Dirty Habits

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No, I’m not talking about the Cuntstable’s private hardcore CofE porn stash. Instead I am talking about some rather disgusting habits and personal hygiene issues I have witnessed in the public domain over the last few days and weeks.

Yesterday, for example, I had to rough it on a bus due to a train cancellation. The bus was packed with a right assortment of old and young, locals and tourists, quiet people and gobby cunts. Some of them blatantly ignored the “no eating” signs plastered all over the interior of the bus, while others tried to sneak smoking a spliff behind a magazine, stinking the place out something quite sickly.

But worst of all involved a girl, probably in her late teens, sitting directly in front of me, listening to music on her tinny headphones and gawping at her phone while digging for gold up her left nostril.

Her index finger was buried up to the first joint as it rooted around looking for whatever it was that was bothering her. And because I was sitting behind her and to the left, I had a “good/bad” view of what as going on right up to the point of her removing said digit adorned with a glistening ball of slimy snot. Which she then wiped on something or other below my line of vision. But she wasn’t finished there because up went the finger again looking for dessert. And sure enough it retrieved a few snotty morsels, which again was wiped away (probably on the bus seat)

Another issue I have about travelling on public transport is how some people have never heard of personal hygiene and body odour. Standing in a cramped carriage on a train journey to Carlisle last month meant having to whiff the greasy unwashed dandruff-ridden hair of some young emo cunt, who again was staring at his phone. And then there was some fat Humpty-Dumpty-wannabe standing roughly 10ft further up the aisle, but I could smell his vile BO from that distance! I really can’t describe the aroma but it was like someone opening a festering wheelie bin that hadn’t been emptied in weeks!

Then there’s the silent hit-and-run phantom farter! Moves into position on the seat next to you, jiggles his/her arse a bit to one side, drops a depth charge and then fucks off, leaving the collateral damage behind so that the victims point accusing fingers (and noses) at you!

The (in)famous idiom “The Great Unwashed” has never been so apt when it comes to encountering some right disgusting cunts in the public domain!

Nominated by: Technocunt

and supported by: arfurbrain

Good nom Techno. I’m afraid the problem is that some people literally know no better.

I spent my working life on the road and I couldn’t begin to count the times I have followed vehicles where empty packets, fast food cartons and even glass bottles have been casually thrown overboard.

Sometimes it’s struck me that this behaviour is going on in cars way out of my price range.

How often when walking round the shops have you seen adults give their brats sweets and then watch unmoved, as the brats unwrap the sweets and toss the wrapper aside?

As for the personal hygiene thing, maybe there was some small excuse when the tin bath hung on the coal house door and Saturday evenings main task was heating enough water for a bath but I’m sure very few live in such conditions nowadays and the number of people who smell like a blocked drain far exceeds that.

73 thoughts on “Dirty Habits”

  1. Still with heating bills going up to £1m per year, you will need a mask unless Lnyx drop their prices.

  3. At least the nasal prospecting girl on the bus wiped her bogies on a tissue or something. In the 1st year of secondary school I had the misfortune to sit next to a lad who ate his. He’d even lick the snot off his hankey. Used to make me heave.

  4. My deodorant is bespoke.
    Blended from gris-gris, camphor, and dewberry by a perfumier on Bond street.

    I smell like a slice of heaven.

    • That old biddy fingering herself in the pic,
      She’s been dragged up rather than brought up.
      Poor manners.
      Probably from a broken home or something?

      • Her mum was a Lowlander, her family have been on benefits and cousin fucking for generations. What else could you expect.

    • I wonder what AnalEase Dodds smells like? – a combination of Mandelson & Campbell’s farts and Rayners minge juice I imagine. with the slightest suggestion of Streeting’s unwashed foreskin. Enjoy your breakfasts.

    • You artisan-loving Nancy-Boy….A Gentleman smells of damp tweed,Hounds,cigarettes and horse-shit.

      You probably smear pomade on your merkin

      • I used to work with a bloke who’s unfortunate surname was Merkin.

        Oh how we chuckled whilst informing colleagues of the origin of his name.

  6. I have always disliked Ronnie O’Sullivan who often picks his nose and his fingers and nose when his opponent is at the table – it is at once both intimidating and insulting to the opponent, who might have waited ages to get to the table in the first place O’Sullivan is a very talented player – he doesn’t need to descend to unnecessary vulgarities like that.

    I was once served with a Captain, who, when in aggressive, O’Sullivan mode, had an unfortunate habit of scratching his private parts and “re-arranging” himself. Always an unpleasant experience at sea, though he had a wife at home.

  7. I have to shower and change my clothes every day.
    In summer when working you sweat buckets.

    But since I stopped smoking few years ago I now notice other people’s BO.

    Or unwashed hair.

    It reminds me of the 70s when the majority of people stank a bit.

    But got to admit I enjoy dirty habits.
    Pissing Al fresco
    Spitting
    Playing with my balls
    And farting loudly.

  9. I am the phantom farter. One derives great pleasure from people’s reactions when dropping my guts on the bus, at work, in the shops and the pub. Funnily enough, no one notices at the kebab shop.

  11. Public transport is a cunt.

    On a recent trip to Edinburgh by train I was amused to see in the space of a few hours two Nigerians,a tramp and what I took to be an escaped lunatic,still with plasters covering injection marks.

    Several of the women in the seats nearby looked terrified for the entire journey.

    On the way back another tramp who Mrs Terry said stank of shit was in the standing area eating biscuits and several seats were taken by a group of chaps getting pissed.

    British Rail “We’re getting there”…Jimmy Saville fronted that ad campaign..he must be rolling in his unmarked grave.

    The cunt.

    • Travelling by bus is even worse..the smell of some of the cunts is medieval.

