never got the opportunity to shag her again either.
Trouble is, when you are young you think pussy will be on tap all your life, so you a really choosy…..then you get old and married and it stops.
1
lol, but…. you never know, could have dodged a bullet. She might have had the pox, could have knocked her up and been forced to do the “decent thing”, could have been a rabbit boiler, could have, would have, should have.
Can’t change the past mate, best to try and shape the future.
RE marriage, a little joke.
What’s the best way to stop your gf from blowing you?
Marry her!
3
The people who work in the warehouse are Fucking Idiots
I ordered Something small but these retards must have cut down a rainforest to get the Packaging for it
7
Haha!
Sane here. I once ordered a new laptop battery. About the save size as a ruler.
Came in packaging you could’ve put a washing machine in ffs.
7
‘Same here’
Not many call me ‘sane’ nowadays, sadly.
4
Just keep a chip pan constantly frying away.
If anyone ever knocks on your door and does not produce ID when asked, pour it over their head.
Can’t be too careful.
Cuntybollocks
Ward 27
Broadmoor Hospital
9
A kettle and a bowl half full of sugar has a similar effect
2
See you in the canteen in 5. We can discuss what God told us to do to put us in here.
2
The Amazon drivers ever came over in boats that were either too big or too small. We knew who they were, due to them not letting us know of their arrival.
3
We have an Amazon delivery centre near us. I play a game of how many cunts go through the red light when it’s green my way. I am getting hoarse yelling blind cunt at all the twats who do it.
2
Got 1 Doberman 1 Rottweiler 2 spaniels and Jack Russell fecking drivers can NEVER take a pic of anything on our doorstep and fuck off, unless they are Usain bolt on speed.
2
Instead of making a bolt for your doorbell. The mentality of some people.
2
Oh for the days when you could walk down your bustling higher street, go into shops, and buy things.
Modern life is rubbish.
Get To Fuck.
7
Predictive text can Fuck Off too.
4
Amazon is indicative of everything wrong in our once great country.The cunts in charge pay not much tax They employ any cheap imported illegal shit with ten owners to one driving licence.They block the roads.They’ve fucked our high streets which older folk used to actually use to buy things from respected local and national British companies.I will never deal with them ..Cunts cunts and more cunts
4
If you ever get the chance to read the ‘Taking a day off work to wait for a parcel delivery’ guide in Viz. Fucking funny. Basically boils down to the person can no longer wait any longer at 4pm and has to go for a shit. At 4:01 pm the delivery driver knocks once on the door shoves a note through the door ‘you weren’t in’. The person has to go to an industrial estate 30 miles away to collect his parcel, the mouth breather behind the counter looks but can’t find it. Person rebooks they delivery, takes another day off work, on the day can wait no longer and goes for a shit at 4:15pm. At 4:17pm the delivery repeats the first visit.
5
When we got burgled last year, an amazon driver who came to make a delivery stayed with my very shaken missus until I arrived back home. Top lad.
6
The full video doesn’t really show the whole incident, just the delivery and immediate aftermath of the dog being run over. Still, cuntish of the driver not to stop.
1
I ordered a parcel from Amazon, and the driver (a foreign personage) didn’t even ring the doorbell (it was on a Sunday). In fact, he didn’t come to our house at all. He left the parcel in the garden of a neighbour across the road, and he wasn’t told anything either. He found it while he was gardening, Luckily, he came over and gave it to me. But the cunt who just literally dropped it? I’ve heard of phone monkeys (Virgin Media and the like), But now there are delivery monkeys. These cunts will employ absolutely anyone. Even if they are thick as pigshit and can’t (or won’t) speak our language.
1
OT Norman, but what do you make of the world’s highest paid footballer, Kylian Mbappe, dating a tranny?
I thought it was a wind up. Seems to be true.
I wonder what Cloughie, Big Mal and Jack Charlton would’ve made of that on the panel?
0
Typical dirty deviant frog, Cuntybollocks.
Of course, Lineker will lick Mbappe’s arse for this. But it is just another part of the disgraceful freakshow that is modern football.
I also heard rumours about an ex- Chelsea cunt who was partial to a bit of tranny fanny. Clue: He was black and had the surname of that famous old singer, Nat King….
2
There were plenty of rumours about him years ago at Arsenal, Norm. I was a season ticket holder at the time.
One involved him getting regularly rogered by a player at Arsenal at the time. Not naming names, I’ll just call him Col Bampbell. Rumour was, a lover’s tiff sent Col Bampell mental that night he left the stadium in a strop refusing to play. He never came back from that, the big puff (allegedly).
0
Not only Amazon drivers are cunts.
Some years back, I ordered a new mobile phone from Tesco.
They used DHL. Was given time for delivery, van pulls up at house dead opposite to deliver a parcel and asks the neighbour to take in mine without bothering to cross over the road.
Sent a rant to DHL and got a reply email: “Sorry, blah, blah, blah” with a fucking smiley emoji at the bottom.
Utter CUNTS!
0
DHL? Absolute cunts, but still the best way to get rid of a dead body. Parcel up the deceased, address it to yourself and ship via DHL. You’ll never see the fucker again! Works every time👍👍
4