I fucking hate password rules.
Seriously, every site has different rules. It makes it almost impossible to come up with a password or pattern I can remember across two dozen different sites that all demand passwords.
I know you’re not “supposed” to use the same password on multiple sites, but it’s easy to use one for “non-critical” sites (where you lose nothing if you get hacked, really), and then just have a simple pattern that’s easy to remember to vary the passwords across other sites.
But when different sites have different, and conflicting rules, it fucking winds me up!!
For example, one site demands that you use an upper-case, a lower-case, a number, AND a symbol, and that your password must be 10 characters or longer. A different site says your password must be 6-8 characters. Yet another says “no special characters”. FFS!!!
Fuck you all! Let ME choose the password. If I get hacked, let it be MY fucking fault… not YOURS because you made me have to write down my bloody password just to remember it!!
Either that or just get one UNIFORM set of standards. Seriously, this is fucking ridiculous!!!
On a side note, when I couldn’t remember my password to one of my sites, it locked me out. It then asked my “security questions”, including a question I NEVER GAVE AN ANSWER TO. Seriously, it asked me what my first pet’s name was. I’ve NEVER had one. I couldn’t imagine what I’d answer for such a question, and I know full well I didn’t fill out that question, so it locked my account. WTF??!!
I fucking hate computers sometimes……..
Nominated by: Cunt Me In
Passwords are indeed a cunt, as are pin numbers and passphrases. But then again some people ask for trouble when their passwords are simple to crack such as “12345678” or “ABCDEFGH”
However, the good news is, passwords could all be a thing of the past just so long as you have a mobile phone to do the authenticating. Which is great if you have a phone (privacy issues aside) but not so great if you haven’t.
We should start to see this happen by the end of the year, if not sooner
https://www.techrepublic.com/article/google-apple-microsoft-end-passwords-phone/
6
I think there are some browsers such as Chrome that will generate passwords automatically upon request and save them for future use..
It’s saved my bacon more than once.
He’s a good egg that Zuckerberg isn’t he?
5
All was good with SSE, until they unfortunately moved me over to Ovo Energy. I had to re-do all the security, as they wouldn’t let me use my existing stuff. So a real arse. It also asked me to accept their fucking cookies as well, which I really hate, every time I logged on. & then they updated their security again, so that the IPad I was using’s IOS is not high enough any more.
2
I love the boiled cabbage password exchange in the header pic.
At least it gives you clues as to what the rules are. At work it just says ‘does not meet the password criteria’, and no clues as to what this is. So I phoned and IT claim they don’t know either! Spent ages with upper, lower, special characters before it accepted one.
3
A few years ago, I worked at a dealership for a well known car manufacturer. Apart from passwords for the firms bespoke computer system, there were separate sites for technical info, parts ordering, warranty claims, accessories, literature (service books etc) and online training. Most of these had to be accessed in a normal day and the fuckers required new passwords every 8-12 weeks, using different formats. What a cunt that was. It’s easier to log in to the pentagon I’d imagine.
8
My savings bank has locked me out – incorrect password, even though the id and password are saved.
Cunts
4
Some computers need a fingerprint! Fuck that, They want something really unique check out my cockprint !
9
I know it’s against the rules but I can’t resist. Is the uniqueness of your cockprint determined by the variety of mushrooms growing out of your foreskin cheese?
6
Not quite SD, its my “japs eye” which I believe is unique in its asterix formation….fucking magic for icing cakes, pissing ? Now thats a problem.
3
I often use Gingers(anag,6) as a password.
9
My friend “Knobby” uses “SpermDoner4u”
4
I use an anagram too. Mine is ‘unctuous’.
Shit, I’ll have to change it now.
4
Being a pedantic cunt, doesn’t any anagram of ‘gingers’ have 7 letters?
3
That`s why it locked me out.
7
I have so many different accounts with different user names and passwords so how do these fuckers expect me to remember them all without writing them down??
But the thing that really pisses me off is that I am required to have a phoe so that even after satisfying all he above shit requirements, they insist on sending a six digit identification code to my mobile phone.
Please note arseholes : NOT EVERYONE HAS A FUCKING MOBILE PHONE !!
8
I had this argument with HSBC who wanted to occasionally send a verification code to my mobile when I made an online purchase. I asked if could email it…”No”…send a voice recording to landline phone ( same as Govt. gateway)…”No” . I told them that I’d be shifting my accounts…lo and behold,they told me that they’d send me a card-reader that generates the code…..Why the fuck didn’t they just tell me that when I first approached them instead of reaching the point of closing my accounts ?