      If forced to board these shit tins the driver should ask Where to ? Then give you a gas mask and a flask of single malt.

      And it should be free.

      People are cunts.

      Smelly cunts.

      • My daughter has been given FOC a bus pass for us to use this summer holiday…..free travel for us as a family throughout the who county. Sweet.

        Sooooo……we have used the bus for the first time since I was a lad, and fuck me how can you rely on buses to actually do anything important in your life…..takes a fucking age.

        For example….my wife does a bit of fleabaying and means we have to drop parcels off to the handling shop a couple of times a week which is about 5 miles from us. In a car we can be back in the house in 40 minutes….if we had to use public transport it would take us over 4 fucking hours! And another thing…….why do bus companies assume you know where your stop is to get off? Unlike trains, they don’t announce the next stop……..so if you don’t know the area then you miss it, or you press the button to stop the bus, get off and realise the stop you want is another mile down the road. Why the fuck cant busses announce the next stop? Totally puts me off using a bus going to an area I don’t know. What i have had to do is go to google street view to see the tarea we are heading for and search for the bus stops, so I can familiarise with what it looks like so I know when to press the stopping button. How the fuck to foreigners or people from out the area know? It’s shit when you think about it.

      • CC They do in London. A hoity-toity sounding tart who sounds as if Sarah Ferguson had gone to work for TfL. You get these smarmy recordings such as “the driver has been TOLD to wait at this stop to regulate the serrvice. We apologize for ANY inconvenience caused” and the next stop is “Picknose Close” – all he bloody time. It drives you mad.

      • Yeah, I figured at least London would do something like that….actually I forgot they did last time I used a bus in London- to be fair though bus stops in London aren’t few and far between, unlike places in the country which would make announcing stops more important, where if you get off at the wrong stop you could be some distance from where you should be and unlike London the next bus may be a two hours wait.

  12. My wife has some dirty habits, I went to piss in the kitchen sink last night and it was full of dirty dishes.

    • And what an unwashed beehatch she must be. She should hane been trashed by the Force’s Chief Superinspector.

    • Onasty is lucky. The spouse won’t even put her dishes in the sink. She rocks herself to sleep trying to get out of her chair. I will have to get her an ejector seat for her birthday.

    • Morning Jack, I trust you and Ethel are well?
      I see that dozy pig bint was disciplined by a panel. The chairperson’s name was Ogheneruona Iguyovwe.
      What sort of a coutry have we become when african cannibals can talk down to an indigenous woman, even if she is a dirty, useless twat?
      That pig bird should have told the PG Tips panel to go fuck themselves.

      • We are both well, thanks.
        It’s a fucking disgrace.
        The cannibal, not mine and Ethel’s rude health.
        Morning, Thomas. 👍

    • I was already there thinking that before you mentioned it JTC.

      Would love that…..still as a broom handle thinking about it.

  15. Two men discussing their sex life and their wife’s reaction after sex.
    First one says my missus enjoys sex with me so much she literally lifts off the bed a little on climax.

    Second one says that’s fuck all, I climax, wipe my knob on the curtains and she hits the fucking roof.

  16. Techno described all the reasons why public transport should be avoided at all times, full of cunts.

    All those who mock the mask wearing and hand sanitiser should travel on a bus or the tube, makes your skin crawl 😂
    I admit I do use the train occasionally but alway make sure I touch the absolute minimum number of surfaces, who knows what disease ridden dirty cunts have been there before you, Covid, that is the least of your worries 🤨

    • By 2035 that’s all there will be – buses, trains and only the elite will get to fly on planes.

      “You veel own nothing and be happy.”

  17. People who fart on the underground when the train carriage is packed, you always get some p@ki stinking of curry and bo who is right in front of you, mind you, once as I got off the train I felt a rumble in my guts and before I stepped off I let a silent hot gas fart, the silent and deadly type and as the door closed behind me I can imagine the other passengers wretching and gagging

  18. I normally stink of 2-stroke at the end of the day……a proper mans smell….none of this nancy Lynx shit

  19. I have no filthy habits apart from pissing in the compost and farting like a walrus.

  21. A very stinky bloke got on my bus and proceeded to spray himself ( and everything within three feet) with deodorant in a cloud that slowly descended. Bizarre.

    • Louis XIV (may have been a later Louis) didn’t bathe. He just doused himself with perfumes all his days so he stank like… ass bacteria, alcohol, flowery oils and general French cunt stank! Grrrrrrossss!

  22. Where I used to work I was in charge of half a dozen van drivers. One of them was a rather rotund, country bumpking type bloke, in his 40’s still living with mum and if he did have a shower it was only once a week. In the Summer he used to sweat like a stuck pig and he fucking stank. So much so, I had customers he delivered to ringing me up to complain about the smell.

    Anyway, telling an employee they stink and we have had complaints it a prettt delicate subject to approach, so I had him in my office, sat him down and said we have had one or two complaints. He said ‘what about?’ I said, ‘ look, if I said you could use a dead rat as an air freshener in your van, would you get my drift?’

    Worked though.

  23. I would rather be on a 18th century prison ship in July than ride public transportation.

  24. When I was commuting. There used to be a Cunt on the platform who flossed his teeth whilst waiting for the train. 🤢

    • I bet he used the same bit of floss everyday.
      As Jean Paul Sartre said, hell is other people.

  25. Black people have this awesome criticism of white people. It’s those white families who use the same bar of soap in the shower. “You mean you all rub that soap on your balls, pussies, asses and faces? I feel muthafuckin’ sick.”

  26. Using public transport is a dirty habit i left behind in my twenties.

    Another disgusting habit is any bloke over the age of 15 wearing a baseball cap back-to-front.

    You, mate, look like a cunt.

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