Football 1: Marriage 0

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What NOT do on your wedding day:
A: send your brother instead.
B:there is no B.
I love the strange, off the beaten track stuff, but this has really left me gostering.

Sports Bible News Link

Well, bugger me with a pineapple, if I thought this news item wasn’t weird enough, I mean, who does that?

Just read to the end of the article. Elephantitis? Witch Doctor?

Fuck me, I’m surprised they didn’t manage to attach a spooky music soundtrack.

I’m suggesting that he’s a cunt, because he sent a sub in to marry the woman he’s supposed to love until the end of days, instead of telling the team to send a sub for the match.

Disrespectful!

Nominated by: Jeezum Priest 

38 thoughts on “Football 1: Marriage 0”

  1. It wouldn’t have mattered wherher he’d sent his brother or not; the wedding would still have proceeded in the same way that all African weddings do: during the reception, a quarter of the guests end up as dinner for the other three quarters.
    Also known as ‘a Black and Red Wedding’.

    • They’ll catch monkey pox.

      “Lammy! Get down from there this instant!”

      Eeeeeeekkkk…

  2. Infamy! Infamy! My brothers got it in for me! That might constitute bigamy. You daft cunt!

  3. If you’re a bird in Sierra Leone and you’ve managed to bag a footballer you’ve hit the fucking jackpot so you’ll put up with any old shit. It’s better than a free trip across the Channel in a dinghy.

  6. Africans?
    Getting married?

    That’s not what the charity adverts told me…

    Perhaps they walk 80 miles to the nearest fetid well after the ceremony?

  9. Fucking hell, I think the real story here is that this super-spade is actually getting married.
    These spóok types usually shag a bird a couple of times, then fuck off for good before the kid is born.
    (Ask Saint Marcus of Rashford if you don’t believe me!)

  10. In a few months she’ll say, “Darling I’m preg…what are you running from?”

    Got a nice schadenfreude type story.

    Bird I once worked with years ago. Proper up her own arse. Blonde bimbo. Great body, slightly dodgy fizzog, but most blokes fancied her. Wasn’t my type, but talked to me and other honky males like shite, as though asking her about something work related was chatting her up, the stupid cunt. Anyhow, she only liked dark meat. She once said at work that all white men were wimps and crap lovers.

    Well, she came in to work one morning celebrating that some Lionel Joseph from the local nightclub had got her up the duff. “He’s so excited, I’m so happy I could cry!”

    The fucker legged it a few weeks later and left her as a single mum to be. Fucked off abroad to avoid child maintenance too. Then, she got a new boyfriend who did exactly the same thing to her lol.

    How we sn i g gered in the office.

    • She had to give up full time work too to take care of her kids. Went part time, then quit to go on the sponge.

      I always wondered what her dad thought of his daughter, pushing a double buggy with two halfy kids with no dad to be seen?

      With her looks and figure gone by this stage, as well as two dark key kids, no cunt was interested in taking her on.

      Her dad must’ve been delighted.

  11. How did she know it was his brother and not him?
    Was he wearing glasses or something?

    • An interesting question, MNC.
      I’m sure she knew it was the brother subbing, it says something about the girl though, dunnit?
      I’d have betean the bastard to death with the bouquet, and throttled the brother with the “something blue” garter, had I been her.
      I suppose it’s normal practice in wooly land.

    • Good call. I hate that flash Joshua cunt. Him and his “only buy at black businesses” racist crap. What fucking black businesses? Have you ever seen one other than a barbers which is obviously a front for drugs and money laundering. Hope he gets his smug face punched in. Cunt.

  13. When an African footballer, signs with a Swedish sports team, to play in a Chinese super league, you know the story is not going to end well.

  14. Mo Farah was up for that one back in 2010, when he married Tania Nell. He wanted his brother Hassan to ‘fill in for him,’ as he was too busy, with his usual bullshit engagements. It was never going to work though, as although they are identical twins, Hussan has a large gap in his front teeth, & just like Mo, he can’t keep it shut!

  15. All this talk of footballers, brothers and playing away, reminds me of that Ryan Giggs cunt.

    • I wonder if Gareth Southgate will be having a chat with Ryan Giggs and “educate” him about his behaviour towards women?

      Actually, no I don’t. I know he fucking won’t.

  19. What a fucking wanker Anthony Joshua is.
    The media friendly mask.has slipped yet further.

    Fuck off you overhyped imposter – you were beaten fair and square.

  20. Fair play to the lad. He turned up for the game and did his bit. Priorities bang on…

    Imagine any of that shower of shit that taint Old Trafford in that situation? Those cunts would cry off the Liverpool game to attend a shopping trip by the ‘wifey’ or go to a spoilt brat’s birthday party. One can imagine Erik Ten Thingy saying ‘Marcus Rashcunt can’t play today. He’s doing something very important for Comic Relief and BLM’.
    Fucking shithouses.

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