4
DF-F@ – Afternoon Sir Fiddler, the card readers are very useful but order an extra one – the batteries ALWAYS die at the most inconvenient moments.
One of my passwords (for something inconsequential that I am baffled why I would need a password in the first place) is Bastardcunt, indicative of the time and frustration it took to set up.
1
Be cautious about using web browsers (such as Chrome) to store your passwords and then syncing your Google account to other devices along with those saved website login/password details.
1/ there’s more chance of being hacked
and
2/ if you sell a device without uninstalling Chrome first, or at least turning off syncing to that device and clearing out all the passwords,then there’s the remote chance the new owner could access those very same logins and passwords with a simple hack tool that interrogates registry entries and decrypts.
8
Techno@ – Afternoon Techno – good advice – I buy, sell and repair IT equipment and it always surprises (and sometimes shocks me) how much is left on stuff with regard to phone numbers, photos, passwords, linked accounts etc.
I operate honestly and always scrub and reset before selling, but there are some dodgy types out there.
2
I always put the lump hammer through my old phones, comps and tablets.
2
That header pic made me laugh this morning, very funny.
6
I use so many filthy sites online I’ve had to save all the various passwords in the Memo function on my mobile… Be fun if the Mrs ever finds that little list!!
4
I’m getting a new Chromebook this week and am told that you can transfer passwords from the old to the new….I looked it up and suspect it won’t be quite as easy as it looks.
3
I think that so long as you have one of those “Google” accounts (ie:with a user name and password) and sign into the new chromebook with your details it will magically transfer them all over.
All our info is held in one of googles mega computers,to help them to help themselves.
Lovely.
7
Fuck me..I hope you’re right.
Morning,Unk
Morning,All
2
Good morning and good luck.
It’s possible computers and their like are the work of Satan.
4
Just use something memorable and so utterly disgusting that a hacker would gag if they ever discovered it and then just add a number.
Eg: AnaliseDoddsrustygusset1
5
Being an old cunt, I just write them all down in a book with “passwords “ written on the front.
7
You ought to label it:
WCAwa9duCrTC1xJbN0QL
5
It’s the smart arses in shops who say you will need a password to access such and such. And when I say how am I supposed to remember it? They say it’s only 6 numbers and a letter. YES….if I only have ONE fucking site I needed a password for I could remember it, but 20 fucking sites with 20 passwords all of differing security levels is fucking impossible you cunts.
3
CC@ – Afternoon CC – if anyone in a shop was stupid enough to demand I set up a password to put money in their pocket I would just refuse outright, any further enquiry would be met with “what part of the word no are you not understanding here?”, followed by a “Worcestershire type glare” 😀
4
Would you offer them the bike shed challenge? Asking for a friend.
1
The internet is for cunts. Parchment, quill and ink for me.
4
When I lived in the UK I had my bank call me on my mobile……
“Is that Mr Cunter”
Yes.
“This is your bank. Before we talk can you please give me the last 4 letters of your password”
No I fucking can’t. What’s the point of a password if I give out various digits from it to any cunt that calls me?
“Well I can’t talk to you without knowing that you are our customer”
Good. Fuck off because I don’t want to talk to you anyway. Remember, you rang me, you cunt.
8
Superb retort sir.
6
Had the same call several times a few years back. They no longer ring me.
4
Yes – I had this recently, some bud bud, ding, ding phoned me asking me to confirm my address.
Why, I asked. For security they said (I could sense the individuals head was wobbling from side to side as it does when they talk).
I said
Fanny Cottage
Minge lane
Worcestershire
Wobbly head man said, excellent Sir, now can I confirm your email address.
I said no you can’t you cunt beucase I don’t live here no fuck off.
4
I would have posted in this nom earlier but I forget my computer password and was locked out.
7
A friend of mine had a username and password for a well known site used by ladies of the night to advertise their services.
Punters can leave a rating for their experience and can even write a “field report “
Ladies advertising on the site can leave feedback on the punter as well.
My friend had managed to build up a number of positive feedbacks , which seem to be a useful thing.
One day he logged in and the site said “username/password not recognised”
Without any positive feedback he said that it was nigh on impossible to pay anyone “decent” for sex.(whatever that means)
I said fuck it , the women who say that they won’t see anyone with positive feedback are up their own arse. If they’re that fucking snotty why are they peddling their cunts for cash?
1